Girlfriend Mad

[markywebby]

Hi guys,

Just wanted some advice. I have had a holiday booked to Walt Disney World for two years and been talked about for three years with a couple of friends. I was really looking forward to it, then about a year ago I met my girlfriend. She is not happy about me going even though she knew about it from the start. Am I being horrible by still going or do you think I should have cancelled it.

I couldn't add her in to the holiday as my friends wouldn't like it and money would have been an issue. Just wanting advice on whether I'm being a really horrible person here.

Thanks

 

[kstella]

I understand her being angry but it's not like you planned this after you started dating her. Would you pulling out of the trip at this point put your friends out? Maybe you should consider planning a trip just with her. You also need to consider why she's angry-is it because she also wants to go to Disney or is it because she is trying to control you?

 

[markywebby]

Well she's not trying to control me. She thinks me going shows she doesn't mean much to me. My friends would hate me if I didn't go. I'm sure it'll calm down after I'm back. I go on Saturday so can't do much now.

 

[tampabrad]

1. You say if she goes money is an issue. If you don't go, money is an issue as well

2. How old is she? Most adults should knowvthat
sometimes vacations take a lot of planning. Especially with friends, commitments have to be made early.

3. How old is she? Is she upset because she is afraid something bad will happen with her not around? It is WDW, not Vegas or Ibiza.

No, she should not be mad. Jealous, yes. If she knew about the trip from the beginning she could have put her big girl pants on and saved some $$.

 

[jlevis]

Will she expect to be included in all of your activities should you get married? Will you be included in all her activities? Simple fact of life couples have interest and activities that don't necessarily involve the other person.

 

[puntagordabob]

Enjoy yourself at Walt Disney World! If she cannot accept it then too bad for her and you are better off knowing now how she is! If she can accept it then thats a good sign! You could discuss with her to make plans for a second trip in another year or so when you all can afford it and go together.

Either way....after two years of planning your planned trip with your friends should still happen... PERIOD.

 

[BigRedDad]

As you have stated, the money is already gone because the trip is on Saturday. It is too late to make a change.

She knew you were going and had planned this before meeting her. Less than a week before you leave, SHE makes it an issue? Ridiculous. She may be a jealous, but that is her problem. She should not make you feel guilty about going or impact your enjoyment of the trip. If she is truly this bitter about it, consider it a breakup vacation. You don't deserve that.

I know this may be easier said than done, but I would lay down an ultimatum. Tell her you are going, you are going to have a great time, and when you get back you don't want to hear another word from her about going. If she does, kick her to the curb.

 

[Fantasmic]

Go! Just blinking go, you've had it booked since before you met her!

Fwiw, in 2008, my OH got the chance of a lifetime to go on a holiday to the West Coast USA with his mum.
I couldn't go, I wanted to but I couldn't afford it, and he couldn't afford to add me into the holiday due to the circumstances and finances. I was stupidly jealous of him going, but I just let him go and didn't and moan about it, and he had a wonderful time!

Sounds like your girlfriend is being immature, possesive and a bit sad, really!

Have a wonderful vacation!

 

[Master Yoda]

IMHO this is a bad sign of things to come. Sounds like she wants your world to revolve around hers. I'll wager she has a fairly deep jealousy streak as well. Neither issues should be tolerated in a serious relationship and it is incredibly rare that those problems will go away without a major brake check.

Go on your trip and find a better girlfriend when you get back.

 

[kirksheppard]

Definitely go on the trip. And I'd dump the girl . . . but I'll likely always be single. I can't imagine someone important in my life trying to keep me from something I loved . . . "Seeya!" would be the first thing out of my mouth.

 

[WDWmazprty]

Not good. She is obviously not an understanding person first of all. Trip is done and paid for BEFORE you met her, to expect you to change your plans for her just not wanting you to go? sorry, not a good enough reason.

I would tell her that 'if you appreciate me and you would just not make a big deal about this and let me have fun on my trip I've had planned for awhile now.'

Honestly, IMHO, if shes going to make a big deal out of something dumb like this, who know swhat other kind of stuff she'll get upset about in the future.

