Family Members Who Would Love to Come to WDW but Can't Afford it

[NOLADisneyFan]

Ok, everyone here is the situation:

My mom is a widow (dad passed away a few years ago). She is disabled, on a very limited income and lives with me and DW. DW is pregnant with our first child (and mom's first grandchild). The baby is due in Feb. and DW and I are planning a Thanksgiving trip.

We have spoken with my entire family and everyone is hip on going to WDW with us. Both of my mom's siblings, their kids and grandkids (my cousins), all involved spouse(s), etc. So it will be a family blowout at WDW!

The problem is, mom keeps saying she doesn't have the money to go. Both my aunt and I have already said that we will cover her trip...she only needs to bring a little souvenir money if she wants. Everything else is on us. But she says she doesn't want to "mooch" off of us. We have assured her that she is not, but it seems like she is still nervous of that.

The other issue is my grandfather. He is an elderly man, and we want him to come too. He's 87 now, and ambulates with the assistance of a walker.

I'm scared that he will try to say that he can't go.

We live in New Orleans, so it would be about an 8 - 10 hour ride for them.

You guys are the most upbeat people with the greatest ideas on how to persuade...how can I:

A) Convince my mom that she needs to come and be with us; and
B) Convince my grandfather that he has to come also.

It seems that with mom we need to focus on the money issue and the getting around the parks issue and with my grandfather, the getting around the parks issue.

Any ideas?

Thanks a bunch!

 

[baz212]

If she is physically able to baby-sit, tell she can pay you back with extra baby-sitting after the baby is born. That's what my sister-in-law is doing to pay us back for the portion of her trip in May that we're paying for, including watching him one night while in WDW so DH and I can have a nice dinner and go to pleasure island.

 

[Nemo14]

How about if you make arrangements with your mom that you will trade her some babysitting time for a trip to WDW? That way she'll feel like she's earning it at least. As far as your grandfather is concerned, make sure that he understands that for his own safety, he will need a wheelchair or scooter while he is there. If he objects to that, remind him of how much walking he'd be doing, and how crowded it can get at times.
Good luck with it all - where are you planning to stay?

 

[miles1]

I always wondered where my mom went in the afterlife. Apparently, she went to live with you. :ROFLOL:

My mom was the same way. She was never a traveler when she was younger, and after dad passed away she found every excuse in the book to get out of going anywhere.

It sounds to me like she's afraid of going for other reasons and is using the money issue to avoid explaining the real reasons. This could be guilt (how can I have such a good time without my husband?), or fear of a physical limitation (8 to 10 hours is a long time in the car for an elderly person when they have to visit the bathroom often.)

If it's the guilt issue, you will have to have heart-to-heart talk with her and let her know it's OK to still enjoy life a little. If it's a physical issue, let her know that you will be more than willing to take frequent breaks, even if it makes the trip a lot longer. If it gets to exhausting, she can always spend some quiet time at the hotel by herself. Explain how elderly friendly WDW is, and that there is no shame in riding in a wheelchair occasionally as there are thousands everyday in WDW that do so.

Another tactic is to make her feel needed. Explain that you would like to have a romantic dinner together, and were hoping she would come to baby sit for a couple of hours one evening while you went out.

If all else fails, there's always reverse guilt. Tell both of them that everyone will have a miserable time unless they come, as you will be constantly thinking about them at home alone.

Sorry if I'm psychoanalyzing, but I've been there before.

Question: How many Italian sons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer: "None, I'll just sit here in the dark."

Good Luck.

 

[mickey&me]

A little underhanded, but pay for the ticket, then tell her you've done it and it's too late for her to object.

 

[amykissangel]

I think you can convince her to come...a little nudging, a little "Oh, here's your plane ticket as a birthday gift," and "Oops, here's your Park Hopper as a Christmas gift" will make her feel like she's not getting something "for free." You had to get her a present, so you got her this trip instead.

Your grandfather, on the other hand...

Just make sure you don't push him to do something he physically can't do. I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel...you know he would have a wonderful time and you don't want him to be excluded, and you'll miss him if he doesn't come!

Just remember - if you're going in the summer, it is 90+ degrees out. Regular people wilt in the heat; the elderly can have problems with heart attacks and strokes, etc. If he uses a walker, he will get trampeled at Disney. Not because people are rude or mean, but because that's just the way it goes. People are pushing through or kids are running and you wouldn't want him to fall and hurt himself. Will he use a wheelchair? Sometimes people are too proud for them, but they would make his trip SO much more enjoyable...

If he can't go, make sure to take lots of pictures, call him frequently, and bring him back a bunch o' souveniers... ;~) Planning a June vacay for family of 17...taking a lot of work but it's fun!! Good luck!

 

[Eyekimore]

I would really emphasize the "Family trip" part. It's your family trip. You are a HUGE part of this family- we want you there. Time together as family is precious. We need to enjoy and cherish it. What better place than WDW?

 

[beanbunny]

If your grandfather is healthy enough, try convincing him to come by saying riding in the wheelchair will help everyone - ie special handicapped seating during the parades and Illuminations, easier bus travel, even easier entrance onto some of the rides. We've been taking my dad for 30 years - he was also 87 on his last trip. For the last few years, he balked at the wheelchair but, when we finally convinced him he would be helping everyone, his attitude changed. By the way, his favorite ride of all time is "Soarin'" - but only if he can ride on the highest level!!!!! Good luck! :wave:

 

[palmage]

A little underhanded, but pay for the ticket, then tell her you've done it and it's too late for her to object.

