The Jungle Cruise
The Jungle Cruise is a movie that is roughly based on the attraction of the same name, following the sequence of the ride events in the Magic Kingdom very closely. The major difference in storytelling is that the setting takes place in one unidentified jungle. Since the jungle houses many different types of animals and cultural elements from around the world, it is never explicitly said where the jungle is located, as it is not really important to the story. The story follows the story of Michael, who is a skipper who just graduated from “skipper school” and is excited to begin his career as a skipper at the Jungle Navigation Co, just like his parents. He meets a strange Professor and his beautiful assistant Kate (along with her brother, Bo and their body guard Mark Marksman) who are attempting to go on an expedition to discover the long-lost idol of Sher-Li, but are denied by the head of the Jungle Navigation Co, Admiral Goff. Michael steals a set of boat keys and lies to Kate and the Professor, telling them that the Admiral changed his mind. They set off into the jungle, facing the events of the ride (in a much more dramatic way) until the climax of the tale when they reach the Sher-Li Temple. The move is an adventure comedy and is full of homages to the ride and the creators. Many of the little jokes are not verbally included, but some characters may crack a pun or two from the ride. Generally speaking, the movie is a lighthearted love letter to classic action movies like the Mummy with comedy and gags throughout.
Director: Guillermo Del Toro
I chose Mr. Del Toro because he does wonderful things with practical effects and creates wonderful, mystical worlds in such a beautiful way. The world of Jungle Cruise isn’t really set in reality, so someone who does a good job of capturing that style and who knows how to add some tasteful humor (see Hellboy films) is perfect.
Composer: Michael Giacchino
His work on Lost, Up, Star Trek, and more are enough to qualify him to do great justice to the film.
Cast:
Professor Dr. Von Schneider-Weissenburger III - Steven Fry
“The Professor” is a tall, stocky man with a thick German accent, so thick in fact, that you cannot always make out what he is saying. He is the brains behind the expedition. His role is mostly for comedic effect, as you can barely make out what he is saying. He tries to warn the crew about a waterfall (when they are all arguing about something), but no one can understand him, as he screams: “Watufol!” Eventually, he screams: “Bloody Waterfall!” (in a perfect Steven Fry English accent) and Michael manages to move the boat in time.
Skipper Michael – Grant Gustin
Michael is one of the main characters of the film. It is his first day as a skipper at the Jungle Navigation Co. He overhears the plight of Kate and the Professor and lies to them about the Admiral changing his mind. He helps them steal a boat (without their knowledge) and accompanies them on their journey. Michael explains to Kate later that he helped her and the Professor because he saw a symbol on a book she was holding which matches the symbol on an amulet his parents gave to him before they got lost in the jungle.
Kate Evans – Haylee Atwell
Kate is the strong, beautiful archeologist and student of the Professor. She is usually the reason things happen during the story and helps move things along. She is obviously the most responsible person on the expedition. She is Michael’s love interest throughout the movie, but the love story is kept muted and is tasteful. Much more important to her character is that she helps Michael gain his confidence as a skipper and teaches him things about the history of the jungle. She is the real hero of the film, and saves Michael and Bo a few times from danger. Her name is homage to Bill Evans.
Bo Evans – Ty Simpkins
Bo is Kate’s little brother (about 10-11). He usually has his nose in a book about dragons or monsters, but he is basically an encyclopedia of knowledge about the jungle. He is never too far from Kate and tries to get in the way of Michael’s affections for Kate. He eventually warms up to Michael. He has several catchphrases, one of which includes the mentioning of “Jungle Fever” whenever someone starts to get frustrated or act strange.
“Never Misses His” Mark Marksman – Mark Strong
Mark Marksman is the mustachioed, English, gentleman hunter (think a less evil Clayton) who is incredibly talented and surprisingly extremely capable. He was hired by Kate and the Professor to escort them through the jungle. The only problem is that he is a narcoleptic and is asleep for most of the adventure. He will wake up during key moments to make a joke or do something important, but in dire times, he may be asleep. His name is homage to Mark Davis.
