Dark PerGron's Manor of Mysteries [Hype Thread] {Sign Ups}

[ThemeParkPriest]

So DisneySky was a rumor in 2018?

New Park "Tokyo DisneySky" Reportedly Coming to Tokyo Disney Resort

A brand new park is reportedly coming to Tokyo Disney Resort for 2022.

tdrexplorer.com

 

[PerGron]

2024 is off to a terrible start for movies, but a great start for me trying to get to a full 365 new releases this year (it's the challenge my friends and I issued to each other). For January, I'm behind the ideal 31, but not far enough I cant catch up with some double features here and there. In January I caught 24 new releases, so here they are ranked.

Note: Some of the movies had limited runs in theaters last year, but for the purposes of the challenge, my friends and I determined a "2024 film" as any film that gets a wide release in the states. If we see a movie in a limited run from this year, it counts, but any movie from last year that didn't get a wide run also counts. Anyway, here we go.

#24- Foe

Paul Mescal and Saoirse Ronan in a sci-fi film about clones set in the rural USA in the near future where neither of these VERY IRISH actors are allowed to have their accents and instead force American ones. Absolutely terrible movie too.

#23- Land of Bad

Even though it's not out until February, I caught this one because of a Regal Mystery Movie and it's just a terrible bro war movie that didn't need to be made nor seen.

#22- The Windigo

I was really hoping for an interesting wendigo horror movie and this one (with an all-indigenous cast) seemed like it could at least be interesting... It was not. Easily one of the least likeable protagonists I've seen in a long time and felt like it came right off the SYFY channel.

#21- The Bricklayer

Easily one of the most forgettable movies I've seen. Had a few decent action moments, but I mean it when I tell you I saw this on January 15th and have already completely forgotten 99% of what happened.

#20- Night Swim

January horror is notoriously really bad, and Blumhouse has been really hit or miss recently too, so I wasn't expecting much, but I was still disappointed.

#19- Destroy All Neighbors

If January horror is notoriously bad, January horror comedies are notoriously atrocious. Still, I had a lot of respect for the prosthetics, puppetry, and other effects, I just couldn't get behind the lead or the story. Of these bad ones though, it's the one I'd recommend checking out the most.

#18- Role Play

Kaley Cuoco is not believable as a globe-trotting assassin and her and David Oyelowo have zero chemistry. I'm not a fan of rom-coms usually, but I'd rather this movie have stuck to being a rom-com than whatever it devolved into.

#17- Spring Lakes

More January horror schlock with a bad lead performance, but at least here some of the cinematography was cool and one of the cult members was clearly having a blast being absolutely insane, so that brought a little enjoyment.

#16- BitConned

My first movie of the year dropping on Jan 1, this was a really mediocre true crime documentary about a crypto scam that unfortunately ignores the fact that crypto is, inherently, a scam.

#15- Justice League: Crisis on Infinite Earths Part One

I'm not a DC fan and I have barely watched any of the DC animated films so I was out of the loop here, but at least it's a better The Flash than The Flash (2023). ​

 

[PerGron]

(Cont.)

#14- Beautiful Wedding

I know I just said I don't like rom-coms, but this was a date night movie so it wasn't really my choice (she didn't want to go see The Beekeeper again). Either way, it's got some funny moments, but it's a super toxic couple and I was actively rooting against them the whole time.

#13- Founders Day

A self-described "political slasher" this is one of those movies I can see some Reddit fedora-wearing guy say is "deep" and "dismantles the system" but is really just kind of a way worse Scream without any of the clever satire and abysmal acting.

#12- Lift

A super generic heist movie that literally flashes "the hacker" across the screen in the year of our lord 2024. That being said, it's easily the most tolerable Kevin Hart role in a long time.

#11- The Underdoggs

Quite literally a rated r beat-for-beat recreation of The Mighty Ducks, Champions, or Next Goal Wins but with more cursing and weed. Snoop is charismatic though and I do have a soft spot for underdog sports movies.

#10- The Kitchen

This was a solid-enough dystopian sci-fi movie with Daniel Kaluuya making his directorial debut, but by the end of the year, this is gonna be really forgettable and in the middle of the pack.

#9- The Book of Clarence

This didn't know if it wanted to be a Biblical satire like The Life of Brian or a biblical epic like Ben Hur and instead, ends up flopping around like a fish for a while before ending. It had some laughs and I love LaKeith Stanfield, but man, this one was a letdown.

#8- The Seeding

This is indie horror done right. It's by no means a great movie, but it has creepy vibes and decent enough acting. My big issue is it sets up a premise with feral children keeping a guy captive but really doesn't deliver as much feral children as I wanted. It's like a The Hills Have Eyes mixed with a Children of the Corn but if neither the mutants nor the children were in it for more than like 15 minutes.

#7- I.S.S.

I wanted to love this movie, the trailers had me hyped, but unfortunately, the intrigue doesn't last all that long and turns more into a pretty generic disaster film where it loses steam. Still visually impressive though.

#6- Self Reliance

Nick from New Girl directing and starring in a movie opposite Anna Kendrick that is produced by The Lonely Island sounds like it should be laugh out loud funny, but instead, it's a fun premise with some chuckles but is maybe a bit long and doesn't deliver exactly what I wanted. Still a decent enough time.​

 

[PerGron]

(Final)

#5- Origin

I really liked the elements here where it talks about the whole point of the book it's based on, but for whatever reason they made this a narrative feature instead of a documentary like it really should've been, so it sits in this weird spot where the stuff it's doing around the caste issue is great, but the narratives around the main character just grinds it to a halt.

#4- The Beekeeper

Sometimes I really just want a dumb action movie with some dumb action and a nonsense plot so some guy can just go tearing through bad guys, and this delivered that. It was an absolute blast and while I can't call it truly "good" it is fun turn your brain off entertainment.

#3- The Greatest Night in Pop

This doc was well edited and made and contains tons of footage of the We Are the World recording that really made this whole thing feel stressful. I like the song well enough and like what it did even more so I enjoyed watching how it got made.

#2- Society of the Snow

This was a grueling and heartbreaking watch with some amazing visual effects and makeup. It's definitely the best movie of the month from an objective point of view (not that it had much competition) and was just some of the January runoff of the awards season. It should've campaigned harder though, I would've liked to have seen it with more nominations than it got.

#1- Horizon

Yeah, yeah, PerGron picked the nature documentary as the best of the month. But really, it's not often I go into a nature documentary and learn a lot from it; sure, maybe a fact or two here or there, but in this one I learned so much about the environment and habitats of Saudi Arabia and I found that really cool. Plus, some of these shots were just gorgeous.

Anyway, that was my January in film. Follow me on Letterboxd if you want to read my reviews or see the list as it grows. If not, whatever. See ya'll for the recap at the end of the month!
​

 

[TheOriginalTiki]

I also absolutely adored Society of the Snow. I honestly think it eclipses 127 Hours as THE definitive survival movie. Absolutely rooting for it in the two Oscar categories it's nominated in, especially makeup which absolutely blew me away.

Spoiler

the moment where the survivors finally see the rescue planes flying over them and burst out into cheers is straight up one of the most cathartic movie moments I've ever seen. Just pure joy and triumph put on the screen. Generally speaking I loved that the last 20 minutes really focused on the survivors and how the experience impacted them. That was an excellent narrative choice after such an intense previous two hours. The "Buried" scenes are just wild with how utterly gut wrenching and hopeless the situation feels.

 

[TheOriginalTiki]

Going live with @Dark PerGron at the top of the hour!