Ex being a jerk over DW trip

[Patcheslee]

Kinda Disney related but just wanna vent. My husband and I have been planning a Disney vacation for June of this year since August. I was nice and spoke with DD8s father (my ex of 3 years) just to see if he is okay with missing his weekend with her because we wanted to go for a whole week. Up until this weekend he has been okay with it, thought it was great she would get to go. She would be at his place for the whole week before we leave so that he has time with her and give us time to pack since it's a suprise. Now he's changed his mind and says it's taking his time away from him. I'm just seriously ticked right now. Off subject he doesn't even pay his measly 40 a week child support, not one cent in 3 years. And now he triesaid to throw in my face that if we can afford a vacation there's no reason to give money. Excuse me but I've been depositing 40 a week into a college fund and had told him from the beginning that's where his support would go also!! It just ticks me off someone is so selfish they'd rather their kid miss a trip because of flimsy excuses. I was just a B and asked if he wanted to take his complaint up with the court when he goes back about his support payments not being made next month. Aaaahhhh okay better....

 

[steviej]

ugh, so sorry you're going through that. Take her no matter what that knucklehead says. (I'm from Jersey, I have way worse words I can use, I just love the forums and don't wanna get kicked off )

I went through something slightly similar with my own selfish father. Same thing, my mom is remarried.

When I was 18, the thursday night before Father's Day, my childhood dog unexpectedly passed away. Me, my mom, and my stepdad were heartbroken.

The next day, we were sitting in the house and we were talking about how we didn't want to be in the house. My mom said let's go to disney.

Lo and behold, we were able to get reasonable flights and a hotel from that night through that monday, we already had AP's.

When I called my father from the airport (he knew my dog had passed away and how crushed I was) and told him we were going to Disney to get out of the house, he started crying and had the audacity to say, "you're leaving me on Father's Day weekend?"

To this day, I have never forgiven him for that.

I hope it works out, I'm sure it will.

 

[DisneyPrincess5]

Sorry you're going through that-that's aggravating, immature, and selfish. You did the right thing by asking and talking it out with your ex as some people wouldn't. From what you're saying, the compromise sounds more than reasonable with time being divided, and it's not fair for him to say "ok" to it for all this time and now go back on it. ESPECIALLY when he's not even holding up his end of the support payment bargain. Meaning, it's not even like he has all his ducks in a row and can have a hair of leverage to get his way heard out albeit unreasonable. He's not even doing the minimum of what he is expected to do legally, yet feels he has the ability to influence this or go back on this agreement. Entitlement. Does he expect his child to never get to go on a vacation with her mother and step-father? That would be highly unfair to her considering she wants to go which I'm sure she does very much so. He needs therapy and a higher power.

Aaaanyway, sorry again. If it comes to a head, just be super calm and state the facts of this exchange. He's getting more than enough time which he was in agreement wtih all this time, and then you're going away. It is what it is. This is about your daughter enjoying her childhood which she only gets one of and he should be thankful that you and your husband can give this to her and have a happy life together. He clearly has feelings about it and I get that. But he needs to deal with it on his own meaning this is a him problem, not a you or your daughter problem, not interfere with you. Nothing unreasonable or unfair is happening here, other than the fact that he isn't paying child support which makes him look bad not you. Due to that factor alone, he should stay quiet about this I'd presume because all you've gotta do is go back to court for lack of payment which he obviously wouldn't want you to do.

 

[contrariwise]

I was just a B and asked if he wanted to take his complaint up with the court when he goes back about his support payments not being made next month. Aaaahhhh okay better....

Well done.

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Ugh. So sorry to hear you're going through this.

Advice (coming from a lawyer's daughter): since your ex is being such a jerk, try to get agreements over text. That way, you have proof that he agreed should he decide to cause any trouble.