Evilgidgit's Flicks Fixer-Upper Thread

[Evilgidgit]

Hidi-ho, neighbourinos! Welcome to my brand new ongoing series!

EVILGIDGIT'S FLICKS FIXER-UPPER THREAD (aka I couldn't come up with a better title!)

As you might guess, in this thread, I'll be reimagining or fixing films that I think could've been better. I've been doing this for a long time, and you've seen a couple of my recreations like with The Aristocats. I won't necessarily be focusing entirely on Disney films, but any old movie that might bother me, or don't work properly, or are just plain garbage. If you guys have any requestions, suggestions, or even ideas, please join in the creative fun.

I do tend to blather on a bit, and most of my rewritings are five pages and over, so I'll try to use some brevity in these projects.

One Note - I won't be rewriting ANY Star Wars films or the DCEU. Other, better writers have done those and they've been done to death.

So, what's first? A decent sequel to a dearly beloved Disney classic.

TRON LEGACY (2010)

Tron Legacy was a fun sequel to the classic Tron, with some exciting action sequences, a fantastic score by Daft Punk, and it was nice to see Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner return to the story. But, Legacy fails in telling an engaging story. The only real interesting character is Clu, but the CGI used on Jeff Bridges is terrifying. There are themes of abandonment related to Flynn, Sam, and Clu, but the external conflicts never link to the internal conflicts. No one really goes through any character arcs. What made the ISOs so special? What was Quorra’s true conflict with Castor? How was she able to leave the Grid, and how did the Master Key Disc allow Clu and his army to accomplish this? Let’s rewrite Tron Legacy and make this sequel a little more linear and entertaining.

The film opens in 1989, where Kevin Flynn has become the CEO of Encom International, which has expanded from video games to technological innovations. Flynn often boasts about developing new technology to usher in a new future like no other, but no one quite knows how he'll pull this off. Flynn's son Sam is unintentionally neglected by his father, despite being enthralled with his tales of Tron and the Grid. Flynn promises to take Sam to the old arcade and share his dreams with his son. However, Flynn disappears and is never seen again, leaving both Sam and Encom abandoned.

Encom nearly collapses with Flynn's disappearance, and undergoes a controversial shift in 1995, leading to new management being brought in, many layoffs, and the games division being shutdown. For years, Sam is expected to succeed his father, but his resentment towards Flynn prevents Sam from doing so, pursuing frivolous hobbies, and playing an annual prank on Encom out of a mix of amusement and spite. Some think Sam's pranks are in his dad's name, but that is far from the truth. Sam has come to disregard and hate everything his father built, but impulsively visits his dad's arcade whenever he feels like it. Sam hasn't really grown up, still holding on his grudge, but also a hidden hope that his father will come home.

We cut to around 2010, and Encom is now an uncreative, soulless, money-grubbing corporation run by a board of suits, save Alan Bradley, who has the honouary title of Executive Consultant, but is basically powerless. Sam hacks into Encom's system on the day that they are to release their new Encom OS.12, essentially the old version in a new wrapper, at a ridiculous price. Sam steals the new system and puts it online for free. Whilst Encom's executives panics, cool-headed golden boy Ed Dillinger Jr. (son of Ed Dillinger) sends out a message saying it is a publicity stunt. Sam escapes jail with help from Alan. Going to the arcade, Alan tells Sam that his old pager received a glitchy message from Flynn. Sam, alone, tracks the source of the message to an old computer housed in Encom's archives, attached to Walter Gibbs' laser. He messes around with it and gets zapped into the Grid.

The Grid is mostly slick, streamlined, and covered in neon lights, but also parts of it are buggy and glitching. Instead of appearing in his clothes, Sam appears in a User outfit. Sam gets arrested by guards, and when they notice he lacks a disc, he is automatically sent off to participate in the Games. Though Sam is at first enthralled he finally saw his father’s creation, he notices it is flawed, all of the guards are identical, and the only Programs being taken to the Games are disfigured or glitchy. Sam is puzzled by this, since Flynn was such a perfectionist.

At the colosseum, Sam receives his disc from Quorra, instead of four random ladies, who recognises him as a User and advices him to survive. Sam participates in a Disc War, but upon seeing other Programs being derezzed, he tries to flee, but is arrested by the helmeted Rinzler. They get into a disc duel, but Rinzler stops when he realises Sam is a User. Sam is taken to a private chamber where he meets the "Great Upgrader" - who unmasks himself as Flynn, who hasn't aged a day. Of course, we know this is Clu, posing as Flynn. Clu embraces his "son", claiming he has mastered the Grid's potential, overcoming aging. He claims the Grid is both evolving but degrading, thanks to the renegade "Clu", who was exiled, and stole the Master Key Disc, which would allow Sam to go home. Sam agrees, but isn't without his suspicions.

Clu provides him with an ATV and a guard to accompany him (and likely kill him). But, as they drive off into the wasteland, Quorra leaps into the vehicle and chucks the guard out, revealing Sam has been lied too, and is the second User to appear on the Grid. Quorra introduces herself, telling Sam that he is safe with her. They travel off-grid, through secret caverns, and into the home of the actual, now elderly Kevin Flynn. Sam and Flynn have, at first, a joyful reunion, but soon questions need answering. Flynn has been trapped in the Grid for years, and was betrayed by Clu, who was programmed to create the perfect computer system.

In flashback, we see Flynn's goals was to use the Grid to perfect technology and AI, which could later be brought to Earth to benefit mankind. But, Flynn found his system had limits, as the Programs could not think outside the box or act spontaneously, and they required a purpose or would break down.
That is when the ISOs appeared. Isomorphic algorithms, or ISOs, weren’t exactly Programs, but something more. They weren’t bound by programming or limitations, they could think for themselves spontaneously. They evolved from the Grid on their own. Artificial intelligence like no other. Closer examination of their code revealed each one was unique, like a human’s DNA. During this conversation, the camera lingers on Quorra, hinting at her origins. Flynn favoured the ISOs, believing their uniqueness could achieve the dream he was hoping for. Perhaps even revolutionise society in the real world and fix all of the problems. Once Flynn, Clu, Tron and the ISOs had perfected the Grid, the ISOs would be taken to Earth to work their wonders. Flynn theorised due to the unique code of the ISOs, they could potentially materialise in the real world via the laser. But, Flynn's vision had its problems, including Clu.

We cut back to Clu, who is watching another rounds of the Games. He is joined by his subordinate, Dyson, a scarred character from Tron Uprising, who has a grudge against the ISOs. Clu tells Dyson that since Sam has arrived and likely found Flynn, they must quicken their final plan, but need the Master Key Disc. He commands Dyson to round-up all non-essential Programs to put them through a modification process. Flynn, Rinzler, and Dyson decide to set out to find and kill Sam and Flynn.

Flynn continues his story to Sam - the ISOs could think outside the box, be artistic and spontaneous in design, but this left many Programs without a purpose. Flynn ignored the civil discourse, too busy looking to perfect his vision. We see Tron and Dyson trying to break up a riot between Programs and ISOs, but someone throws a disc at Dyson, scarring him, and the ISOs are blamed. Clu eventually became convinced that the ISOs were an abhorrent, threatening the system, betrayed Flynn, and exterminated the ISOs. Flynn has to go into hiding, whilst Tron left a resistance for a time, but he too disappeared. Flynn was smart enough to bring his own supplies with him to create a greenhouse, artificial sunlight, and a water supply to live.

Sam wants to go home, learning returning to Encom could allow Clu's data to be deleted, but Flynn is afraid to try, since Users can die on the Grid. Sam doesn't believe this, believing his dad just doesn't want to leave. After Flynn goes to rest, Quorra offers to help Sam, revealing she is an ISO herself. She was smuggled around the Grid by another Program, implied to be her father, and works for Flynn as a friend, spy, and agent. She owes Flynn, but is eager to shut down Clu. She demonstrates an uncanny ability to alter her data at will, including her appearance, and build and alter things beyond their original designs. The two steal Flynn's Lightcycle and the Master Key Program, and head out to find a Program named Castor, an information broker. Flynn wakes up later, finding Sam and Quorra gone. He has to flee his home when Clu makes an unexpected house call. Clu destroys the lair, and learns that Flynn's Lightcycle has been spotted on the Grid, deploying Rinzler.

Sam and Quorra hide their Lightcycle and sneak into the End of the Line Club, a neutral, social spot for Programs to chill out, but also used as a backroom for smuggling data, etc. They meet the eccentric party animal Castor, appearing to be based on David Bowie. Quorra disguises herself as an intel Program, but Castor recognises her, regarding her with a parental tone, hinting he is her parent, possibly even an ISO himself. In a backroom, Castor reveals his true name is Zeus, a revered Program who smuggled ISOs around the Grid during Clu's purge, but all died save Quorra. Learning Sam and Quorra wish to reach the Portal, Zeus suggests they use the old solar sailor transport to bypass Clu's checkpoints, though it does pass through an older, glitching part of the Grid. Zeus assumes these glitches were made by each version of the Encom OS, each dumped atop the last without deleting the data beneath.

Rinzler arrives to purge the club, targeting Sam and Quorra, who flee to their Lightcycle. Zeus holds off Rinzler, but Flynn appears in another Lightcycle, running Rinzler over, shattering his helmet, revealing he is a corrupted Tron. Our heroes jump into Lightcycles, and race through the Grid, chased by Rinzler and his minions. During the chase, Sam gets a little reckless and cocky, treating the chase as a game. But, his recklessness costs them. Flynn is nearly killed by Rinzler, forcing Quorra to ram her Lightcycle into his, and loses an arm, going into some sort of glitching coma. Flynn rescues her, but loses the Master Key Disc to Rinzler. Sam, Flynn, and Quorra are knocked right off the Grid, tumbling down into a dark abyss. Rinzler delivers the disc to Clu, who has Zeus executed.

Now on foot, Sam and Flynn argue, finally letting their emotions run freely, Sam raging at his father for leaving him alone for so many years. Flynn can only apologise, hugging his son. Quorra recovers on her own, another gift of the ISOs, but tells them that humans are far more complicated than Programs. They travel through an older part of the Grid, resembling locations from Tron, and find the solar sailer. Flynn is heartbroken when he finds the sailer is controlled by the surviving data of Yori, thought to have been derezzed, but downloaded her basic systems and disc into the sailer. But, she a mere ghost of her former self, and Flynn would only fragment her data if he tried to save her.

On the sailer, Sam, Quorra, and Flynn discuss the real world. Flynn mourns his parents, and what has become of Encom, whilst Quorra is fascinated by the real world, wishing to witness the sunrise. Flynn hopes Sam will take control of Encom and do some good with it, though Sam reads this as Flynn planning not to return home. The sailer suddenly comes to a juddering halt, and they realise the track has been demolished. In its place, they find a large flying fortress built by Clu, on its way to the Portal. Sneaking onboard, they discover the lower levels are a gigantic modification system, with Programs being replicated into obedient guards. Flynn guesses Clu is building an army, not for the Grid, but to invade Earth with. His idea of a perfect system would spread to Earth, though Sam is sceptical on how he could pull that off, since only things from the real world could be returned there. That, and ISOs.

Sam and Flynn go to steal the Master Key Disc, whilst Quorra commandeers an aircraft for them, but is caught by Rinzler and Dyson. The Flynns witness Clu giving a speech to his army, promising to never betray or abandon them. Flynn realises Clu feels he was abandoned as well. Sam and Flynn catch Rinzler and Dyson escorting Quorra to Clu, and ambush them. In the scuffle, Flynn hacks Rinzler’s system, discovering Clu has inserted a shell program in and destroys it, freeing Tron. Tron protects the others from Dyson, and reluctantly derezzes him. Tron collapses, plagued by a self-replicating algorithm inserted into his code by Clu, that recreates the Rinzler shell program. Before he is taken over again, Tron aids Sam to steal the Master Key Disc. He then warns Flynn that the Portal is protected by a shield, one they are most familiar with – the Master Control Program.

Sam, Flynn, and Quorra leg it in a gunship, just as Clu finds out the disc has been stolen. He considers executing Rinzler, but changes his mind, valuing him as a friend. They and a group of soldiers pursue our heroes towards the Portal, leading to a dogfight. However, Tron overcomes his programming once again and crashes his ship into Clu’s. Clu is heartbroken (or as hurt as a Program can be emotionally) by Tron’s betrayal, and steals another ship to chase after Flynn, whilst Tron tumbles down into darkness, his fate ambiguous.

Flynn, Sam, and Quorra reach the Portal at last, finding the MCU has been revived and is guarding it. Whilst Quorra works to breach the MCU’s shield, Clu appears to confront Flynn. The two have the same discussion as in the actual movie. Clu vents his anger at Flynn for abandoning him and favouring the ISOs, and even though Flynn chastises Clu, he knows that he was just fulfilling his mission. Clu then reveals he will go onto the Earth and fulfil his purpose there. When queried, Clu, with some sense of disgust, admits he has merged himself with the code of several ISOs to escape to the real world.

Rather than getting into a fight, Flynn convinces Clu that he has fulfilled his purpose, but not in the way he intended. Flynn understands he has to learn from his mistakes. Flynn and Clu merge into one being, and aids Sam and Quorra to breach the MCU’s shield in similar fashion to the original film. Flynn gives Sam the disc, shoving him and Quorra into the Portal, telling them that he cannot follow, his fusion with Clu making it impossible to return home, despite merging with ISO data. Father and son have an emotional farewell, but Sam promises he will be back.

Later, Sam approaches Alan at the arcade, informing him that he has decided to take back the company, inviting both of them to help him restructure Encom. Alan asks about Flynn, Sam claiming that he is around. Sam leaves, finding Quorra outside, and they drive off to witness a sunset together.

 

[Suchomimus]

The Beauty and the beast remake?

 

[Evilgidgit]

The Beauty and the beast remake?

I have rewritten a version of that before, but the only major change I did was that Forte was reworked as the Beast's dad. There isn't really much point to rewrite a remake.

 

[mickeyfan5534]

I have rewritten a version of that before, but the only major change I did was that Forte was reworked as the Beast's dad. There isn't really much point to rewrite a remake.

Why try it when there was no point to remaking a near perfect film in the first place?

 

[kmbmw777]

Hidi-ho, neighbourinos! Welcome to my brand new ongoing series!

EVILGIDGIT'S FLICKS FIXER-UPPER THREAD (aka I couldn't come up with a better title!)

As you might guess, in this thread, I'll be reimagining or fixing films that I think could've been better. I've been doing this for a long time, and you've seen a couple of my recreations like with The Aristocats. I won't necessarily be focusing entirely on Disney films, but any old movie that might bother me, or don't work properly, or are just plain garbage. If you guys have any requestions, suggestions, or even ideas, please join in the creative fun.

I do tend to blather on a bit, and most of my rewritings are five pages and over, so I'll try to use some brevity in these projects.

One Note - I won't be rewriting ANY Star Wars films or the DCEU. Other, better writers have done those and they've been done to death.

So, what's first? A decent sequel to a dearly beloved Disney classic.

TRON LEGACY (2010)

Tron Legacy was a fun sequel to the classic Tron, with some exciting action sequences, a fantastic score by Daft Punk, and it was nice to see Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner return to the story. But, Legacy fails in telling an engaging story. The only real interesting character is Clu, but the CGI used on Jeff Bridges is terrifying. There are themes of abandonment related to Flynn, Sam, and Clu, but the external conflicts never link to the internal conflicts. No one really goes through any character arcs. What made the ISOs so special? What was Quorra’s true conflict with Castor? How was she able to leave the Grid, and how did the Master Key Disc allow Clu and his army to accomplish this? Let’s rewrite Tron Legacy and make this sequel a little more linear and entertaining.

The film opens in 1989, where Kevin Flynn has become the CEO of Encom International, which has expanded from video games to technological innovations. Flynn often boasts about developing new technology to usher in a new future like no other, but no one quite knows how he'll pull this off. Flynn's son Sam is unintentionally neglected by his father, despite being enthralled with his tales of Tron and the Grid. Flynn promises to take Sam to the old arcade and share his dreams with his son. However, Flynn disappears and is never seen again, leaving both Sam and Encom abandoned.

Encom nearly collapses with Flynn's disappearance, and undergoes a controversial shift in 1995, leading to new management being brought in, many layoffs, and the games division being shutdown. For years, Sam is expected to succeed his father, but his resentment towards Flynn prevents Sam from doing so, pursuing frivolous hobbies, and playing an annual prank on Encom out of a mix of amusement and spite. Some think Sam's pranks are in his dad's name, but that is far from the truth. Sam has come to disregard and hate everything his father built, but impulsively visits his dad's arcade whenever he feels like it. Sam hasn't really grown up, still holding on his grudge, but also a hidden hope that his father will come home.

