disneydudette
Well-Known Member
:lol: :lol:
I have too...there not really jokes...kinda funny...
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all
eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while
a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried
grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel
qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"
For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10 speed
bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you
one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and
your mother just lost her job. There's no way
we can afford it.
The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading
out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked,
"Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told
him, "I was walking past your room last night and
I heard you tell Mom you were pulling out. I heard
her tell you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by
myself with an $80,000 mortgage, and no bike."
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down and saw her husband was holding a "pleasure device"...
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bum," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll
explain the toy... you explain the kids."
I have too...there not really jokes...kinda funny...
A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all
eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while
a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried
grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel
qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know sh*t?"
For his birthday Little Patrick asked for a 10 speed
bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you
one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and
your mother just lost her job. There's no way
we can afford it.
The next day the father saw Little Patrick heading
out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked,
"Son, where are you going?" Little Patrick told
him, "I was walking past your room last night and
I heard you tell Mom you were pulling out. I heard
her tell you to wait because she was coming too.
And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by
myself with an $80,000 mortgage, and no bike."
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down and saw her husband was holding a "pleasure device"...
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bum," she screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll
explain the toy... you explain the kids."
