Just booked...tell me it will be ok!!

[Kman]

We had told ourselves and our kids that we were not going on vacation this year. We had decided to re-do our kitchen (almost complete) and we thought it would be best if we just stayed home seeing we just went last summer for 12 nights. The complicating factor is that our youngest (16) has struggled for years with anxiety and depression to the point that there was a lot of school missed over the past 8 years and a couple of stays in a private treatment centre in Wisconsin over the past 18 months (75 & 56 days respectfully). We live in Canada and it was a 10.5 hour drive each way which we did every 2-3 weeks to visit when he was there. He has had a pretty significant breakthrough in the past 4 months- he finished out the school year with incredible marks and got all of his credits. The topic of Disney came up and he jumped at it with real excitement- something we have not seen in a long time. Our last trip in fact was not fantastic...he was struggling more than we realized and he kind of dragged down the rest of the family with his acting out. It wasn't a waste at all but it wasn't as fun as it should have been.

At any rate, he said he really wanted to go again so in a moment of weakness we booked an 8 night stay at the Cabins in Fort Wilderness- our absolute favourite resort. He says he is pumped.

This was the right move regardless of the money right?? This definitely won't put us in the poorhouse- just might not be the wisest. Frankly we are excited to go but there is some trepidation that we are being too impulsive and I knew that if there was a place where I would get encouragement it would be on this forum!

Convince me we made a good choice!

 

[Kate Alan]

Speaking as someone who has dealt with a similar situation - I think you made the right call. Obviously take your cues from him when you are all down there and make sure that he isn't overwhelmed, because that will be fun for no one, least of all him. But especially coming out of a period like that and showing excitement at something - I understand you want to do what you can to hold on to that.

If it won't put you in the poorhouse, and he is excited - and you are excited - then I say, go for it with gusto, and may you all have a great time together.

 

[Heather71]

You're not alone. I would certainly go. Perhaps having a hand in the planning would be good for him leading up to trip and also make him less likely to fight the plans once you're there. So glad he has had a break through! All the best to your family.

 

[catmom46]

I also think you made the right call. The fact that he pulled through and finished school is a huge thing, plus showing enthusiasm again is a very positive sign. And I think 8 nights is manageable and won't be too overwhelming. Like Kate said, you know the signs now and can monitor them better before it spirals out of control. Hope all goes well!

 

[CheshireCat12]

Sounds great! If you are concerned with cost at all, you can go for fewer days but I would still go.

 

[DiSnEyF@n]

I'd do the same thing. You made the right decision... Money comes and goes - your family's happiness is what is important.

 

[Gaston's gal]

It's always to make lasting memories so I believe you made a great decision. Have fun!

 

[Mukta]

Money will come and go. Building memories and doing something for his well being is way more important.

 

[JIMINYCR]

Oh YESSSSS, you are doing the right thing. Take the trip and have a great family time celebrating with a healthier child. Build some great memories, reward him and yourselves for coming through the tough times. The well being of your child and your family comes before anything else .... including the make over of a kitchen. Redo the kitchen later when the kids are gone and you are looking for a retirement project.

 

[Kman]

Oh YESSSSS, you are doing the right thing. Take the trip and have a great family time celebrating with a healthier child. Build some great memories, reward him and yourselves for coming through the tough times. The well being of your child and your family comes before anything else .... including the make over of a kitchen. Redo the kitchen later when the kids are gone and you are looking for a retirement project.

Thanks for encouragement....kitchen is already 80% done! Oh well, guess I'll have to look for another retirement project in 20 years!

 

[Kman]

The encouragement is great! Thanks everyone! Deep down we know it is the right thing to do and in a short period you won't even remember what the trip cost- the memories will be the important thing for sure. I asked him to help me plan tonight and he said that sounded good so I guess we'll do that tonight. Should be fun.

 

[DarthVader]

At any rate, he said he really wanted to go again so in a moment of weakness we booked an 8 night stay at the Cabins in Fort Wilderness- our absolute favourite resort. He says he is pumped.

Sometimes those are the best vacations

This was the right move regardless of the money right?? This definitely won't put us in the poorhouse- just might not be the wisest. Frankly we are excited to go but there is some trepidation that we are being too impulsive and I knew that if there was a place where I would get encouragement it would be on this forum!

Given what you wrote, I'd probably do the same if I was in your situation. I think overall this will remain with him for the rest of his life. Money is there to be used, why not use it to create some wonderful memories

 

[KoalaKoala]

You are great parents. Go and enjoy. You have all been through too much.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Disney is never a "wise" financial decision, so put your mind at ease. That said, I would never advise putting yourself in debt for a trip. The stress of money problems on a family has the potential for much greater long-term harm than the benefits of the vacation itself. All that to say: If you can afford it, go for it, even if it's not the strictly wisest decision. If you can't afford it, I'd wait.

 

[JIMINYCR]

I asked him to help me plan tonight and he said that sounded good so I guess we'll do that tonight. Should be fun.

Have a great time planning together. Thats part of building excitement and memories. Why not plan something in there without his knowing youre doing it... something just for him and you to do as a celebration of his doing well.