We cut to around 2010, and Encom is now an uncreative, soulless, money-grubbing corporation run by a board of suits, save Alan Bradley, who has the honouary title of Executive Consultant, but is basically powerless. Sam hacks into Encom's system on the day that they are to release their new Encom OS.12, essentially the old version in a new wrapper, at a ridiculous price. Sam steals the new system and puts it online for free. Whilst Encom's executives panics, cool-headed golden boy Ed Dillinger Jr. (son of Ed Dillinger) sends out a message saying it is a publicity stunt. Sam escapes jail with help from Alan. Going to the arcade, Alan tells Sam that his old pager received a glitchy message from Flynn. Sam, alone, tracks the source of the message to an old computer housed in Encom's archives, attached to Walter Gibbs' laser. He messes around with it and gets zapped into the Grid.

The Grid is mostly slick, streamlined, and covered in neon lights, but also parts of it are buggy and glitching. Instead of appearing in his clothes, Sam appears in a User outfit. Sam gets arrested by guards, and when they notice he lacks a disc, he is automatically sent off to participate in the Games. Though Sam is at first enthralled he finally saw his father’s creation, he notices it is flawed, all of the guards are identical, and the only Programs being taken to the Games are disfigured or glitchy. Sam is puzzled by this, since Flynn was such a perfectionist.

At the colosseum, Sam receives his disc from Quorra, instead of four random ladies, who recognises him as a User and advices him to survive. Sam participates in a Disc War, but upon seeing other Programs being derezzed, he tries to flee, but is arrested by the helmeted Rinzler. They get into a disc duel, but Rinzler stops when he realises Sam is a User. Sam is taken to a private chamber where he meets the "Great Upgrader" - who unmasks himself as Flynn, who hasn't aged a day. Of course, we know this is Clu, posing as Flynn. Clu embraces his "son", claiming he has mastered the Grid's potential, overcoming aging. He claims the Grid is both evolving but degrading, thanks to the renegade "Clu", who was exiled, and stole the Master Key Disc, which would allow Sam to go home. Sam agrees, but isn't without his suspicions.

Clu provides him with an ATV and a guard to accompany him (and likely kill him). But, as they drive off into the wasteland, Quorra leaps into the vehicle and chucks the guard out, revealing Sam has been lied too, and is the second User to appear on the Grid. Quorra introduces herself, telling Sam that he is safe with her. They travel off-grid, through secret caverns, and into the home of the actual, now elderly Kevin Flynn. Sam and Flynn have, at first, a joyful reunion, but soon questions need answering. Flynn has been trapped in the Grid for years, and was betrayed by Clu, who was programmed to create the perfect computer system.

In flashback, we see Flynn's goals was to use the Grid to perfect technology and AI, which could later be brought to Earth to benefit mankind. But, Flynn found his system had limits, as the Programs could not think outside the box or act spontaneously, and they required a purpose or would break down.
That is when the ISOs appeared. Isomorphic algorithms, or ISOs, weren’t exactly Programs, but something more. They weren’t bound by programming or limitations, they could think for themselves spontaneously. They evolved from the Grid on their own. Artificial intelligence like no other. Closer examination of their code revealed each one was unique, like a human’s DNA. During this conversation, the camera lingers on Quorra, hinting at her origins. Flynn favoured the ISOs, believing their uniqueness could achieve the dream he was hoping for. Perhaps even revolutionise society in the real world and fix all of the problems. Once Flynn, Clu, Tron and the ISOs had perfected the Grid, the ISOs would be taken to Earth to work their wonders. Flynn theorised due to the unique code of the ISOs, they could potentially materialise in the real world via the laser. But, Flynn's vision had its problems, including Clu.

We cut back to Clu, who is watching another rounds of the Games. He is joined by his subordinate, Dyson, a scarred character from Tron Uprising, who has a grudge against the ISOs. Clu tells Dyson that since Sam has arrived and likely found Flynn, they must quicken their final plan, but need the Master Key Disc. He commands Dyson to round-up all non-essential Programs to put them through a modification process. Flynn, Rinzler, and Dyson decide to set out to find and kill Sam and Flynn.

Flynn continues his story to Sam - the ISOs could think outside the box, be artistic and spontaneous in design, but this left many Programs without a purpose. Flynn ignored the civil discourse, too busy looking to perfect his vision. We see Tron and Dyson trying to break up a riot between Programs and ISOs, but someone throws a disc at Dyson, scarring him, and the ISOs are blamed. Clu eventually became convinced that the ISOs were an abhorrent, threatening the system, betrayed Flynn, and exterminated the ISOs. Flynn has to go into hiding, whilst Tron left a resistance for a time, but he too disappeared. Flynn was smart enough to bring his own supplies with him to create a greenhouse, artificial sunlight, and a water supply to live.

Sam wants to go home, learning returning to Encom could allow Clu's data to be deleted, but Flynn is afraid to try, since Users can die on the Grid. Sam doesn't believe this, believing his dad just doesn't want to leave. After Flynn goes to rest, Quorra offers to help Sam, revealing she is an ISO herself. She was smuggled around the Grid by another Program, implied to be her father, and works for Flynn as a friend, spy, and agent. She owes Flynn, but is eager to shut down Clu. She demonstrates an uncanny ability to alter her data at will, including her appearance, and build and alter things beyond their original designs. The two steal Flynn's Lightcycle and the Master Key Program, and head out to find a Program named Castor, an information broker. Flynn wakes up later, finding Sam and Quorra gone. He has to flee his home when Clu makes an unexpected house call. Clu destroys the lair, and learns that Flynn's Lightcycle has been spotted on the Grid, deploying Rinzler.

Sam and Quorra hide their Lightcycle and sneak into the End of the Line Club, a neutral, social spot for Programs to chill out, but also used as a backroom for smuggling data, etc. They meet the eccentric party animal Castor, appearing to be based on David Bowie. Quorra disguises herself as an intel Program, but Castor recognises her, regarding her with a parental tone, hinting he is her parent, possibly even an ISO himself. In a backroom, Castor reveals his true name is Zeus, a revered Program who smuggled ISOs around the Grid during Clu's purge, but all died save Quorra. Learning Sam and Quorra wish to reach the Portal, Zeus suggests they use the old solar sailor transport to bypass Clu's checkpoints, though it does pass through an older, glitching part of the Grid. Zeus assumes these glitches were made by each version of the Encom OS, each dumped atop the last without deleting the data beneath.

Rinzler arrives to purge the club, targeting Sam and Quorra, who flee to their Lightcycle. Zeus holds off Rinzler, but Flynn appears in another Lightcycle, running Rinzler over, shattering his helmet, revealing he is a corrupted Tron. Our heroes jump into Lightcycles, and race through the Grid, chased by Rinzler and his minions. During the chase, Sam gets a little reckless and cocky, treating the chase as a game. But, his recklessness costs them. Flynn is nearly killed by Rinzler, forcing Quorra to ram her Lightcycle into his, and loses an arm, going into some sort of glitching coma. Flynn rescues her, but loses the Master Key Disc to Rinzler. Sam, Flynn, and Quorra are knocked right off the Grid, tumbling down into a dark abyss. Rinzler delivers the disc to Clu, who has Zeus executed.

Now on foot, Sam and Flynn argue, finally letting their emotions run freely, Sam raging at his father for leaving him alone for so many years. Flynn can only apologise, hugging his son. Quorra recovers on her own, another gift of the ISOs, but tells them that humans are far more complicated than Programs. They travel through an older part of the Grid, resembling locations from Tron, and find the solar sailer. Flynn is heartbroken when he finds the sailer is controlled by the surviving data of Yori, thought to have been derezzed, but downloaded her basic systems and disc into the sailer. But, she a mere ghost of her former self, and Flynn would only fragment her data if he tried to save her.

On the sailer, Sam, Quorra, and Flynn discuss the real world. Flynn mourns his parents, and what has become of Encom, whilst Quorra is fascinated by the real world, wishing to witness the sunrise. Flynn hopes Sam will take control of Encom and do some good with it, though Sam reads this as Flynn planning not to return home. The sailer suddenly comes to a juddering halt, and they realise the track has been demolished. In its place, they find a large flying fortress built by Clu, on its way to the Portal. Sneaking onboard, they discover the lower levels are a gigantic modification system, with Programs being replicated into obedient guards. Flynn guesses Clu is building an army, not for the Grid, but to invade Earth with. His idea of a perfect system would spread to Earth, though Sam is sceptical on how he could pull that off, since only things from the real world could be returned there. That, and ISOs.

Sam and Flynn go to steal the Master Key Disc, whilst Quorra commandeers an aircraft for them, but is caught by Rinzler and Dyson. The Flynns witness Clu giving a speech to his army, promising to never betray or abandon them. Flynn realises Clu feels he was abandoned as well. Sam and Flynn catch Rinzler and Dyson escorting Quorra to Clu, and ambush them. In the scuffle, Flynn hacks Rinzler’s system, discovering Clu has inserted a shell program in and destroys it, freeing Tron. Tron protects the others from Dyson, and reluctantly derezzes him. Tron collapses, plagued by a self-replicating algorithm inserted into his code by Clu, that recreates the Rinzler shell program. Before he is taken over again, Tron aids Sam to steal the Master Key Disc. He then warns Flynn that the Portal is protected by a shield, one they are most familiar with – the Master Control Program.

Sam, Flynn, and Quorra leg it in a gunship, just as Clu finds out the disc has been stolen. He considers executing Rinzler, but changes his mind, valuing him as a friend. They and a group of soldiers pursue our heroes towards the Portal, leading to a dogfight. However, Tron overcomes his programming once again and crashes his ship into Clu’s. Clu is heartbroken (or as hurt as a Program can be emotionally) by Tron’s betrayal, and steals another ship to chase after Flynn, whilst Tron tumbles down into darkness, his fate ambiguous.

Flynn, Sam, and Quorra reach the Portal at last, finding the MCU has been revived and is guarding it. Whilst Quorra works to breach the MCU’s shield, Clu appears to confront Flynn. The two have the same discussion as in the actual movie. Clu vents his anger at Flynn for abandoning him and favouring the ISOs, and even though Flynn chastises Clu, he knows that he was just fulfilling his mission. Clu then reveals he will go onto the Earth and fulfil his purpose there. When queried, Clu, with some sense of disgust, admits he has merged himself with the code of several ISOs to escape to the real world.

Rather than getting into a fight, Flynn convinces Clu that he has fulfilled his purpose, but not in the way he intended. Flynn understands he has to learn from his mistakes. Flynn and Clu merge into one being, and aids Sam and Quorra to breach the MCU’s shield in similar fashion to the original film. Flynn gives Sam the disc, shoving him and Quorra into the Portal, telling them that he cannot follow, his fusion with Clu making it impossible to return home, despite merging with ISO data. Father and son have an emotional farewell, but Sam promises he will be back.

Later, Sam approaches Alan at the arcade, informing him that he has decided to take back the company, inviting both of them to help him restructure Encom. Alan asks about Flynn, Sam claiming that he is around. Sam leaves, finding Quorra outside, and they drive off to witness a sunset together.

First off, great job on this.

If you are taking requests, may I recommend the Good Dinosaur.

 

[Evilgidgit]

First off, great job on this.

If you are taking requests, may I recommend the Good Dinosaur.

I did enjoy The Good Dinosaur - but it felt too much like a mix of The Land Before Time AND Ice Age. I'll see what I can do.

 

[Evilgidgit]

Next up, we take a dive down a rabbit hole, and visit Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (2010).

Tim Burton’s live action remake/sequel of Alice in Wonderland paved the way for Disney to remake their classic animated films en masse into cheap, live action movies, with a couple of exceptions. Alice was a visually decent film, but tried to fit the weird world of Wonderland into a stereotypical fantasy narrative like something from a 1980s kids show. Similar, better attempts have been made such as American McGee’s Alice.

Mia Wasikowska did a decent performance as Alice, but her character forever looks bored or uninterested. Another one of Tim Burton’s pale-skinned, gloomy social outcast characters who has vague reasons for what they do. You’d think the loss of Alice’s father would have a big impact on the story, but it never does.

Alice’s time in Wonderland is also rather awkward. She has forgotten her previous visit to Wonderland, which turns out to be a real place, but is actually called Underland. I don’t mind Wonderland being a real place, but here, it doesn’t quite work. Alice learns thanks to the Caterpillar’s magic toilet roll, which predicts the exact events of every day, that she is predestined to kill the Jabberwock, and end the Queen of Hearts’ reign of terror. Alice does her best to avoid this destiny, but just kinda gives in eventually and goes along with it. And, if this magic bog roll can predict what happens each and every day, then why didn’t the Caterpillar warn the White Queen of her sister’s planned takeover?

I intend on fixing Alice in Wonderland, reworking it to give Alice a better storyline, make the Wonderland arc not so cliché, and make it feel more like something that would be set in the psychological, yet nonsensical world of Alice.

…

The film begins in Victorian London, and Alice Liddell has already been to Wonderland and through the Looking Glass, her memories of it are vivid, and she has repeated dreams about it. While most, including her mother and older sister, view her adventures as pure nonsense, her father Charles listens to her like a believer. Alice is adamant that Wonderland is real, but worries people will think she is mad. She experiences a nightmare of being chased by the Jabberwock, but Charles comforts her, telling her that such things aren’t real, and dreams can’t hurt her. Charles kisses her goodnight and leaves to speak to his business colleague, Lord Reginald Ascot, but develops an atrocious cough, which Alice listens to from her bedroom door.

Unfortunately, as we see through montage, Charles’ health deteriorates over the years, and eventually passes away when Alice is sixteen. She becomes a gloomy, moody, and somewhat rebellious girl against society. Her older sister Lorina marries the dashing Raoul Kingsleigh, but Alice discovers he is a bit of a womaniser, often smooching over women behind her sister’s back. With her father gone, Alice becomes a stranger in her own family, her emotionally exhausted mother Helen unable to understand or discipline her, and Lorina keeps up appearances to hide her own grief. As such, Alice often does bizarre things to get attention, but only humiliates her mother.

Lord Ascot steps in to take control of the Liddell business, with the offer of marriage to Helen to stabilise the family. Alice is horrified and enraged by such a union, even when their engagement is announced, and she is forced to move into Lord Ascot’s manorhouse, whilst Lorina and Raoul stay in their family home. Alice finds herself constantly hounded by Ascot’s frigid servants, and even her beloved cats Dinah and Snowbell are locked in cages. Alice refuses to accept Lord Ascot as her new father, fearing Charles will be forgotten, lashing out during a tea party, breaking teacups and effectively acting like a lunatic in front of her family and a group of high society guests.

Helen finally snaps, dragging Alice outside and slaps her for her continuous outbursts. The two argue about the marriage, Alice accusing her mother of moving on quickly. Helen tries to reason with Alice, explaining she is remarrying to secure their future, and the family trade business. Though Alice does register this, she still is unable to let go of her belief that her father is to be erased from their lives. She runs off in tears, comparing her mother to the Queen of Hearts.

Alice gets lost in the gardens, spots the White Rabbits, and follows him to a rabbit hole, noting it should not be at Lord Ascot’s house, but back home. She falls down the rabbit hole, finds herself in the circular room with the key and “Drink Me” bottle. Remembering how she got out last time, Alice repeats the process correctly and steps out into the gardens of Wonderland, filled with talking flowers and huge animal topiaries.

She quickly realises something isn’t right when the flowers are whispering about her return will only bring about ruin. She runs into the twitchy White Rabbit, the dim-witted Tweedles, and the elderly, rambling Dodo. The White Rabbit is convinced Alice’s return is a good thing, and quickly drags under a canopy of mushrooms to meet the stuffy Caterpillar, now going by the name of Absalom. He asks who she is, believing she is “hardly” Alice, and insults her. He explains that since her absence, the Queen of Hearts, Iracebeth of Crims, has taken over Wonderland, and overthrown her younger sister, the popular, benevolent White Queen, Mirana of Mamoral, with help from the Jabberwock. The only way to end her reign is to slay the Jabberwock by finding the lost Vorpal Sword.