“Ahontas” – Idris Elba
“Ahontas” is the given name to a large, silent man who works the engine. Throughout the tale, he is largely the muscle that fights off large threats, like the giant snake and crocodiles in lieu of the sleeping Mark Marksman. He remains silent throughout the film, and only speaks towards the end of the movie, which is a surprise to the crew.
Rusty – Andy Serkis
Rusty is another member of the crew who serves as cook and general handyman. He’s a scrawny, older man with a gruff look. He is a terrible cook and it doesn’t seem like he knows how to do much of anything except scare Michael with horrifying tales of exploits in the jungle, most of which are probably not true. He never leaves the boat.
Admiral Goff – Geoffrey Rush
Admiral Goff is a hearty, old sea dog who has seen his fair share. He is missing a hand and an eye, which he claims were traded to a parrot for eternal life. He is reluctant to let the expedition happen, but does nothing to stop Michael once he steals the Congo Queen (the boat). He shows up at the end with several other skippers, ready to rescue the crew. When Michael tries to hand him his skipper’s license, he laughs and winks, and then walks away, as if nothing happened. His name is homage to Harper Goff.
Skipper Jacques – Zach Braff
Skipper Jacqueline – Kristen Schaal
Skippers Jacques and Jacqueline are cameo roles. They are skippers from other boats whose boats were sunk by a charging hippo. They join the crew temporarily and help them get past the Hippos. However, they are incredibly annoying characters who always correct Michael and even go so far as to attempt to take over the boat. They knock out Ahontas and since Mark Marksman is asleep, they manage to steal the gun and boat from Michael. It becomes clear that they have been driven crazy by the jungle (little Bo gasps and reminds us of “Juuunngle Feeeever”). They take the boat into the forbidden Sher-Li Temple, because they hear it is a shortcut back to the Jungle Navigation Co. HQ. When the crew is attacked by bats in the Sher-li Temple, they flee into the temple, taking the bats with them. You hear their screams drowned out by a tiger’s roar. You meet up with them at the very end of the movie, however, their clothes torn and tattered. They are seen passed out in Admiral Goff’s rescue boat.
Tribal Leader – Eddie Murphy
Tribesman #1 – Charlie Murphy
Tribesman #2 – Terry Crews
The Tribal Leader role is also a cameo, along with the Tribesman #1 and 2. When the team is ambushed and captured, the rest of the tribe chants incoherent nonsense and appear to be cannibals. The team is tied up and moved to an ominous cliff and the Tribal Leader comes out with a big ceremonial mask. He makes loud declarations in gibberish and grunts a few times. He is about to give the signal to doom the crew to being tossed into a stream of hungry piranhas when he recognizes “Ahontas” and removes his mask, revealing to the audience that he is Eddie Murphy. It turns out that Ahontas is his long-lost son. They talk in perfect, American English. You find out that the “tribe” is really the remnants of a jazz band that were stranded by their crashed plane. They have been living in the jungle for years and became accustomed to the life, so they pretended to be a cannibal tribe to keep the Jungle Navigation Co. away. The Leader embraces “Ahontas,” calling him his little Pokey.
Trader Sam – Ben Kingsley
Trader Sam is mentioned throughout the movie as a legend. The gist of his tale is that he was raised by crocodiles and fed a diet of poisonous snakes. He became a voodoo master after finding the long lost treasure of the Yensid People. Bo and Walt tell the story: “With his magic, he will shrink your head and steal it right from your shoulders.” It turns out the Trader Sam is actually a really nice guy who just wants to help. He doesn’t ever speak, but saves Michael and Kate from the spiders in the Sher-Li temple and takes Michael’s amulet in exchange for a can of fuel. He is seen in “hallucinations” by Michael throughout the movie.
Albert Awol – voice of Conan O’Brien
His voice is heard throughout the film, in vocal cameos, giving tidbits about the weather, animals, boat sinkings, cannibal attacks, and more. You never actually meet the character, but his vocal musings are found throughout the film.
I had so much more to write but it’s so very late and this submission is late. The internet connection in this hotel room is so shoddy. Sorry this one couldn’t be better.