http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL_4Tunl_tI
You know it's true.
- WondersOfLife
The last original pavilion. :king:
You know it's true.
- WondersOfLife
The last original pavilion. :king:
-
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Disney World Jokes
- Thread starter WondersOfLife
- Start date
unkadug
Follower of "Saget"The Cult
RedFurredCadet
Active Member
So I've recently popped up on this post, and the only joke I could cough up is a lame pun...
There were two loners at WOL and they recently held a discussion between each other/.
1: So you like learning something about the brain, huh?
2: No, why?
1: Simple. It makes me Buzzy just sharing it with you!
*gets hit with rock tossed from the audience*
There were two loners at WOL and they recently held a discussion between each other/.
1: So you like learning something about the brain, huh?
2: No, why?
1: Simple. It makes me Buzzy just sharing it with you!
*gets hit with rock tossed from the audience*
lol, second that action! (jk) I love stupid no-so-funny jokes...for whatever reason.. I just do.
- WondersOfLife
The last original pavilion. :king:
Crockett
Banned
It was a dark, stormy night in Tortuga.
Captain Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Davy Jones walk into a large tavern and order three bottles of the finest rum.
Davy Jones says, "I bet I can drink this faster than you guys," and with that gulps down the entire bottle in six seconds flat.
Will Turner, not wishing to be outdone says, " I'll take that bet" and immediately gulps the bottle down, this time in 5 seconds.
Captain Jack Sparrow just sits there for a few seconds, staring at his bottle of rum.
"What's the hold-up?" Asks Davy Jones
"I am waiting for the opportune moment" replies Captain Jack Sparrow.
"Well you can't just sit there all night" says Will Turner.
Once again, Jack says "I am waiting for the opportune moment."
A good ten minutes goes by, and other folks in the tavern start to notice Captain Jack's odd behavior.
Another ten minutes goes by.
Finally, Captain Jack picks up the bottle of rum, and drinks it in 4 seconds flat.
Then Jack calls over the tavern owner.
"Has this nasty weather impacted business much?" asks Captain Jack.
"No, not really." answers the tavern owner. "It does slow down a bit this time of year, but things will pick up again now in May or so"
"I suppose it will". Says Davy Jones, nodding.
"By the way Captain Jack," inquires Will Turner. "Why did it take so long for you to finally drink your bottle of rum?"
"I wasn't thirsty at the time." Says Captain Jack.
"Oh, I see." responds Will Turner.
"Well boys, is it about time we leave Tortuga and head back out to sea?" asks Captain Jack.
"Indeed it is." responds Davy Jones.
The three pirates left Tortuga and went on their way.
Captain Jack Sparrow, Will Turner, and Davy Jones walk into a large tavern and order three bottles of the finest rum.
Davy Jones says, "I bet I can drink this faster than you guys," and with that gulps down the entire bottle in six seconds flat.
Will Turner, not wishing to be outdone says, " I'll take that bet" and immediately gulps the bottle down, this time in 5 seconds.
Captain Jack Sparrow just sits there for a few seconds, staring at his bottle of rum.
"What's the hold-up?" Asks Davy Jones
"I am waiting for the opportune moment" replies Captain Jack Sparrow.
"Well you can't just sit there all night" says Will Turner.
Once again, Jack says "I am waiting for the opportune moment."
A good ten minutes goes by, and other folks in the tavern start to notice Captain Jack's odd behavior.
Another ten minutes goes by.
Finally, Captain Jack picks up the bottle of rum, and drinks it in 4 seconds flat.
Then Jack calls over the tavern owner.
"Has this nasty weather impacted business much?" asks Captain Jack.
"No, not really." answers the tavern owner. "It does slow down a bit this time of year, but things will pick up again now in May or so"
"I suppose it will". Says Davy Jones, nodding.
"By the way Captain Jack," inquires Will Turner. "Why did it take so long for you to finally drink your bottle of rum?"
"I wasn't thirsty at the time." Says Captain Jack.
"Oh, I see." responds Will Turner.
"Well boys, is it about time we leave Tortuga and head back out to sea?" asks Captain Jack.
"Indeed it is." responds Davy Jones.
The three pirates left Tortuga and went on their way.
Kids do have a sense of humor.
Patrick_Ears
Well-Known Member
:lol::lol::lol: Loved that!!
I loved it too! I was thinking something would pop out and scare me at the end... :lookaroun
- WondersOfLife
The last original pavilion. :king:
RedFurredCadet
Active Member
Another joke I have got from a strange dream I had recently:
"If Buzzy had to be rehired after losing his current job, do you think he'll survive being hired for It's a Small World?"
