My son will be 5 in May and he is still in that stage of carrying around his favorite plush characters, which in this case are two Mickeys that we got for him last April on his first trip to WDW. One of them is a funky multicolored thing which I don't know WHY he picked out and the other is a Safari Mickey from Animal Kingdom. Anyway, he carries those two Mickeys with him almost everywhere. For the past few months, we have been going to church on Wednesday nights at my wife's home church, sitting in the same pew with her parents.
Well a couple Wednesdays ago, out of the blue, our son told my wife that Grandma said he can't take his Mickeys to church with him anymore because he is too old.
I don't think he is too old, but regardless of whether he is or isn't, my wife and I didn't appreciate her mother going behind our back (as we perceived it) and telling him something that is OUR decision to make, not hers. We felt she totally overstepped her bounds, and we made sure to tell our son that it's perfectly fine if he takes his Mickeys to church, as that is our decision to make and not Grandma's. Much to my dismay, we got to church that night to find that his Mickeys weren't with him. I asked him why and he said he forgot, but I had my suspicions that it was because he was obeying Grandma. I asked him about it to be sure, but he swore that he simply forgot. Either way, it bugged me to death that he didn't bring them, because I just KNEW that my mother in law would think that it was because of what she said and I didn't want her to have that satisfaction. So I swore that the following Wednesday (a few days ago) those Mickeys were coming to church come Hell or High Water, even if I had to play with them myself. :lol:
I had been assuring our son all week that he doesn't need to listen to Grandma on things like that, as WE are in charge of him when we go to church, not her, and that it is fine if he wants to bring his Mickeys. So he brought them, but I could feel my blood pressure rising when he tried to go sit next to her and she motioned for him to put his Mickeys back over at the end of the pew. So I just had him come back over to me where he could hold his Mickeys if he wanted. Then a bit later, around the time that they have the kids come up to get a cup to walk around and collect coins from the congregation, I saw her whispering something in his ear. Having a pretty good idea what she was saying to him, I made sure to reassure him that it was perfectly fine if he took his Mickeys up with him, as he was acting pretty hesitant about it. After church, I asked him what Grandma said, and he didn't want to tell me at first, but when I pressed him on it, he admitted that Grandma was telling him not to bring his Mickeys up with him to the "Childrens' March" as they call it. I again made sure to tell him that although he must obey Grandma at her house when she is watching him, she doesn't have the right to tell him what she was telling him and he doesn't have to listen to her in this case, as we are in charge of that and not her.
I've been stewing on it for the past week and a half since she initially told him that, waiting for the best time to say something about it. When I dropped the kids off at her house this morning to go to work, I gently brought up the subject and politely (at least I was trying to be polite, I hope I came across as such LOL) told her that I don't want her telling him that and that my wife and I have told him that it is perfectly okay if he brings his Mickeys to church. Her reply was "but none of the other kids do that", as if that makes any difference to me. I simply said, that's fine, but Michael can if he wants.
It just burns me to have her overstepping her bounds like that, when these are decisions for my wife and I to make about our kids. To be honest, I guess it burns me even more because these are souveniers from our Disney trip last year, which was his first ever trip, and it is very special to me to see him carrying those things around everywhere as a reminder of the special time we had. The way I see it is, he'll grow up fast enough as it is without us rushing him along and I want to enjoy every moment I can of that cute, innocent little boy stage and it angers me to see his grandma or anyone else, trying to take that away from us.
Sorry, I have to vent about it somewhere and I can't do it on facebook since there are too many people from that church on my facebook friends. So this is a good, safe place to vent about it without it being all over that church. LOL
Anyone else have trouble with grandparents overstepping their bounds like that, and what do you do about it?
Well a couple Wednesdays ago, out of the blue, our son told my wife that Grandma said he can't take his Mickeys to church with him anymore because he is too old.
I don't think he is too old, but regardless of whether he is or isn't, my wife and I didn't appreciate her mother going behind our back (as we perceived it) and telling him something that is OUR decision to make, not hers. We felt she totally overstepped her bounds, and we made sure to tell our son that it's perfectly fine if he takes his Mickeys to church, as that is our decision to make and not Grandma's. Much to my dismay, we got to church that night to find that his Mickeys weren't with him. I asked him why and he said he forgot, but I had my suspicions that it was because he was obeying Grandma. I asked him about it to be sure, but he swore that he simply forgot. Either way, it bugged me to death that he didn't bring them, because I just KNEW that my mother in law would think that it was because of what she said and I didn't want her to have that satisfaction. So I swore that the following Wednesday (a few days ago) those Mickeys were coming to church come Hell or High Water, even if I had to play with them myself. :lol:I had been assuring our son all week that he doesn't need to listen to Grandma on things like that, as WE are in charge of him when we go to church, not her, and that it is fine if he wants to bring his Mickeys. So he brought them, but I could feel my blood pressure rising when he tried to go sit next to her and she motioned for him to put his Mickeys back over at the end of the pew. So I just had him come back over to me where he could hold his Mickeys if he wanted. Then a bit later, around the time that they have the kids come up to get a cup to walk around and collect coins from the congregation, I saw her whispering something in his ear. Having a pretty good idea what she was saying to him, I made sure to reassure him that it was perfectly fine if he took his Mickeys up with him, as he was acting pretty hesitant about it. After church, I asked him what Grandma said, and he didn't want to tell me at first, but when I pressed him on it, he admitted that Grandma was telling him not to bring his Mickeys up with him to the "Childrens' March" as they call it. I again made sure to tell him that although he must obey Grandma at her house when she is watching him, she doesn't have the right to tell him what she was telling him and he doesn't have to listen to her in this case, as we are in charge of that and not her.
I've been stewing on it for the past week and a half since she initially told him that, waiting for the best time to say something about it. When I dropped the kids off at her house this morning to go to work, I gently brought up the subject and politely (at least I was trying to be polite, I hope I came across as such LOL) told her that I don't want her telling him that and that my wife and I have told him that it is perfectly okay if he brings his Mickeys to church. Her reply was "but none of the other kids do that", as if that makes any difference to me. I simply said, that's fine, but Michael can if he wants.
It just burns me to have her overstepping her bounds like that, when these are decisions for my wife and I to make about our kids. To be honest, I guess it burns me even more because these are souveniers from our Disney trip last year, which was his first ever trip, and it is very special to me to see him carrying those things around everywhere as a reminder of the special time we had. The way I see it is, he'll grow up fast enough as it is without us rushing him along and I want to enjoy every moment I can of that cute, innocent little boy stage and it angers me to see his grandma or anyone else, trying to take that away from us.
Sorry, I have to vent about it somewhere and I can't do it on facebook since there are too many people from that church on my facebook friends. So this is a good, safe place to vent about it without it being all over that church. LOL
Anyone else have trouble with grandparents overstepping their bounds like that, and what do you do about it?
