Trip Report Phil getting swallowed by a shark is so September. It's time for a November Disney trip report!!!

NOTE - November 7, 2016 - For those of you just looking for the Disney portion of this trip report, it begins on Page 11. If you're looking for the Key West portion, begin on Page 5. PS - Original title of this thread was "Phil got swallowed by a Great White Shark - it's time to go back!"

NOTE - September 9, 2016 - For those of you who don't feel like scrolling through the "pre-trip report" stuff, I totally get it and the Key West portion of the actual trip begins on Page Five. The Disney Old Key West portion will begin in November. :) I'll give the page that starts on too. Now back to your regularly scheduled pre-trip report for those who want to read all of the posts.
***************************************************************************

Well, not exactly.

Or should I say, not yet.

Or should I say, Phil is actually the Great White Shark.

Ummm.... what exactly am I saying here, or trying to say, totally unsuccessfully?

Well, here goes.

For those of you who don't chat with us on the Chit Chat Thread, and damn you to all of you who don't (kidding! - come chat!), you will not really know how anti-Disney my partner Phil has been toward Disney since our last trip, which was last June. I'm not going to mince words - he has basically been a total jerk. Every time I bring up going back to Disney, he does something very similar to this:



The last time I brought it up, he said, and I quote, "I would rather be waterboarded than go back there!!!"

That can be arranged, is what I was thinking.

But wait! How can he possibly hate it so much when he acts like he loves it when he is there?? Your honor, I present to you the following evidence:

Biergarten.JPG

And this (if he's a little less happy here it's just cause there is no drink in his paw. :hungover:

Mexico.JPG


And this!

Boardwalk Villa.JPG


And this!!

Spoons.JPG


I could keep going all night, but you get the idea. I find him guilty of secretly liking Disney - at least once he gets there. This is not a tortured, miserable soul at a Disney park. He is having fun. So why all the pushback for going back?

Well, let me quote once again:

"I don't know why we have to go there all the time when there all all sorts of other places to go to!!!!"

Okay. Point taken. I didn't bring it up again for a while.

Then, a series of unfortunate events happened in very quick order, or actually just two that felt like a lot:

I got downsized (that means fired, due to budget cutbacks) from a job I had held for 19 years.Here is what was my incredible office:

Office 4.JPG


And then, soon after, our little cat, Spooky, started screaming in the middle of the night and we ran downstairs to find out what was going on, and the back half of him was paralyzed and cold. He wouldn't stop screaming. We rushed him as fast as possible to a 24-7 animal hospital and they told us that he had a sudden blood clot that had burst and paralyzed him and there was a 99.9% chance that there was no hope. We were basically forced to put Spooky to sleep. :(

Spooky hockey.JPG

Spooky snow.JPG
Spooky tub.JPG

The tears flowed like the River Jordan.

Yeah, it's been a rough patch folks.

But on the good news side, my contract got picked up by one of my previous job's competitors, and I was only out of work for 2 weeks. On the other hand, nothing can replace a sweet cat that didn't deserve to go in such a violent way. Where am I going with this?

Oh yes, that's right. You see, from my previous job, I got a small, but to me, significant severance package. People I tell about it laugh and say it's nothing, but to me, who has lived from paycheck to paycheck my entire life, I finally have money in the bank ---- but not for long if I have anything to say about it, dammit!!

This is my very long and meandering way of saying that I finally convinced Phil to go back to Disney, but only because I surprised him by telling him that for his birthday (on September 15), I was taking him to Key West. We've never been, and assuming that he does not get swallowed by the great white shark in the title of this thread, we are then doing a Key West-a-Palooza and we are going to be staying at Old Key West from November 1 - 4 for Food and Wine Festival.

Look! I themed our Fall! :)

I feel like this resort is totally out of the way of everything, but when I looked at the 25% discount offer that they currently have, I was able to book a one bedroom villa (!!!!) at Old Key West for $150.00 less than it would have been to book a standard room at the Contemporary. It was kind of like an offer I could not refuse.

Yeah, so three nights is basically just a tease, but as I told my pals on the Chit Chat thread (and again, why aren't the rest of you having fun there too??) , I'm going to use this as an excuse to demand a new trip for 2017. ;) And since the Philmonster is bound to throw a fit about that, I am going to search out that Bounce Back Offer as soon as I get to the room. :) If you want, I'll post the details/pics of the Key West trip in September prior to the November trip to the World.

Hope you are all having a great summer.

:D
 
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MinnieM123

Premium Member
Okay, it's time for a whole bunch of crazy shenanigans! I'm going to start posting the Key West portion of this trip report later tonight, so buckle up for safety.

