Meh. I was born on the day the MM Club debuted on TV. I went to the Tiki Room when it was an E ticket plus 10 cents. I saw Walt Disney in a parade driving one of his electric cars with the steering bar. I wanted to live in the Monsanto House of the Future. I saw Wally Boag in the Golden/Diamond Horseshoes dozens of times. Dave Smith and David Mumford stayed at my apartment (in two different countries in David's case, but I did not sleep with David for inside info, unlike a certain "reporter" on a site which must not be named). I have a pirate named after me. I toured WED and saw the concept for what would be Buzz, intended for upstairs of the CoP building long before Buzz ever existed. I met Paul Pressler for the first time standing at the urinal in the executive level men's room at Gap Inc. headquarters. I've been through all four TL basements at DL. I saw Elizabeth Taylor leaving Club 33. And speaking of Club 33, I had lunch there for the first time with David Mumford and Greg Brown as guests of Donn Tatum in 1974!
I hated the Babes In Toyland set in the DL Opera House (the MM Club HQ for the early '60s reruns) because there was a sign in the doorway to the emergency exit in the South wall that said "this way to the Forest of No Return" and you couldn't actually go there! I hated on DL for taking away the Monsanto House of the Future and the Flying Saucers (1965 anyone?). I hated how long Tomorrowland was closed--this was THE FUTURE I WAS GOING TO LIVE IN. I hated WDW HM for not having an elevator in the expanding room. I hated WDW for not selecting Honey Rex as the 1974 ambassador (hey, she dated the King of freaking Jordan--what more do you want!). I hated them for building Pirates light at WDW (and I snuck in and walked all through the show building during testing). I hated Tokyo DL for not having an original castle and HM and a train that ran around the whole park (although under Japanese railroad regulations, the latter was virtually impossible). I hated Paris for changing Snow White's castle to yet another Sleeping Beauty's castle (look at the opening animation for the Wonderful World of Disney when they zoomed in on the four resort locations before Paris opened. I hated Hong Kong DL for having DL's castle (small and duplicated) and building half a park. I hated Shanghai's ungly castle on steroids. I hated DCA for even existing. I hated Superstar Limo because STUPID! I hated Light Tragic because BITE ME! I hated new Electrical Parade because small cast, ugly costumes, silly gold ribbon running through floats, and diluted musical score. I hate no Monte Cristo at Blue Bayou. I hate no central planter in the dining room of River Belle. I hate covering up the naked man in the bas relief over the far right door to Stage Door Cafe. I hate the humungous windows on the Club 33 bumpout over the door to Crystal d'Oreans (I don't really care about the off center window over Cafe Orleans). I hate closing the secret exit to Fort Wilderness. I hate losing the specialized security uniforms (US Marshall in Frontierland and Keystone Kop on Main St.). I hate no more (fake) lederhosen at Matterhorn. I hate the closing announcement saying "we hope you have enjoyed your stay in the Magic Kingdom" instead of the traditional "Walt Disney's Magic Kingdom". I hate no more Fantasia ice cream AND I DON'T EVEN *LIKE* FANTASIA ICE CREAM! I hate no more ticket books. I hate being able to go between lands without going through the hub. I hate the Rocket Jets being moved off the platform and no more svelte young women in form-fitting orange jumpsuits. I hate no more live spiel "on behalf of the one million men and women of the Bell System". I hate beyond all human comprehension the abomination that is the Captain Eo theater at DL (no matter what they call it these days). I hate no more glassblower on DL Main St. I hate no more Sara Lee bakery on WDW Main St. (my going away cake at WDW in 1975 was a Sara Lee orange cake decorated there). I hate no more caricature artist in TL (you know, the one drawing in ink on a plastic cel on an overhead projector). I hate no more speakerphone booths in Tomorrowland. I hate no more glock girls with Santa (I was devastated when I found out their luxuriant locks were wigs). I hate no more John, Michael, and Wendy jumping on trampolines on the Peter Pan float in Fantasy on Parade (and they were real kids). I hate no more Blue Fairy, Dumbo circus unit and Small World unit in Electrical Parade. I hate no more sleeping scene in the DL Sleeping Beauty Castle dioramas where you could "snore" into the hidden microphone and hear it echo. I hate the new Little Mermaid scene at the end of Storybookland at DL because it used to be a nondescript curtain and the then hostess would point out that it was "never, never land because we never, never go there".
And I'm just getting started!
So all you haters-come-lately...stand in line. I was hating on Disney for stupidity before you were even born. So get off my lawn!!!
P.S. All of the above is 100% true.
