Husband and I are taking Disney Trip, March 2020 w/ Daughters but kind of separate? Need advice and experience stories

[Jewels0621]

DH&I are at YC resort and they will be at ASMovies resort. It will be for their 20 and 21 birthdays but they are paying for their trips and we'll be paying for ours. We're flying in from KY early and hope to be on the same flight but that's not guaranteed. DH and I are definitely set on YC for couple time. We'll help them with some expenses if needed, but it's their first "grown up" experience and won't pay for a majority of their trips. But we plan on treating them to a special event. We'll have cell phones of course, but Husband and I have been worrying a little about them being away from us and coordinating plans or meeting up. We seem more concerned then they do. We want to spend time with them but not be clingy. Boy do I sound like a helicopter mom?! Sooo, anyone else been the parent or child in a similar position? Was it easy or frustrating to book stuff like ADR,FP? Just looking for advice, tips,etc. and venting I guess. I searched the forums and nothing seems to match? Day 1 set for MK for all of us together, rest of itinerary not set in stone.

 

[Jewels0621]

Thank you!

We don't have accounts set up yet.

 

[Jewels0621]

Have you been to WDW before?

August 2007

 

[CaptainAmerica]

You need to decide if this is a family trip or if it's a couples trip that happens to be on the same dates as their sister trip. When we plan for extended family trips, we make one giant itinerary that serves as the spine for everyone and the specific people break off to do their own thing as they see fit. It's not that complicated.

 

[nickys]

OK, maybe time to think practicalities here.

When is this trip? Is it booked yet even?

It sounds like this is not a family trip as such, therefore I think you should all sit down and find out about what everyone wants to do.

• do you want to tour together every day (I like the idea of going to MK altogether on day 1, kind of a classic way to start)
• maybe decide where you would like to have dinner together a couple of nights, and where you and DH want to dine alone
• when dining together, maybe that is your treat to them

If this isn’t booked yet, having made some basic decisions, since you haven’t been to WDW for 12 years and seem uncertain about things, maybe think about using a TA to help.

If it is already booked, then I’m not sure @Kingdom Konsultant[can offer a different kind of TA service - I know bookings can sometimes be transferred, for example.

 

[Kingdom Konsultant]

The packages won't be released until around mid June. Feel free to reach out to me directly if you have questions.
@wdwmagic

Pam

 

[Kingdom Konsultant]

Thanks for the mention, but any referrals from these boards should go to the board sponsors (@Kingdom Konsultant) .

Thank you @DisneyJoe . Yes, since we are the only travel agency that is allowed to advertise that we are travel agents on these forums also. @wdwmagic

Pam

 

[Mickey5150]

If everyone in the family has a Disney account set up with their hotel reservation and ticket then you can link the accounts together. Once linked you can make adr's and fastpasses just the same as if you were all staying in the same room. Also this will allow you to see your daughter's fp's and they can see yours. For something special, I've never done it but you can send gift baskets to hotel rooms thru Disney. I don't know how it works but it is available from Disney.

 

[eliza61nyc]

so this is my experience and what I do. My kids are in the range of 20-25. When I invite them on a family vacation I foot the bill for park tickets and plane tickets. We're dvc so they don't have that issue of rooms.

lol, basically my kids ALWAYS find me at dinner time because they know I eat way better than their budgets allow. Now as for the "let them go" thing. Personally I don't consider it controlling or helicoptering, I consider it good manners. Sorry but I'm a natural worrier whether its my 20 something kids or my 60 some thing late husband. common courtesy imo says you let people know you are ok. for example, I just went out of town last weekend. I called one of my kids to let them know I landed safely. My husband would have gotten murdered if he flew out of town and didn't at least send me a text saying he arrived safely. IMO that's simply courtesy and respect.

Anyhoo,
What we do is every day simply pick a meeting place for 1 meal. some times it's lunch and some times it's dinner.

 

[nickys]

Thank you @DisneyJoe . Yes, since we are the only travel agency that is allowed to advertise that we are travel agents on these forums also. @wdwmagic

Pam

Oh, so sorry Pam! And Mods too. Totally forgot that.....

