FINALLY! Here's part one! Feel free to edit/shorten it if necessary.
Introduction
Much to relief of Team S.E.A., Brexit finally happened, and Great Britain hadn’t sunk into the sea yet, so we had time to visit the country’s most popular theme park: Alton Towers.
Owned by Merlin Entertainments, which has dominion over most other British theme parks and attractions, Alton Towers is set in the heart of the Staffordshire country, close to the village of Alton. Once a prosperous estate, the property and surrounding land was sold, transforming it into a public theme park, and later a resort. The park is vast, made up of a lot of untouched woodland across 910 acres, attracting 2.1 million people a year. A recent injection of $250 million into the park’s infrastructure, leading to mass expansions to the park, with the inclusion of two new lands and refurbishments to all the other existing areas.
The American members of our party practically bouncing up and down in their coach seats. However, we all remained mostly unaware of the finer details of the park’s facelift, but were intrigued by the creative challenges Alton Towers’ own Imagineers faced. They were forbidden from touching the ancient Alton Towers and their beautiful gardens. There was also the unusual rule that no attractions or buildings could go above the tree line, pushing Merlin Entertainments to think outside the box in their imagineering.
While in America, theme park news was a big deal, the UK’s are more downplayed. The planned London Resort had yet to get off the ground, but luckily the news of Alton Towers’ expansion and refurbishment were enough to excite Team S.E.A. Behind closed doors, Merlin had made licensing deals with Frederick Warne & Co., The C.S. Lewis Company, Roald Dahl Story Company Ltd, and more surprisingly of all, the video game company Sega, announcing their intention to bring their properties to life in new lands and attractions. The investment in building a video game-themed land to rival Universal’s Super Nintendo World took the theme park industry by storm. For now, Sonic the Hedgehog is the only Sega property featured in the park, but rumours abound that more franchises would appear in future phases.
Upon being dropped off in the resort’s car park, we were met by an unusual sight. Alton Powers boasts a number of exhilarating rollercoasters including Oblivion, Nemesis, and The Smiler, but we didn’t expect to see the remnants of the long gone Corkscrew coaster on display. Its gorgeous purple and golden colours maid homage to the rollercoaster’s history, and that of the park. The park’s monorail passed by, circling the entrance plaza, delivering guests from the nearby hotels. No one was particularly keen on staying in the CBeebies Hotel, or trying out the controversial Star Pods.
Every park needs a good entry land, and our glimpse of Alton Towers’ historic coaster took us into another historical setting.
TOWERS STREET served as the Main Street of Alton Towers, in a semi-Victorian English environment. The land itself was not very big, paving the way for a patchwork of green lawns, the blue
Boating Lake, and beyond that were
The Towers themselves, the remnants of Alton Towers and serving as the central point of the park. Almost like a real world counterpart to Disneyland’s Sleeping Beauty Castle.
Once with multicoloured buildings straight out of
Balamory, Towers Street now resembled a Victoria-era street straight out of a painting. It is a minimalistic approach, but still has its charms with its intricate details in the windows. The view of the lake, lawns, and the Towers serve as the true attractions of the land, but there are a number of shops and restaurants to visit, small in size, but had plenty of merchandise and food to buy, with new exteriors to match the Victorian aesthetic.
The right-hand side of the street had been reduced to exterior scenery for many years, but had been transformed into a large new multi-sectioned park called the
Alton Emporium, split between three wings, one for books, one for branded clothes, and a third for music and media. The new shop attracted quite the crowd, with plenty of collectibles, and a Harrods-esque design provided a lot to explore and enjoy.
Team S.E.A. scattered to the four winds, visiting every land in the park, exploring the new attractions, but taking time to wander through the lovely gardens too. Not something you often do in a theme park, but it is a British thing.
Once upon a time, two lands used to live in the eastern side of the park, named Adventure Land, home to a lone rollercoaster, and the sweet but somewhat babyish CBeebies Land. Both lands closed to make way for one larger new arrival, though a majority of the CBeebies Land attractions were moved over to the CBeebies Hotel, creating a new play park of sorts.
FABLED FOREST celebrates English children’s literature, combining the works of C.S. Lewis, Beatrix Potter, and Roald Dahl in a brand new land, inheriting the educational roots set by CBeebies Land and its predecessors. The natural trees and woodland made the area feel almost like it had always been there, homely and inviting. Some of British’s greatest literature has found its home here, with several new attractions, split into three sections.
[INSERT MAP HERE. MAY OR MAY NOT INCLUDE ONE DEPENDING ON TIME.]
Our first destination was a large Edwardian manorhouse, not to out of place with the rest of the former grand estate. We spotted a few of these buildings visible around the park, and at first, nearly dismissed it out of hand. That’s when we noticed a lot of people going inside, drawn to whatever was in the house. We soon discovered, to our surprise, that people were stepping through a huge floor-to-ceiling wardrobe and disappearing inside.
Curious and already kinda knowing what to expect, but still drawn with childlike wonder, we too stepped through this magic wardrobe and found ourselves in the snowy forest of Narnia, from C.S. Lewis’ book series.