 

[LauraRose]

So sorry to hear about this, depression is one horrible illness. You did the right thing, especially with him making an improvement! How wonderful and he may feel rewarded for it! Now he has something to aim and look forward to, good on you!

 

[LdyApxr]

I would probably plan on going BUT, I would also say proceed with caution and be prepared in case something does not go as planned. I know I am being a Debbie Downer and I don't know how many other people will be in your group but as a mom and nurse who has seen all sides of the spectrum, as excited as he may be, he may also be just as disappointed if something just doesn't "feel" right. if that makes any sense. It may be as simple as one of you staying back at the cabin and spending a downtime day with him or just a little bit of quiet time set aside. I agree that money comes and goes and memories are what last. My parents were dirt poor but I have the best memories of camping trips, lake trips, strange little things we did because they were free(lots of those in the 70's lol). My husband is the opposite of me so it is a struggle sometimes to remind him that he is 61, our sons are 26 and 17(next week) and there won't be many more years that our teenager is going to be in the home and our oldest is re-enlisting. I don't want my kids to be left with "We could have went but mom/dad never wanted to take time off...." Maybe it is because both of my parents passed by the time I was 22(mom days after my 21st bday and dad 14mo later) and I am slightly more aware of how short life can be(I am now older than my own mother lived to be) whereas his parents lived well into their 80's and 90's. Who knows. Maybe it is because I had a great relationship with my parents and he did not? Either way, go and enjoy yourselves but recognize break times even if they conflict with the rest of the group. Wow, that was long. LOL I sure can ramble.

 

[yensid67]

By all means GO! I think from what you have said we can see how great you are at parenting your son. Even though there were problems in the past that he has overcame, nobody can go wrong with a trip to Disney! Good for you that Kitchen is 80% finished, now how about adding that in ground pool!? I would suggest that you plan each afternoon for down time at the cabin to rest relax and recharge! Take a swim, maybe for a special moment between Mom & Son, take a stroll, bike ride or take him and make a special memory that only you and he will have! Maybe present the trip as a reward for doing so well in school and in his treatment? Disney World is full of ideas to make special moments, just look for them. be creative, think outside the box! Just throwing ideas at ya!

 

[Kman]

By all means GO! I think from what you have said we can see how great you are at parenting your son. Even though there were problems in the past that he has overcame, nobody can go wrong with a trip to Disney! Good for you that Kitchen is 80% finished, now how about adding that in ground pool!? I would suggest that you plan each afternoon for down time at the cabin to rest relax and recharge! Take a swim, maybe for a special moment between Mom & Son, take a stroll, bike ride or take him and make a special memory that only you and he will have! Maybe present the trip as a reward for doing so well in school and in his treatment? Disney World is full of ideas to make special moments, just look for them. be creative, think outside the box! Just throwing ideas at ya!

I must be doing an AMAZING job if you think I am a MOM! I will make sure to let my wife know...need those brownie points! Thanks for the tips...we will look for opportunities. We know it won't be perfect- unfortunately anxiety and depression do not always take the day off even when in Disney. Just go with the flow.

Now as for that pool...done back in 2005! Looks like we are ahead of the game!

 

[Kman]

I would probably plan on going BUT, I would also say proceed with caution and be prepared in case something does not go as planned. I know I am being a Debbie Downer and I don't know how many other people will be in your group but as a mom and nurse who has seen all sides of the spectrum, as excited as he may be, he may also be just as disappointed if something just doesn't "feel" right. if that makes any sense. It may be as simple as one of you staying back at the cabin and spending a downtime day with him or just a little bit of quiet time set aside. I agree that money comes and goes and memories are what last. My parents were dirt poor but I have the best memories of camping trips, lake trips, strange little things we did because they were free(lots of those in the 70's lol). My husband is the opposite of me so it is a struggle sometimes to remind him that he is 61, our sons are 26 and 17(next week) and there won't be many more years that our teenager is going to be in the home and our oldest is re-enlisting. I don't want my kids to be left with "We could have went but mom/dad never wanted to take time off...." Maybe it is because both of my parents passed by the time I was 22(mom days after my 21st bday and dad 14mo later) and I am slightly more aware of how short life can be(I am now older than my own mother lived to be) whereas his parents lived well into their 80's and 90's. Who knows. Maybe it is because I had a great relationship with my parents and he did not? Either way, go and enjoy yourselves but recognize break times even if they conflict with the rest of the group. Wow, that was long. LOL I sure can ramble.

I really like this...we are in our mid-40's and our kids are 22, 18 & 16. We have always taken the opportunities to travel with them. Disney has been a staple for sure but we have RV'd all over Canada and the US over the years. I agree with you totally that you need to find the opportunities to make memories and build relationships with your kids. Vacation is one way to do that. You are right that you only have a limited time in reality- our 22 year is not coming along due to work and university for example- so that was one major reason we decided to spring for this. Reading all of these posts has reassured me that we are making the right decision- money aside. Your comment about your parents passing so young is proof that you don't know how much time you have so you need to make the most of what you get. Thanks

If I could just start a crowd funding thing here I would be all set...