slappy magoo
Well-Known Member
Hey there hi there ho there WDWMagic-keteers. It's been a while. I tend to drop off the face of the earth when I don't have a trip planned, then start popping up more in the months leading up to a trip as I need more information and crave more Disney, and basically just have Disney at top-of-mind.
Anyway we got a trip planned soon and this time it's...different. Hate to admit it, but I'm just not feeling it the way I used to, for a myriad of reasons.
First of all, in February a few weeks after booking (a week in DVC Grand Floridian - in retrospect it feels like I was tempting fate), I lost my job. I'm not famous but the layoffs I was a part of made the news, and the kind of job I had is getting scarce, so I'm depressed and I'm scared and I can not concentrate on putting a trip together. And considering the last trip was 5 years ago, everything is different, from having to reserve days in parks to loss of fastpass to trying to figure out Genie+, to booking fewer restaurants due to the money crunch but also having less time to book them blah blah blah. I did get a bit of severance so we're not hurting...yet...but we're definitely trying to stretch the money we have because no matter what, whenever I get a new job, likely it's going to be a big reduction in income. I need to know how to plan but...I just can't focus on it.
But it gets better. And by better I mean worse.
A few weeks after I lost my job, my wife, "Slappette," almost lost hers. She got lucky with a lateral-ish move, new job and responsibilities but same place and income. But the change is still jarring and depressing because she feels the job she had, a job she loved, was not valued or appreciated. On top of that, to help stretch our income some more, she opted to tutor during the summer. So of course, I feel like garbage her summer plans are screwed. I know, we're a team, and I didn't give a crap when she wanted time off for the birth for each kid (she wound up taking 2 years off for the birth of "Slapperina" and "Slappetina," plus another year before "Slappetina" went into kindergarten). But I still feel like garbage.
And then my mom got sick. Well, she was sick for a while, fighting cancer off and on for years, but about a year ago she decided she didn't want any more treatments, just enjoy the time she had left. Which she did. But in Spring she started to need some in home hospice care, and end of June she let go. The grief comes in waves, along with relief she's now out of pain, along with guilt that we feel relief...anyone who ever lost someone this way probably recognizes the rollercoaster of suck.
And then there are all the little things everyone deals with in the course of your days. Occasional spats with my spouse. Kids fighting. Dog chewing furniture. But also, looking for work, but in line with what I've done. Not even getting a nibble, despite (at the risk of tooting my own horn) having been pretty good at what I've done, with a few awards under my belt. Still, nothing. And dealing with the grief. Car troubles. Kids wanting to go on adventures we might not be able to swing (Slapperina plays cello and has an opportunity to go to Austria to perform next year, we'll make it happen but it's not going to be without some sacrifices).
Oh, and it turns out last time we were there, Slapperina was a T1 diabetic, but hadn't been diagnosed yet. Which made some hard days when she felt "off" and sick but couldn't describe what she felt or why. We thought it was anxiety (which runs in the family), but it wasn't until a few months later we discovered what was going on with her. She's thriving, she's on a pump, we got DAS...AND she has an injured foot, so we had to get a scooter. She's feeling more than a little self conscious over needing so much extra TLC, she tends to compensate by trying to be a regular kid...but that usually results in her having meals and snacks that throws her blood sugar out of whack one way or the other. Slappette and I can count on one hand the nights over the past 5 years we got a full uninterrupted night's rest without either trying to give her sugar to bring her up, or plug away at insulin doses to bring her down. Or both. But we had been looking forward to the trip with a "forewarned is forearmed" attitude, we can anticipate problems with her and plan better. But then came everything else.
I'm trying to find some joy. I'm trying to enjoy the time I have with my kids. I'm trying to plan. But honestly, I'm borderline not-giving-a-crap. And I ALWAYS gave a crap. I'm trying not to think about the money we're spending because I feel like this could be the last hurrah, the last time the kids care about a disney trip. And I'm trying to get into the swing. But even writing this ,I feel guilty because I should be on linkedin, there's laundry piling up, things to do, and what good is this even doing, I'm not auditioning for Queen For a Day and even if I was it's not 1958 so I missed that window of opportunity. I mean, I booked dinner at Cali Grill because it's my wife's favorite place to eat anywhere on earth. I figured it'll be expensive but we can maybe skip appetizers and share desserts, get Slappette that goat cheese ravioli she's always jonesing for. I had no idea it changed to a prix fixe menu, and Slappette was adamant that we're not paying $400 for any single meal for the four of us. But she was adamant through tears. And she wasn't alone.
Sorry to vent. I'm sure I'll be back with questions, especially regarding Lightning Lanes and Genie + and what might or might not be accessible with the DAS pass, fully aware it does not let us cut the line but avoid having to wait physically in the line. We need this trip, but we're also kinda dreading it, you know?