@Brer Panther, who had no prior emotional experience to the books or movies, was particularly enchanted by the perfecting transition into this wintery realm. The snowy forest, with the iconic lamppost in the centre, was gorgeous to behold.
In truth, Narnia is an intelligent piece of imagineering, placed with a hidden, climate controlled show building, invisible within the tree line. Although small in size, it is home to a river boat ride, a combined restaurant-shop duplex, and a separate store as well, all based within the realm of Narnia. The building takes up most of the room in the former CBeebies Land.
We quickly made our way onto the sub-land’s lone but impressively enchanting attraction:
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. An eight-to-ten minute riverboat ride, it is based on the first of C.S. Lewis’ novels,
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. We passed through scenes from the novel, guided through light snowfall, and the climate conditioning found in the rest of this magical place.
Upon arriving at the entrance to Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, I immediately got flashbacks to that Journey to Narnia thing they had at Disney's Hollywood Studios. But this was much better. It wasn't a walk-through, it was a boat ride that took you through Narnia. There were really impressive animatronics of all the characters from the book... Aslan is my personal favourite, but Mr. Tumnus and the White Witch looked great too! And the entire attraction had the air conditioning on really high, which combined with the snow effect (how DID they do that?) really immersed me in the story. For a few seconds, I forgot that this was just a theme park ride... I thought that I'd actually arrived in Narnia!
The queue took us through the ruins of a large stone castle, subjected to time and age, covered in ivy. One thing of note was the remnants of a throne room, judging by the four high thrones, perfectly preserved. Perhaps left to wait for their owners. We came to a dock where wooden boats wait, with room for around sixteen guests per boat. The cast members played the role of acolytes of the Pensieve children, their lost kings and queens, sending us into perhaps the past or a memory to follow Lucy, Edmund, Susan, and Peter’s journey.
The journey began pleasant and atmospheric, similar to the opening scenes of Pirates of the Caribbean, taking us through more ruins and a snowy glen. We then passed by a series of scenes familiar to us from the books and movie adaptations:
Lucy enters Narnia for the first time and meets the faun Mr. Tumnus. In his home, made in the heart of a huge tree, Tumnus warns Lucy about Jadis the White Witch and how she seeks to kill the children of Adam and Eve (i.e. humans). Things grew dark and eerie as we entered a dead wood, full of petrified animals and characters, before meeting Jadis, her sleigh pulled by polar bears, who entices Edmund with Turkish delights. The four siblings appear in Narnia together, meeting Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, fleeing from Jadis' wolves. Father Christmas then turned up, arming the Pensieves, and gave us a warning to evade Jadis and to seek out the lion Aslan. During this scene, the winter begins to disappear, hinting at Aslan’s return to Narnia.
Speaking of which, things turnrf sunny as we and the children encountered the mighty lion for the first time, amongst other creatures like talking animals and centaurs. Maugrim, the witch’s wolf minion, showed up in the next scene and warned us that Edmund is a traitor and must be sacrificed at the Standing Stones. Aslan refuseed, instead going in his stead. In a rather harrowing scene which would likely upset a few kiddies, a hairless Aslan is sacrificed by Jadis on the stones. Around the corner, we heard a lion roar, revealing the Standing Stones were cracked in half and Aslan had been reborn a new. We passed through a gorge where Aslan and Jadis’ respective armies fought each other above and around us. We approached a looming mountain where Jadis’ icy fortress awaited us.
In her fort, full of petrified victims, Aslan, accompanied by Lucy and Susan, magically freed all of them, via some jawdropping special effects akin to seeing stone come to life. Luckily for us, Jadis was defeated (or at least implied) by Aslan. In a final scene, the four Pensieve children were declared the new kings and queens of Narnia, sitting on the thrones we saw at the beginning. Aslan bid us farewell as we returned to the loading bay.
Outside the ride,
Mr. Tumnus’ Lamplight Luncheon is based underground within Tumnus’ homely home. The menu was small, offering sandwiches, pastries, and traditional English meals. Its cousin is the
Narnian Wood Shop, a shop run by the Beavers, who have created many works of art from wood and timber. Plenty of Narnia merchandise can be found here.
While this Narnia area was small and only contains one attraction, its immersive theming was like a work of art, beautiful and easy to get lost in, on a level which could give Disney Imagineering a run for their money. And just like the Pensieve children finding their way back home, we did as well, through an exit in the form of another wardrobe on the side of the manorhouse.
Onward we went into the realm of Roald Dahl, author of
Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and
The Witches. This subland is relatively small, only with two small attractions, but there is room for further additions. The setting resembles a small urban neighbourhood, though everything from the fences to the steeples of a nearby schoolhouse are a slightly crooked in a whimsical way.
It was a little hard to miss the
Giant Peach in the middle of the woods, but was quite the sight. While no way near as huge as Spaceship Earth, the peach, obviously from
James and the Giant Peach, was big enough to house an exploratory walkthrough, and hide the entrance way to the delightfully weird
Strange and Scrumptious Restaurant, based “within” the peach’s core, where James’ insect friends set up a restaurant. The menu raised some eyebrows, with such options like “Earwigs Slime Supreme” and “Mosquitoes-on-Toast”. But, thankfully (and luckily), it was no Bush Tucker Trial, and the food was a mix of European cuisine with clever twists on them.