That's what I was going say, just make the arrangements and tell her when the time gets closer.

 

[NOLADisneyFan]

Thanks for all the great tips!

Please keep them coming!

For those that inquired...we are planning to be there Thanksgiving 2008. So we won't have to worry too much about excessive heat for my mom and grandfather.

Aside from that, we LOVE POFQ and want to stay there. Of course, if we could get the Poly, or Contemporary or GF, we would love it, but I think they are a bit out of the family's price range.

I look forward to more ideas! Thanks again!

 

[PigletIsMyCat]

First, going around Thanksgiving might be a little busy, but you should have lovely weather.

About Grandpa: get him an ECV. It will be easier to get around the parks with that than a walker, and you won't have to worry about him getting too tired or overexerting himself. You can rent them at the parks each day, or contact a scooter/ECV rental comany in Orlando - there are a ton of them - and rent it for the entire time you're visitng, then he could use it in the resorts, off-property, etc. The issue of him needing assistance to walk is not big enough to negate a Disney vacation.

As for your mother: I kind of agree with everyone. There may be some deep feelings there and the money thing might be a screen for it. Try having a discussion with her in private, and like another poster said, stress the FAMILY vacation. Basically, everyone else in your family has signed on. Does she really want to miss old Aunty Esther on Big Thunder Mountain?? Does she want to miss your newborn baby's first ride on Dumbo? Guilt works both ways - from parent to child and back again. And the babysitting idea is just perfect. No grandmother can resist babysitting (or so I've been told!) and it would be a great opportunity for you and a few other members of your family around the same age to hit Adventurer's Club or the bars for a night.

And, if it really is just the money thing, sit Mom down and give her the old 'you did so much for me/us when I was growing up/in college/first married, I want to be able to do something for you'. It worked for me: my parents got divorced in 1986 and I convinced them to go on a family vacation (mom is widowed, dad divorced again) with my DH and brother in 2005, a month before the 19th anniversary of their divorce papers being signed.

 

[Mr Starky]

Ok, everyone here is the situation:

My mom is a widow (dad passed away a few years ago). She is disabled, on a very limited income and lives with me and DW. DW is pregnant with our first child (and mom's first grandchild). The baby is due in Feb. and DW and I are planning a Thanksgiving trip.

We have spoken with my entire family and everyone is hip on going to WDW with us. Both of my mom's siblings, their kids and grandkids (my cousins), all involved spouse(s), etc. So it will be a family blowout at WDW!

The problem is, mom keeps saying she doesn't have the money to go. Both my aunt and I have already said that we will cover her trip...she only needs to bring a little souvenir money if she wants. Everything else is on us. But she says she doesn't want to "mooch" off of us. We have assured her that she is not, but it seems like she is still nervous of that.

The other issue is my grandfather. He is an elderly man, and we want him to come too. He's 87 now, and ambulates with the assistance of a walker.

I'm scared that he will try to say that he can't go.

We live in New Orleans, so it would be about an 8 - 10 hour ride for them.

You guys are the most upbeat people with the greatest ideas on how to persuade...how can I:

A) Convince my mom that she needs to come and be with us; and
B) Convince my grandfather that he has to come also.

It seems that with mom we need to focus on the money issue and the getting around the parks issue and with my grandfather, the getting around the parks issue.

Any ideas?

Thanks a bunch!

Here's an idea. Would it be at all possible for you to give the WDW trip to your Mom as a gift? I.E. Christmas gift or Birthday gift? This way, your mom wouldn't be able to say that she owed you anything because it would be a gift. Besides maybe you ought to remind her that you will never be able to repay all the years of giving and sacrifice that she gave to you. :animwink:

 

[JimboJones123]

Short of Duct Tape, we've run into the same situation with Mother-In-Law. Her mom died last year adn she won't go. She says it makes her too sad having fun with her family. We've invited her twice and even made reservations around it. But she won't budge.

We keep trying, but she just won't let herself enjoy it. Hope your results are better.

 

[TTFN-Tiggger]

As for you mom - give it to her as a Christmas gift. She will be glad she did go once you convience her!! I did that last year for my sister. Paid for the flight, hotel and tickets. She only needed money for food and shopping. She is so glad she went. She still talks about the fireworks from MK and the lights at MGM. I am doing this for my sister and family this year. Paying for air, hotel tickets -they have an 8 yr old little girl that has wanted to go for a couple of years and they just can not swing it. It was HARD not to buy them any gifts but when we go in March it will be worth!

 

[ConstanceIrene]

If all else fails, there's always reverse guilt. Tell both of them that everyone will have a miserable time unless they come, as you will be constantly thinking about them at home alone.

I like that! It really could work as most people believe what they want to believe.

In case that idea doesn't work, how about building a "stash" of money to pay for mom's expenses. Funds toward her trip could be given at Mother's Day, on her birthday, etc... and the fund would definitely add up by Thanksgiving.

As far as the older gentleman goes, look into the cost of renting a scooter so he can feel independent if he comes along.