Husband and I are taking Disney Trip, March 2020 w/ Daughters but kind of separate? Need advice and experience stories

[Jewels0621]

DH&I are at YC resort and they will be at ASMovies resort. It will be for their 20 and 21 birthdays but they are paying for their trips and we'll be paying for ours. We're flying in from KY early and hope to be on the same flight but that's not guaranteed. DH and I are definitely set on YC for couple time. We'll help them with some expenses if needed, but it's their first "grown up" experience and won't pay for a majority of their trips. But we plan on treating them to a special event. We'll have cell phones of course, but Husband and I have been worrying a little about them being away from us and coordinating plans or meeting up. We seem more concerned then they do. We want to spend time with them but not be clingy. Boy do I sound like a helicopter mom?! Sooo, anyone else been the parent or child in a similar position? Was it easy or frustrating to book stuff like ADR,FP? Just looking for advice, tips,etc. and venting I guess. I searched the forums and nothing seems to match? Day 1 set for MK for all of us together, rest of itinerary not set in stone.

 

[righttrack]

As others have indicated, schedule your table service meals together. Meet there and continue your evening together and leave the daytime free. Fastpasses are harder to schedule in this way, but not impossible either. They may want to go later than you some nights, likewise, you will probably be up earlier than they are and want to head to the parks earlier. Meeting over lunch at a quick service restaurant isn't that bad as well. These can be great experiences. They bring back the memories but also take into account who they are and how they have grown since then.

 

[DISR]

I've done similar things with friends, not family. It is extremely challenging to synch something as complex as Disney planning for folks with different agendas. If you aren't staying in the same place and don't have nearly identical agendas...wake up times, eating times, desire for downtime, ride preferences, etc, then I would let everyone plan on their their own vacation and schedule flexible meet-up windows. The last time we did this with a some friends, we did an afternoon/evening in the EPCOT World Showcase and met again later for pre-MNSSHP drinks at the Poly. It was great and nobody stressed about no-shows, missed fast passes, etc. If either group had flaked out or been late, there would have been almost no impact. I have no idea what your kids are like, but it is plenty of work herding my immediate group to where they need to be. I try to limit the amount of frustration in expanding that to other folks. IMO, if you want to enjoy your vacation, don't make somebody else's vacation your problem. Your family dynamic may be really different, so take this for what it is worth to you.

 

[Jewels0621]

Hi! I've done several trips where my husband and I have gone with extended family starting when we were 20 (dating then). We're 27 now and still like visiting WDW with my parents! We usually end up at different resorts as my husband and I own DVC and my parents/siblings do not. Sometimes if we have extra points we'll get them a room too, but usually they pay for their own room. We definitely do not spend all day, everyday together, but we get together at least once a day, usually in the morning or afternoon, then everyone goes their separate ways for the rest of the evening and dinner. ADRs and FPs are easy to book if one person does all the booking (usually me). We've been doing this for a while and haven't had any major Disney family meltdowns since my 16th birthday hahaha. If your kids are 20 and 21, they will be fine. I've been running around Disney by myself/siblings/cousins since I was 14 and nothing bad has ever happened. If you want them to want to continue going to WDW with you, let them have their space and do their own thing and let them decide what activities you all do together.

Thank you.

 

[Jewels0621]

As others have indicated, schedule your table service meals together. Meet there and continue your evening together and leave the daytime free. Fastpasses are harder to schedule in this way, but not impossible either. They may want to go later than you some nights, likewise, you will probably be up earlier than they are and want to head to the parks earlier. Meeting over lunch at a quick service restaurant isn't that bad as well. These can be great experiences. They bring back the memories but also take into account who they are and how they have grown since then.

Thank you. I believe that they will do well. It’s a learning experience for sure for them. One has a poor sense of direction but will be fine. My other daughter has been on band trips so she’s going to be fine too. They like to go off and do their own things even when they are together. DH were wondering about logistics and y’all are giving great tips!

 

[yensid67]

I did not read all the posts, but wanted to give my input...
If it were me in this situation, I would let them do their own thing. Plan a meet up AND/OR a meal once a day to keep in touch! Other than that I would enjoy the parks with the husband. Your daughters will have to grow up sometime so why not at Disney! You may find that if you give the room to breathe, you will find they will come back to spend time with good 'ol Mom and Dad. Expressing that you want to spend time with them during the trip but not smother them should seal the deal of spending time with them and then sending them on their way to do their own thing! YOU DEFINTELY WANT TO MEET UP FOR DESSERT AND THE NIGHT TIME ENTERAINMENT!

 

[zurgandfriend]

I am not going to tell you how you should treat your children. Speaking from experience however, I can tell you that when family members are staying in different resorts it can be like herding cats. Just trying to meet for touring and meals can turn into a real cluster. One missed or “packed” bus can effect ADRs etc.

 

[JIMINYCR]

When our DS was in his teen years we gave him more freedom so he would make his own wise choices and be better able to go off on his own when he left for college. On trips to WDW we used an app called "find friends" which could be aded to his and our phones. It would show us where he was in the parks and we could notify him if he wasnt making his way to the restaurants for meal times with us. The app let us look in on him from time to time so we could check on where he was and show his movements in real time. It might be a handy tool for you and others starting out giving their teens freedom.

 

[Jewels0621]

When our DS was in his teen years we gave him more freedom so he would make his own wise choices and be better able to go off on his own when he left for college. On trips to WDW we used an app called "find friends" which could be aded to his and our phones. It would show us where he was in the parks and we could notify him if he wasnt making his way to the restaurants for meal times with us. The app let us look in on him from time to time so we could check on where he was and show his movements in real time. It might be a handy tool for you and others starting out giving their teens freedom.

We have that app which we've used for about 2 years and is cool but can be unreliable sometimes.

 

[Jewels0621]

I am not going to tell you how you should treat your children. Speaking from experience however, I can tell you that when family members are staying in different resorts it can be like herding cats. Just trying to meet for touring and meals can turn into a real cluster. One missed or “packed” bus can effect ADRs etc.

Thank you for the tip!

 

[I am Timmy]

You are getting so much great advice, I only have a little to add. Don't worry! I have 2 boys, 27 and 24 now, and we've been going to DW for years. It has gone through lots of changes, as have we. DS 27 is special needs - and he can be on his own in DW without me having to worry. I still go with my adult sons every year, even if DH can't make it, and we always have a blast. Sometimes they run off together while I nap (or do laundry - we stay 3 weeks in Orlando when we go). We also do a week at Uni first, and they can run around the parks or Citywalk as well. Sometimes my special needs sweetie will want to go off and do something different than us, we're used to it and he keeps in touch by phone. Also, the CM's are great if anyone needs info. - the girls can stop and ask anyone where something is, or how to get somewhere. We also had both my boys download Uber and use it if the lines at the bus stop are taking too long (I had them connect it to my CC so I pay for it when they use it). Works out so great! They've never been late to a meal since Uber, and really easy to use. Good luck!