The other attraction is
Matilda’s Mischievous Adventure, based on the book of the same name, though there was some inspiration from the beloved 1990s film. A suspended dark ride set in the schoolhouse, we boarded perhaps the most unexpected vehicles of all – giant paper airplanes, that appeared to soar through the scenes with no sign of suspension. The mechanics may have been beneath, or this was so sort of unique use of the KUKA technology. Each scene followed the events of the book, Matilda using her psychic powers to cause some mischief for her parents, and the tyrannical Ms. Trunchbull. Each scene was filled with eye-popping special effects, such as a room with a floating jug of water spilling down on us but with no ill effect, and school desks flying across the room on their own accord.
Next door to the attraction lies
Miss Honey’s Sweet Café, set in a lovely, thatched roof English cottage. This small location was just about everyone’s cup of tea so to speak,
@D Hindley practically screaming when tea and scones were served. The restaurant also sold products related to Dahl’s characters, including original Alton Towers-branded honey, marmalade and jam products.
On the edge of the path, perhaps serving as a foundation for future expansion, sits the
Scrumdidlyumptious Shop, a turn-of-the-century sweet shop, selling Wonka Bars, unstoppable gobstoppers, and other delicious chocolate and candy.
The final stop in the Fabled Forest is based on the timeless works of Beatrix Potter. Still scarred by the monstrous Sony movie that butchered the image of Peter Rabbit and friends, some of us were dubious to how well Miss Potter’s characters would adapt to the theme park business. To our joy and content, there were no farting animals to be found here.
Peter Rabbit’s Neighbourhood is home to the collective animal friends from Beatrix Potter’s wonderful books. Huge burrows resembling cottages, a frog’s equivalent of a lake, and other nooks and crannies decorated this countryside community. Serene hillocks and enormous trees that had stood in the park for years helped to make this place feel real, and that we were a part of it. Everything looked like it had stepped out of Beatrix Potter’s books. Like a British version of Critter Country! If anyone wanted to get on the next train to the Lake District, they’d have to do it after our fight against Team L.A.N.D. was over!
The anchor of this area is
Peter Rabbit’s Carrot Caper, a fast-paced fun trackless dark ride, adapting
The Tale of Peter Rabbit into an attraction that had us racing around a giant vegetable patch in carrots. We travelled into a giant rabbit burrow, following the queue line through the home of Peter Rabbit, his mother, and sisters Mopsy, Flopsy, and Cottontail. Hopping aboard into giant carrots – heh, heh, hopping – we set off to follow Peter on his daring but foolish adventure into Mr. McGregor’s garden.
The use of LED screens, map paintings, and forced perspective made the garden look more larger than it is, as do all the huge props, tools, and vegetables. From our point of view, Peter was around our size, and Mr. McGregor, when he appears, was even bigger! Under the garden fence we went, seeing Peter chowing down on carrots and lettuce, watched by a curious robin. But, soon enough, he (and we) ran foul of Mr. McGregor, causing us to flee through the garden, under shovels and through watering cans. Peter hid in the greenhouse, under flower pots, where Mr. McGregor searches. He nearly lifted our pot up, nearly taking our moving carrot right off the ground.
Losing his clothes to a scarecrow, Peter evaded Mr. McGregor and his sinister, silent white cat, gaining help from excited sparrows and a mouse, guiding Peter and us back out of the garden to safety. Whilst we get away safely, poor Peter is left to face the wrath and chamomile tea of his mother. Better luck next time, Peter.
After Peter Rabbit's Carrot Caper, the Beatrix Potter theming continued with a nearby attraction called
Jeremy Fisher's Lilypad Splash. It was a lot of fun, very similar to Aquatopia at Tokyo DisneySea. You sit in a lilypad and manoeuvre around a large pond. In the centre of the pond was an animatronic of Jeremy Fisher himself, fishing. There were also some animatronic fish scattered about the pond, poking their heads out of the water every so often. The giant reeds, cattails and water lilies (some of which doubled as fountains) surrounding the attraction really helped to sell the idea that we were the size of a frog. I was pretty worried that I might get wet, but I managed to get off the ride dry as a bone.
One remnant of CBeebies Land remained, moved across the land and given a new coat of paint and purpose.
Squirrel Nutkin Treetop Trail is a rehashed Get-Set-Go Treetop Adventure, still sporting the gentle railway treetop journey, though with the vehicles now redesigned to resemble acorns. Static models of Squirrel Nutkin and other characters were placed in the tree branches. While not as elaborate as the other attractions, the reimagining of the old ride was a good choice.
Mrs. Tiggywinkle’s Parlour served as the lone shop/restaurant in the subland, remind some of our Tokyo Disneyland veterans of Grandma Sara’s Kitchen. The motherly hedgehog welcomes guests into her own bakery and shop, selling mostly clothes, but also a variety of tasty snacks and jammed food.
To be continued!!