First of all, thank you for your service in the military. I would STRONGLY recommend you get out and experience some American craft beer. If I may... I'd like to point you in a direction to help get your started. Americans love IPAs (these days, especially New England style, which are more "juicy" and not quite so bitter). But there are many, many options if IPAs aren't your thing.
Stella, Heineken and Carlsberg are all considered "European Pale Lagers" (Harp, Peroni, and Grolsch are other examples). If you're comparing these beers to the most popular American beers ("American Adjunct Lagers" like Bud, Bud Light, Miller Lite, etc - called "Adjuncts" because they contain things like rice and corn which I agree do not belong in beer), then I would agree the European beer is better but you are comparing weak beers to even weaker beers (and if that's what you like, enjoy... but don't judge "American beer" on that watery stuff).
If you don't like the bitterness of IPAs, maybe explore the German Helles Lager category - you mentioned Hofbrau, Paulaner (also Weihenstephaner) they all make classic German Helles lagers. But American craft beer has jumped on board with this too - look for Victory Helles Lager (Victory Brewing, PA), Hell Lager (Surly Brewing, MN), Hotter Than Helles Lager (Cigar City Brewing, FL), or Firestone Lager (Firestone Walker Brewing, CA). These days you can probably find at least one of these beers at your local grocery store or beer distributor. You might even be able to create your own six-pack with a bunch of them. Then you can judge how good a job these American craft brewers have done at creating this traditionally European style (which frankly, sounds like a lot of fun... so I might try it too!)