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How do you manage different preferences?


Well-Known Member
Hi all,
How do you and your travel party manage differences in preferences while in Disney?

DH hates flying in the morning, I love it
I want to be on the go all the time, DH needs more resting time
I don’t like to re-ride as much as DH does
DH doesn’t like to window shop as much as I do
I prefer to dine at new places with a mix of some traditions while DH would prefer to dine at familiar places
DH prefers to travel at hot times of year more than I do

I’m curious to know how your families handle stuff like this on vacation? Do you negotiate, compromise, dig your heals in? I’m curious to read your thoughts!


Well-Known Member
It is all about compromise for us. For the most part we all enjoy the same things but there are some like riding certain rides where two of us may go on it (ToT) while the other two go shop/grab a snack. Then later we'll switch with a different ride. Dining is pretty much a group decision where we each get a choice of a favorite to go to and we make plans accordingly. I'll eat anything anywhere so I usually pick last;) When we drive my wife and I decide which parts of the trip each of us doesn't like and plan those sections accordingly. (Wife hates mountain driving so I usually agree to that) There are parts of our trip such as walking back from HS to the hotel instead of the boat where my wife and I pretty much say that's what we're doing and all the moaning/groaning about how tired you are isn't going to change it:facepalm:
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Premium Member
Well I'm the planner, so I ask the family what they want to do, their fastpass preferences and anywhere they want to eat. I'll then work out a rough itinerary for each day, the park, any ADR and then making sure the evening entertainment fits in. I use touring plans to plan out what''s reasonable to achieve attraction wise, and plan fastpasses starting about 10:30 / 11:00.

After that although I may have a plan, we pretty much do what we feel like on the day. DH often calls it a day early and heads back to the resort, sometimes with one of the boys. Eldest DS and I tend to go on longer. If there's an evening plan, like HDDR or F! / Star Wars then we plan to meet at a certain time at the resort to head out again.

We don't drive onsite, only to say Kennedy or Universal, and we all enjoy WDW in our own way. Which is kind of why we joined DVC, even though we only come once every 3 years or so. We have a base to chill in, can make lunch or dinner there if we want to, just as if we were at a villa offsite, but aren't reliant on anyone (DH) having to drive us to the parks and back. Last year our youngest (17) decided to stay at BLT whilst we went to to WWOHP at Universal. He went to MK for a couple of hours, took a monorail ride and generally chilled out.

We do plenty together but also do our own thing according to how we feel at the time. when the boys were younger we often split up and each of us took one of them. But we were used to doing that anyway, as the youngest has additional support needs. We still do to some extent, after we've used our pre-booked fps, but we start off together. Unless someone decides they want to sleep in, in which case we just agree to meet up later.
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Well-Known Member
My hubby is not that picky about the stupid stuff like what time of day to fly or the time of year, etc. He usually just does what I have planned because he does not want to do the planning and little things like what rides to go on next are a ridiculous thing to get angry about. But knowing that we like different things, he will go his way and I will go mine at times. No big deal. He will go back to the resort or go to the ESPN club and watch a game while I go shopping or walk around Epcot, etc. As far as dining, we can find something to eat anywhere we go, so no matter what restaurant we eat at, everyone finds something they like(we are not too picky). But I do have to say that mostly my hubby just does whatever I have planned, even window shopping. We have been very happily married for 22 years and the secret is happy wife, happy life. :D
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Lisa t

Compromise. If you go out to eat 6 times, he picks 3, you pick 3. If you sit for a parade, you shop while he holds your seat. Fly mid-day. Tell him you will go on 5 rides 2's, pick his favorite. Go once when he wants, then go when you want the next time, or just pick a moderate temp.

