Firstly, I 100% agree that the choice is up to you.
As for things like linesand FPs...I personally prefer all of this. All of our early trips- the pre-FP pre-interactive queue days -were full of long LONG lines. We still loved it, but to say it was better before fast passes were introduced is ridiculous. And if you think interactive queues are some kind of ploy, try waiting in that hour+ line with NOTHING to watch or do. Now I'm not saying you have to have some elaborate touring plan, but to say these things don't make the waits more tolerable is absurd. We still decide if we want to wait, if we want to grab FPs, or if we want to just take it slow...but to have the choice to make the lines shorter or more tolerable is a million times better to me than it was in the early days.
As for ADRs, I remember it being 1985 and my dad tried to make dinner reservations upon entering Epcot bright and early that morning...ya know, the ones where you could see your reservationist on the monitor in front of you. And I remember how heartbroken he was that all of the prime dinner spots were got at the few spots that really interested him, so we settled for Morocco (which was awful- at least to us- back then). Now maybe 180 days seems excessive, but I'd rather be able to have a way to book in advance to get into the spot of my choice. I don't even really have a problem with having to make a reservation period...I mean, reservations aren't just a Disney thing. I make reservations here in Houston for any popular restaurant and do the same pretty much anywhere where we travel if places take them.
And it's not just Disney that requests a credit card and has cancellation policies. Even dining in a couple of the places in Yellowstone, i was asked for a credit card to hold my reservation and could be hit with a no show fee. No show fees are becoming increasingly common b/c so many people lack the common courtesy of cancelling a reservation. We've seen this in Vegas too. And if you think 180 days is nuts...some of the popular spots in Vegas, NY, and even the national parks books up even farther in advance. I guess maybe you've had to have some experience with these things to have that perspective on it though.
Ultimately, we make all of our ADRs in advance and pick which parks we're going to be on which day and that's really about it. Yes, we do sometimes have to stop whatever we're doing to make an ADR, but how is that any different from DH getting up from the blackjack table to head to our dinner reservations for the evening? Or even just calling the kids in from the back yard or the park so we can head to a local RFC to make a reservation there? I mean, to me - that's just life.
Finally, one of the best things you can do...build in break time. Whether it's an afternoon back at your resort, shopping, in the pool, etc. or a full break day to just lounge around. This will totally help you have a nice and relaxing trip.