"If Buzzy had to be rehired after losing his current job, do you think he'll survive being hired for It's a Small World?"
Fantasmic
Well-Known Member
:roflol:
FigmenttheDragon
New Member
DisneyManOne
Well-Known Member
Reviving this thread!!! 
And what better way to revive a joke thread than with parodying commercials? Maestro, if you please...
When he stays “off-property”, it becomes “on-property”.
He once lived for an entire year on churros, corn dogs, and Dole Whip.
He actually found something to like about Stitch's Great Escape.
He is allowed to take flash photography…but never does.
He attends Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party dressed as himself.
Disneyland offers a “Walk in His Footsteps” tour.
In every on-ride picture his hair is perfect (and his beard looks marvelous).
The park is full of hidden “hims”.
Characters stand in line to have their pictures taken with him.
Broken rides start back up when he gets in line – even ones that are down for refurbishment.
He once rode Carousel of Progress backwards and went back in time.
He never gets Jar-Jar Binks on Star Tours.
When he would attend Frozen Summer Fun, it wouldn’t be lame.
He doesn’t require special glasses to see the 3D shows.
He can ride Small World and not want to strangle the next person he hears humming that song.
He keeps his arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, without being asked.
Imagineers ask how they can get his job.
He stands in line at City Hall to give compliments.
He arrives early to save the perfect spot for watching fireworks, and then gives it up to anyone who looks like they’ve had a bad day.
When he rides an attraction, pre-recorded spiels include his name.
He can buy gum.
He is…the most interesting Disney fan in the world.
“I don’t always go to theme parks. But when I do, I prefer Walt Disney World. Stay happy, my friends.”
And what better way to revive a joke thread than with parodying commercials? Maestro, if you please...
When he stays “off-property”, it becomes “on-property”.
He once lived for an entire year on churros, corn dogs, and Dole Whip.
He actually found something to like about Stitch's Great Escape.
He is allowed to take flash photography…but never does.
He attends Mickey’s Not-So-Scary Halloween Party dressed as himself.
Disneyland offers a “Walk in His Footsteps” tour.
In every on-ride picture his hair is perfect (and his beard looks marvelous).
The park is full of hidden “hims”.
Characters stand in line to have their pictures taken with him.
Broken rides start back up when he gets in line – even ones that are down for refurbishment.
He once rode Carousel of Progress backwards and went back in time.
He never gets Jar-Jar Binks on Star Tours.
When he would attend Frozen Summer Fun, it wouldn’t be lame.
He doesn’t require special glasses to see the 3D shows.
He can ride Small World and not want to strangle the next person he hears humming that song.
He keeps his arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, without being asked.
Imagineers ask how they can get his job.
He stands in line at City Hall to give compliments.
He arrives early to save the perfect spot for watching fireworks, and then gives it up to anyone who looks like they’ve had a bad day.
When he rides an attraction, pre-recorded spiels include his name.
He can buy gum.
He is…the most interesting Disney fan in the world.
“I don’t always go to theme parks. But when I do, I prefer Walt Disney World. Stay happy, my friends.”
ewensell3
Well-Known Member
Works for Chuck Norris facts as well.
The Yeti isn't broken. He's hiding from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris rides Pirates of the Caribbean, he wins the redhead.
When Chuck Norris eats at Pecos Bills, he gets his own private toppings bar.
Chuck Norris is the one who lights all the fire effects on the inferno barge using just a Zippo lighter.
Chuck Norris can Tokyo Drift the Tomorrowland Speedway cars without jumping the rail.
Chuck Norris can do the Kessel Run in a StarSpeeder 3000 in 10 parsecs.
Chuck Norris can ride the monorail to Animal Kingdom.
The Yeti isn't broken. He's hiding from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris rides Pirates of the Caribbean, he wins the redhead.
When Chuck Norris eats at Pecos Bills, he gets his own private toppings bar.
Chuck Norris is the one who lights all the fire effects on the inferno barge using just a Zippo lighter.
Chuck Norris can Tokyo Drift the Tomorrowland Speedway cars without jumping the rail.
Chuck Norris can do the Kessel Run in a StarSpeeder 3000 in 10 parsecs.
Chuck Norris can ride the monorail to Animal Kingdom.
DisneyManOne
Well-Known Member
MiceChat humorist Mike Jacka posted this thing. I thought it was really funny. So, with that said, I give you...
This is Disneyland.
It is the happiest place on earth.
Happy, happy, happy.
It is morning.
