Thank you, that sentiment means so much to me, especially now, I'm having a very hard time, especially with those sort of feelings, and that means so much.
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- Thread starter Beholder
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Thank you, that sentiment means so much to me, especially now, I'm having a very hard time, especially with those sort of feelings, and that means so much.
Goofyernmost
Well-Known Member
Feel free to express what ever you feel you need to express. Remember though how lucky you were to have someone that truly loved you and that you truly loved all those years. Those can never be taken away. Rejoice in them and keep all those happy memories locked in the easily reached accesses of your mind. They are priceless.
Thank you so much, and indeed I'm desperately clinging to every moment of our life together. And yes, those years and those times will never leave me and I'll see her every time I close my eyes. Thank you very much, it means the world
Please remember that we all grieve differently, and there is no right or wrong way. There is no time limit. It will hit you at the most unexpected time, even years from now, and you will be overcome. Don't think you "have to get over it" - you never will. The wound will always be there, and sometimes a song, a scent, or an event will open it again. It is perfectly normal.
You may hear her voice, or even catch a glimpse of her - that is also perfectly normal. People just don't mention it because it sounds crazy. It is not.
.
Don't let anyone tell you it's time to remove her things, etc. Keep them for as long as you like; even sleep with an item that still has her scent. Whatever brings YOU comfort is the right thing to do.
My heart goes out to you.
You may hear her voice, or even catch a glimpse of her - that is also perfectly normal. People just don't mention it because it sounds crazy. It is not.
.
Don't let anyone tell you it's time to remove her things, etc. Keep them for as long as you like; even sleep with an item that still has her scent. Whatever brings YOU comfort is the right thing to do.
My heart goes out to you.
Thank you. You touched me with the advice about sleeping with an item with her scent. She had a shirt she'd taken off earlier on the day she was taken to the ER, and it's on her pillow. I can still smell her hair and it's been a bitter sweet reminder of her. Your words, to me, someone who's essentially a stranger, means so much to me.
epcotisbest
Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost
Well-Known Member
Don't think of any of these people as strangers. They are merely friends that you haven't met with yet in a physical sense. In an emotional way... it's like we have known each other for years.
MinnieM123
Premium Member
Thanks, all of you. I've not exactly been able to get back here. Things are in that stage where, now that the funeral is over, family and friends have gone back to their lives (as they should), and I'm left with this vast landscape of my new reality. You guys are great, you each are treasures for your own families, whether they acknowledge it or not. Simply not having my wife, my one love, to listen to me whine, complain, go on about some ridiculous thing that made me happy, or just smile at me, is sorrow. You guys and gals have helped, reaching out is a great thing to do, thank you all, from myself and my daughter.
NYwdwfan
Well-Known Member
Hopefully we can offer you an escape when you need it. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Nemo14
Well-Known Member
It all takes time, and that hole in your heart will be there always, just don't let it define you for the rest of your life. Joe Biden had a marvelous quote that he said at the funeral for officer Sean Collier after the Boston bombing tragedy. "You know it's going to be OK when you pass a little league field or hear a song that reminds you of Sean ... when you get a smile to your lips before a tear comes to your eye." You too will be OK, Beholder. ((hug))
Thank you, you're absolutely right. Her passing won't define me by somehow forcing me to shut out the world and die. I feel like it at times, but I'm not quite wired that way. I'd rather her LIFE remain a positive influence on me, reminding me that life is, indeed, worth living. My daughter needs her dad more than ever, and I need her equally as much, maybe more. I had to move some of her clothes around today and it nearly crippled me, just seeing the things she wore and will never wear again. The last trip to WDW this past July, she'd picked up a Dumbo jersey style shirt that she loved, just looking at it was crushing. Thank you for the kind words and the hugs. It's needed and appreciated.
Nemo14
Well-Known Member
anytime...
wild01ride
Well-Known Member
Thoughts and prayers to you and your daughter today and always!
Thank you for sharing your message with us, for your urge to love those who are important to us and for your strength to put your thoughts and emotions into writing.
I have been exceedingly busy with travel and various obligations for especially the past year and your message really hit home for me. Beyond all of what seem like "important" obligations in life, I realize that I don't prioritize taking the time to love and to show my loved ones the love that they deserve on a routine basis. Reading your words, I realize that I need to make the true "important" things in life important to me!
While it's always hard to rely on a group of "strangers" on an online community, I've always found that there are a lot of great people here with a lot of love in their hearts and consideration for humankind.
Please know that your message has made an important impact on my heart and because of your love, other lives can be improved!
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your message with us, for your urge to love those who are important to us and for your strength to put your thoughts and emotions into writing.
I have been exceedingly busy with travel and various obligations for especially the past year and your message really hit home for me. Beyond all of what seem like "important" obligations in life, I realize that I don't prioritize taking the time to love and to show my loved ones the love that they deserve on a routine basis. Reading your words, I realize that I need to make the true "important" things in life important to me!