Everyone thinks Alice is the best option to slay the Jabberwock, considering how she demolished the Queen’s court during her first visit. Alice is reluctant to take up such a task, but her friends insist and grow pushy. Alice finds this change to Wonderland troublesome, always viewing as a place she could get away from such problems. But, she is still curious about the idea of playing the hero.

Just then, an army of card guards storm into the gardens, accompanied by the Queen and King of Hearts. The Queen has an oversized head, being stroppy, immature, but still powerful and menacing, whilst the King agrees with all her schemes, but whispers in her ear. To Alice’s shock, the royals bare a striking resemblance to her mother Helen and Lord Ascot. They are accompanied by the Knave of Hearts, who resembles Raoul, but sports an eyepatch and is even more capricious than Alice’s brother-in-law. Absalom vanishes in a veil of mist, but Alice’s friends are all captured. Alice flees, pursued by the ferocious Bandersnatch, who resembles a snow leopard instead of a big bear/bulldog thing, slashing her arm deep. Alice falls down a hill into a dark forest.

The royals return to the Queen’s castle in Salazan Grum, where many Wonderland denizens are used as servants, even furniture. The Queen’s courtiers are all yes men, who wear fake prosthetics to make themselves look hideous. The Queen rages about Alice’s return, regarding her as an uncontrollable child and a nuisance. The King comforts his wife, advising her to order the Jabberwock to kill Alice. The Queen instead deploys the vicious Jubjub Bird instead to do the job, believing Alice isn’t worth the effort. The Knave is sent to track Alice, accompanied by Bayard, a bloodhound, who is forced to serve for the sake of his family’s lives.

The Queen of Hearts goes down to the dungeons, finding her white-haired sister, the White Queen in a cell. She resembles Lorina. Though being treated like such dirt, even the rats would be offended, the White Queen remains poised, though a little flighty. The Queen of Hearts mocks her sister, but is left speechless when she mentions Alice, and her sister smiles with hope, believing Alice can serve as a champion to slay the Jabberwock.

Alice awakens in the murky Tulgey Wood, unsure of what to do. Viewing Wonderland as her dreamland, Alice decides she should at least try to defeat the Queen of Hearts, but is a little anxious about having to kill someone, already haunted by the shadow of death, and especially since the Queen looks like her mother. She wanders through the woods, feeling the Bandersnatch’s wound getting worse. She meets the Cheshire Cat in the same manner that she does in the film, who binds her wound, since the Bandersnatch’s claws are poisonous, and escorts her out to meet the March Hare and the Mad Hatter.

On the way, Alice experiences a vivid illusion in the surrounding mist where she remembers having a tea party with her father. The mist clears, revealing another tea party beside a dilapidated windmill. Alice meets the Mad Hatter, March Hare, and the Dormouse. I did enjoy Barbara Windsor’s performance as a feisty, badass Dormouse, but it doesn’t really make much sense. Instead, the Dormouse would still be quiet and drowsy most of the time.

The Hatter’s character was all over the place in the film, implying his madness came from grief, and he may have had multiple personality disorder. In my rewrite, Alice views the Hatter as a substitute for her father of sorts, though exaggerated by her dreams. He is no longer a broadsword-wielding, Futterwacken-dancing weirdo with a personality being pulled in a thousand directions. Though mad, he is a little more grounded, and feels a sense of loss, though he doesn’t know what for. In truth, he personifies Alice’s own loss of her father. He and his friends are mostly content with having tea parties, but would prefer the Queen and the Jabberwock to be defeated. The Cheshire Cat appears, the Hatter unhappy to see him, accusing him of abandoning the White Queen during her sister’s initial takeover. Cheshire claims he was merely doing what he had to, in order to survive. Alice interrupts an argument between them before things get heated.

Just then, they hear the sound of approaching soldiers. Cheshire vanishes, whilst the Hatter shrinks Alice and hides her in a teapot. The Knave’s forces, along with Bayard appear to interrogate the group. Bayard, in secret support of Alice, leads the group away from the tea party. But, the Knave is shrewd, and sicks the Jubjub Bird on Alice’s friends. The Hatter flees with Alice, and tells her that the Vorpal Sword is said to be hidden beneath the giant Tumtum Tree within the heart of the forest, where the Jabberwock was once slain. When Alice asks how the Jabberwock is alive, the Hatter says it is because her fear brought it back. He places Alice within his hat and chucks it away into the woods as he is apprehended.

Now on her own and the size of an insect, Alice wanders the woods, feeling lost. She hides upon hearing eerie noises and snapping twigs. To her relief, a hedgehog appears, and guides her silently to the fabled Tumtum Tree before leaving. Due to her size, Alice is unable to find the Vorpal Sword, and grumbles at the impossibility of her situation. Her anger causes something to stir beneath the tree. To Alice’s horror, she had disturbed the Jabberwock, which towers over her, being the size of a building.

The Jabberwock recognises Alice, telling her that the Queen spread the lie about the sword being under the tree, to flush out spies and traitors. Alice remains silent if terrified as the Jabberwock monologues about the fear he spreads, but even still, he has his limits. He tells Alice that the Queen possesses the Vorpal Sword to keep him in chains so to speak. He then tells Alice that he only does what the Queen of Hearts commands, as long as she has his “enemy” – the sword. He even suggests that Alice finds it, and use it to decapitate the Queen and the King, allowing her to make her own choices in life. It would allow both of them to be free.

Alice asks why should she do anything for him, the Jabberwock smirks, and replies that unless she doesn’t, the Queen will likely have the Mad Hatter executed. Since the Hatter represents Alice’s father, it would mean the Queen would be killing him. The Jabberwock slinks away, leaving Alice to think things over. As it begins to rain, Alice flees back through the forest and hides away under the Hatter’s hat til the storm passes.

Come morning, Alice awakens from a dreamless sleep to find Bayard watching her. Upon explaining his reasons to work for the Queen of Hearts, Bayard agrees to take Alice to Salazan Grum to rescue her friends and find the sword. At the castle, Bayard sneaks Alice into the courtyard, where she meets the White Rabbit, who now serves the Queen as a page. He gives her some cake, allowing her to grow into a giant, though she had hoped to just return to her normal size. She attracts the attention of the courtiers, introducing herself to the Queen as “Umm from Umbridge”, where she was bullied for her size. The Queen, sympathising, welcomes Alice to her court as her new companion.

The Hatter is brought into the courtroom by the Knave, but convinces the Queen to spare him by making him her royal hatmaker. Alice sees the suffering that Wonderland’s denizens are experiencing under the Queen’s tyranny. The Queen throws temper tantrums over the slightest things, and the King of Hearts is tolerant and pitiless towards others. During a dinner, the Queen discovers someone has eaten one of her jam tarts, smashing up the dining table. Alice is disturbed, realising this woman wearing her mother’s face reminds her of her own behaviour. The Queen lines up her servants, and has one of her frog footmen executed when he confesses to the theft. Alice has had enough and begins looking for the Vorpal Sword.

She visits the Hatter in his workshop, telling him about the lie about the Tumtum Tree. The Hatter suggests the sword might be in the Queen’s vault, but the only way to get in is with a key, which is in the Queen’s boudoir. Alice recruits the White Rabbit to acquire the key. The Queen invites Alice to visit the White Queen. During the visit, Alice spots Bayard’s puppies in a cell. The Queen once again mocks her sister, whilst Alice remains silent, though is tempted to attack the Queen for her cruel words.

The Queen explains to Alice that the White Queen has a nasty habit of lying through her sweet lips, getting away everything, and had a knack for making others fall in love with her. Even their parents, who considered passing on the crown to the White Queen, despite the Queen of Hearts being the eldest. Once they died, the Queen took the crown, but even then, the people loved the White Queen, who manipulated them into hating her older sister. The White Queen denies this, claiming the Red Queen (as she calls her) has a terrible temple and is too big-headed to rule properly. The Queen of Hearts rages, threatening to feed her sister to the Jabberwock, before storming off. Alice goes to follow, but the White Queen, knowing who she is, tells her to be brave.

The White Rabbit sneaks into the Queen’s bedroom and steals the key, just as the Queen returns and speaks to the King about how she hates her sister, expressing obvious jealousy for her loving shroud. The King suggests it may be better to be feared, then loved, pushing the Queen to kill her sister, and then find and kill Alice too. The White Rabbit sneaks out with the key and gives it to Alice, before guiding her to the vault. However, before Alice can enter, she is confronted by the Knave of Hearts. He reveals he is in league with the White Queen, secretly in love with her, and has been waiting for Alice to show up to find the sword. If she gets the sword, he’ll spring the White Queen out and they will escape for her domain.

Alice sneaks into the vast vault, finding it is filled with all kids of treasures, knick knacks, and junk. But, as Alice searches for the Vorpal Sword, she disturbs the guarding Bandersnatch, who chases her around. Despite her huge size, Alice is terrified of the leopard monster. This scene would be legitimately frightening, and the Bandersnatch’s poison begins to infect Alice. She finds the sword and escapes the vault, locking the beast inside. She collapses, about to succumb to her wound, but the Cheshire Cat materialises and reveals he can heal her with his evaporating skills. When she asks why he didn’t do that earlier, Cheshire merely grins.

After recovering, Alice, rather than go to the Knave, presents the Vorpal Sword to the Hatter. He plots to distract the Queen of Hearts, so Alice can escape the castle with the White Queen. Just then, the Knave walks in, revealing he lied to her and just needed to know she was actually Alice. She and the Hatter are arrested to be presented towards the Queen. The Knave does claim he loves the White Queen, but he also loves many other women, finding romance to be fickle. Whilst walking through a courtyard, the group are ambushed by Alice’s friends, led by the White Rabbit.

Alice races to the dungeon and frees the White Queen. They are confronted by the Bandersnatch, but when the White Queen expresses kindness to it and pets it, the leopard suddenly dies when every bone in its body break instantaneously, driven by pain, unable to understand kindness. Evading enemy forces, Alice, the White Queen, and Bayard’s family escape through a looking glass to the queen’s domain. The Hatter and the White Rabbit are captured for execution, whilst the Queen of Hearts rages, and decides it is time to use the Jabberwock to slaughter everyone who defies her.

The Hatter and the White Rabbit are taken to the chopping block, only for Cheshire to intervene with a veil of mist, allowing the Wonderland denizens to escape the castle. Alice finds the White Queen’s own kingdom in ruins, but the dainty queen is happy to be free. She pushes for Alice to slay the Jabberwock, but Alice mentions the idea of killing the Queen instead. The White Queen objects, still loving her sister despite what she has done. Alice is surprised by this, and finally expresses her dilemma involving her mother remarrying and her father dying. The White Queen is sympathetic, telling Alice that forgiveness can be hard, relating to Alice, confirming she did manipulate others through her smile, wishing to be loved, but it cost her sister’s love. The White Queen tells Alice that the hardest part is forgiving oneself, and desiring that of others.

Alice goes for a wander in the White Queen’s gardens, coming across Absolem, who is preparing to become a chrysalis. The caterpillar asks Alice what she will do about the Jabberwock. He points out if she killed the Queen, the Jabberwock would just run riot as it pleases, ruining her dreams with fear. The only way to stop that is for Alice to face her fears and slay it. He tells her to look beyond the faces she has placed on those in Wonderland, and see the truth of things. He vanishes into his cocoon, promising to meet Alice again in another life. Though Alice is frustrated by Absolem’s vagueness, his wisdom encourages her to try to look at things from another angle.

She returns to the castle, reuniting with the Hatter, the White Rabbit, and other friends, Cheshire warning everyone that the Queen of Hearts’ forces are marching their way. Though the Hatter expects Cheshire to flee, the cat promises not to this time. Alice speaks with the Hatter, and when the conversation turns to her father, she breaks down in tears and addresses the Hatter as Charles, asking why he had to die and leave her alone. The Hatter, still being a shadow of her father, can only comfort her, telling her that Charles will also be with her, even if he can’t be seen. He advises Alice to be brave and curious, but to move on and be happy with her family.

Alice proclaims that things aren’t fair, but has an epiphany. Wonderland has been moulded to fit her current state of find, where things aren’t fair, and her fear is running rampant. The Queen of Hearts, the King, and the Knave are all based on how she views her mother, Lord Ascot, and Raoul, and her family situation. The Queen’s actions reflect her own, how she threw a tantrum and acted like a child in objection to her mother remarrying. She knows the reasons why, but fears that her father will be forgotten and replaced. And there is only one way she can deal with it.

The next day, Alice and her small band of friends walk through the Tulgey Wood, coming onto a field resembling a chessboard. They find the Queen of Hearts and her forces waiting for them, whilst the Jabberwock lurks nearby. Both royal sisters immediately get into an argument, but just as they are about to declare war, Alice steps in to stop their fighting. She tells them to do away with their grudges, pointing out what has happened to their subjects. There is blame to go all around, and the best thing to do now is to sit down and talk out their issues – something which Alice acknowledges she should have done.

Suddenly, all eyes are on her, everyone giving her knowing smiles. The White Queen tells Alice that she is glad that her eyes are open, whilst the Queen of Hearts simply snorts. The world suddenly dissolves away into fog, Alice catching a glimpse of a smiling Hatter as he vanishes. She reaches for him, beginning for her father to come back. Instead, she only finds the Jabberwock remaining, taunting her, claiming she can’t let go of her fear and grief. Finding the Vorpal Sword, Alice, with a little hesitation, fights the Jabberwock.

The mist clears, finding herself in the funeral home with her father’s casket on display. Alice walks to the open casket, finding her father dead inside. The Jabberwock stomps into the room, telling her that she has lost her light, and now wanders through broken dreams fuelled by her inability to let go. He asks what she has left. Alice thinks on what she has, including her happy memories with her family and her friends in Wonderland. Alice opens her eyes, smiles, and tells the Jabberwock that she has love, before swinging the sword and beheading him. His dark body and the funeral home turn to fog, propelling Alice into a swirling void. The Cheshire Cat appears, telling Alice that now she has to face her fears on her own, his grinning disappearing.

Alice awakens in the garden, back home, though a little worse for wear. She returns to the manorhouse, finding her family waiting for her, and embraces her mother in a tearful apology. She sits down and chats with her mother and Lord Ascot, admitting she fears that if Helen marries, it will mean that her father will be forgotten. Helen and Lord Ascot reassure her that such a thing would never happen, as Charles was a big part of both their lives, and Alice has nothing to fear.

Sometime later, Helen and Lord Ascot marry in front of Alice, Lorina, and Raoul, who has started to clear up his act, and even Alice’s cats are allowed to wander the estate. Alice goes for a walk in the garden, finding some white roses. Lord Ascot appears, commenting he was never fond of them, and laughs when Alice suggests painting them red. The two walk on, Lord Ascot asking Alice about Wonderland, though is willing to change the subject if she is uncomfortable sharing her secrets. Alice smiles, and begins to tell him about her adventures.

 

[Evilgidgit]

For our next fix-it venture, we are to leap into a twister and go to the wonderful land of Oz:

OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL


I am a huge fan of The Wizard of Oz and its various, many adaptations. I love Return to Oz, which was a sequel to the 1939 classic, and then Oz the Great and Powerful served as a semi-prequel, creating the Oz trilogy. I did really enjoy Oz, James Franco was really likeable as the titular wizard, and the special effects were magical. Why hasn't it got a sequel yet despite being a box office success and getting good reviews? Likely because Disney now realise they can just make money from Marvel, Star Wars, and remaking all of their animated films into cheap remakes.

My problem with the movie is the character Theodora, who becomes the Wicked Witch of the West. Mila Kunis' performance is good, but I find it hard to believe that such a naive character becomes the most iconic movie villain of all-time. Anakin Skywalker's change into Darth Vader was gradual, whilst Theodora's was rather sudden, not to mention literally forced by Evanora and a poisoned apple. I intend on fixing this in my rewrite, and make some alterations to parts of the film's story that didn't quite work!

...

The film begins in Kansas, 1899 - Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkel Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs is a charming but rude, boastful, egocentric, womanising carnival magician, travelling with the Baum & Denslow Carnival. Oscar feels unappreciated for his talents, wishing to leave the carnival and go on the Orpheum Circuit, yet he has no appreciation for others or his audience and friends. I decided to cut out Zach Braff's monkey character, replacing him with the Munchkin herald Knuck, his Kansas counterpart named Frank. Frank is Oscar's assistant, but being a black dwarf, he only feels at home in the carnival.

Oscar’s performance to a small group of Kansas folk goes wrong when his illusions enchant a wheelchair-bound girl so much that she demands he fixes her legs with magic. A panicked Oscar makes a hasty exit. He rages in his caravan, humiliated but also ashamed that his magic and act is a sham. Oscar tells Frank that he wishes he could do and be better, but doesn’t know how to.