Have fun dude, and I really hope it works out between you guys.:wave:

 

[olinecoach61]

You are entitled to go on whatever trip you want, your dating, not her property. I think she sounds immature.

 

[Blueskyze]

Go, and have a WONDERFUL time!! Do not let her jealousy ruin your trip. If she really cares about you, she will want you to have this great experience, even if she couldn't be a part of it. Maybe it's a maturity issue, but it's very selfish of her! I think you would really regret it (not to mention end up resenting her) if you canceled. I take annual trips with my girlfriends, and my husband would never, ever dream of asking me not to go. And I wouldn't have married him if he had. :lol:

 

[SleepingMonk]

99 Problems

 

[Patrick_Ears]

I would go... I don't even think i would take her.

 

[Mr mom]

Yikes, I think she has the issue to be honest... When I started dating my wife she had planned a big trip to Daytona for the 500. I knew about it for a year. I was jealous to some extent but it was something she had planned, I tracked the exchange rates for her for months and bought her some stuff for the trip, although it was a little lonely, as the first years are the golden ones in any new relationship. I was extremely happy for her getting to go and have fun. A relationship is about understanding and a little give and take. Making such a big issue out of a vacation that was planned well in advance of the relationship, seems rather petty to me.

 

[eeyoremum]

Well she's not trying to control me. She thinks me going shows she doesn't mean much to me. My friends would hate me if I didn't go. I'm sure it'll calm down after I'm back. I go on Saturday so can't do much now.

This line speaks volumes to me. It is kind of controlling in a way. If you don't do things with her 24/7 you don't care about her? You don't say an age but maybe she is just young although if my DS girlfriend was this way I would suggest he run for the hills and not look back.

I would go and have a great time. Bring her a really nice present back Then maybe start planning a trip with just her.

 

[rsoxguy]

Plan A:

1. Cancel the trip, and wish your friends well as they embark on a great vacation.
2. Rent a chick-flick, and buy plenty of popcorn.
3. Spend some quality time with your girlfriend as you lend her a shoulder on which to cry during the movie.
4. Go shopping with her and offer to hold her purse while she tries on the twentieth outfit that she has no intention of actually purchasing.
5. Talk to your friends on the phone. Oh, wait, they’ll be too busy having fun at Disney World to talk.


Plan B:

1. Remind your girlfriend of the circumstances involved in the planning of this trip.
2. Assure her that your relationship is secure, and that you will indeed miss her while you are gone.
3. Tell her that her jealousy concerning your joy, and her inability to allow you to have a good time if she is not involved, are not signs of good things to come within your relationship.
4. Buy plenty of sunblock on the way to the airport.


Yeah, “B” sounds better.

 

[puntagordabob]

Plan A:

1. Cancel the trip, and wish your friends well as they embark on a great vacation.
2. Rent a chick-flick, and buy plenty of popcorn.
3. Spend some quality time with your girlfriend as you lend her a shoulder on which to cry during the movie.
4. Go shopping with her and offer to hold her purse while she tries on the twentieth outfit that she has no intention of actually purchasing.
5. Talk to your friends on the phone. Oh, wait, they’ll be too busy having fun at Disney World to talk.


Plan B:

1. Remind your girlfriend of the circumstances involved in the planning of this trip.
2. Assure her that your relationship is secure, and that you will indeed miss her while you are gone.
3. Tell her that her jealousy concerning your joy, and her inability to allow you to have a good time if she is not involved, are not signs of good things to come within your relationship.
4. Buy plenty of sunblock on the way to the airport.


Yeah, “B” sounds better.

B is the only option imho.... but add a #5 drink a lot of water its hot here in Florida!

 

[pixiesteno]

Go on your trip, you made her aware of the trip when you began dating so this isn't a surprise to her. It is not like you planned this after you began dating and left her out. Even if you did, there are such things as "guy trips" and "girl trips". I do know that DH got a little miffed when I took off for 4 days to WDW with my sister in law because he couldn't go but he eventually got over it. She needs to grow up and be happy for you or find someone else that will put up with her control issues.