While it's always hard to rely on a group of "strangers" on an online community, I've always found that there are a lot of great people here with a lot of love in their hearts and consideration for humankind.
Please know that your message has made an important impact on my heart and because of your love, other lives can be improved!
Thank you!
Then it is I who owes you gratitude. Heeding my "advice" is enough, it was and is important for me to share that. If I've moved someone, just one person, to remind the people in their lives what they mean to them, then I've done something. Talking to people who have no "connection" with my wife or I has actually been a great help. Of course, I know that this particular community of like minded fans would be more receptive than perhaps most others. I suspected that anyone who loves and adores the "magic" of Disney the way we do would be a thoughtful and sincere group of individuals. Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts, but especially for acting on my heartfelt request for reaching out. It's been 23 days since my wife, Tracie, passed away, and I'd still give anything for just one more minute. Thank you, you're very kind.
Parrothead4life
Member
@Beholder you do not know me or have never met me on here as I joined the forum yesterday, but I read your post and it just touched my heart so much. I am so sorry for both you and your daughter and the rest of your family. As for grieving you have to do what is going to work for you. I can sit here and list of things I did when my Dad passed away when I was just a child and that may have no meaning at all to you. You have to find ways to cope each day and I truly mean each day. It may change each day as well as the grieving process will develop as time goes on. I will keep you and your daughter in my thoughts.
Disneyhead'71
Well-Known Member
@Beholder I was going to mention that terribly lonely time that happens when all the well wishers go back to their daily lives and the new reality settles in like a thick fog. But you still had loving friends around you and I thought I would let that comfort you until it ended and they had to go do what they do.
Well, here we are. The new reality. Reality bites! You will be wounded for the rest of your life. Nothing can repair the heart. But only you can determine if that wound is crippling. When all you want to do is lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling, go for a walk.
Now I'm going to say some stuff that could be seen as cold and insensitive.
Now is the time to take care of you. In the very near future, you need to take time to rediscover who you are. When people are in a long term partnership, we lose our individuality to become "a couple". Our identity becomes so intertwined with our partner. And that is the way it should be. But when that bond is shattered, it is sometimes difficult to rediscover who we are. You're the same guy that you were before, only better because of her. You need to find the new you. Do something that you have wanted to do for a long time but she wasn't interested in. It will feel like spite, when it's actually just therapy. You probably had a bunch of WDW memories, WDW will always be there. Go someplace.....new. This situation has opened up a lot of new opportunities that you never wanted. And yet, here we are
Well, here we are. The new reality. Reality bites! You will be wounded for the rest of your life. Nothing can repair the heart. But only you can determine if that wound is crippling. When all you want to do is lay on the floor and stare at the ceiling, go for a walk.
Now I'm going to say some stuff that could be seen as cold and insensitive.
Now is the time to take care of you. In the very near future, you need to take time to rediscover who you are. When people are in a long term partnership, we lose our individuality to become "a couple". Our identity becomes so intertwined with our partner. And that is the way it should be. But when that bond is shattered, it is sometimes difficult to rediscover who we are. You're the same guy that you were before, only better because of her. You need to find the new you. Do something that you have wanted to do for a long time but she wasn't interested in. It will feel like spite, when it's actually just therapy. You probably had a bunch of WDW memories, WDW will always be there. Go someplace.....new. This situation has opened up a lot of new opportunities that you never wanted. And yet, here we are
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Thank you. Indeed, grieving is a personal journey. My 20 year old daughter lost her mom, I don't know what that feels like, my mother in law lost a daughter, I don't what that feels like it what my wife's sister is going through. Only I know how I feel, how I'll cope, what I'm comfortable with, what I'm "ready" for. Everyday strikes me in a different way, intense one moment, manageable the next. You're kind to think of me, thank you so very much
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Not cold nor insensitive, it's comes from concern, and that's a good thing. You're right of course, doing things without her or enjoying new things will happen, it's inevitable. Our marriage had gone through many transitions, each had strengthened our bond, our absolute love for one another. I had "grieved" for the loss of certain aspects of our marriage, but they were just all part of the vows we took. I love backroads, I love "exploring" off the beaten path, so I imagine that'll be the therapy I'll seek. I'm the "journey, not the destination" kind of guy, so I'll go somewhere perhaps not familiar. I'll miss her forever, I'll cherish the love and life we have/had, but I won't allow her passing to define me by making me fade away. Instead, her life inspired me, made me the man I am now, so I'll choose to accept the lessons she taught me. Her battle with her "demons", her daily suffering, her misery, all those things, it wasn't enough to stop her from fighting. Everyday of her life was a victory, so I think I'll let go of complaining about trivial matters. Loneliness and grief are demons of great power, but I'll beat them. Thank you so much for your candor, your willingness to share sound advice with me.