Just then, Oscar’s childhood friend Annie Gage, pays a visit, revealing she is engaged to John Gale (Dorothy’s father). Oscar tries to hide his envy and disappointment that Annie is getting married to another man, but since she always brought the best out in him, he drops his grudge. They discuss what a good man Oscar should be. Oscar makes the comment that his late dad was a good man, who worked all his life, and got nothing from it. He wants more, to do better and be better, to be loved, appreciated, and praised, as famous as Harry Houdini and Thomas Edison. Annie tells him he can be a good man, but only if he does good, and cares for others apart from himself.

Frank bursts in, warning Oscar that he’s in trouble. Turns out Oscar has been sleeping with the strongman’s wife, and makes a hasty escape into a hot air balloon. Unfortunately, he is drawn into the path of a twister, and winds up in the Land of Oz. Rather than a lengthy wander through Oz, Oscar’s balloon instead appears above the Emerald City, under attacked by flying monkeys. Oscar floats down into the glistening city, using the fire of his balloon to scare off the monkeys.

He is quickly praised by the joyous Ozians as a hero. Realising he is in another land, Oscar introduces himself as “The Wizard of Menlo Park”, a powerful and influential wizard from the land of Omaha. He further weaves his lie when introduced to Evanora, one of the four ruling witches of Oz, governing the eastern province of Munchkin Country. Evanora is grateful for Oscar’s heroism, but is suspicious of his mysterious and sudden arrival in Oz. She explains Oz has been under siege by a wicked witch named Glinda, corrupted by her own magic, and controls the flying monkeys. Oscar’s arrival in Oz now means he poses a threat to Glinda.

Evanora presents Oscar to King Pastoria, the deathly ill, bedridden ruler of Oz. Not long ago, Oz was at war with the nearby Nome Kingdom, leaving Pastoria without a queen, and no successors, and now faces death himself. Pastoria barely registers Oscar, and is tended to by Evanora’s younger sister Theodora, another witch, who is to eventually govern the western Winkie Country. For now, Theodora is an inexperienced witch who works as an apothecary and physician to the king. She comes of as controlling and blunt in her words, compared to her more charismatic sister Evanora. Pastoria murmurs something to Evanora, who translates it as a thank you, and offers Oscar a place to stay in the palace. Before leaving, Oscar notices Theodora wears a mask over half of her face.

Evanora introduces Oscar over to Knuck, a Munchkin who resembles Frank, serving as the city’s herald. But, unlike the friendly, blundering Frank, Knuck is a sourpuss, cranky, cynical, and dislikes people looking down at him. He promptly torments Oscar when he insults him. Nevertheless, Knuck gives Oscar a tour of the Emerald City. He tells Oscar that Glinda was once good, kind, and benevolent, finding it suspicious that she turned evil.

Meanwhile, Evanora speaks with Theodora about Oscar, wondering if he is actually an ally to Glinda. Theodora suggests he could save Oz from the wicked witch. She also sees this as an excuse to finally get out of the palace, and do some good on her own. Evanora objects, appearing to be even more controlling, warning her sister that she is no match for Glinda, warning her that she could be harmed. She forcefully removes her sister’s mask, though we do not see what she is hiding. Evanora reminds Theodora what happens when she is exposed to water, forbidding her from leaving the Emerald City.

Later, Evanora shows Oscar to the treasure room, and offers some of it as a reward to Oscar. He enthusiastically dives his way into it, but Evanora then drops the bomb that he’ll only get the gold once he kills Glinda and brings back her wand. Oscar is gobsmacked by such a suggestion, but is forced to agree to it, when Evanora nearly catches on to his act. Oscar recruits Knuck to help him. Unwilling to take a life, Oscar instead plans to simply steal Glinda’s wand, assuming a witch is powerless without their wand. Knuck notices Oscar’s weasily attitude, but says nothing.

Oscar meets Theodora in her chamber where she makes Pastoria’s medicine, and studies magic. Theodora expresses an adventurous side to Oscar, a desire to do good, and improve her magical skills and reputation. She demonstrates her power, creating fire in her hand, but has some difficulty aiming a fireball. Impressed, enchanted, and hoping to woo Theodora, Oscar encourages her to rebel a little and come with him to stop Glinda. So, Oscar, Knuck, and Theodora set off down the Yellow Brick Road towards the southern Quadling Country. Evanora later finds out her sister left, and watches their journey via a crystal ball, and has to administer Pastoria’s medicine herself.

Over several days, the trio journey through Oz, Knuck figuring out Oscar isn’t an ordinary wizard, if at all. He advises Oscar to tell the truth to Theodora, but Oscar refuses, happy with his current good fortune. Theodora is just glad to be out of the city, yearning to do good, but her attempts to force her help upon others is rejected. They come across a farming community who are harassed by outrageous fighting trees from a nearby wood. Theodora vows to stop the attacks, leading Oscar and Knuck into the creepy forest.

They are overwhelmed by the aggressive trees til Theodora sets them on fire. One strikes her with a branch, knocking off her mask, which she scrambles after. Oscar uses a smoke bomb to frighten the trees, who retreat. Theodora accidentally knocks her mask into a stream, too afraid to retrieve it. Seeing the witch’s fear, Oscar fetches her mask and returns it to her, even looking away to respect her privacy. He is surprised by his own actions, since normally he would push a woman to not shy away. The trio are praised by the farmers, who throw a party for Oscar, Knuck, and Theodora. But, Knuck doesn’t get much attention, since he is a Munchkin, who are considered small-minded in Oz. Oscar disagrees, praising Knuck as being very brave.

In a private moment, Theodora thanks Oz for respecting her privacy, and decides to trust him with her deepest shame. She slowly removes her mask, revealing one side of her face is dyed green. Oscar is at first shocked, but then becomes fascinated with her unusual appearance. Theodora explains she has a strange reaction to water, which burns her skin, turning it green. After several jokes about how she bathes and washes, Theodora tells Oscar she fell into a river as a child, leaving her half-green, and she wears a mask out of shame. She also implies Evanora may have been the one to give her the mask. Oscar, putting on a little charm, but also being genuinely sweet, tells Theodora that she is beautiful. Their talk is disrupted by the flutter of wings. The trio hide as the flying monkeys soar overhead, on their way to terrorise another town. Theodora wants to stop them, but Oscar intervenes, afraid of dying.

The next day, the trio follow a trail of smoke to the broken remains of the Dainty China Town. They eventually find the little china girl, who is named Marianne, the sole survivor of the town. Marianne explains through sobs that her people were celebrating Oscar’s defeat against Glinda, but the monkeys came and destroyed everything. Marianne exposes her broken, shattered legs, Oscar using “magic” glue to repair her. Though Marianne is enraptured, Theodora pokes Oscar to learn more of his unusual magic, but Oscar plays possum. Looking for revenge and whipping out a knife, Marianne joins the group to kill Glinda. Oscar announces they aren’t going to kill Glinda, but merely take her wand. Theodora objects, convinced it would be better to destroy Glinda, regardless of her past history as a saintly person.

The group find an enormous bubble around a graveyard, acting as Glinda’s lair. Oscar plots to distract Glinda to steal her wand, but Theodora aims to go on the offensive. Glinda and Theodora have a magical duel, Marianne stabbing Glinda in the foot with her knife. Oscar takes the opportunity to steal Glinda’s wand. The witch suddenly spasms and looks about in confusion, almost as if she came out of a trance. Expressing a now delightful and kinder demeanour, Glinda realises she was under a hex, her wand cursed to influence her actions. Oscar is immediately smitten, convinced Glinda is a good witch after all. Theodora and Marianne point out she has done terrible things, such as commanding the flying monkeys.

Glinda denies this, until she is informed of what happened to the Emerald City and Marianne’s town. She falls silent, realising what she has done. Even against her will, she accepts what has happened as her fault. Oscar asks if she was hexed, then what was the last thing she recalled. Glinda thinks, remembering her last memory was talking to Evanora, surmising that she cursed her wand. Theodora defends her sister, but soon clues and suspicions start to mount up against Evanora. Glinda is horrified to learn Evanora is Pastoria’s advisor, believing that Evanora is the true wicked witch, and intends on replacing the king. Theodora again objects, but Glinda asks when did the king start falling ill – when Evanora became his advisor.

Theodora falls grimly silent, suggesting that the ingredients she was using in her medicine for Pastoria, in retrospect, could be individually used as poisons. Realising she has unknowingly been poisoning the king, Theodora sees the horrified looks of her friends. Though Oscar tries to comfort her, Theodora takes a step back, familiar with such stares, those who have viewed her as a monster. She angrily rages, denying any involvement or acknowledgement in Evanora’s plans, accidentally launching fireballs about. Glinda whips up a bubble, accidentally splashing Theodora with water, burning her face, further changing it green.

Evanora, watching the scene through her crystal ball, orders the flying monkeys to kill Oscar, Knuck, and Glinda, but bring her sister back home. She then walks into Pastoria’s bedroom and smothers him to death, plotting to name herself as his successor, and claim Oscar has been corrupted by Glinda.

Oscar tends to Theodora’s new scars, following her instructions. She notices he is unfamiliar with healing magic, and again asks what type of magic his land has. Oscar claims his people specialise in illusions, mischief, and prestidigitation. He demonstrates a card trick to Theodora, and even reveals a dove hidden in his magic bag. Theodora, though intrigued, comes to the conclusion that Oscar may not be the powerful wizard he claims to be. Oscar’s sweaty face says it all. Just then, Glinda warns them of the approaching swarm of monkeys, and the group flee on foot. They eventually reach a high cliff with a waterfall gushing down it, and have no way to escape. Oscar releases the dove to distract the monkeys.

Glinda creates a large levitating bubble which the heroes jump in one by one. But, just as Oscar and Theodora jump, the dove and monkeys fly in, knocking Theodora off the cliff. Oscar makes it to the bubble, tries to grab Theodora, but she slips and tumbles down the waterfall to her apparent death, pursued by several monkeys. Oscar demands that Glinda float down to find Theodora, but Glinda apologises, believing no one could survive a fall like that. Their only hope now is to go to her castle and prepare for battle against Evanora. The monkeys fly to the bottom of the falls, searching for Theodora. They find her broken mask. Just as they are about to give up, Theodora emerges from the water, now fully green, and looking severely scarred and disfigured by the water. Seeing her reflection, she lets out a monstrous, enraged scream.

Oscar, Knuck, Marianne, and Glinda float across Quadling Country as the sun rises, revealing Glinda’s castle is encased in a giant bubble, which only the true of heart can pass through. Oscar panics, believing he won’t make it through, only to successfully pass through the giant bubble. Glinda gives him a supporting smile. The group land and are flocked to by the Quadlings. Glinda apologises for her actions, announcing Evanora is the true wicked witch, and Oscar shall save them all. Oscar is hailed as the Wizard of Oz, but this time, he doesn’t feel exuberated by the praise he is receiving. He feels guilty for letting Theodora die, viewing her as a kindred spirit, wanting more in life, blaming himself.

Glinda tells Oscar they will need to raise an army, and present him as a legitimate threat to Evanora. Oscar is doubtful of his ability, but Glinda encourages him to strive to be a good man. This reminds him of Annie’s words. It occurs to Oscar that Glinda doesn’t view him as a proper wizard, and she knows that he is a con artist. Glinda encourages Oscar to work this to his advantage, but he confesses he wants to be a good man through great deeds, not through lies. Glinda, exasperated, has no other option, as he is all she’s got to rely on. She even suggests perhaps destiny brought him to Oz, pointing out his initials are the same. Oscar scoffs at this, telling Glinda that he is a simple carnival magician and nothing more. Glinda smiles, believing he can be more.

In the Emerald City, Evanora has informed the citizens of the king’s passing, and they hold a vigil in the palace grounds. Evanora goes for a walk through the palace, but pauses, appearing to hear what sounds like a crying baby, but ignores it when she hears the sound of flapping wings. She finds the monkeys have gathered in the dark throne room, and finds Theodora, now green and hideous. She has come to dress in black, and the trauma of her sister’s betrayal, her scarring and near death experience has left her twisted and angry. She berates Evanora for lying and manipulating her. A heated argument eventually leads to Theodora unleashing her fire magic on Evanora, but her sister survives it, cautioning her to aim her rage at Oscar and Glinda.

Evanora reveals she did plot to murder the king, so the sisters could rule and protect Oz. She believes magic equals power, and King Pastoria had no magic himself, making him unsuitable to rule. Theodora mentions he was married to Queen Lurline, a fairy queen, killed during the war against the Nomes. Evanora discards this, since Lurline never taught Pastoria how to use magic, and they had no children. She pauses for a moment, recalling the crying baby, but Theodora tells her that Oscar’s magic appears to be deceptive. Evanora convinces her sister that he was likely in league with Glinda the whole time, claiming she always was vying for power, mentioning the former Witch of the North, Mombi, who Glinda removed from power due to her vanity. Evanora suggests Oscar and Glinda must be destroyed, but in a quiet moment, Theodora recalls how Oscar regarded her physique as beautiful.

Glinda introduces Oscar, Knuck, and Marianne to her apparent army. These include a variety of eager farmers, weaver, bakers, gardeners, Munchkins, and a group of elderly inventors known collectively as the Tinkerers, led by Ku Klip. We also meet two minor characters who will come to have major supporting roles in Oz – a young, compassionate woodman named Nick Chopper (the Tin Man), and an unusually tall female Munchkin named Jinjur, who is forbidden from going into battle by her mother. Oscar is not enthusiastic about the mismatched army, though hopes the Tinkerers may be able to build weapons of war.

As in the actual film, Theodora makes a dramatic and explosive entrance into Quadling Country, now sporting a pointed hat, resembling her future identity as the Wicked Witch of the West. Theodora announces that she and her sister will war against Glinda and anyone else who stands in their way. Oscar, happy to see her alive, tries to reason with her, but Theodora warns him to fly away in his balloon and leave Oz. If he refuses, then she will consider him an enemy. Recalling a comment Oz made about how witches fly on broomsticks where he comes from, Theodora grabs a broom and flies off into the sky, leaving a trail of smoke behind. Everyone panics, Glinda trying to bring calm, but finds Oscar has vanished.

Knuck catches Oscar trying to sneak out, and they break into an argument. Oscar admits he never wanted to be involved in war and a battle for life and death. Knuck tells Oscar he almost believed in him to be a good man at heart, but is nothing more than a cowardly and selfish humbug. If Oscar truly wanted to do good and be good, he wouldn’t run away. Oscar is overwhelmed by the responsibility being forced upon him, and doesn’t want to be a disappointment. Marianne steps in, having heard the conversation, declaring that he’d be a great and good man, asking isn’t that what he wanted. Marianne asks Oscar to tuck her in bed like her father did, to which he obliges.

The two discuss Oscar’s life, admitting he isn’t a powerful wizard but a simple carnival magician who uses illusions and trickery, though Marianne regards his talents as a type of magic. Oscar details Marianne his admiration for Houdini and Thomas Edison, enchanting the little china girl. She tells Oscar that he doesn’t need to be a great wizard or a famous hero to be good, using how he rescued her as an example, and showed compassion and kindness towards Theodora. Marianne falls asleep, muttering that he is a good man, just a bad wizard. This gives Oscar the inspiration that he needs. He rushes out and informs Glinda that he has a plan, agreeing he is a poor wizard, but could still pretend to be a great one, in order to save Oz.

Knowing the witches will need time to prepare their army, Oscar and co. race on preparing their own plans to fight back through trickery. The Tinkerers also unveil their Royal Army of Oz – the copper, mechanical man, Tik-Tok, who readers may remember from Return to Oz. But, Tik-Tok is still a prototype, so they haven’t necessarily worked out how his clockwork mechanisms truly function yet. Oscar gives a speech to the Quadlings, taking inspiration from various US Presidents to deliver an unrehearsed speech of inspiration, before the army sets off for the Emerald City.

The third act pretty much follows what happens in the actual movie, but with some alterations. First off, everyone is in on Oscar’s plan, as he would be smart enough to have backup plans should his first one go wrong. Oscar, Knuck, and Ku Klip sneak into the city in the back of a weaponised carriage, recovering and fixing Oscar’s hot air balloon. Glinda leads an attack upon the city using Tik-Tok and mechanized scarecrows, knocking out the flying monkeys when they land in the field of poppies. But, the witches capture Glinda, plotting to execute her before the citizens of the Emerald City. Marianne makes her way into the city with Glinda’s wand to return it to her.

