Engagements

[DiPSU224]

Hey guys...
I need to take some time to vent here and see if there are other girls (or even guys) in my position. Is anyone else here desperate to be engaged?? I'm talking people in long-term relationships. I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now, and in the last year I have seen 13 of my friends become engaged, most of which haven't even been dating for over a year. I love my friends and am truely happy for all of them, but I am so frustrated that I am almost the last one getting to plan a wedding. While my boyfriend and I have talked about it, he wants to make sure he has plenty of money to buy me a nice ring and that we have enough money to live on. I understand this, and I know this is the smart and logical thing to do, but I just want to be engaged so bad! Anyone else crazy like me?? I hope at least someone is, so I don't feel like such a dork!

 

[AliciaLuvzDizne]

no im not crazy but i know what you're going through.
Ive been dating Joel for 2 years now and My roommate has been with her boyfriend for only one month longer, and i will be a bridesmaid in her wedding on the 26th.

My OTHER roommate just got engaged 2 weeks ago or so and she wants to get married in august. Im getting a little anxious too but im not really ready to be anyone's wife lol
i just want a big diamond ring

dont worry your time will come!! or should i say, OUR time will come :sohappy:
right now im just trying to get Joel to move out of his house. but its not a priority for him lol
owell

 

[tigsmom]

Coming from 22 years of marriage (we dated 4 years before we got engaged)...you will never have enough money, a small diamond says "I love you" just as much as a large one, and no you aren't crazy. We girls always want what our friends have. :lol:

Take your time, find a guy who loves you for who you are on the inside (and you him). It really is worth waiting for. I promise.

From an email I once received...


Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

 

[Erika]

Eh... I was the first of my friends to get married- and now they are all having bigger and fancier weddings than mine... and making me do all kinds of stuff for them (I never asked my attendants for a thing! and we were young, and didn't know what everybody was supposed to be doing anyway).

So don't feel too bad.

There is a trade-off :lol:

 

[speck76]

Is an engagement something you really want to rush? Granted, I am not in a long term relationship now, and I have only had a few short ones in the last year or two, but I am in NO rush to get married. No, I am not afraid of commitment or whatever, but I am also 28, and really I am still learning who I am. Dipsu, you are only 22/23...you still have a lot of life to live. Most of your friends may be getting engaged right now, but the majority of them will not be married by the time they are 30. (I am not trying to be an a$$hole, but that is based on the current stats) It is no fun being an early thirtysomething divorcee...I know enough of them.

 

[DiPSU224]

Thanks guys! It always feels good to hear feedback from other people. I think what makes it so hard sometimes is that some of my friends act like they are so much better because they are engaged. They make comments making it seem like my boyfriend doesn't want to get married because he hasn't asked yet, or make catty comments about their rings...you all know how girls can be!

Like tigsmom says, a small diamond means i love you just as much as a huge one and I would love a cubic zirconia from Chris just as much as a diamond if that was all he could afford.

Thanks again, it's good to hear some encouraging words

 

[speck76]

Originally posted by DiPSU224
I think what makes it so hard sometimes is that some of my friends act like they are so much better because they are engaged. They make comments making it seem like my boyfriend doesn't want to get married because he hasn't asked yet, or make catty comments about their rings...you all know how girls can be!

and these are your friends?

 

[Disney2002]

Coming up on 3 years... still want to wait longer to see what comes of new jobs and such. I've just seen so many people rush into things... I feel, if you love the person, marriage is just a little something extra. You should be happy to be with them regardless.

 

[Erika]

Originally posted by speck76
and these are your friends?

:lol: I was thinking the same thing.

You will get engaged when the time is right for YOU. Every couple is different and it's good to use your head and follow a plan now and then.

You can look at parenthood the same way- some couples we know got married AFTER we did and have already started familes- 1 and 2 kids already! We haven't even begun trying yet! But that doesn't mean that they are better than we are or that we are doing something wrong. We are enjoying our time together now and they will be enjoying THEIR time together down the road when we are still trying to put our kids through school.

Ooooh! Another trade off!

I guess they are everywhere

 

[DiPSU224]

Originally posted by speck76
and these are your friends?