It could be worse, your husband could hate going at all. I have to alternate. Disney, then a trip for my husband.
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Well-Known Member
DW and I have always differed in what we want to do at Disney. I want to go go go and shes wanting to take it slower. She likes parades... I cant stand them. So we start out the day together spending time together and at some point in the day we will go our separate ways for a time. We arrange a time and spot to meet up together later on. That way we each have time to do our favorite things and are happy but also have together time to enjoy things as a couple. Dining is easier because we like the same places and discuss in advance which ADR's we want to reserve. Our time at Disney is precious and its a time we treasure as a family so we each want the other to get as much enjoyment out of the trip as possible. Neither of us is demanding of the other or lets differences spoil the goals we each have for the trip.
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Well-Known Member
It's all about compromise and being comfortable with splitting up at times, keeping in mind that the vacation is for everybody, not just the planner. What we've done with larger family groups at WDW (and what we do even within our nuclear family) is that we have a complete itinerary done ahead of time, designed with everybody's preferences in mind. However, the intinerary has just a couple of "must-dos" for everybody (typically the dinner meal and maybe a particular show). Everything else is optional: people can join in when they want, go do something else when they want, etc. In practice, this means that the early risers head off to a park at the crack of dawn, and others who want to have a leisurely morning sleep in and arrive later, texting us when they get there, and meet up with us wherever we are in our tour. After lunch, those who want to go back to the resort and swim do that, while those who'd prefer to re-ride some attractions stay for that. Despite all of this, we still end up spending the overwhelming majority of our time together as a group -- we just keep a "no pressure, no guilt" attitude for those who want to branch off for a bit. FWIW, if you do it this way, parkhoppers are pretty essential.

I'd imagine the same philosophy would work well for you and DH. Perhaps he can commit to park touring with you from mid-morning to lunch; then he can go revisit attractions while you shop for a while, and you can meet up again for dinner (each of you selecting half of the ADR locations) and spend the evening together...
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Well-Known Member
Compromise compromise. As with any group decisions there will be differing opinions, and making sure that everyone has a say in the decision process is key to keeping everyone happy. I'm a total commando, my DW is more about going slow, doesn't like thrill rides, etc. So it's a balancing act to keep everyone happy and still enjoy, but it's usually worth it.
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Well-Known Member
COMPROMISE! DH like to travel during the hot times, so travel then, BUT since you like to travel in the morning, you travel in the morning. U like to window shop, let him re ride something while you window shop, then meet up for a LUNCH at a familiar place and ride some rides and then have Dinner at a NEW PLACE or vice versa! And resting, allow him to go back to the room and meet you later, while you window shop! It's not hard ya just have to give a little in order to get what you want! LOL!
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Well-Known Member
When our kids were younger we used a voting process. Each of the two kids had one vote. My wife had three votes. I had six votes. ;)
Now that we have grandkids my votes don't count any more. I find that much of the time I now need to use only four words to communicate: "Yes Mam" and "Me too".
Seriously though, nothing says everybody has to do everything with everybody every time. While our 4 generation family does 90% of everything together we do sometimes split up. I DO NOT do roller coasters (can we say protein spill?) and my son-in-law loves them. While he does Rock-n-Roller coaster the rest of us do something else then meet up later.
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Well-Known Member
We compromise. I like different things than others in my family. I used to be on the go all the time and my husband hated that. So now we don't, and I realized that taking it easy is more like a vacation and I don't come home exhausted. If you go often enough then take more down time. Feel free to do your own thing for a while too. DH wants to reride something? Go window shopping then. He wants a few hours to do nothing? Let him and you can go wander yourself for a while.

There is very little in life I will 'dig my heels in" on and I think in general that's a bad idea. As for flights, that's harder. We don't like super early flights but if I can do anywhere from 8-10am we're all happy. Enough to not have to wake up too early.
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Well-Known Member
My BF also hates the early morning flights, but if they are significantly cheaper he will compromise. I find price has the biggest factor for us on flight times than either of our preferences honestly. As for the park touring, I think you've heard it already but don't be afraid to split up! Some solo shopping time can be just the break you need while he rides a few rides a second time and then you can come back together for the next one. With Disney's great transportation options, they really make it so easy to do your own thing if you want!
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