Everyone witnesses Oscar’s balloon take flight, Theodora smiling with relief that he took her advice. Evanora labels Oscar a coward and blows up his balloon with magical lightning, sending it crashing to the ground in the middle of the palace’s courtyard. Theodora snaps at her sister, but takes it no further, focusing on executing Glinda. But, the balloon suddenly erupts in an explosion of fire and smoke, as Oscar’s misty head appears, claiming to have shed his mortal form and ascended to become a being of pure magic and sorcery. Oscar exposes Evanora as a liar, plotting the murder of the king, and using Glinda and Theodora to spread evil.

Oscar is actually still alive and mortal, hiding in the carriage, using a projector and zoetrope to create the illusion of his ascension. He proclaims himself as The Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz, encouraging the citizens to trust him and turn on the sisters. Evanora and Theodora attack him, but Oscar appears invulnerable. He then unleashes the stars, actually a volley of fireworks which terrify the sisters. Evanora flees into the palace, she and Theodora failing to notice that Glinda has been freed. The angry crowd turn on Theodora, and chant and curse her named as a Wicked Witch. Oscar stays morbidly silent, wanting to defend her, but at the last moment, is unable to. Theodora hatefully glares at him, mounts her broomstick, and flies away into the night. Oscar sneaks out of the carriage to find Glinda.

In the palace, Evanora races through the throne room to make her escape, but is confronted by Glinda. Glinda wastes no time in battling Evanora, knowing a discussion will lead to no good. The two witches have a spectacular magic duel, Glinda revealing her true skills beyond the bubbles. Evanora overpowers Glinda, only for Knuck to charge in and destroy Evanora’s magic ring. Evanora swears revenge on all of Knuck’s people, revealing she has more than one way to use magic. In a brief tease, Evanora taps her heels together three times and vanishes in a flash of ruby-coloured light.

Alone, Oscar searches the empty palace halls for Glinda. He comes across King Pastoria’s chamber, and hears a crying baby. He finds a secret door in the room, leading him down a passageway to a hidden nursery, where he finds an infant girl in a crib. The girl’s nursemaid, Jellia Jamb, one of the palace’s maids, appears to defend the girl. She reveals the baby is Princess Ozma, Pastoria’s child, hidden following the death of her mother. Very few know of her existence, not even Glinda or the wicked witches. Jellia pleads with Oscar to protect and hide Ozma until she comes of age and become the rightful ruler of Oz, worrying the witches will target her if they learn of her existence. Oscar agrees, worrying for the baby’s safety, and it would also put his own plan in jeopardy. In the next scene, Oscar travels deep into the mountains of the north, and hands over baby Ozma to the retired witch Mombi (who, if I had my way, would be played by Jean Marsh, reprising her role from Return to Oz).

In a final scene, Oscar, Knuck, Marianne, Glinda, and Ku Klip build the tech that Oscar will use to create his disguise and illusion as the Wizard. The five agree to keep it a secret for the sake of the Ozians, knowing the wicked witches will return. Oscar vanishes behind the curtain, appearing within a flowing smokescreen, and introduces himself as Oz, the Great and Powerful!

Feel free to leave any requests - they can be non-Disney films, but no Star Wars or DCEU movies.

 

[Twilight_Roxas]

Fantastic Four even if the terrible reboot is set in the MCU. If tv shows count Inhumans.

 

[DisneyManOne]

This blog has some really good ideas for a new version of what is widely considered to be one of the weakest entries in the Disney canon: Pocahontas. Given that most of the bad aspects of that film came about because Katzenberg really wanted that Oscar, I think that this version fixes every aspect down to the last detail. It even finds a way to make the tacked-on Katzenberg-influenced romance between Pocahontas and John Smith work.

 

[Evilgidgit]

This blog has some really good ideas for a new version of what is widely considered to be one of the weakest entries in the Disney canon: Pocahontas. Given that most of the bad aspects of that film came about because Katzenberg really wanted that Oscar, I think that this version fixes every aspect down to the last detail. It even finds a way to make the tacked-on Katzenberg-influenced romance between Pocahontas and John Smith work.

And the first change they make is to give Pocahontas magic powers. Yeah, that's not at all stereotypical.

 

[Twilight_Roxas]

How about the awful reboot of the Fantastic Four?

 

[Evilgidgit]

How about the awful reboot of the Fantastic Four?

I will give it ago, but as a new film within the MCU. You can't fix what is beyond broken.

 

[Twilight_Roxas]

True.

 

[Evilgidgit]

Hey, guys. This was going to be my attempt at constructing a Fantastic Four MCU-based reboot, but frankly, I can't come up with a legit story. Mainly because Moviebob actually came up with a great concept that would make a perfect FF movie. So, call me lazy or uninspired, but instead, here is Moviebob's three-part video series on how he'd make a Fantastic Four film.

 

[Evilgidgit]

Our next project is the cat's meow, and the progenitor for this thread!

THE ARISTOCATS (1970)

The Aristocats is one of my favourite childhood Disney movies, has some funny characters and great songs, the second animated film released after Walt Disney's passing. But, in hindsight, I feel nothing really happens in this movie. Don't get me wrong, it is cute and funny, but none of the characters go through an form of arc aside from Roquefort the Mouse, the villain is boring, there are zero consequences or real obstacles that the cats have to overcome, and not one person questioned by Madame Adelaide had altered her will to give her fortune to her cats! What's a cat going to do with money?

So, here are some changes I would make, altering the setting/period, and giving the characters some personal stakes and conflicts.

...

Paris, 1917, a city gripped by war, but from a cat’s point of view, it is just a load of noise.

Duchess is a pampered Turkish Angara cat living in the heart of Paris. She is owned by Madame Adelaide Bonfamille, a world famous retired opera singer who is now declining in her golden years. Duchess' lifestyle as an “Aristocat” has made proper and ladylike, but somewhat vain, not associating herself with “common cats”. In fact, she acts more human than feline at times. She has three kittens – the confident Toulouse who thinks he needs to be tough in case he encounters alley cats, Marie who tries to copy her mother’s elegance but has a short temper, and the quiet but mischievous Berlioz. The kittens’ father Marquis had no interest in being a parent and left with his master long ago, leaving Duchess distrustful of males.

Madame Adelaide returns to Paris with her cats after spending months at her country chateau in order to contact her lawyer and dearest friend Georges Hautecourt regarding her will. Georges is a very eccentric old man in his eighties, making his usual dramatic entrance into Adelaide’s mansion. After a night of reliving their youth, Adelaide and Georges get down to business and Adelaide drops a bombshell that shakes the whole family: Since she has no living relatives around, she intends on leaving her entire inheritance to Duchess and the kittens – a move that surprises Georges, and horrifies Adelaide’s loyal butler Edgar Balthazar. It was always planned that the fortune would go to Edgar for his long service, but this sudden change of news devastates him. As Georges leaves, Edgar meets him outside, and they both come to the realisation that she might going senile.

Duchess is not really concerned with the Madame’s private affairs and instead tends to her children’s education and becoming respectful members of society. However, Toulouse and Berlioz’s constant pranks on the hotheaded Marie cause them to wreck the music room, alerting a furious Edgar who scolds the cats who blames them for his newfound misery – “If only you were gone!” he cries – and then gets a dark look and leaves the room. Confused by Edgar’s temper, Duchess assumes it is because of the mess and orders her children to clean the room, disappointed with them and herself. Needing someone to talk to, Duchess finds herself speaking with Roquefort, a nervous mouse who she tolerates since the children like him so much. Duchess laments on the lack of a father, and Roquefort can only sympathise with her, since he is unfit himself to aid the kittens.

Meanwhile, Edgar, with some reluctance and moral debating, decides to remove the cats in order for the will to be altered and for Adelaide’s fortune to preserved. He secretly drugs Duchess and the kittens by spiking warm milk, and quietly spirits them away after Adelaide goes to bed. Travelling for much of the night, Edgar travels past a British army outpost, alerting two guard dogs named Napoleon and Lafayette who attack Edgar’s motorbike. The basket carrying Duchess and the kittens tumbles from the bike and lands on a river’s edge out of sight. Edgar evades the dogs and goes back to look for the cats. Unable to find them, he departs back home, hoping a kindly farmer finds them and takes them in. Duchess wakes up in the middle of a storm hours later and panics, terrified of being outside her comfort zone, but quickly has to calm down her children when they awake too. Toulouse reveals Edgar kidnapped them, actually half-awake during the trip, though Duchess is sceptical.

Meanwhile, Adelaide discovers her cats have vanished and collapses at home. Roquefort discovers her but can do nothing until Edgar returns home. The next day, Duchess struggles to cope with the predicament her family is in, and while she easily adapts to the countryside, Marie’s stroppiness, Berlioz’s curiosity, and Toulouse’s habit of trying to intimidate every critter he finds leaves their mother quite stressed. Duchess and her kittens are accosted by a smelly alley cat who clambers out of the nearby river, who takes a fancy to Duchess, but she fobs him off and guides her children away to find food.

Duchess and the kittens come across a farmhouse, but find no cows to gain milk from. The alley cat appears, now cleaned off and presenting a more charismatic demeanour, offers to get the family some milk, recklessly leaping in the path of a milk truck to stop it. Duchess is surprised by the alley cat’s behaviour and unusual methods, but thanks him for his help. The cat introduces himself as Thomas O’Malley, a worldly cat who has been stuck in rural France for months due to the war elsewhere. Knowing the milk truck may go to Paris, Thomas offers to escort Duchess and the kittens safely to the outskirts. Duchess is distrustful, but her kittens are wowed by Thomas’ personality, Marie immediately enchanted by his romantic fantasies with Duchess. With some reluctance, Duchess agrees.

As the truck drives on, Duchess watches Thomas’ interactions with her children and asks him about his pedigree and owners. Thomas becomes a little touchy about the questions, claiming “it’s all in the past.” Duchess changes the subject, asking why Thomas was in the river, to which he returns to his dashing demeanour and claims he was “evading a couple of haughty chicks”. Thomas helps the kittens get into a milk container, just as the truck approaches a British Army checkpoint. The driver spots the cats through the rear view mirror, chasing them away and causing a scene. The soldiers present have Napoleon and Lafayette with them, who are proud of chasing off Edgar the night before, but Napoleon has no interest in chasing a family of cats, assuming Thomas is the father. Thomas goes into embarrassed mumbles, but Duchess makes it clear that they just met, ushering her children away.

Thomas follows after them, inquiring about the children’s father, Marie answering that they don’t have a father. Seeing that the topic upsets Duchess, Thomas points out a railway line that he claims leads to Paris and the cats follow it. Elsewhere, Roquefort and the family horse Froufrou, discover Edgar was responsible for Duchess’ disappearance when he talks to himself in the stables, Adelaide bedridden as a result. Feeling guilty, Edgar decides to go back out and look for any sign of Duchess and the kittens. Roquefort hitches a ride on his motorbike, determined to find his friends. The cats come to a railway bridge above a fast-moving river. While the kittens play trains, Thomas apologises to Duchess if he upset her, but Duchess is modest, admitting the children lack a father figure. She explains her house lifestyle with Adelaide to Thomas, and she admits she would not normally ask a common cat for help. Thomas is taken aback but laughs, calling Duchess a “house pet”. Duchess takes offence to the comment, stating she is more than a pet, knowing Adelaide loves her family like her own children.

Thomas interrupts her rant, hearing a strange noise. Suddenly, a low flying German bomber descends from the sky and obliterates the bridge, with the kittens in the line of fire. Duchess saves Berlioz and Toulouse, but Marie plummets into the river, with Thomas launching himself in after her, telling Duchess to watch what an alley cat can do. Thomas rescues Marie but both are caught in the river’s force and are dragged away downstream, pursued by Duchess. That night, Edgar searches the countryside for the cats, finding the basket they were in empty. He goes past the British Army camp, alerting the guard dogs again who chase him away, but Roquefort falls from the motorbike and asks the two dogs about Duchess. They recall seeing her, and decide to help Roquefort find the cats by following their trail.

Duchess, Berlioz, and Toulouse follow the river looking for Thomas and Marie. By daybreak, they are close to losing hope until they meet a pair of gossiping geese named Abigail and Amelia, who are on holiday from England. They reveal both Marie and Thomas are in their care. Thomas is awakened by Duchess, but he freaks out when he realises the geese are the two “chicks” he was fleeing from. Abigail and Amelia accuse Thomas of leading their beloved Uncle Waldo astray, Duchess learning when Thomas was last in Paris, he and Waldo had a night of late night fun, but Thomas blacked out and woke up in the countryside. Believing Thomas was good-intentioned, Duchess suggests going to find Uncle Waldo in Paris, to which the geese agree, and they waddle their way to the city.

By nightfall, the group arrive in Paris, learning from other cats that Uncle Waldo was captured and taken to Le Petite Café to be cooked. Thomas sneaks into the kitchen to rescue Waldo, who has been marinated in wine to the point he is as drunk as a skunk. They are spotted by the head chef, who comes at them with a cleaver. Duchess, watching from outside, dashes into the help Thomas, dumping a bag of flour on the chef's head and using her unused feline agility to escape unharmed with Thomas and Uncle Waldo, who drunkenly states he’d prefer to have been marinated with sherry. An air siren suddenly warns the arrival of German planes above Paris, prompting the geese to flee with Uncle Waldo. Thomas leads Duchess and the kittens to safety, but the unseen bombings shown through noise and lights terrify the kittens. Duchess and Thomas work together to calm the children.

Following the end of the bombings, Duchess desires to return home, and Thomas promises to escort her and her kittens all the way. Needing a place to stay for the night, Thomas takes the cats to a dance hall with a disused loft, but finds his old friend Scat Cat and his gang of musically-inclined friends partying there. Scat Cat is thrilled to have an audience and is immediately smitten with Duchess, curious why a classy cat such as herself is in such a place. Duchess explains her troubles, but Scat Cat soothes her worries by telling her to embrace her status cat, playing a jazz number called “Everybody Wants To Be A Cat”. Duchess dances with Thomas and her children, with numerous alley cats entering to join the party, and Duchess realises that despite their differences, they are all still cats.

Scat Cat and his gang later depart, and while the kittens fall asleep, Thomas and Duchess go onto the roof for some air. Duchess is in awe of the starry night, and they realise just how much misery the war brings to Paris’ citizens as they go about dealing with the mayhem. Duchess fears for her mistress’ health, Thomas reminding her that she is Adelaide’s pet. Duchess objects, asking Thomas why he can only view her as a pet. Thomas laments that all relationships between humans and cats are the same, and they will end up abandoning you, Duchess realising he was once owned himself and starts grooming him. Duchess plucks up the courage and admits she has difficulty relying on males, explaining what became of her children’s father Marquis, disinterested in being a parent and left with his master, rejecting his children to live a life of luxury. The two embrace over their misfortunes and end up kissing in the moonlight, witnessed by the overjoyed kittens.

By morning, Duchess is embracing her abilities as a cat and bonding with Thomas. However, the family run in Roquefort, Napoleon, and Lafayette. The family are thrilled to see Roquefort, while the dogs offer to escort Duchess home, distrusting Thomas. Duchess convinces the dogs otherwise and they return Duchess and the kittens home, just as Edgar returns from the hospital with Adelaide. Adelaide is thrilled to have her cats back home, and Edgar is both relieved and nervous if they start behaving differently around him. Duchess is saddened to leave Thomas, but he quietly departs. Napoleon and Lafayette go to depart, but they pick up the scent of Edgar’s motorbike and track it into the stables, but are locked in by Edgar so they disturb Adelaide. Edgar’s fears come to light when the cats hiss at him, forcing him to reveal to Adelaide his crimes. Adelaide is shocked but when Edgar tries to reason with her over her decisions regarding the will, air sirens announce the return of a new attack from the Germans.

Edgar desperately tries to plea with Adelaide to get to a shelter but she locks herself in her bedroom with the cats. Just then, German planes start bombing Paris again and Adelaide’s mansion is caught in the devastation, causing part of the roof to cave in and Adelaide to be trapped. Edgar is pinned under rubble, leaving the cats and their mistress trapped with an approaching fire. The kittens call for Roquefort and tell him to find Thomas. The brave mouse races out the house, while Froufrou and the dogs try to force their way out of the stables to rescue the others. Roquefort quickly finds Thomas and informs him of the tragedy. Thomas races off to save Duchess, sending Roquefort to find Scat Cat and his gang. Roquefort is quickly reduced to babbling terror when he is accosted by Scat Cat’s gang, but when he manages to explain what is happening, the cats run off to help.