Haha I know...But sometimes unfortunately this is how girls can be. I really hope that you guys don't think that I am complaining about my boyfriend, because I love him so much and am thankful everyday for our relationship and am so happy to be with him. A proposal and a wedding are things that girls dream of since they are little girls. Sometimes when we feel we've met our Prince Charming, we get a little anxious and want to start our happily ever after...

 

[speck76]

Originally posted by DiPSU224
Haha I know...But sometimes unfortunately this is how girls can be. I really hope that you guys don't think that I am complaining about my boyfriend, because I love him so much and am thankful everyday for our relationship and am so happy to be with him. A proposal and a wedding are things that girls dream of since they are little girls. Sometimes when we feel we've met our Prince Charming, we get a little anxious and want to start our happily ever after...

Why don't you propose to him?

 

[DiPSU224]

Originally posted by speck76
Why don't you propose to him?

:lol:

No way! Then I would never get that moment where he gets down on one knee...

I know, I'm complaining I want it so bad, but yet I won't do it myself...I'm picky, aren't I?

 

[Erika]

Originally posted by speck76
Why don't you propose to him?

:drevil:




It is true- girls can be a little evil. My friend got engaged last year- her other friend was already planning a wedding. Well, as soon as my friend got engaged, this other girl started hiding all her stuff and would not tell her ANYTHING- who she was using for flowers, etc, even went to their hairdresser (they both use the same one) and asked him NOT to do my friend's hair for her wedding :lol:

The funniest part is, they are standing up as bridesmaids in each other's ceremonies!

Eh...evil girls... who needs 'em.

 

[Erika]

Originally posted by DiPSU224
:lol:

No way! Then I would never get that moment where he gets down on one knee...

I know, I'm complaining I want it so bad, but yet I won't do it myself...I'm picky, aren't I?

You're not picky. You're a girl. :wave:

 

[speck76]

Originally posted by DiPSU224
:lol:

No way! Then I would never get that moment where he gets down on one knee...

I know, I'm complaining I want it so bad, but yet I won't do it myself...I'm picky, aren't I?

Yes you are

I don't know...I think that my if my girlfriend (when/if I meet the next Miss Right) even started to get down on a knee to propose I would break down (and my emotions are kept very guarded)

I guess it is just one of those things, you can either "miss the moment" and speed things up, or you can wait for it....you may be waiting a while, or it may never happen (again...not trying to be an a$$hole)

 

[DiPSU224]

Originally posted by Erika
:drevil:




It is true- girls can be a little evil. My friend got engaged last year- her other friend was already planning a wedding. Well, as soon as my friend got engaged, this other girl started hiding all her stuff and would not tell her ANYTHING- who she was using for flowers, etc, even went to their hairdresser (they both use the same one) and asked him NOT to do my friend's hair for her wedding :lol:

The funniest part is, they are standing up as bridesmaids in each other's ceremonies!

Eh...evil girls... who needs 'em.

Haha...one girl who was very good at rubbing her engagment in my face (the one who actually said if Chris were going to ask me, he would have already) went and changed the color scheme of her wedding after I told her what I wanted mine to be. She changed everything from the bridesmaids dresses to the flowers and then wanted to know what song I had picked out for our first dance. Needless to say, I kept that to myself...

But Speck, you are not being an a$$ at all. It's good to hear what a guy thinks about this stuff because I haven't really discussed it with any guys. You could possibly be right...I may be waiting for awhile, but I would wait forever for Chris and he knows that.

 

[MouseMadness]

Hmmm, I was married at 19 and had my 4th kid before my 26th birthday, which is how I suggest EVERYBODY do it!




Mmmmmmmm, you can almost TASTE the sarcasm!! :slurp: :lookaroun

 

[speck76]

Originally posted by MouseMadness
Hmmm, I had my 4th kid before my 26th birthday...

...and then she found out how babies are made:drevil: :lol:

 

[MouseMadness]

Originally posted by speck76
...and then she found out how babies are made:drevil: :lol:

Actually, I'm still not too sure... :veryconfu

 

[speck76]

Originally posted by MouseMadness
Actually, I'm still not too sure... :veryconfu

Well...you have been two years without poppin' out another baby girl, so something must have clicked...unless something else is not clicking~