Anyway we got a trip planned soon and this time it's...different. Hate to admit it, but I'm just not feeling it the way I used to, for a myriad of reasons.
First of all, in February a few weeks after booking (a week in DVC Grand Floridian - in retrospect it feels like I was tempting fate), I lost my job. I'm not famous but the layoffs I was a part of made the news, and the kind of job I had is getting scarce, so I'm depressed and I'm scared and I can not concentrate on putting a trip together. And considering the last trip was 5 years ago, everything is different, from having to reserve days in parks to loss of fastpass to trying to figure out Genie+, to booking fewer restaurants due to the money crunch but also having less time to book them blah blah blah. I did get a bit of severance so we're not hurting...yet...but we're definitely trying to stretch the money we have because no matter what, whenever I get a new job, likely it's going to be a big reduction in income. I need to know how to plan but...I just can't focus on it.
But it gets better. And by better I mean worse.
A few weeks after I lost my job, my wife, "Slappette," almost lost hers. She got lucky with a lateral-ish move, new job and responsibilities but same place and income. But the change is still jarring and depressing because she feels the job she had, a job she loved, was not valued or appreciated. On top of that, to help stretch our income some more, she opted to tutor during the summer. So of course, I feel like garbage her summer plans are screwed. I know, we're a team, and I didn't give a crap when she wanted time off for the birth for each kid (she wound up taking 2 years off for the birth of "Slapperina" and "Slappetina," plus another year before "Slappetina" went into kindergarten). But I still feel like garbage.
And then my mom got sick. Well, she was sick for a while, fighting cancer off and on for years, but about a year ago she decided she didn't want any more treatments, just enjoy the time she had left. Which she did. But in Spring she started to need some in home hospice care, and end of June she let go. The grief comes in waves, along with relief she's now out of pain, along with guilt that we feel relief...anyone who ever lost someone this way probably recognizes the rollercoaster of suck.
And then there are all the little things everyone deals with in the course of your days. Occasional spats with my spouse. Kids fighting. Dog chewing furniture. But also, looking for work, but in line with what I've done. Not even getting a nibble, despite (at the risk of tooting my own horn) having been pretty good at what I've done, with a few awards under my belt. Still, nothing. And dealing with the grief. Car troubles. Kids wanting to go on adventures we might not be able to swing (Slapperina plays cello and has an opportunity to go to Austria to perform next year, we'll make it happen but it's not going to be without some sacrifices).
Oh, and it turns out last time we were there, Slapperina was a T1 diabetic, but hadn't been diagnosed yet. Which made some hard days when she felt "off" and sick but couldn't describe what she felt or why. We thought it was anxiety (which runs in the family), but it wasn't until a few months later we discovered what was going on with her. She's thriving, she's on a pump, we got DAS...AND she has an injured foot, so we had to get a scooter. She's feeling more than a little self conscious over needing so much extra TLC, she tends to compensate by trying to be a regular kid...but that usually results in her having meals and snacks that throws her blood sugar out of whack one way or the other. Slappette and I can count on one hand the nights over the past 5 years we got a full uninterrupted night's rest without either trying to give her sugar to bring her up, or plug away at insulin doses to bring her down. Or both. But we had been looking forward to the trip with a "forewarned is forearmed" attitude, we can anticipate problems with her and plan better. But then came everything else.
I'm trying to find some joy. I'm trying to enjoy the time I have with my kids. I'm trying to plan. But honestly, I'm borderline not-giving-a-crap. And I ALWAYS gave a crap. I'm trying not to think about the money we're spending because I feel like this could be the last hurrah, the last time the kids care about a disney trip. And I'm trying to get into the swing. But even writing this ,I feel guilty because I should be on linkedin, there's laundry piling up, things to do, and what good is this even doing, I'm not auditioning for Queen For a Day and even if I was it's not 1958 so I missed that window of opportunity. I mean, I booked dinner at Cali Grill because it's my wife's favorite place to eat anywhere on earth. I figured it'll be expensive but we can maybe skip appetizers and share desserts, get Slappette that goat cheese ravioli she's always jonesing for. I had no idea it changed to a prix fixe menu, and Slappette was adamant that we're not paying $400 for any single meal for the four of us. But she was adamant through tears. And she wasn't alone.
Sorry to vent. I'm sure I'll be back with questions, especially regarding Lightning Lanes and Genie + and what might or might not be accessible with the DAS pass, fully aware it does not let us cut the line but avoid having to wait physically in the line. We need this trip, but we're also kinda dreading it, you know?
It sound clique but its true!