Daddy wanted to beat the lines.
Mommy wanted to sleep in.
They decided to compromise.
Mommy woke up earlier than she wanted.
Yawn, yawn, yawn.
Daddy looks at the long lines and mutters.
Mutter, mutter, mutter.
Mommy says, “Did you say something?”
Daddy says, “Let’s buy the tickets.”
Silence, silence, silence.
This is the security checkpoint.
This will keep you safe.
Protect, protect, protect.
They will keep out the crazy people.
They will keep out the scary people.
They will keep out the terrorists.
What fun thoughts to start your day.
See the guests open their bags.
See the security guards look in.
Peek, peek, peek.
Don’t you feel safer now?
This is the ticket booth.
Daddy asks “How much?”
Curse, curse, curse.
Daddy brings out his card.
Charge, charge, charge.
Silly Daddy. He needs tickets for more than one day.
“How much?” he asks.
Curse, curse, curse.
Charge, charge, charge.
Oh, that’s right. You want to go to more than one park.
“How much more?” Daddy asks.
Curse! Curse! Curse!
Charge, charge, oops.
Something’s wrong with Daddy’s card.
You are glad Daddy already paid for the return trip.
You are standing in a line.
You’ve already been in a bunch of other lines.
You stood in line for security and for tickets and to get in the park.
Wait, wait, wait.
There will be many more lines.
There will be lines to ride rides…to get food…to buy gifts…to see shows.
There is even a line to get a Fastpass.
What is a Fastpass?
That is a ticket that lets you get in another line.
Try not to think about it.
Wait, wait, wait.
You get to the front of this line and Daddy asks “Where are the restrooms?”
The nice lady points to another line.
This could be the worst line of all.
These are the rides.
Silly Disneyland. They call them attractions.
But we know they are really rides.
This is the Haunted Mansion.
Scare, scare, scare.
It is an old ride. It is very popular.
This is Pirates of the Caribbean.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Yo ho.
It is an old ride. It is very popular.
“Where are the new rides?” You ask.
Here is Mickey and the Magical Map.
Here is Winnie the Pooh.
Here is the Fantasy Faire.
“Are they popular?” You ask.
No one answers as you head for Small World.
This is a churro. This is a corn dog. This is a caramel apple.
This is a turkey leg. This is a chimichanga. This is a Dole Whip.
This is a Mickey ice cream. This is a Mickey Beignet.
This is more food than you’ve ever seen in your short, little life.
Eat, eat, eat.
Snack, snack, snack.
Chomp, chomp, chomp.
Daddy says it’s time for dinner.
You hold your stomach and roll your eyes.
Hey, there’s the Mad Tea Party.
Spin, spin, spin.
Good news! Now you have room for dinner.
Later Mommy and Daddy will go to Trader Sam’s by themselves.
Now that’s a meal.
These people are annual passholders.
They can go to the park any time they want.
Lucky, lucky, lucky.
They call themselves “APs”.
Other people call them many other things.
They complain that items are not appropriately scaled.
They complain that the theme is not consistently maintained.
They complain that things don’t line up.
Complain, complain, complain.
They will tell you how many times they’ve been to Disneyland.
They will tell you they are experts on Disneyland.
They will tell you why Disneyland is not as good as it used to be.
What they won’t tell you is how to make them shut up.
You are in a store full of Disneyland souvenirs.
When you first came to the park the stores were empty.
Echo, echo, echo.
Now the park is closing and the stores are full.
They are crowded and hot.
Stink, stink, stink.
Daddy says Mommy is buying up the store.
Shop, shop, shop.
Mommy is in line to buy all her gifts.
“How will we pay for all this?” You ask.
Mommy opens her purse.
“Daddy doesn’t know about all my cards”.
Charge, charge, charge.
You can learn a lot from your Mommy.
It is the end of the day.
You waited in a line to get on the tram.
One last line. One last ride.
You are very tired. You hardly remember your day.
You think you remember rides.
You think you remember food.
You think you remember parades.
You know you remember people.
You know you remember lines.
Wait, wait, wait.
Daddy says, “Maybe we should get annual passes.”
You think that is a good idea.
And you promise you would never complain.
Happy, happy, happy.
The End.
A Guide to Disneyland For the Very Young
This is Disneyland.
It is the happiest place on earth.
Happy, happy, happy.
It is morning.
Daddy wanted to beat the lines.
Mommy wanted to sleep in.
They decided to compromise.
Mommy woke up earlier than she wanted.
Yawn, yawn, yawn.
Daddy looks at the long lines and mutters.
