All right, let me take a crack at this...
The Carousel of Progress, Featuring the Characters From Family Guy
John and his family have been evicted. And so has the whole "how things keep progressing with each decade" storyline. Now the Carousel of Progress is an audio-animatronic recreation of a Family Guy episode, complete with cutaway gags, immature insults at religion and celebrities that Seth MacFarlane hates, and a few songs that drag the show out!
Yeah, as you might have guessed I'm terrified at the idea of Family Guy winding up in the parks.
Foster's Journey Into Imagination With Figment and Bloo
Figment teams up with the cast of Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends.
It's an Incredibly Small World
It's a Small World, except it's now much faster. So fast, in fact, that the ride is only five seconds long. The idea being that the world is so small that it only takes five seconds to visit all the different countries.
The Country Bear Jamboree - Now Presented By Charmin
Literally every song in the show is about toilet paper.
The Great Moo-vie Ride
A journey through the magical world of movies... with scenes from several different movies reenacted by cows. Films highlighted in the attraction include Hooflight Parade, Moo-ry Poppins, and The Wizard of Ox.
Frozen Forever After
Pretty much Frozen Ever After, except the ride doesn't let you off until you've went through it for TWENTY-FOUR HOURS.
Fozzie's Jungle Cruise
The Jungle Cruise, except your skipper is Fozzie Bear. Literally every boat has a Fozzie Bear animatronic at the front, and in the back are animatronics of Statler and Waldorf heckling him.
Actually, I take that back. That would actually make for a great ride!
