Kids scarred of Flying. HELP!

[SpoonOfSugar]

Originally we were going to drive to WDW but my husband found a deal on Plane tickets which would save us some money. So now we are planning on flying down. My husband, myself, and my DD19 have all flown but this was back in 1994. Since September 11th happened, my DD19 and my DD11 are completely scarred of airplanes. I try to reassure them that nothing will happen because of the security and such at the airports but they are still scared. They have ridden the T in Boston and been on trains before and have no problem. Any advice on ways I can try to help them? My other DD14 has been begging to go on a plane and I know she will have no problem.

 

[bmarkelon]

That is a pretty tough one since they are older and have developed stronger opinions of their own. I would just keep stressing how safe it is and also how much faster you guys will be there. I am sure they have some type of technology to distract them too, IPad, iPhones, nintendo DS etc. Let them help to decide what they think will be the best way to keep themselves busy and distracted for a few hours. If it seems like it's going to be really painful maybe have them pop a Benedryl and take a nap?
I am not the biggest fan of flying myself but when it comes to choosing between a 19 hour car ride with 3 little ones or a less than 3 hour flight I always choose the flight.

Hope this helps a little, good luck!

 

[BelleofDE]

If they are only afraid to fly because of the security risk then you have a good chance in changing their minds. I'm terrified to fly because of several factors so I'm completely hopeless and probably never get on an airplane.

But, I do know that it is the safest way to travel. And it will be a heck of a lot shorter trip than driving (coming from someone who has taken a bus to WDW, Amtrak, and driven).

 

[sweetpee_1993]

Hhmmm.... Interesting. Well, I guess you don't have to worry about them shouting inappropriate things when making their first approach for landing in a thunderstorm and rough skies... :lookaroun

I'd do some research online and try to show them as much detailed info as possible about the security procedures and all the different preventative measures that are in place for their safety. I don't have the exact numbers onhand but perhaps you can find the statistics showing the fact that flying remains safer than driving even after 9/11. Maybe a pre-trip journey to the airport you are flying from to see how many people are there, including all the small children and everyday people and all the excitement of all those people heading out on their different adventures. They can see all the security from outside on the curb all the way inside. Of course you won't be able to go past the security screening area. I wouldn't even try approaching that area. Information and knowledge is power. Break it down for them, walk them thru what the experience of their travel day will be like. I don't know if it's an option, but maybe try calling the TSA office at your airport, explain the situation, and ask if they have any written info they can provide or if it's possible to set up a time to spend 15 minutes or so with an agent prior to your departure day who can maye explain what they do and reassure your DD's. When your travel day does arrive just talk to them thru every step pointing out what's going on around them.

Another idea would be to get some of their friends together or other relatives that are close to them in age that are experienced with flying since 9/11 so they can maybe share their experiences. Maybe it would be helpful to hear that stuff from peers vs. parents.

Especially with the 19yro, try explaining that the fear they carry of flying that resulted from 9/11 empowers the terrorists who commited those terrible acts. Terrorist acts are intended to take lives and incite feelings of fear and panic. When anyone allows themselves to carry around fear of those types of things happening again then they are giving the terrorists exactly what they want. Another approach after explaining the irrationality of carrying those fears (after a thorough education in all the security measures) would be to let them know that when you allow yourself to live in fear then you are handing terrorists a victory. Maybe the thought that being brave to do their little part to overcome and heal from that horrible day will also give them the empowerment that comes with finding their own courage. That courage does honor all those who lost their lives and all the people left behind who lost those they love on 9/11. Ya know?

Hope that helps. I think they'll be alright. Educate them as much as possible. It's all part of the adventure.

 

[DizMagic]

Show them that stats on how much more dangerous long road trips are than flying. You have a many many times higher chance of dying on a road trip than you do a plane crash.