Mutter, mutter, mutter.
Mommy says, “Did you say something?”
Daddy says, “Let’s buy the tickets.”
Silence, silence, silence.
This is the security checkpoint.
This will keep you safe.
Protect, protect, protect.
They will keep out the crazy people.
They will keep out the scary people.
They will keep out the terrorists.
What fun thoughts to start your day.
See the guests open their bags.
See the security guards look in.
Peek, peek, peek.
Don’t you feel safer now?
This is the ticket booth.
Daddy asks “How much?”
Curse, curse, curse.
Daddy brings out his card.
Charge, charge, charge.
Silly Daddy. He needs tickets for more than one day.
“How much?” he asks.
Curse, curse, curse.
Charge, charge, charge.
Oh, that’s right. You want to go to more than one park.
“How much more?” Daddy asks.
Curse! Curse! Curse!
Charge, charge, oops.
Something’s wrong with Daddy’s card.
You are glad Daddy already paid for the return trip.
You are standing in a line.
You’ve already been in a bunch of other lines.
You stood in line for security and for tickets and to get in the park.
Wait, wait, wait.
There will be many more lines.
There will be lines to ride rides…to get food…to buy gifts…to see shows.
There is even a line to get a Fastpass.
What is a Fastpass?
That is a ticket that lets you get in another line.
Try not to think about it.
Wait, wait, wait.
You get to the front of this line and Daddy asks “Where are the restrooms?”
The nice lady points to another line.
This could be the worst line of all.
These are the rides.
Silly Disneyland. They call them attractions.
But we know they are really rides.
This is the Haunted Mansion.
Scare, scare, scare.
It is an old ride. It is very popular.
This is Pirates of the Caribbean.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Yo ho.
It is an old ride. It is very popular.
“Where are the new rides?” You ask.
Here is Mickey and the Magical Map.
Here is Winnie the Pooh.
Here is the Fantasy Faire.
“Are they popular?” You ask.
No one answers as you head for Small World.
This is a churro. This is a corn dog. This is a caramel apple.
This is a turkey leg. This is a chimichanga. This is a Dole Whip.
This is a Mickey ice cream. This is a Mickey Beignet.
This is more food than you’ve ever seen in your short, little life.
Eat, eat, eat.
Snack, snack, snack.
Chomp, chomp, chomp.
Daddy says it’s time for dinner.
You hold your stomach and roll your eyes.
Hey, there’s the Mad Tea Party.
Spin, spin, spin.
Good news! Now you have room for dinner.
Later Mommy and Daddy will go to Trader Sam’s by themselves.
Now that’s a meal.
These people are annual passholders.
They can go to the park any time they want.
Lucky, lucky, lucky.
They call themselves “APs”.
Other people call them many other things.
They complain that items are not appropriately scaled.
They complain that the theme is not consistently maintained.
They complain that things don’t line up.
Complain, complain, complain.
They will tell you how many times they’ve been to Disneyland.
They will tell you they are experts on Disneyland.
They will tell you why Disneyland is not as good as it used to be.
What they won’t tell you is how to make them shut up.
You are in a store full of Disneyland souvenirs.
When you first came to the park the stores were empty.
Echo, echo, echo.
Now the park is closing and the stores are full.
They are crowded and hot.
Stink, stink, stink.
Daddy says Mommy is buying up the store.
Shop, shop, shop.
Mommy is in line to buy all her gifts.
“How will we pay for all this?” You ask.
Mommy opens her purse.
“Daddy doesn’t know about all my cards”.
Charge, charge, charge.
You can learn a lot from your Mommy.
It is the end of the day.
You waited in a line to get on the tram.
One last line. One last ride.
You are very tired. You hardly remember your day.
You think you remember rides.
You think you remember food.
You think you remember parades.
You know you remember people.
You know you remember lines.
Wait, wait, wait.
Daddy says, “Maybe we should get annual passes.”
You think that is a good idea.
And you promise you would never complain.
Happy, happy, happy.
The End.
Goofyernmost
Well-Known Member
Have you seen anyone about that particular obsession, it seem a little disconcerting.
POLY LOVER
Well-Known Member
FLAG , 20 yards unsportsmanlike like conduct.
DisneyManOne
Well-Known Member
I think I've heard about Asperger's. According to Wikipedia, people with Asperger's often display intense interests. I assume your intense interest revolves around Alien Encounter, particularly S.I.R.?
Goofyernmost
Well-Known Member
There is just a bit of a difference.
I'll have to take your word for that.
This thread jump makes me question my existence on these forums 4 or 5 years ago..