Regarding who is white, I think a lot depends on how others see/judge you. A friend once told me she starts every day thinking she is as American as everyone else but someone always reminds her that she isn't. She put into words the microaggressions I encounter or (sub)consciously brace myself for with most every interaction. Talk about exhausting.
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Jungle Cruise Update
- Thread starter SSG
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mickEblu
Well-Known Member
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Deleted member 107043
Most black people in the US don't have the luxury of hosting dinner parties year in and year out and shrug off racism when their relatives are being killed by police, burdened with debt, treated unfairly by the justice system, lack the education to get ahead, struggling to make ends meet, dealing with microaggressions daily, and having their grievances constantly questioned by white people.
To answer your question my friends and family engage in a variety of topics at gatherings, whether they be dinner parties, virtual happy hours, cookouts, picnics, nights on the town or whatever. Politics, racism, sexism, climate change, the pandemic, religion, funny TikTok videos - pretty much anything in the current news cycle is fair game for conversation. For instance, last summer the murder of George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter uprisings were a huge topic among many people I know, even at work. As you might imagine the political views in my circle are pretty homogenous, however we don't always agree but we do respect and listen to each other's opinions. There are a wide range of ages, genders, ethnicities (yes some of my friends are white), nationalities, gay and straight in the mix.
TP2000
Well-Known Member
What are daily microaggressions you encounter in most every interaction you have with other humans? I'd be interested to hear of a few examples that happen to you daily.
Californian Elitist
Well-Known Member
Not sure about this “script” you’re speaking of in regards to Disneyland animatronics.I must tell you, as a white person, there is a certain script you must stick to as a white person when that topic comes up at an HR training session at work. Some of us have not stuck to that script in this thread, and instead we spoke openly and honestly about our opinions, notably me.
Are you fine with me speaking openly and honestly, and offering basic facts like the total number of white vs. non-white animatronics at Disneyland compared to the racial demographics of the United States? Or would you rather me stick to the script and just nod along silently like all white people must do in the HR session?
I'm still baffled at the idea that I would broach the subjects in this thread at a dinner party, regardless if the guest list was mixed-race or all-white. I can't remember the last time I attended an all-white party with more than 6 people, but I assume some folks in other parts of the country still only socialize with people of their own race.
Like @Dr. Hans Reinhardt, I too am not shocked that you can’t fathom the idea of talking about these topics at a dinner party. I theorize that your age difference has a lot to do with it.
TP2000
Well-Known Member
You bring up "American imperialism" at a dinner party with several combat veterans sitting across the table from you?
I can't even imagine that. Talk about a buzz kill.
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Deleted member 107043
I'm experiencing one right now.
Prejudice. I am mestizo. I have people assume I don't speak English, am here illegally, am uneducated, couldn't have had a professional career. Assumed to be a gang member even though I have gone out of my way to dress and appear otherwise. I have used my credit union debit card at Costco and had the cashier insist that my food stamp card wouldn't work for my purchases. Enough experiences and you start flinching instinctively.
TP2000
Well-Known Member
I was talking about your HR sessions where you discuss race with the employees you supervise and work with.
When that happens in the conference room once per year, every white person at your work knows exactly what to do. We clam up, we stay mostly silent, we nod along in agreement. We might eek out a few rehearsed lines like "I believe diversity is our strength!" or "It's really important that the word inclusion is in our mission statement". Younger folks might be able to muster up something more stylish like "I'm here to listen, not talk." and then go silent for another 20 minutes to help their career.
Otherwise, we sit and nod and try not to breathe the wrong word or the wrong sentiment, lest we lose our jobs. It's important to know that the white people in the workplace are not hateful racists and not bad people, but they know the wrong word used or the mistake of not saying the right slogan can get them branded as a problem employee and someone to watch. It's a script all white people know to follow in the workplace.
This thread is not the workplace. You are a boss, but you are not my boss, and I am not getting paid to be here. So I didn't have to stick to the strict HR script white folks often have to obey when they are at work.
Californian Elitist
Well-Known Member
The George Floyd incident sparked so many conversations within my circles. I posted multiple things on Facebook and many of my white friends listened and offered a listening ear and the opportunity to discuss and learn. It was great knowing I had white friends who took themselves out of the picture and just listened. For weeks, my university planned open discussion groups for students to listen to black voices on the matter. I remember getting a bunch of emails from the president of the university containing rhetoric pertaining to supporting black students.
This is the direction we are heading in and people are getting their panties and boxers in a wad over it. But history has shown that attempts to improve racial relations in this country will always be met with pushback and criticism. You want freedom and no longer want to be my slave?! Someone go get me my whip. You want equal rights and the opportunity to vote?? Call the cops and tell them to bring the dogs and be ready to use the hoses. What do you mean I have to share drinking fountains with colored people?!
Those are extreme examples, but the point is the same.
TP2000
Well-Known Member
Huh. Some of those seem genuinely crummy, especially the gang affiliation one.
I will tell you a funny story though that happened to me, an older white man who is financially solid. I was at Crate&Barrel at South Coast Plaza last week buying stuff. They had those stupid Covid plastic shields over the credit card machine and I couldn't get my hand to insert it correctly. I have a Farmers & Merchants account that lets you put an image on your card, and I chose a mountainscape. Apparently the unemployment cards so many people have today have a photo of Yosemite on them, and to the clerk it looked like I was trying to use an unemployment card to buy my merchandise with. The clerk, who had clearly had it with her job that day, sighed heavily and said loudly "Sir, you can't use your welfare card in the chip reader, you need to scan it to get it to work here!".
I was stunned, but kind of confused, and the two OC Housewives in line looked disdainfully at me for using a "welfare card". We got it figured out after I adjusted the plastic Covid flap over the chip reader, but the damage was done.
I got in my car and replayed the events and was still confused. Only when I told my friend this story the following day did he explain what the unemployment debit cards look like and how similar the image is to my Farmers & Merchants Visa. I laughed hysterically!
Now, had I been Black, it would be perfectly understandable for me to think that clerk was a horrible racist for assuming a Black customer was on welfare. A microaggresion? Or just downright rude customer service?
I vote for the clerk being rude and/or poorly trained.
They all add up. You could laugh off a one time incident. One after another after another wears you down.
mickEblu
Well-Known Member
I live in the San Fernando valley which has a large population of Latinos, Persians, Armenians and Israelis. Based off that and what I look like, I’d imagine “White” people would consider me Middle Eastern. If I was in Italy, Italians would think I’m Italian. If I was in Jordan, Jordanians would think Jordanian.
What do you guys think?
TP2000
Well-Known Member
Sure, I get that. But I hope it makes you feel better to know some of these instances are just grumpy, rude clerks.
TP2000
Well-Known Member
mickEblu
Well-Known Member
Californian Elitist
Well-Known Member
And you know why white people have this “script,” right? You understand why white people should be there to listen and not come back with rebuttals during something like racial bias training, yes?
mickEblu
Well-Known Member
TP2000
Well-Known Member
No, I don't. Is the session there to tell us that only white people are capable of racial prejudice? It sounds like that's what you are saying.
Which is exactly why white people, about 20 years ago, learned that they are in a can't win situation and they just have to sit quietly in the conference room once per year. The more daring, or just the kiss-ups, will muster up a stale "I believe diversity is our strength!" comment or two. But most know you just have to sit quietly until it's over.
Because only white people are capable of racial prejudice or bigotry? As you just stated.