 

[peoplemover]

DH&I are at YC resort and they will be at ASMovies resort. It will be for their 20 and 21 birthdays but they are paying for their trips and we'll be paying for ours. We're flying in from KY early and hope to be on the same flight but that's not guaranteed. DH and I are definitely set on YC for couple time. We'll help them with some expenses if needed, but it's their first "grown up" experience and won't pay for a majority of their trips. But we plan on treating them to a special event. We'll have cell phones of course, but Husband and I have been worrying a little about them being away from us and coordinating plans or meeting up. We seem more concerned then they do. We want to spend time with them but not be clingy. Boy do I sound like a helicopter mom?! Sooo, anyone else been the parent or child in a similar position? Was it easy or frustrating to book stuff like ADR,FP? Just looking for advice, tips,etc. and venting I guess. I searched the forums and nothing seems to match? Day 1 set for MK for all of us together, rest of itinerary not set in stone.

I say do whatever is best for you and your family and have the discussion up front. Obviously a lot of people have opinions on what they think the best parenting styles are, but I think if you guys discuss these things beforehand then you’ll be able to figure out what works best for the four of you ahead of time so everyone is happy.

 

[Weather_Lady]

We did a "couples" trip to WDW with my parents, a couple of years after my sister and I were each married. We did stay in the same resort, but my sister and her husband opted to stay in a different section than my parents and DH/me. We knew going into it that nobody expected us to do everything together, all the time, and we all committed to not taking it personally if anybody wanted to go off and do their own thing. Instead, we sat down before the trip, planned one daily table service dinner that we were all going to do together -- plus MK together on our arrival day and fireworks together on our last night -- and left the rest up to more last-minute planning. (Granted, this was in the days before you had to book Fastpasses ahead of time, so we didn't even have to decide on parks beforehand: we could just decide the night before what we thought we wanted to do the next morning, and see if anyone else in the group wanted to come, too.)

It worked out beautifully. Everybody could be as together -- or as separate -- as they wanted. My parents tended to sleep in while my sister and I and our husbands rope-dropped a park together, so they'd just call us mid-morning if they wanted to find out where we were and join us. My sister and her husband liked to reserve their afternoons to themselves, so DH and I would make our own plans, or just pal around with Mom and Dad. Regardless, we could all look forward to meeting up for a relaxing dinner together every night and swapping stories about how we'd spent the day, and while we were at it, we could discuss whether anyone wanted to make group plans for that evening. (In fact, I do think we ended up sticking together most evenings after dinner.)

We didn't spend a lot of time hanging around the hotel, so the fact that we were at the same one didn't affect our experience very much (although I did love being able to pop over, snuggle up with my Mom and kibitz with her at bedtime, like I was a kid again: their room connected with ours, at our request). To get together from distant ends of WDW, we just called (yes, this trip was even pre-texting capabilities, now it's so much easier!) and met each other in a park or at a restaurant.

My suggestion is just to have a pre-trip family meeting (preferably before the 6-month ADR window opens, if that's possible) to set expectations and decide on a few things (whether it's meals, FP attractions, shows, etc.) that you know you want to do together. The rest of the itinerary can be left flexible, so that everybody has sufficient breathing room if they want it, but can join up with others if they find they don't.

 

[RiceCrispyMickey]

We've done a holiday with DH's family where we stayed in a separate resort as we didn't want to be with them for the whole time. It worked fine, we just planned to spend some of the days together and meet for some ADRs but not all, and we linked accounts so we could plan some fast passes for the same times. I think just plan your trip and then sit them down and say to them, here is where we are going, do you want to join us for any of these, are there any places you guys would really like to go that you would like us to join you for? I'm sure there will be some things you will all want to do together. As for getting around, Disney transportation is fab and they shouldn't really have a problem if they use the buses etc, just leave plenty of time and tell them to text you if they are running late. Have a super holiday

 

[jaklgreen]

I am not quite there yet(mine are 17&18) but I would ask my girls what their expectations of the trip are. Are they wanting to go on rides together, spend just a few hours a day with you, just have dinner together, etc. It is easy in this day and age with cell phones to be able to meet up and keep in touch. I can see how this time of life is both exciting and terrifying. I would go with their lead on how much time they want to spend with you. Letting your kids be the ones "in charge" of the situation is going to be hard but part of them growing up. I am sure all of you will have a great trip.