There will be roosters. There will be drag queens. There will be a badly skinned knee. There will be 16 million bikers. There will be jellyfish, barracudas, and one giant iguana. And it goes without saying that there will be enough booze to kill a pack of wild elephants.

Back to ya soon with every gory detail!

;)

:hilarious: Oh this should be GOOD . . . .
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
DRUMROLL PLEASE!! THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART ONE

Okay, okay, so let's not pretend that this trip report is going to be anything other than a couple of insane lunatics standing around with drinks in their hands, but if you're into that, I welcome you to join along on a trip to the mysterious island of Key West, Florida!

A little over a month from now, you get the good part - when we go to Old Key West at Disney, but for now, you'll just have to settle for a trip to the real Key West, which started at JFK in NYC, and here is a very boring picture of our plane, designed specifically to put you to sleep because it is so boring:

Plane to Fort Lauderdale.JPG


And if that is not bad enough, here is the tiny little puddle jumper that we transferred to in Fort Lauderdale - We booked JetBlue, but apparently, you have to take something called Silver Airways from Fort Lauderdale to Key West:
Sliver plane to Key west.JPG

This thing was tiny and was held together with rubber bands and paper clips. It is the scariest plane I have been on in my entire life. It dove. It dipped. It wobbled wildly from side to side. But luckily it also landed. And this little cup of courage before we took off helped quite a bit.

First beeer of vacation.JPG


Phil wasn't having it, however. The second flight had been delayed just a bit, and he was feeding attitude.
mad phil.JPG


Shudder. That's the look that I get each and every time I mention that I want to go back to Disney, just fyi.

But annnnnnyway.............eventually, we were off, and as previously mentioned, the plane was flailing all over the sky like Dorothy's house in the Wizard of Oz. I later looked Silver Airways up on Yelp, and they have One Star - https://www.yelp.com/biz/silver-airways-fort-lauderdale

Oh, did I mention that there were only four passengers on the entire plane? NO? Well, there were only four passengers on the entire plane. So I guess if we had been sucked into some vortex and plummeted into a pit in the Everglades, we would barely have even made the six o'clock news.

There was absolutely nothing to do on this flight except sweat profusely and pray for your life, so I did a little photo shoot, so please to enjoy my above the clouds series - first is Ft. Lauderdale - second is over the Everglades, and third is just over Key West:

Over lauderdale.JPG
Over everglades.JPG

Over Key West.JPG

And then, with a lot of sputtering, diving, swaying and basically having four passengers read their last wills and testaments, we finally landed in the smallest airport I have ever seen. They basically dump you out of the plAne in the middle of the runway and then you walk to the terminal. Here is the door that we walked into on landing -Whoo - hoo - we are here!!!!!!:

Welcome to Conch Republic.JPG


PS - If it wasn't already clear, those "people" on the roof are just statues. But it was all very cool. I've posted all the pics I can in this post, so back to you in a few minutes with part two.PS - That is Phil heading into the airport. ;)
 
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Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
Ha! Don't you love it when the pilot tells you, "You sit over there, and you sit on the other side, and you sit over there...so the weight on the plane is balanced." (And then you see them adjust their rear view mirror?!?

I was on one of those little planes ONCE. My car died in the Sarasota area, and I had to fly back to Fort Lauderdale. (I'm from NJ, 12 miles from NYC.) I was *terrified* the whole flight. THREE people were on that plane (so how could it possibly be balanced?!?) How could there be no co-pilot? What if the pilot has a heart attack?!

omg.

So, we drive to Key West (from Fort Lauderdale, where we live.) So next time, fly to Fort Lauderdale, and we'll all drive down together. (it's four hours, but very scenic, but still four hours.) But Phil can't make that face.

Carry on!
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART TWO

Okay so here is the part where I decided that I was in love with this city.

We walked into this tiny little airport, and there was a beach bar right next to the baggage claim area!

Bar in Baggage Claim.JPG


Honey, I'm home!

They basically put a rum punch into my hand as soon as I got off the plane and the cab driver welcomed us into his car and said "bring it" when we were about to toss it. What is this magical place? Maybe they have mousekeeping too?? Ahhhhh!!!

Anyway, the driver sped us an entire ten minutes across the island to the Southernmost Beach Resort. It was a really cloudy afternoon, but even that can't mask how amazing this hotel looks:

Southernmost from Water.JPG


We checked in and went to the room, and here for your viewing pleasure is a room tour of room 526 of Southernmost Beach Resort - full disclaimer - I actually filmed this on the fourth day, which is why the pillows on the bed are a little discombobulated, etc. But I think this is as good a place as any to stick this. Please to enjoy this short film by Steven Spielberg - yeah right -



Anyway, after we checked out the room, we went out and looked at some of the grounds of the hotel. They have a pier that goes all the way into the ocean and you can sunbathe there, so long as there is not hurricane, and Phil decided to do this:

Southernmost pier.JPG

It was pretty stormy weather the first day we were there, as you can see.