At the mansion, firefighters and policemen come to the rescue to put out the fire but can’t get into the house. That is until Froufrou breaks out of the stable and is used to kick the front doors in. Thomas and Scat Cat’s gang follow and manages to get into Adelaide’s room through a hole in the roof, guiding Duchess’ kittens to safety, but Duchess refuses to leave Adelaide. Outside, Edgar spots the cats on the roof and despite being wounded, charges in to save his mistress. Using Froufrou as a battering ram, Edgar manages to break into Adelaide’s room and retrieves her, but Duchess and Thomas remain trapped under the bed with Edgar unable to rescue them. Embracing her feline abilities, Duchess manages to jump to the roof, but Thomas is burnt whilst climbing and plunges into a fire below.

A distraught Duchess reunites with her kittens and presumes Thomas perished. However, Roquefort, while a mouse, braves the fire and smoke to find Thomas. Locating his body, Roquefort manages to drag him out of the flames before he is found by firemen who take him outside. Adelaide is taken to a hospital while the cats are taken into Georges’ care, and Thomas manages to recover but his condition leaves him unable to walk properly. Months later, Adelaide has recovered and lives in her country home with Duchess, her kittens, and a domesticated Thomas. Adelaide still has some recovering to do and is cared for by a housekeeper named Marianne. Georges visits, accompanied by Edgar, who has done a short prison sentence for his crimes.

Adelaide is welcoming to Edgar who repeatedly apologises to her and the cats for his selfishness. Adelaide apologises to for meandering mind and decides to compose a new will, but Edgar declines to be a part of it when offered, believing he must earn his own keep. However, he suggests that Adelaide’s love for cats could play a role. Adelaide works off that and founds a charity for all the stray cats in Paris to find new homes. Roquefort and Froufrou are still with the family, while Napoleon and Lafayette were returned to the army but gained recognition for their bravery. Duchess and Thomas are now a couple, and the kittens have a father figure, something which Duchess is very happy about. Her family is complete.

 

[DisneyManOne]

I've always felt that The Aristocats was one of the weakest films in the Disney canon, so this interpretation was quite an improvement. If Disney were to continue remaking their films, I think this would be the perfect way to go about The Aristocats.

 

[Evilgidgit]

Hooray! Time for our first non-Disney movie!

THE MATRIX RELOADED
The Matrix is a timeless and fantastic sci-fi film that told a mindboggling story, bringing philosophy, bullet time, and revolutionary special effects to the masses. However, the sequels, The Matrix Reloaded, and The Matrix Revolutions, whilst fun, don’t quite live up to the legacy of the first film. What also made The Matrix a compelling film was a good story and likeable characters. Though the sequels continued the story, things became a bit bloated and disjointed, with the philosophical elements soon ballooning to the point that the ending of Reloaded was impossible to follow. Revolutions spent little time in the titular Matrix, and was mostly dedicated to lengthy battles and the special effects. The human characters also became rather dull and expressionless, and I found myself caring and liking the Programs more. If this was done deliberately by the Wachowskis, I don’t really understand why.

This reimagining won’t completely overhaul the sequels, but rather change and improve the narrative, though I probably won’t focus on the philosophical elements, since I am no expert on such a subject.

The film starts rather differently, with the Last Flight of the Osiris, adapted from The Animatrix. The crew of the Osiris, captained by Thaddeus, follow strange geothermal readings to the surface and find the Machines are beginning to drill through the earth towards Zion. I feel it is a lot more dramatic if we actually see the 250,000 plus Machines as they begin their descent towards Zion. The Osiris is spotted, the ship fleeing underground to a broadcasting safe spot, to deliver the information to the Matrix. One crewman races to a secure mailbox, placing the info within, only to drop dead as the Osiris is bombed by the Sentinels. We meet Niobe and Ghost as they retrieve the geothermal prints and summon other redpills to meet.

Since becoming the One and unlocking his powers, Neo has been making drastic changes to the Matrix in an attempt to open the eyes of the blue pills to the truth. Many new red pills have been freed in three months straight, causing the Machines and the Agents to become a lot more violent and thorough in their attempts to exterminate the rebels. But, Trinity has noticed Neo is also beginning to act and feel less human. He even feels detached from those still plugged into the Matrix, since anyone of them could be an enemy. In the real world, however, Neo is powerless, and time away from the Matrix allows him to appear more empathic.

The crew of the Nebuchadnezzar haven’t heard from the Oracle in a while, believing she is on the run from the Agents. Tank died from his wounds, and was replaced as operator by his brother-in-law, Link, married to Tank’s younger sister Zee. Zee resents Morpheus for recruiting and ultimately dooming her brothers, fearing he’ll get Link killed as well.

The Nebuchadnezzar crew join Niobe, Ghost, and a number of other red pills within the Matrix’s sewers to discuss the impending attack on Zion, which will approximately occur within seventy-two hours. Roland, captain of the Mjolnir, blames Neo for this attack, the Machines retaliating against his anarchy in the Matrix. Morpheus asks one ship to stay behind in case the Oracle contacts them, the Icarus crew agreeing. We meet Bane here, appearing as a supporter of Neo.

The revived Agent Smith appears outside, gives his discarded earpiece as a gift to Neo, but disappears before Neo gets there, sensing his unusual presence. Several Agents show up, stronger than ever, but Neo manages to defeat them whilst everyone evacuates. Smith hasn’t started cloning himself yet, and merely sent his earpiece to Neo as thanks for setting him free from the system. Smith knows something has changed within him, but doesn’t know what yet.

All ships save the Icarus return to Zion, which remains basically the same as it physically appears in the movie. It was one a lot more advanced, but two centuries of rust has caused it to fall into decay, spending most of its resources on the defences and the machinery that produces heat, water, light, and oxygen. Neo is not particularly comfortable or at home in Zion, finding the militaristic culture of the last human city a little too similar to the Matrix when he was plugged in. He is also bothered by the worship he receives from the Zionists.
Perhaps the few people he tolerates are his crewmates, Link’s family, the humble Councillor Hamann, and a young man named Kid, who Neo personally helped escape from the Matrix. Kid is an idealistic 16-year old, who idolises Neo, completely and religiously dedicated to believing in the prophecy. He has even started a small but growing order called the Neonites, who support Neo within Zion. While Neo is appreciative, he still feels out of place in Zion, and often finds solace in the Matrix. Thankfully, his relationship with Trinity is one reason why he does stay in Zion.

Morpheus receives a lecture from Commander Locke, leader of Zion’s armed forces. Locke, Morpheus, and Niobe’s love triangle is negated, reworked as the three being all former blue pills and close friends, who were freed from the Matrix one after the other. But, when Morpheus grew obsessed with the One and became a terrorist in the Matrix, Locke grew to view Morpheus as a threat to Zion. Niobe remained the middle man between the two, but remains an active and somewhat notorious member of the resistance, throwing herself into dangerous missions. She is also the only person other than Neo to defeat an Agent. Niobe and Ghost have a sibling-like relationship, Ghost being one of the quickest and stealthiest rebels in Zion. Niobe pilots the Logos, the smallest hovercraft, consisting of herself, Ghost, and operator Sparks.

At a rally, Councillor Hamann, Locke, and Morpheus inform Zion that the Machines are drilling and they must prepare for war. Morpheus does deliver his speech, but it isn’t so bombastic and out of character (“MACHINES!”), being more dignified in tone. The giant dance number is cut, or rather occurs in the background, while Morpheus and Niobe discuss the inevitable attack. Niobe knows if the Oracle calls, Morpheus and Neo will dash off to speak with her. She tells Morpheus while she doesn’t necessarily believe in the One, she knows she will help Neo out at some point, as told by the Oracle. She just isn’t sure if she will choose to or not.

Neo and Trinity avoid the party and have a quiet moment to themselves. Neo vents his frustrations, unable to connect with hardly anyone in Zion or the Matrix. Trinity tries to comfort him, but he even begins to find he is unable to feel much for her. Trinity dreaded this, wondering if he is with her out of a sense of duty or guilt, since destiny pulled her into loving him. Neo denies this, and promises her that should it come to it, he’d choose her over being the One any day. That night, Neo has a nightmare depicting Trinity being killed by an Agent and he isn’t there to save her.

Troubled, Neo goes for a walk, meets Councillor Hamann, and they tour the engineering level together. The two men discuss the probability of freeing all of mankind happening, but also the consequences if they stopped the Machines. For one, there wouldn’t be enough food to go around, and an entire species ripped away from their take on reality all at once would be insane and irresponsible. Neo reassures Hamann that as the One, he can free all of mankind, but Hamann suggests they may have to make compromises with the Machines. He would prefer to have peace with the Machines than exterminate them, pointing out how Zion relies on machines to survive to provide heat, air, water, and light, just as they use humans as an energy source.

In the Matrix, Bane and his captain Ballad make contact with the Oracle and are sent to give the meeting place to Neo. They are intercepted by Smith. Ballad makes it back to the real world, but Bane stays to fight Smith. Smith pins Bane and punches his hand through his chest. But, instead of dying, Bane is assimilated by the surprised Smith, creating his first clone. Smith straightens his clone’s tie, and calmly says, “Interesting,” before the now possessed Bane ventures through the phone into Zion.

The Icarus returns to Zion, delivering the message to Neo. The crew of the Nebuchadnezzar get ready to leave, though Bane’s brief appearance is absent, though Kid still gives Neo the spoon. Instead, we have a new but minor subplot where we see the Bane/Smith hybrid experiencing life as a human, trying food, bathing, sleeping, etc. Being Smith, he comes to find the human experience disgusting and seeks to sabotage Zion from the inside out, and secretly sends information on the city’s defences into the Matrix for the Machines to pick up.
In the Matrix, Neo meets Seraph and fights him. However, instead of some silly philosophy about not truly knowing someone til they fight them, Seraph picks a fight with Neo, claiming someone in the Matrix is apparently causing glitches and causing blue pills to disappear, and needed to know he was fighting the real One, and not an imposter.

Neo then proceeds to meet the Oracle, and their conversation pretty much goes the same. Neo explains he is starting to see visions, to which the Oracle reveals he is inheriting the powers of her eyes. We learn she and Seraph are Programs, and in order to bring about peace, Neo must travel to the Source with help from the Keymaker, who is a captive of the Merovingian. The Oracle reveals to Neo that she created not just the prophecy of the One, but Neo’s predecessor as well, or at least gave him the power of choice, leading to the release of the first red pills and the founding of Zion. Before leaving, the Oracle warns Neo that this will be the last time he will see her “like this”.

Agent Smith shows, blabs about how Neo robbed him of his purpose, and now he believes he has found a new one. He reveals he has assimilated several blue pills, and tries to do the same to Neo. This leads to the fantastic Burly Brawl. Neo tries to alter the Matrix around him, but finds Smith appears to be developing similar powers. Overwhelmed, Neo flies off, finding he isn’t as invincible as he had thought. On the Nebuchadnezzar, Neo fears destroying Smith allowed him to have a part of his powers as the One imprinted onto him. With no way to stop or understand Smith, Morpheus concludes answers or a remedy could be acquired in the Source.

In Zion, Commander Locke prepares to sent the hovercrafts out to intercept and destroy the Machines’ drills. Hamann asks Locke to spare a couple to find the Nebuchadnezzar. Locke is reluctant, until Niobe volunteers. Bane convinces Ballad to volunteer as well. Roland’s crew is also put on backup should the Logos and Icarus need help. Niobe and Locke argue about her choices, but Niobe tells Locke he needs to let go of past grudges and concentrate on defending the future.

The plot follows the same story. Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity go to speak with the Merovingian, who denies them the Keymaker. I was a bit reluctant to leave the cake scene in, but decided to just to show how much of a sleaze the Merovingian is. He describes his history a little more, originally an information trafficker in the Matrix, but upon acquiring certain info, he and many of his fellow entourage became exiles. He desires the eyes of the Oracle, which would allow him to see the “cause and effect” of all. Persephone, tired of her husband’s adultery, guides Neo to the Keymaker. Persephone’s role in the Matrix is implied to be a security protocol (i.e. a password key), protecting the Merovingian’s secrets.

Morpheus, Trinity, and the Keymaker flee down the freeway to meet Niobe and Ghost, pursued by the Merovingian’s minions, including the ghostly Twins. There are no Agents in this revised chase, as it seems rather stupid they wish to delete the Keymaker, even though it is necessary for Neo to reach the Source.

Neo fights against the Merovingian himself, during which, the Frenchman reveals he knew the original One. In this version, there were not five different version of the One, or five different versions of Zion. Neo is the second incarnation of the One. The Merovingian mocks Neo, claiming he has no sense of urgency or ambition with his powers, noticing his lack of attachment to humanity. He claims the One was a mistake, an anomaly caused by the Oracle to shake up the Matrix, and the original One nearly destroyed the Matrix, but both he and the anomaly disappeared. Neo defeats the Merovingian, wanting more answers, but the Merovingian flees, promising to survive Neo. Neo flies off, rescuing Morpheus, Trinity, and the Keymaker from a pile up.

Later, the Keymaker explains there is only one door, hidden deep within the heart of the Matrix, that leads to the Source. The plan is put in motion – Neo, Morpheus, and the Keymaker will go to the Source. To do this, the crew of the Icarus will need to shutdown a nearby power plant and disable the backup generators, whilst the Logos stays in the real world to distract any Sentinels. Neo asks Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, haunted by his nightmare. He fears if he loses Trinity, he may lose his humanity altogether.

But, things go wrong thanks to Bane. Unwilling to let Neo reach the Source, Bane disables the Icarus’ buffers, allowing the Sentinels to locate the hovercraft and destroy it. Trinity goes into the Matrix to shut down the backup generators, throwing a motorbike at the power plant. Neo, Morpheus, and the Keymaker go into a hall of corridors and navigate their way to the Source’s door. Trinity rushes to the building to backup Neo, only to run into Smith, who has arrived to kill the Keymaker. They both race for the door, Trinity knowing she won’t make it, and instead engages Smith in battle. Smith continues to display abilities similar to Neo, including an ability to cause glitches.

This sends a pixelated glitch into the corridor of doors, Neo, Morpheus, and the Keymaker fleeing from it. They find the door to the Source, the Keymaker pushing Neo and Morpheus through it, and chucks his keys in after. He slams the door shut and is deleted by the glitch. Neo and Morpheus find themselves in darkness, until a wall of screens switch on, revealing they are in the chamber of the Architect. The Architect’s overcomplicated dialogue is made simpler to understand, but still reflects the Architect’s personality, since a lot of what he says is important to the plot and lore of The Matrix. It also works better that Morpheus is present as well, making it more earth shattering when he learns the prophecy is a load of rubbish.

The Architect is still a pompous, self-proclaimed genius and perfectionist, and is straight and to the point with his dialogue. The Architect begins by explaining he designed the Matrix, which he refers to as a “harmony of mathematical precision”. The first incarnation, as detailed by Smith in the first film, was a sublime fantasy because humanity subconsciously rejected it. A second attempt was made to reflect humanity’s more gruesome history and nature, but it was again rejected. In order to craft a more reasonable if lesser form of the Matrix, the Architect allowed the Oracle to become involved, originally programmed to analyse the human psyche. She concluded that humanity would accept the simulation if they had a degree of choice within the Matrix on how they lived.

He goes on to describe the original One. He reveals that the One was not a human, but rather a program, stunning both Neo and Morpheus. The Architect explains that the One was not created on orders of the system, but rather spontaneously by the Oracle, to test the very fabric of the Matrix’s function and to see how far an individual with a sense of choice and self-awareness would go. The One eventually freed a number of blue pills from the Matrix, leading to the foundation of Zion.

Morpheus comments that what happened to the original One is unknown, to which the Architect reveals the truth – the One was captured, returned to the Source, stripped of his empathy and sense of choice, and reprogrammed into a new purpose. But, the anomaly of the One’s powers lingered in the Matrix, allowing red pills to appear and influence the simulation, and the constant if minor infiltration for the rebels has begun to have severe consequences for the Matrix. The Architect warns Neo that unless he, as the One, returns to the Machine City, aka the Source, the continuing effect of the anomaly could lead to the Matrix shutting down.