 

[MaryJaneP]

If they are scarred, please keep them away from sharp objects. If they are scared, I vote in favor of (in this order) distractions (iPod, DS, Sudoku, funny books or mags/rags) and age appropriate anti-anxiety medication. It may only be a few hours on the plane, but there is no reason to start or end a vacation completely freaked out.

 

[maelstrom]

Xanax. Benadryl.

The terrorists (or whomever) have already used airplanes in an attack. Airplanes are done now.

And getting to WDW in 3 hours versus 22 hours is also a huge benefit.

 

[Hakunamatata]

Pretty well known that terrorist use car bombs much more often than planes, and they evidently have little or no fear of cars......

 

[Mystic]

How close to an airport are you? Are you close enough that you can drive out and watch the planes take off and land for awhile? You shouldn't have to actually enter the airport to do this. Spending some time just watching the planes come and go from the airport should ease some of the concerns your kids are dealing with.

I know how you kids are feeling, I'm not the world's best flyer and I was facing my own concerns and fears when I started flying again as an adult in the post-9/11 world. Our first trip back to Disney was not even 2 months after 9/11 and I had to deal with getting on a plane. I spent about 30 minutes at the airport just sitting watching the planes come in and take off before we proceeded to our gate.

I don't know what carrier you're planning to fly so I don't know what kind of in-flight entertainment you will have. But we typically fly on Air Canada so we have seat-back entertainment units which are available to us the minute we board. I start a movie or TV program as soon as I'm seated. I also have an iPod and puzzle book with me.

Another thing to take into consideration is where you're sitting on the plane. We also select our seats as I like to sit on the wing as I know for a fact that this is the safest place to sit on the plane as it is the most structurally sound section of the plane. The first year that I flew, I had to have a window seat so that I could see out as it made me feel better.

 

[dave&di]

Pretty well known that terrorist use car bombs much more often than planes, and they evidently have little or no fear of cars......

They will if they're told this! :ROFLOL:

 

[Rob562]

How close to an airport are you? Are you close enough that you can drive out and watch the planes take off and land for awhile? You shouldn't have to actually enter the airport to do this. Spending some time just watching the planes come and go from the airport should ease some of the concerns your kids are dealing with.

The OP said they were in/near Boston. I'd suggest they take a trip out to Coughlin Park in Winthrop. It's directly across the water from the end of Runway 27 at Logan. It's a good off-airport location to view planes taking off and landing.

I also have two friends that work/have worked for the TSA that I could ask their opinions on what to tell them to reassure them of the safety and security of flying.

-Rob

 

[Poofiesdream]

I agree with taking them to the airport ahead of time and let them see all the planes leaving and coming from all over and see all the people coming and going on them with no problems. Maybe you could even get an airline worker from behind the counter from the airline you are flying to talk to them if they are not busy usually between flights. That day let the counter people know too and they may be able to help calm their fears also. Good Luck. If you let the terrorist stop you from living your life than they win!

 

[Donfan]

As we used to say around the airport when I was a kid, "Flying will never be safe as long as you have to drive to the airport." And I only mean this partially facetiously. No airplanes have been hijacked in the United States since September of 2001 and won't be now. The number of flights in this country every day is quite large, and very few of them have had any problems. How many car wrecks are there every day?

 

[DizneyPryncess]

I have a severe flying phobia that debiltates my traveling life. My husband & I drive nearly everywhere - including 17 hours to Florida every single time. My biggest fears are w/mechanical errors, but since 9/11 I have developed a fear of terrorism too.

Here are the things that I do that help me, when I absolutely HAVE to fly. Most importantly - ask to meet the pilot. Anyone of any age is allowed to do this, I'm in my 20's. I usually go early to the gate & let someone know ahead of time that I'm afraid to fly & would like to meet the pilot for comfort purposes. I've never been denied or looked at funny. For some reason, no matter what the fear, knowing who is flying your plane provides a sense of comfort. Next, let the flight attendant know that your kids are scared. He or she usually provides extra attention to those who are scared, reassuring them & talking to them from time to time. Knowing that these people who are talking to you fly multiple times a day, every day, all year is comforting.