So we decided to head on over to Duval Street.

On our way there, we found a booth for Fury, which is the number one or number two (I think number one, but who knows) ocean activities company in Key West and we bought two cruises: One - for Wednesday - the afternoon Rum and Reggae Snorkeling Cruise (this could not possibly go wrong in any way, right?) and second, for Phil's birthday on Thursday the 15th, something called Commotion on the Ocean Sunset Cruise. I actually think the name of that cruise should be my middle name.

More on all of that later, but now we have to go venture down Duval Street a bit, and here are a few things that happened. First thing we did when going to a unique town where we had never been before was go to a chain bar, Fat Tuesday. Yeah, that's right, we're idiots:

Fat Buddy.JPG

Fat Phil.JPG

Fat cup.JPG

I don't know what Phil was having, but I was drinking the 190 Octane, and in case you don't remember, the last time I messed around with one of these, I got locked out of the room - in style - ;)

But before it could come to that, we realized that we needed food. It had been a late arrival to Key West and by this point it was almost 10PM. I know it seems like Key West is a place open at all hours, but these first few days, they kind of rolled up their sidewalks by 11PM. Apparently, most of September is dead there. But that will change unexpectedly by the end of the week.

We were having a hard time finding a place that would take us other than Denny's - yes - there is a Denny's on Duval Street - more on that later - but finally we found Pinchers, which is some sort of crab shack.

Now is a good time for me to tell you that I am not a fan of seafood. In fact, I really hate it. I don't want to get into the psychological reasons why, although it probably has to do with my insane stepfather pulling a Mommie Dearest when I was a kid and forcing me to eat fish for breakfast when I wouldnt finish it for dinner. And for anyone who doesn't know what Mommie Dearest is, please to suffer through the following:



But annnnnnnywayyyyyyyy...............

Here are a few pics of Phil and I at this crazy Pinchers crab shack, at the end of the night, at the end of the world.

Pinchers Phil.JPG
Pinchers Buddy.JPG


Tomorrow, things get real interesting with a snorkel dive in the middle of the ocean, lots of jellyfish, and let's see what happened when we took the very awesome @tonythetigger 's advice to go to Blue Heaven. Fast answer - it didn't work out at all, but that's not Tony's fault.

More tomorrow.

:)
 

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BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Ha! Don't you love it when the pilot tells you, "You sit over there, and you sit on the other side, and you sit over there...so the weight on the plane is balanced." (And then you see them adjust their rear view mirror?!?

I was on one of those little planes ONCE. My car died in the Sarasota area, and I had to fly back to Fort Lauderdale. (I'm from NJ, 12 miles from NYC.) I was *terrified* the whole flight. THREE people were on that plane (so how could it possibly be balanced?!?) How could there be no co-pilot? What if the pilot has a heart attack?!

omg.

So, we drive to Key West (from Fort Lauderdale, where we live.) So next time, fly to Fort Lauderdale, and we'll all drive down together. (it's four hours, but very scenic, but still four hours.) But Phil can't make that face.

Carry on!
That would be awesome, but honestly, 45 minutes of terror versus 4 hours of sitting in traffic - I don't know what wins.

;)

You better be getting ready for a great time tomorrow!
 

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
Hello @BuddyThomas !! Sadly, I have been out of the Chit Chat thread for quite some time. Both work and real life have cut me out of much WDWMagic time anymore. My real heyday was in the old Bob Saget thraed...thanks, though to @Tuvalu for remembering my love of Old Key West and tagging me to get me here!

First of all, congratulations on your trip and OKW will be a great home base for some Food and Wine time. My family (self, @MeffysMom and the obvious, Meffy) have easily spent a couple months there over the past 10 years. It's absolutely wonderful. While it may look out of the way, it is really about the most central you can be to everything...BUT, it is also quiet and to my mind more relaxed than just about any resort (and we've stayed in almost all of them).

Transportation - You are 15-20 minutes bus ride to Epcot and Studios even from the most remote rooms (10 minutes by car) and only 25 to Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom. And those are max bus times unless you are stuck waiting for one for a bit. We always take a car because we drive 900 miles to the world each time. It's also just as convenient to Pleasure Island (Downtown...Springs...whatever) and the boat ride over there is again about 15 minutes (only goes every half hour, though) and a personal relaxed/now-we-are-at-Disney moment.