Neo is unfazed by this, but the Architect rewords his warning – the glitches being caused within the Matrix all originate from the One and the anomaly left behind. Inevitably, the anomaly will destroy the foundations of the Matrix, and kill everyone connected to it, blue pills and red pills alike. The Machines had logically concluded that exterminating Zion would put an end to the red pills threatening the Matrix, slowing down the destruction of the system enough for them to find a solution to stopping the anomaly. Either way, humanity could be wiped out. Neo asks what of the Machines, to which the Architect grimly states that they are prepared to survive on a lesser scale.
Morpheus is left shaken by these revelations, convinced that the One was meant to free humanity from the Matrix, but the Architect claims the prophecy was a fabrication made by the Oracle to test humanity’s sense of hope. In a way, it was an unauthorised, unplanned experiment to further study the human psyche; the Oracle fulfilling her original purpose.

The Architect presents two doors to Neo – one will lead him to the Source, where he can aid in resetting the Matrix and therefore erase the threat of its collapse. The other will lead him back to the Matrix. Morpheus asks what will stop the Machines from destroying Zion, to which the Architect explains if Neo returns to the Source, then those in Zion may be spared, on the condition that they stop removing people from the Matrix. Neo already knows such a compromise would never been accepted, as instantly made clear by Morpheus, still determined to free mankind. The Architect then lectures Morpheus, pointing out the illogic futility of his hopes, since there is not enough food or resources to populate the entirety of mankind, the surface has been destroyed by nuclear radiation, and the Sun is inaccessible for now. Morpheus falls silent.

Neo must make his choice, but the Architect, ever the judge of humanity, reveals Trinity has entered the Matrix. He shows footage of her, but is briefly alarmed when he sees she is fighting Smith, assuming it had been an ordinary Agent. Neo notices the Architect’s brief moment of surprise, but immediately bolts for the door back to the Matrix. The Architect warns him that such a decision will doom both species, and berates Neo for choosing love over humanity. Neo and Morpheus leave, the Architect promising that they won’t meet each other again.

Trinity fights Smith, who is far superior to her in speed and strength, til she jumps out of a window. While Smith would prefer to assimilate her, he decides to instead shoot her, seeing it as a suitable punishment for Neo. Neo flies to the rescue, saves Trinity, and manages to use his powers to revive Trinity in the real world through the Matrix, stunning Morpheus and Link. Smith watches on from afar, promising “Mr. Anderson” that they will meet again to fulfil their purpose – to balance out the equation.

Onboard the Nebuchadnezzar, the crew are left confused and panicked by the news Neo and Morpheus bring. Morpheus becomes disillusioned, and wonders what he is meant to do now. Neo apologises, but Morpheus does not blame him. He laments he has been so dedicated to finding the One and fulfilling the prophecy because he was desperate to have a purpose. He admits when he was plugged into the Matrix, like Neo, he too felt disconnected with the world. Being freed from it opened his eyes to a greater purpose to achieve, but the truth about the prophecy, and the extinction of mankind now terrifies him. Neo promises to make things right, and will achieve Morpheus’ dream.

Neo then speaks with Trinity, who is reeling from her brief death. She thanks Neo for saving her, and pair joking that they are now even. But, Neo expresses his concerns about what is to come, and what will happen to them. When he revived Trinity, he did so out of love, but also felt indifferent about it. He also does not understand why he became the One, when the original was a program, and has suspicions on who it is.

The film ends the same as the original – the Sentinels appear, blow up the Nebuchadnezzar, and Neo stops the machines with his powers, only to fall into a coma as a consequence. The Mjolnir shows up, rescuing the crew. Roland explains the rest of the hovercrafts were annihilated by the Machines, who are still drilling. They also confirm the Icarus is gone, and the Logos is missing, the only survivor of the Icarus being an injured Bane. The film ends as it opened, with the Machines drilling down towards Zion, symbolising the desperation of both species to survive each other.

 

[Evilgidgit]

The Matrix Revolutions

This is not a direct beat-by-beat rewrite of the third Matrix film as Reloaded was, just more of an overral summary of the things I would change. For being over two hours long, not a lot happens in this movie.

Neo, Agent Smith, and the One

To recap the biggest change, in my version, there have only been two versions of the One, being Neo and the original, who, as you may have guessed by now, is Agent Smith. Smith was originally a program given the concept of choice by the Oracle, using it to warp the Matrix and free the first humans, founding Zion. He was reprogrammed into an Agent, but the lingering anomaly that is the One’s power was manipulated by red pills and then Neo. As such, the Matrix is becoming increasingly unstable and will eventually collapse, killing everyone plugged into it. This gives our heroes proper stakes to save the Matrix itself, and it will fall to Neo to go to the Machine City to halt their attack on Zion.

Smith still showed signs of individuality, as seen in the first film, only this time, he wants to destroy all humanity, twisted leftovers of his time as the One. Smith has since become aware of who he once was during Revolutions, and assimilates the Oracle in order to acquire her eyes, this sense of power causing Smith to laugh maniacally, as he sees him defeating Neo and conquering the Matrix. He develops copies of Neo’s powers, i.e., his own.

In the final battle, Neo not only fights Oracle-Smith, but also other copies as well, creating an even more epic version of the Burly Brawl, with both versions of the One wrecking the Matrix as they try to overpower each other. Smith wins by using Sati’s powers to strike Neo with lightning. He then whispers the Oracle’s line, “Everything that has a beginning, has an end, Neo.” This makes Neo realise the Oracle’s endgame, lets Smith assimilate him, reuniting the One’s code, and the Machines delete it, killing both characters and rebooting the Matrix.

Sati

Sati was an unusual character in the movie, but underused. Neo meets Sati, and her parents Rama Chandra and Kamala, three programs. The friendly Rama Chandra explains he and Kamala created their “daughter”, who is to be a new program monitoring the weather in the Matrix.

However, upon learning Sati would be trapped and immobile in the Matrix, her parents conspired to smuggle her to the Matrix so she can live a proper existence. Like the Oracle, they are empathic, being creative design programs. Neo is surprised hearing programs talk about love beyond a mechanical concept, Rama Chandra explaining that the Machines once had a concept of emotions, but rejected them long ago thanks to humanity’s hatred towards them.

Rama Chandra is relying on another program called the Trainman to escort Sati into the Matrix, but he and his wife must return to the Source to continue their roles. Neo is alarmed when the Trainman is revealed to work for the Merovingian, who never makes deals without wanting something in return. Rama Chandra falls morbidly silent, asking Neo how far he would go to save his loved ones. Neo grows angry, asking what Rama Chandra did, who admits he gave up something valuable owned by the Oracle, and gave it to the Merovingian.

Specifically, Rama Chandra gave the Oracle’s shell program, assuming it would take her prophetic abilities with it, but it did not. This still explains the recast of the Oracle in the canon. Neo remains angry with this, but does not harm Rama due to his legit regret. When Sati goes to stay with the Oracle and Seraph, she experiments with her abilities and causes some trouble in the Matrix.

Neo and the Oracle both separately lecture Sati on responsibility, but because Sati lacks a better understanding of the world, and the power she possesses. She compares herself to Neo, saying he has the power to do whatever he wants, and she could do the same, even going as far to suggest Neo could rebuild the Matrix and pose as a god. This is something Smith will adopt when he assimilates the programs. Neo refuses to do such a thing, as it would deny the all-so-important right to choice, and would consider it just another form of unfair control. He tells Sati not to follow such a path either.

Of course, when Smith comes calling, Sati is tempted to join him and his new regime when he compliments her power (similar to Magneto’s “god amongst insects” speech in X-Men 2). Realising he is a bad person and mirrors Neo’s warning, Sati uses her powers on Smith’s army, whipping out lightning bolts, blasts of wind, and rainstorms, but Smith assimilates Seraph to repel her and absorb her too. During Neo’s final battle with Smith, another clone, actually Sati, fights him and uses her weather powers to cause all sorts of chaos, defeating Neo with a lightning bolt. She is later freed, reunites with the Oracle, and creates a rainbow, symbolising not just a new start for the Matrix, but also her own change of ideology, deciding to follow one of joy and peace. To make the Matrix a more enjoyable world for mankind.

The Merovingian and Persephone

Sadly these two don’t have much to do in Revolutions or in my rewrite. They have the same role as they do in the actual film, and agree to rescue Neo from Mobil Ave. However, the Merovingian is convinced of the threat that Smith possesses, giving Neo information on how to reach the Machine City and other details on the original One. Then, being the Merovingian, he and Persephone decide to remain in the train station, safe from Smith’s reach, and plans to stay there til the threat has passed. We could see them return to the Matrix at the end of the film perhaps, though their time alone in Mobil Ave would allow them to discuss and sort out their relationship.

The Battle of Zion

Zion’s defensive systems are an absolute joke. First off, they have mecha, which shoot bullets with no sense of aim or trajectory, and they have open cockpits, allowing the Sentinels to make quick work of the pilots. The mechs also only have so much ammo, and when they run out, the pilots have to loudly shout “Reload!” over all of the noise. Then, civilians have to run out into the battlefield to manually load new ammo to the mechs, and then run back to shelter for the next round. Not to mention that the mechas would just have to stand around exposed whilst waiting for the ammo to be delivered.

But, the runners are accompanied by guards who are using energy weapons against the Machines. Yes, the security guards are the only ones in this battle using energy guns, which are super effective against the Sentinels. How about give them to the mecha pilots to use? They’d be much more effective against the enemy, and don’t need reloading by the looks of it. No one in this army wears protective armour at all, or have their own personal weapons like guns, knives, or bombs. I find it ridiculously hard to believe that, even in the 22nd century, and living in squalor underground, that Zion would not have armour or weaponry beyond the useless mecha and one EMP bomb.
Well, turns out they do have other weapons – giant bazookas which are used to blow up the Machines’ drills. These bazookas are huge in size, require two people to merely carry it, the second person also reloading the weapons. The bazookas’ size work against the user, as they are so big, the aiming probability is zilch. It is no wonder that Zion got demolished give times in the actual canon! Let’s try to remedy this debacle.

First off, the mechas would all have the energy guns instead of the bullets, since having fried circuits is more effective at killing the Machines than trying to shoot them blindly. This also eliminates the need for runners. Everyone in the battle wears proper armour, or at least some light enough to let them run around quickly. The mechs also have proper cockpits with glass canopies over them so at least the pilots have a proper fighting chance of defence. Every soldier has at least one normal handgun, a knife, and an explosive on hand in case of a ground assault. The bazookas have an in-built homing device, letting them hit the targets easily. Also, when the Mjolnir crashes into the city and wipes out all of the systems, Locke does not blame Morpheus, Niobe, and Roland, since he already lost the dock.

 

[Evilgidgit]

Press play to start...or just scroll down.

READY PLAYER ONE

One of my favourite films of 2018 was Ready Player One, directed by Steven Spielberg, and based on the novel by Ernest Cline. Filled to bursting with easter eggs, the film did manage to have a relatively decent story, though mostly regarding the character James Halliday. In a way, the film was like a modern day version of Willy Wonka, minus the chocolate, Oompa Loompas, and messed up boat scene. However, I feel the main protagonist Wade Watts/Parzival wasn't the most engaging of heroes. He has no real personal goals, and his romance with Artemis/Samantha was cliche.

I feel the film's key messages and ending was a downer. On the surface, it looked like it was just lecturing the audience to not spend so much time in a fantasy world and go outdoors. The deeper meaning was to not run away from yours fears and problems, and instead face and deal with them in reality. One of the very first lines of dialogue in the movie is about how people gave up trying to fix their problems, and instead just try to outlive them by spending all their time in the Oasis. But, by the end of the movie, nothing about the terrible conditions of the world are resolved. Wade and Samantha move into a large flashy apartment, and we never see if they did anything with the Oasis and Halliday's company beyond shutting the VR world down for two days a week. Perhaps this was meant to slowly convince people to deal with their problems?

Another issue is that Wade doesn't really learn from Halliday's mistakes. Halliday created the Oasis to escape from his own fears, and lost his friendships with Ogden Morrow and his wife Karen, which he came to regret. The movie makes it important that friendships are extremely important in life, but at the end of the movie, it instead focuses on the old "guy gets the girl" trope as the victory point, rather than that Wade has met his friends in the real world, or that he and his friends have used the Oasis' money to help the world. The only thing of good we hear is that the High Five shut down IOI's detention centres. In my rewrite of the film, I hope to fix these problems, but still maintain the heart of the movie without drifting too far from the narrative.

So, without further ado, let's begin! First to the Key, First to the Egg!

...

The first major change is that Parzival isn't the main protagonist, but rather Samantha/Artemis is. I feel she had more of a personal motive for the movie and to participate in Halliday's easter egg hunt. Our movie begins in 2035 in Columbus, Ohio, where the world is in dire straits and most folks just try to outlive their problems than try to fix them. A young Samantha lives with her dad Allan, who wants her to be happy in life even if their world kinda sucks. He is a good man but inept with money. Samantha was born with an unusual birthmark over her right eye, and is bullied because of it. Sam feels ashamed of herself, but her dad loves her mark, nicknaming her "Jem" after the 1980s TV show.

We are introduced to the Oasis through an 11-year old Samantha's eyes, her dad spending a lot of money to buy them a pair of VR headsets, gloves, and the automated running track from IOI (Innovative Online Industries). Daughter-and-father go on many adventures together, taking on the avatars of "Art3mis" and "Ap0llo". Samantha even creates a tattoo replica of her birthmark, her avatar resembling Jem.

Unfortunately, when Sam turns 16, Allan ends up in debt with IOI, and has to work in one of their nightmarish indentured centres in order to pay off the debts. He eventually falls ill from the hard work and stress, develops a heart condition, and dies, unable to get medical treatment due to lacking money. Samantha is informed by Nolan Sorrento, who works as head of IOI's tech support and debt collection. He tells Sam she will have to start working to pay off the debt in one of IOI's dreaded Loyalty Centres, which effectively uses modern day slavery to make customers pay of debts through manual labour in the Oasis. Frightened of dying like her dad, Sam runs away, taking her Oasis gear and little else with her. She soon finds shelter with a small underground community, all who are indebted to IOI against their will. Not everyone is so lucky to escape. In the Oasis, Samantha recreates her online identity, erasing her birthmark too, and develops a more punk rock anti-authority looking avatar, hiding herself from IOI.

Sam wants to get back at IOI for how they treat people, and wants to make such an impact on the world that it will convince people to wake up to reality and deal with it. We meet Sam's friends Daito and Sho, also known in reality as Toshiro and Zhou, Japanese-Chinese brothers, who are a part of Samantha's community. They, along with others, help out Oasis users who face debt to IOI, often through questionable means. Artemis earns the nickname of the "Sixer-Fixer", developing a Robin Hood-esque legend online, and commonly attacking IOI agents in the Oasis.

Then, in 2040, James Donovan Halliday, co-creator of the Oasis, unexpectedly dies. The film introduces us to Halliday and Ogden Morrow here, with a little more emphasis on Ogden leaving Gregarious Games, and how Halliday became a recluse in the following years. Samantha watches Halliday's posthumous announcement, learning of the Easter Egg Hunt. Halliday as his avatar, Anorak the All-Knowing, hid an Easter Egg within the Oasis. If found, this gift would make the finder the sole owner of the Oasis, as well as inherit Halliday's personal moneyworth of half a trillion dollars. Three keys are hidden in the Oasis, which unlock three gates, leading to the Easter Egg's secret location. Artemis becomes determined to win the game, believing that amount of money could not only pay off her dad's debts, but put an end to IOI's machinations as well.

The hunt begins, the egg hunters becoming known as "Gunters". IOI reworks its indenture scheme, using its in-debt customers to search for the Easter Egg and the keys, referring to them as "Sixers" due to the six-number ID accounts they have. Nolan Sorrento was promoted to director of operations related to finding the egg. This enrages Artemis, dreading the idea of allowing Sorrento ruling over the Oasis, likely to strip it of its freedoms, and put half the world in IOI's servitude. She recalled how Sorrento was unsympathetic to her father's death, and showed no remorse towards her either. Thus, she views Sorrento as a heartless man, often targeting his various employees and avatars in the Oasis, though tries to avoid harming the Sixers directly.

Unfortunately, the game isn't as quick or as thrilling as Artemis had hoped. No one finds the first puzzle for months, later revealed to be the most unbeatable video game race in history, Artemis losing multiple purchased vehicles in the process. Most people gave up looking for the Easter Egg, save the most dedicated of Gunters and the Sixers. Sorrento founds a "Halliday University", made up of Halliday experts, mining his hobbies and favourite TV shows, films, books, video games, and music to figure out secrets to the hunt.