Another reason I arrive at the gate early is to people watch. I don't stereotype people, but it simply helps to see people talking, reading books, listening to music, playing games, etc. You get to see the people you'll be flying with as real people, and it helps to take the place of the fear. While on the plane, definitely keep them busy with games/books/movies & other things. For me, once I'm up in the air the fear dims a bit. It's the leading up the flight & the boarding that create the most panic. Of course everyone is different, but these are just some things that work for me.

For some other tips on fears of flying, I highly recommend checking out fearofflying.com - you can read their tips & other members discussions for free. You might find some other tips that help from fellow scared flyers. Before every flight I visit that site & it helps me tremendously. Best of luck to you! :wave:

 

[mimitchi33]

Give them an iPod, DS, iPad, DVDs or anything they like. Although they are teens, bring a stuffed animal as a comfort item. If you chose JetBlue, they have TVs on the planes with 36 channels on them. Tell them that everyting will be just fine, and that the person behind 9/11 has passed away, so it wouldn't be possible for the plane to be hijacked.

 

[mp2bill]

I would just bombard them with facts. Since I don't know your kids, it might backfire; but if you tell them about all the people who have tried something since 9/11, but have been caught, that might show your kids that security has really been stepped up and there's less likelihood of something happening now than there was before 9/11.

I wouldn't give them specifics since some of these people actually made it to the plane, but if you tell them that the "shoe bomber," "underwear bomber," 2010 Christmas bomb plot, etc were all foiled, that might show them that it really is safer to fly now than it was 10 years ago.

 

[Pooh Lover]

I agree that watching others around you at the airport helps. As your children are sitting and waiting for their plane, hopefully they will notice that no one else seems nervous or concerned and it might ease them a bit. The thing that probably helped me the most was just getting thru one and then another flight. The more I flew, the less nervous I was until it went away completely. For your youngest, it may only take one flight to feel better. For the 19 year old, maybe a little longer. Also, knowing I was flying to Disney always made the flight easier! Good luck.

 

[Himmin]

Hey,

Realy sorry to hear that your kids are scared of flying. I am terrified to and really really hate to fly.

I know a lot of people suggest reasuring them how safe it is etc but for me personally that doesn't work. I know logically the chances of something happening on my flight is slim but I am still terrified to the point that I suffer from really bad panic attacks when I fly.

My advise would be to take them to the doctors and get them some anti-anxiety tablets. I have Lorrazapam (dont know ig it is called the same in the US) It really does help!!

Hope you and your kids dont find the flight too stressfull!!!

Good luck!!!

 

[kucarachi]

give him a handful of pixie dust and tell him to think happy thoughts...see who gets to florida faster! i dont know what there is to be scared of other than getting stuck on a plane with sick people.....or if you have an ear infection that can be brutal. Other than that im sure they have some kind of ipod or iphone they can stay busy with that for the few hours they are on the plane compared to the day they would spend in the car. If its your time to go there is not much you can do but enjoy the ride anyway....although i will admit sometimes you get pilots who have some kind of deadline to make and those kind of flights are as much fun as space mountain! tell the pilot to turn out the lights!

 

[rkelly42]

I too have a sever fear of flying so much so that I have stopped completely. I found that it was ruining my vacation because all I could think about the whole time I was there was the fact I had to get on a plane at the end of it. Leading up to my vacation I would have nightmares and this would be weeks out. I have tried to distract myself with different gagdets on planes, taken medication to try and relax, but always found that I would be so nervous and worked up that it would not take effect. To this day I will drive down to WDW and I am from Mass just outside of Providence RI while the rest of the family flies. My fear started before 9/11 and was a cause of some really bad flights I had taken when I was younger and have never gotten over them. I hope this fear of flying does not grip your children like it has me because it can be a real hinderance. Next step for me is hypnosis after that I am not sure how else to deal with it.