Food - While the restaurant doesn't get nearly the PR that it deserves, the food is great. The quick service is nothing special but does the job that they all do - somewhat fast, edible stuff. The real treat here, though, is the very small, but AWESOME bar. The Gurgling Suitcase doesn't look like much, but the staff is great and the fact that you are in a bar, but open to the pool area at the same time...priceless. Roberto and Ken are both awesome bartenders and you can always name drop that the folks who bring them cupcakes told you to stop in.

Other stuff - Three pools around the resort. None of which are ever too crowded. Check-in lobby is also pretty calm most of the time and the gift shop/mini grocery is about the same as any resort, but again usually quiet. To us, the best parts are the BIG ROOMS (biggest on site and you can really tell) and the relaxed vibe. You still feel like you are in the Disney bubble, but MUCH less intense.

Let me know if you have any more questions. I'll make sure to check back regularly and I apologize if some of this was already in other messages...I'll be honest, I didn't read everything. ;)
As someone who rented points at Old Key West, I agree with all this.
Old Key West is definitively one of these resorts that feel calm and not for rushing.
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART THREE

So the next morning, I woke up, and I realized that I am getting too old for all of this debauchery and I called a cab to haul me straight to Betty Ford.

Errr, who am I kidding? I had the breakfast of champions instead!

Morning Marg.JPG

Actually, before my little morning margarita, Phil had found this really cool Cuban restaurant called Ana's that was within walking distance to our resort, and he had brought us cafe con leches, cheese toasts, and a really amazing fruit plate:

Ana's cuban cafe.jpg

Ana's menu.jpg

fruit salad.jpg


Amazing.

So after all of this, we headed out for a little pool time, which is where I got my morning (11:30 AM or so) margarita - hey - it's 5:00 somewhere! And vacation! So it's okay! Or something!

Right next to the resort pool was the beach. It was full of seaweed and rocks, but still awesome. And lots of people went wayyy out into the ocean because the water remained shallow until far out:

Seaweed beach.JPG

Swimmers.JPG

Phil and I had grabbed two chairs by the pool and were basically just relaxing (translation - I was already bored - where's Space Mountain?!?!) Here is Phil, just passed:

Suntan phil.JPG

Ya know, I could just, like, smother him to death now and then I'd never have to put up with his anti-Disney crap again. Unfortunately, I did not have a pillow handy. Kidding, kidding.

However, right behind him, I heard a rustling in a bush. Paid it no attention.

Then heard another rustling - louder - sort of violent.

I looked, and right behind Phil, in a bush, was this:

Iguanadon.JPG


Iguanadon.

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the ----?!?!?!?!

That lizard sat there and stared me down for a good couple of minutes before it leapt to the ground and scurried away under another bush.

Wild. Anything goes down here in Key West. And we'll get some more anything goes in the next section.

:)
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART FOUR

I forgot to post this picture last night, but I just wanted to show you that there is our own private EPCOT ball right near our resort. Also, if you look really close in this picture, there is a bride and groom posing for photos wayy out there - go on, you can find them - it's like looking for a hidden Mickey but instead of Mickey, it's a very sweaty bride and groom:

Epcot bride.JPG


But that was last night. Today the weather was much better:

Palm trees at resort.JPG

Except hotttttttttt! So hottt! It was like a million degrees. I thought the ocean breezes were supposed to make everything okay. Nope. There was not a whisper of a breeze, and it was just as bad, if not worse than the thousand percent humidity trip we took to WDW in September 2013.

But we were getting hungry, so we decided to venture off the resort grounds and search for food.

@tonythe tigger had suggested a place called Blue Heaven, which is a pretty famous Key West restaurant where cats and roosters run around all over the place while you eat. I'm in!!

We figured out it was about a ten minute walk from our hotel, so we headed out. Within two minutes, we were both soaked in sweat. It was utterly disgusting out. No breeze. No air. Total humidity. 90+ degrees. Argh.

But luckily, we would be at Blue Heaven in a just a few minutes, right?

Well, hurray, we are finally arriving, and here is what greeted us:

Blue heaven closed.JPG

Closed?!?!?! Reopening October 15th?!?!?! What?!?!?!?

As you can see, I'm not as mellow as @tonythetigger about bad news. In his current trip, he has suffered broken cars, broken backs, and ridiculous storms and has kept his positive attitude. I was about to have a sweaty meltdown in front of the closed Blue Heaven, because it is kind of sort of in the middle of nowhere, if you can count anything on a 2 mile by 4 mile island in the middle of nowhere. ;) And actually this was just a few blocks off Duval. But the heat. The roasting, unrelenting heat.

