-
Welcome to the WDWMAGIC.COM Forums!
Please take a look around, and feel free to sign up and join the community.
Looking for a girlfriend
- Thread starter mharrington
- Start date
Yes, I do know about what everyone saying here is true. But I'm trying not to limit my chances too much.
Like I said, I have Asperger's Syndrome, which I think may be a factor. A guy should have some standards. And I just don't like being the youngest in my family.
unkadug
Follower of "Saget"The Cult
A girlfriend will not change the fact that you are the youngest in your family. The only thing that will change that is for your mother to have another child. :shrug:
Well, this includes in-laws. I have a brother-in-law.
Wilt Dasney
Well-Known Member
Alright, I'll bite. Setting standards is saying things like you won't date someone who drinks, smokes, is unemployed, has a criminal record, is verbally/physically abusive, etc. It might also be something like you insist your partner be a reader, of the same religion, have a good sense of humor, or the like. Basically, setting standards is a way of outlining negative qualities you won't accept or positive qualities you insist be present in your partner.
Defining what age your partner needs to be isn't a standard. It's an arbitrary condition similar (in my mind) to saying you won't date someone under 5 feet tall or with brown hair. It has nothing to do with the quality of person you want to date, which is what setting standards is about.
I know I'm not going to change your mind, and I'll admit I don't have any real appreciation of the condition you say you have, but the suggestion that setting an arbitrary age range qualifies as "having standards" struck me as an improper use of that phrase.
Well, "standards" was the closest thing I could come up with. And I figured that it fit the bill enough.
Anyway, let's move on to another topic: namely, where do you think would be a good place to find a girlfriend? The only place that came to mind in my parents was a school campus. But I'm currently between schools and won't be going back until next fall. I had just graduated this spring.
Another spot would be a book store. But again, I don't go there all that often.
So can you think of any places?
Wilt Dasney
Well-Known Member
Wish I could be more helpful, but I would say "everywhere and nowhere" — in the sense that women are all around you, but going at it from such an explictly goal-oriented standpoint (finding a girlfriend) is going to make getting to know new people tricky.
If your bottom line is cutting through the social red tape and finding someone to date, your best options are probably settings where other people have the same explicit goal, like dating sites or local singles groups.
maggiegrace1
Well-Known Member
There really is no good place to find a gf/bf..when it happens it happens unless you join a dating site, club, or have someone set you up.
I met my husband working at a grocery store..we both worked in the same area and it went from there.
I know some people met their bf/gf here on magic...
I think you just need to let it happen naturally..because if you go places specifically looking for a gf then it prob will not happen..:shrug:
I mean you can start going out more..with friends or family..attend more public functions or parties or whatever and you just might meet someone but to just go out specifically looking for the right person is only going to be stressful imo and you wont be able to enjoy yourself anywhere or doing in anything if that is your main goal and you spend all your time wondering if that girl by the bar or the girl reading cosmo is good gf material.
Go out with friends..talk to people..ask friends if they have friends they can set you up on a date with even but this whole specifically going somewhere to find a gf seems way too stressful to me...
What happens when you go somewhere..meet someone...start talking and really click with some girl and then later find out that she is older then you or more then a year younger then you..or that she is of a different religon then you or has some other nationality then you do that is not so obvious at first look...do you just quit talking to her because of that even if you both seem to hit it off well?
DO you plan on asking these girls as soon as you meet them how old are you?..What is your nationality?
Do you smoke? drink? curse?:shrug:
I understand that you have a type of person you want..a lot of us do..but sometimes what you think you want in someone is not always what is best for us.
Let it happen naturally..it will and when you find the right person you will definitely know..:wave:
But suppose I were to go on to a dating site. How would I find someone on there?
maggiegrace1
Well-Known Member
I believe that you sign up and enter all the information about what kind of person you are looking for and then they send you all the matches for your type and you go from there..I think you can respond to the ones you are interested in.
I have never done that before so I am not exactly sure..
I have never done that before so I am not exactly sure..
Well, it would all be well and good if I was younger, but I'm now 24 going on 25.
maggiegrace1
Well-Known Member
Is that old?:veryconfu
I am 37 and do not think of myself as being old...
I did not marry my husband until I was 29 and did not have my daughter till I was 33...
I think you are worrying way too much about this..it will happen when it happens..you can not rush love..and even if you meet someone and she becomes your gf does not mean it will last..it could last for 2 weeks, 2 months..or forever.
You seem to think that having a gf is something you need to have right now instead of something you just want.
trr1
Well-Known Member
well there nothing you can do about being the youngest except maybe talking your parents into giving you a little sister or brother
But how old were you when you first met?
Well, it's long since too late for that now.
unkadug
Follower of "Saget"The Cult
There's nothing wrong with being the youngest. Enjoy it while it lasts. Very soon, I'm sure there will be nieces and nephews and you will no longer be the youngest.
maggiegrace1
Well-Known Member
We met when I was 21..
I do not think so..I understand he has aspergers..and I understand what that is...
I still think that he is worrying too much about finding someone and that when it happens it happens.
I think he just needs to try and go out more..whether that be church functions, or functions at book stores or look for singles events in his area...and go from there.:shrug:
cdunbar
Active Member
When you have asbergers though it's kinda tough to go to those kinda things because there are people there you don't know and that's very very overwhelming. :shrug:
Well, I would be dependent on my parents to drive me around, as I don't have a car, a driver's license or even a driver's permit. We're currently trying to work on that, though.
maggiegrace1
Well-Known Member
I know that..but the fact that he wants a gf kind of made me think that he was ready for that..because to get a gf you need to meet and mingle with others...so I assumed..and (I may be wrong) that he is wanting and ready to do that..and is wanting to know where to go and do that..:shrug:
I mean he asked us here how to get one..ya know..
Ok..and thats fine and good luck on getting one soon..
Can your parents bring you to these functions though?
You know drop you off and pick you up?
I think if you were able to get out more then you would have many more options..
I am just trying to help..I hope you know that..I am in no way trying to be rude or come off that way..Hope you know that...
Just trying to give you some options..what you asked for in your original post..obviously you are ready you just need to know where and how to go about finding one..