By 2045, no one has won the first challenge. Artemis has scanned every point on the route, studied every obstacle and turn on the track, and even combed through Halliday's personal recordings to find a clue on how to reach the finish line. She often visits the Halliday Journals, the library stylised after that from The Breakfast Club, but has had no luck finding an obvious hint. The library is overseen by the robotic but snarky Curator.

The race occurs, Artemis discovering the popular gunter Aech is participating, his avatar being a cybernetic orc, driving a monster truck. The two have a friendship of sorts, knowing each other through Daito and Sho. During the race, Artemis notices she is being hounded by a Gunter driving a Back to the Future DeLorean, which eventually overtakes her. The race would be a smorgabord of iconic cars, including 1960s Batmobile, Mad Max cars, James Bond's Aston Martin, Christine, Herbie the Love Bug, Wacky Races vehicles, the A-Team van, Mario Karts, KITT from Knight Rider, The Dukes of Hazzards' car, Ecto-1, Speed Racer's Mach-5, Fred Flintstone's car, Greased Lightning, a Tron Lightcycle, Bumblebee's Camaro form from Transformers, the Mystery Machine, and the Turtle Van...to name a few.

The race is relatively the same as in the movie, with King Kong and Rexy showing up, but also the evil truck from Chase, and the Cloverfield monster which throws the Statue of Liberty's head onto the track, doubling as a reference to Escape From New York. The DeLorean's driver, Parzival, deliberately totals Artemis' motorbike, to prevent her from being crushed by a lurking Kong moments from the finish line. Though Artemis isn’t thrilled with having her bike smashed, she is grateful to Parzival from stopping her from zeroing out - a prospect that could lead to players being indebted to IOI. Parzival turns out to be a bit of a fan, and has a rather unsubtle crush on Artemis, offering to have Aech fix her bike as an apology. Before leaving, Artemis notices in the distance that the Statue of Liberty appears to have its head in tact, despite it being tossed away earlier. She never noticed it before, keeping it to herself.

The workshop scene goes the same way, but with one difference - Aech isn't working on the Iron Giant, but rather Voltron, since in the RPO universe, copyright disputes would probably have been resolved by this point (as they weren't during the film's production). The Iron Giant will be showing up later though. Artemis isn't really impressed with Parzival's know-it-all database of Halliday's hobbies, denying him a friendly high five, and becomes even more annoyed when he expresses his "rich and famous" plans if he won the competition. He has no real reason to not zero out, as he has nothing at stake. Unlike Artemis who grew up with an attachment to most of Halliday's passions, thanks to her father, Parzival has no such emotional link to the stuff, and to him, it is all about knowledge and personal victory. Artemis assumes Parzival lives a cushy life somewhere, and logs out once Aech fixes her bike.

The narrative drifts to Parzival's point of view, introducing us properly to Wade Watts, and his miserable home life with his neglectful aunt, and her dodgy boyfriend. Wade has little going for him, and idolises Halliday, viewing him as the ultimate dreamer and built the perfect world for people like him.

We cut back to Artemis, who visits the Halliday Journals, surprised to find Parzival too, looking at the very footage she wanted to look at. They watch Ogden Morrow's farewell party after he quit Gregarious Games. In the footage, Ogden tells Halliday that people are using the Oasis to escape their lives permanently, and people have died from obsession/addiction. Both Artemis and Parzival are disturbed by this. Halliday objects to having to introduce rules to the Oasis, unwilling to make anymore, though judging by his tone, he is bothered by what Ogden has told him.

Halliday reminisces to simpler days, reminding Ogden the promise they made "on the island", to never make too many rules in a world where anything was possible, where people could be welcome and whatever they wanted to be. Artemis believes she has found a clue to solving the first challenge, telling Parzival about the Statue of Liberty glitch. Though Artemis is a crusader and unimpressed with Parzival's priorities, she is willing to trust him then, say, an IOI agent.

They recall Halliday and Ogden came up with the Oasis whilst visiting Ellis Island - one of the first immigration spots in America, reflecting what the Oasis was designed to be - where people could feel welcome and free. The goal of the race is not to win, but to reach the Statue of Liberty. I know I made this more complicated, but I felt it made more sense rather than just going backwards on a track – which would be one of the first things gamers would try!

In the new race, Artemis and Parzival participate, but break off track onto a side street, driving their way to Battery Park and find an invisible bridge straight to the Statue of Liberty. Parzival gets there first, and wins, receiving the first key from Anorak, much to Artemis’ chagrin. Parzival also receives a scroll with the clue for second key, but shares it with Artemis to work together. Artemis, Aech, Sho, and Daito win and get their own keys too, and form the High-5 guild. Meanwhile, Sorrento plots to either use Parzival to get the Easter Egg, or eliminate him, contacting his friend i-R0k to learn Parzival’s true identity. i-R0k is a character addicted to the Oasis like Parzival, but purely to make money to improve his lifestyle, and considers himself the coolest thing since the Leaning Tower of Cheeza.

The second clue alludes to Halliday’s greatest regrets. Separately, Parzival and Artemis both figure out this is referring to Ogden Morrow’s late wife Karen, who Halliday once dated, but his awkwardness led to them watching a movie instead of going out for a dance. Artemis is beginning to trust Parzival, finding his own goofy charm a little amusing, and invites him to meet her in the Distracted Club, mostly to discuss a hypothesis of hers. Parzival sees this as a date, dressing as Buckaroo Banzai, though Aech tries to dissuade him from seeing this meeting as a date. Aech warns him not to always judge people by how they look and act, but when Parzival cracks a joke that he knows Aech inside and out, the orc falls silent.

Parzival meets Artemis in the club, which Halliday built in the Oasis for Karen, but never took her on a dance. Artemis theorises the club is Halliday’s creation which he despises, as per the clue. The two have a dance as i-R0k listens in on their conversation. But, Parzival blows the whole thing when he introduces himself as Wade, and confesses his love to a baffled Artemis. Just then, IOI agents burst in and shoot the place up to kill Artemis, annoying iR0k. The duo flee, but Artemis and Parzival argue. Artemis accuses Parzival for living in a fantasy, just like Halliday, but he denies this, having nothing to live for in the real world. Unwilling to be compromised, Artemis ditches Parzival, Samantha logging out and raging in private. Still, recalling iR0k was at the club, she asks Daito to keep an eye on Wade from afar.

At home, Wade is contacted by Sorrento, offering him to join IOI and become rich. They discuss Halliday’s love for pop culture, but Sorrento is having most of his “knowledge” fed to him by his minions. Sorrento offers to turn every school in the Oasis into replicas of the one from The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller, but Wade points out the school in those movies was a bad one, concluding Sorrento knows zilch about Halliday’s hobbies, but Sorrento doubts Wade has any true appreciation for them either. With a knee-jerk reaction, Sorrento bombs Wade’s neighbourhood, killing his family, but Wade is saved by Daito.

Samantha and Wade meet face-to-face, and form a better friendship, having both lost loved ones to IOI. Wade admits his own problems in life, being no different from anyone else by using the Oasis to runaway from his troubles, and hoped to win the game solely to escape them entirely. He never tried to help his aunt with her drug problems, or to know her boyfriend better. The only thing he did for them was to buy them better motion suits for the Oasis. In a quiet moment, Wade ends up crying, mourning his lost family. This inspires Samantha to figure out the truth behind the second clue – it is referencing Halliday’s regret to not go dancing with Karen, but in his own way.

This leads Artemis, Parzival, Aech, Daito, and Sho going to the archives and identifying The Shining as the movie Halliday watched with Karen, symbolising his regret for choosing that over a dance. This leads to the awesome Shining sequence, the gang uncovering the dance challenge under the level, which Artemis wins by dancing with a replica of Karen. Artemis also notices Anorak seems a little too human for an avatar, catching him staring longingly at Karen before he awards her the second key. Meanwhile, Sorrento deploys his minion F’Nale Zandor to attack Samantha’s hideout and arrest all of the players there indentured to IOI. Sorrento is then informed by iR0k that the second riddle has been passed.

F’Nale’s forces locate and storm Samantha’s hideout. Wade, Toshiro, and Zhou escape through a hidden exit, but Samantha distracts F’Nale and is arrested to fulfil her father’s debt, much to her horror. The boys run out into the street, Toshiro taking the lead, suggesting they find a new place to lay low and figure out the third key, though Parzival wants to rescue Artemis. Just then, an old truck pulls up, driven by Aech. Parzival is rendered speechless upon discovering his best friend is actually an African-American girl named Helen Harris. In a slightly awkward conversation, Wade apologises for not realising Aech’s gender sooner, though Aech admits she has been conflicted by her own identity, revealing she likes girls, but her own mother disowned because of this. Wade comforts Aech, promising to watch her back, and they share a hug.

Samantha finds herself in her worst nightmare, trapped in a detention centre, unable to remove her helmet or log out, now facing a lifetime of debt. She deliberately causes a riot, but finds her helmet can stun her for disobedience. iR0k hacks Artemis’ data, stealing the clue to the third key, identifying the location is in Castle Anorak on Planet Doom. He finds a retro 1980s TV set on an iced over lake with an Atari console, concluding a certain game has to be won to get the key. Sorrento sends out the Sixers to play each game, whilst his Halliday College experts figure out which game is the right one to play.

In Aech’s workshop, the High-5 learn the third riddle has been found and now the clock is running. They successfully hack Sorrento’s rig to fool him into thinking they are holding him hostage, to access the IOI system and find where Samantha is. Whilst Aech, Daito, and Sho help Artemis escape her confinement, Parzival confronts Sorrento and asks him why he hates Halliday and the Oasis so much.

Sorrento explains he had a daughter, Donna, who was recruited to be a beta tester for the Oasis, whilst he worked as an intern for Halliday. But, Donna became addicted to the Oasis. When Sorrento tried to stop her constant playing, Donna ran away and was later found dead, wearing an Oasis headset. Sorrento came to view the Oasis as a drug, and wishes to unplug everyone from it, even if it means bringing down the world’s economy to do it. I feel this makes Sorrento’s reasons a little more sympathetic, rather than just being an archetypal corporate badguy. It makes him more tragic, blinded by his own hatred and grief.

Sorrento figures out he’s been hacked and logs out, ordering iR0k to create a forcefield around Castle Anorak using the Orb of Osuvox from Excalibur. Samantha sneaks into Sorrento’s rig to uncover how to deactive the orb’s magic, before joining the Sixers in the IOI war room. Parzival and Aech arrive at the castle, Aech piloting Voltron. Daito and Sho promise to join the fight when the time is right. Parzival summons an army of Oasis users to fight for their freedom. Samantha, as Artemis, manages to deactivate the orb, destroying the barrier. The Gunters engage the Sixers in battle, Sorrento promising to clear those in debt of their payments if they destroy the Gunters’ avatars.

What follows would be one hell of a battle with tons of cameos from iconic characters, weapons, and vehicles, even more than what the movie offered, including tons of Disney characters. Artemis monitors the Sixers trying and failing to clear the third riddle, but realises Adventure is the winning game. She escapes outside, steals a bike, and races out into the field to reunite with her friends. Sorrento and iR0k fight back with their own weapons, including Megatron, the Martian tripods, and an enormous railgun. They then summon MechaGodzilla, and more alarmingly, the Iron Giant, piloted by Sorrento. The Iron Giant is in weapon mode, but could be made pacifistic if someone hit it in the head as per the film.

Cue Daito and Sho leaping out of the sky, piloting the RX-78-2 Gundam and Optimus Prime. The Gundam smashes into the Iron Giant’s head, making it switch sides, and ejecting Sorrento, who retreats whilst i-R0k takes on everyone in MechaGodzilla. The greatest giant robots in history have a fight, i-R0k defeating Daito, but the Iron Giant and Aech tackle MechaGodzilla into the lava lake around the castle, taking i-R0k with them. Artemis, Parzival, and Sho chase Sorrento, who recognises Artemis when she tattoos herself with a replica of Samantha’s birthmark. He realises she is in the war room and logs out. To save her, Parzival reluctantly shoots Artemis, destroying Samantha’s avatar, but she sneaks out of the IOI building and is picked up in Aech’s truck.

Parzival and Sho approach the Atari TV, finding a Sixer has completed the game, only to fall through the ice like all others. Parzival realises the game must be played a different way, only for Sorrento to show up, armed with a bomb which can wipe out every avatar on a planet. He once again tries to convince Parzival to give up, but he refuses, performing a Hadouken and blows up the bomb, taking out everyone on Planet Doom. Sorrento tells F’Nale to track down Aech’s truck and kill everyone onboard.

Parzival discovers he has survived the explosion thanks to a quarter the Curator gave him, actually a 1-UP extra life, a rare item in the Oasis. Parzival plays Adventure, guessing the true goal is to find the easter egg hidden within by programmer Warren Robinett. He completes the task, and Anorak gives him the third key, which takes him into a golden chamber where an enormous glowing egg sits on a pedestal. Wade’s friends are able to listen in as Anorak presents Parzival with a contract to sign to make him the sole proprietor of the Oasis. However, Parzival pauses, recognising the contract as the one Ogden Morrow signed when he left Gregarious Games, handing over all assets to Halliday. Realising this was the biggest regret Halliday made, Parzival refuses to sign the contract.

Anorak smiles, and tells Parzival that he is worthy, but must solve one more clue. The golden temple turns into sand, Anorak telling Parzival to meet him “at the beginning”. Wade is forcefully logged out of the Oasis, but finds a code, actually co-ordinates, to a specific location. F’Nale finds the truck and attacks it, but Toshiro kicks her out onto the road. With a little research, the High-5 locate the co-ordinates – as being the childhood home of Halliday in Columbus. Hearing that F’Nale has failed, but Parzival lacks the Easter Egg, Sorrento with gun in hand, heads out finish the job himself.

The High-5 reach Halliday’s childhood home, going up to his old bedroom and find a table with several Oasis headsets on it. The five put them on, and find themselves in a recreation of a young James Halliday’s bedroom, where said boy is playing a video game. The elderly Halliday appears, the High-5 agreeing that they want to rule over the Oasis together, but also have to use the winning fortune to help fix problems in the real world. Halliday searches the room for the Easter Egg, explaining he made the Oasis to hide from the real world, and regretted it for the rest of his life, as he did with so many things. He concludes as frightening as the real world can be, it is the only place where you can get a decent meal.

Halliday produces the golden Easter Egg and hands it over to the High-5. In the real world, someone parks their SUV up outside and steps up to the house. They enter the room, and grab one of the headsets. The teenagers are astonished as the Curator appears, Halliday smiling and addressing him as Ogden Morrow. Ogden explains he received a message in his e-mail about the co-ordinates, but was unaware about the game. Wade asks if Ogden can be included in the running of the Oasis, with Halliday agrees too, expressing regret for losing his best friend, the old men making peace. Halliday also points out the big red button which will shut down the Oasis permanently.

Sorrento appears in his own avatar, confronting Halliday and Ogden over the death of his daughter and the failure of the Oasis, Ogden reminded of his own forgotten concerns about addiction. Halliday, recalling Ogden's concerns, and reminded of his own fears of the real world, realises how greatly Sorrento has changed since being an intern. Halliday apologises to Sorrento, but knows it won't bring back Donna. Samantha, finding herself feeling sympathy for Sorrento, knowing what it is like to lose a loved one, offers him the Easter Egg, asking if he would like to fix the Oasis or destroy it. Sorrento is tempted by the big red button, but declines. He can at least acknowledge that his daughter loved the Oasis and they had fun in it together - like Samantha did with her father. He realises his actions could do more damage to the economy than the Oasis ever could, and instead suggests to the High-5 on setting limitations to the time players can be in the virtual reality. Sorrento congratulates Artemis on her victory, removes his visor, shoots it with his gun and leaves. Cops show up and arrest Sorrento, Aech having acquired several videos of Sorrento openly confessing to attempted murder.

Halliday and his younger self leave the Oasis, Parzival asking that if James Halliday is dead, then what is the elderly avatar standing before them. Halliday merely smiles, thanks the players for enjoying his game, and departs with his younger self, giving a farewell nod to Ogden.

Wade, Samantha, Helen, Toshiro, Zhou, and Ogden become the new owners of Gregarious Games and the Oasis, shut down IOI's detention centres, and agree to use its finances to not only improve the Oasis, but to fix the ongoing problems around the world.