 

[JillC LI]

Being the planner that I am, I would want to agree in advance what parts of days and meals we will spend together so we can book them. As for the rest, I would be comfortable that you could touch base by phone.

 

[Kingdom Konsultant]

I suggest just let them do their thing. I've gone with my girls who are now 32 and 27 as well as my youngest and her friends. I just tell them where we are eating and what time to be there and then I enjoy the parks with my husband or I hang out at the hotel in the lounge for a bit. They are trying to adult, so don't stress lol
Also since you already have something booked, I am guessing that you booked a room only reservation since that is all that you can book for next year. Keep in mind that if you want tickets or a dining plan that you will need to cancel that room only reservation and re-book a package.

Pam

 

[Jewels0621]

I suggest just let them do their thing. I've gone with my girls who are now 32 and 27 as well as my youngest and her friends. I just tell them where we are eating and what time to be there and then I enjoy the parks with my husband or I hang out at the hotel in the lounge for a bit. They are trying to adult, so don't stress lol
Also since you already have something booked, I am guessing that you booked a room only reservation since that is all that you can book for next year. Keep in mind that if you want tickets or a dining plan that you will need to cancel that room only reservation and re-book a package.

Pam

Last night DH and I had to book Beach Club, room reservations only, because Yacht Club was booked up except for Club level. The girls booked All Star Movies liked they wanted.
I'm thinking that Yacht Club sold out already because of the Epcot Flower and Garden Festival in combo with GE. So I'm glad we didn't wait a minute later!

 

[Jewels0621]

If everyone in the family has a Disney account set up with their hotel reservation and ticket then you can link the accounts together. Once linked you can make adr's and fastpasses just the same as if you were all staying in the same room. Also this will allow you to see your daughter's fp's and they can see yours. For something special, I've never done it but you can send gift baskets to hotel rooms thru Disney. I don't know how it works but it is available from Disney.

I suggest just let them do their thing. I've gone with my girls who are now 32 and 27 as well as my youngest and her friends. I just tell them where we are eating and what time to be there and then I enjoy the parks with my husband or I hang out at the hotel in the lounge for a bit. They are trying to adult, so don't stress lol
Also since you already have something booked, I am guessing that you booked a room only reservation since that is all that you can book for next year. Keep in mind that if you want tickets or a dining plan that you will need to cancel that room only reservation and re-book a package.

Pam

Can we link Magic Bands too in case they want to use our hotel room for something like a nap or if they get overheated?

 

[Kingdom Konsultant]

Can we link Magic Bands too in case they want to use our hotel room for something like a nap or if they get overheated?

No. They would need one of your magic bands in order to get into your hotel room

 

[Jewels0621]

No. They would need one of your magic bands in order to get into your hotel room

Thanks.

 

[piglet21]

Hi! I've done several trips where my husband and I have gone with extended family starting when we were 20 (dating then). We're 27 now and still like visiting WDW with my parents! We usually end up at different resorts as my husband and I own DVC and my parents/siblings do not. Sometimes if we have extra points we'll get them a room too, but usually they pay for their own room. We definitely do not spend all day, everyday together, but we get together at least once a day, usually in the morning or afternoon, then everyone goes their separate ways for the rest of the evening and dinner. ADRs and FPs are easy to book if one person does all the booking (usually me). We've been doing this for a while and haven't had any major Disney family meltdowns since my 16th birthday hahaha. If your kids are 20 and 21, they will be fine. I've been running around Disney by myself/siblings/cousins since I was 14 and nothing bad has ever happened. If you want them to want to continue going to WDW with you, let them have their space and do their own thing and let them decide what activities you all do together.