Anyway, we just started walking randomly because I think we both had heatstroke, and we suddenly came across what seems to be a Blue Heaven ripoff - Blue Macaw!!!

Blue Macaw Phil.JPG


(Side note - It looks like Phil is wearing some kind of crazy hat, but that is actually connected to the wall.)

I noticed this sort of trend several times in Key West, where several establishments are trying to copy each other shamelessly. For example, there is a Fat Tuesday's rip off about a block away called Flying Monkey and they do the exact same gimmick of crazy strong frozen drinks in big plastic cups. They have all the Fat Tuesday's recipes but with different names. - http://fogartysofkeywest.com/flyingmonkeys/

This was clearly a rip off of Blue Heaven. Same set up. A few blocks away. Blue in the title. But anyway, they were open, and they had seats. In the melting heat. No indoor seats. No air conditioner.

I was not into a picture, but please enjoy Phil eating a hogfish sandwich -

Phil Hogfish.JPG


I was eating a chicken sandwich with french fries once again. That's what you get when you go to Key West if you don't like fish. One option on a menu - chicken and fries. I'm exaggerating of course, but not by much.

Anyway, did I forget to mention that we were on our way to a snorkeling tour called Rum and Reggae Snorkel and Sunset Cruise? Well, we were, and it was just about 90 minutes before check in. I'll get into that insanity in just a little bit.

:)
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
DRUMROLL PLEASE!! THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART FIVE

So would you like to go on a snorkeling cruise? Sounds fun, right?

Well, it's jellyfish season in Key West, which we did not know before purchasing $50.00 tickets (each) for the Rum and Reggae Snorkel and Sunset Cruise.

The boat looks a little something like this:

rum and reggae snorklers.jpe


They take you 8 miles off the coast and dump you into the water for an hour, and then on the way back, they give you unlimited rum punches, set to Reggae music. Hey, you know me. They had me at rum punch. And there's no way this could end badly, right? ;)

I was totally into this. But before we actually got to the pier, we passed this gigantic statue that I do not even know how it was built or why it exists, but I had to have my photo with it.

giants.JPG


Uh huh. No idea why that is there. But anyway, onward we go. Time to go get dumped into the middle of the ocean.

We boarded the boat along with about 40 other people, got our snorkeling instructions, were handed equipment and shown how to use it, all the while sailing wayyyyyyy out into the ocean.

As you can see, I was ready for an adventure:

fury buddy.JPG

That's just water in my hand by the way - they will not give out rum until after the snorkeling, go figure.

And then I put on the gear:

snorkel buddy.JPG


Yeah, yeah, I look like an absolute fool, but it's all for you. All for you!!!! LOL.

Anyway, we were all about to get dumped into the middle of the ocean. And all of a sudden the captain came on and told us that there was a heavy presence of jellyfish in the area. He said if we went into the water, it would be "the slowest game of dodge ball ever."

WHAT THE -----?!??!?!?!?!

I turned to complain to Phil, but he was already in the water, swimming out to the reef. Oh my God. I knew he was going to get stung by 17 jellyfish and that's a problem, because when Phil is not happy, no one is happy. But there he went - snorkeling out to sea. Hmmm, maybe he really will get swallowed by a great white shark.

Kidding. I kid the Phil monster.

So of the 40 people on the boat, about 30 were already in the water. I figured it was time for me to make my way in and play the slowest game of dodgeball with a bunch of evil jellyfish.

So I went to the staircase to the sea:

fury-sea-stairs.jpg


Okay, when I tell you that as soon as I got to the bottom stair, there were seven or eight people trying to scurry back up the stairs and they almost broke my neck, I am not even kidding.

I was like "What's going on?!" and they were like "Too many jellyfish and a giant barracuda!"

Errrrr........not good.

They scurried past me. I had the staircase to the sea all to myself.

Well.................why not?

I walked all the way to the bottom, dropped myself in, and this is exactly what I saw (these are not my photos by the way, but this is pretty much exactly what I saw):

Moon-Jellyfish-with-3-fish-inside-Key-West-FL.jpg

barracuda.jpg


Yup. That's it. I'm out.

A giant jellyfish on one side, and a giant barracuda just hovering in the water a few feet away.

My pale little butt was out of that water in two seconds flat.

I didn't even feel bad about it. I was mainly on this barge for the rum and reggae anyway, so I would just hang out with the rest of the chickens for a half hour or so, and then the party would get started. And I will have to start that particular party tomorrow because I need to get to bed for an early meeting tomorrow.

Have a good night everyone!

:)
 

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