Clingy Cruiser?

[PrincessNelly_NJ]

So last night, I was talking to my older sister and brother-in-law who are looking to make a Disney cruise their first family vacation. They have 3 kids, 12 yo, 9 yo, and 2yo. However, the 2yo is very clingy towards my sister and violent towards others. My niece has to be with/by my sister at all times. She throw tantrums and will bite, scratch, or kick anyone. So my sister was throwing around the idea of leaving the 2yo at home or just not going for fear that if she attempted to place the 2yo in one of the childrens clubs, she would be difficult for them to handle or that they wouldn't be able to sleep comfortably as my niece must sleep by my sister! Has anyone ever cruised with a difficult/clingy child? Should she go without the 2yo or put the entire trip off until she's older?

Its sad, because they really wanted to go to WDW but with my niece being so attached to my sister, theres no way she could ride any of the larger rides. So my sister didn't feel like it would be worth the money...

 

[Disneyfalcon]

So last night, I was talking to my older sister and brother-in-law who are looking to make a Disney cruise their first family vacation. They have 3 kids, 12 yo, 9 yo, and 2yo. However, the 2yo is very clingy towards my sister and violent towards others. My niece has to be with/by my sister at all times. She throw tantrums and will bite, scratch, or kick anyone. So my sister was throwing around the idea of leaving the 2yo at home or just not going for fear that if she attempted to place the 2yo in one of the childrens clubs, she would be difficult for them to handle or that they wouldn't be able to sleep comfortably as my niece must sleep by my sister! Has anyone ever cruised with a difficult/clingy child? Should she go without the 2yo or put the entire trip off until she's older?

Its sad, because they really wanted to go to WDW but with my niece being so attached to my sister, theres no way she could ride any of the larger rides. So my sister didn't feel like it would be worth the money...

That's tough! The 2 year old can't be left in the children's clubs, but she could be put in the nursery which there is a charge for. That may help them make up their minds. I really don't know what she should do!

 

[PrincessNelly_NJ]

That's tough! The 2 year old can't be left in the children's clubs, but she could be put in the nursery which there is a charge for. That may help them make up their minds. I really don't know what she should do!

she may be 3 by the time they cruise, so she could be in the oceaneer's club... but I'm not sure if she'd take to that any better than the nursery

 

[Disneyfalcon]

she may be 3 by the time they cruise, so she could be in the oceaneer's club... but I'm not sure if she'd take to that any better than the nursery

Yes, from what you're describing, she may not. I'm sorry! That's really hard!

 

[Phonedave]

The kids clubs will call you when you children ask for you. They expect you to answer and at least talk to your child, if not come and get them. If a child is asking to talk to their mother, or stating that they want to leave, the kids club employees are not going to make the child stay.

However they do a very good job at making the kids clubs fun and enjoyable. Many kids end up staying in them rather than hanging out with their parents.

-dave

 

[JCorduroy]

However they do a very good job at making the kids clubs fun and enjoyable. Many kids end up staying in them rather than hanging out with their parents.

-dave

Dave hits the nail on the head. We brought our 3 (almost 4) year old on our cruise aboard the Dream at Halloween last year, and we were super reluctant to leave him in the Oceaneers Club/Lab while we went and enjoyed more grown-up activities. However, after the first day (and a head bump on Rex's tail in the Andy's Room play-place) he was hooked. I went to pick him up one night and his exact words to me were "Daddy, you can leave. I hung out with Stitch and played with all my new friends."

 

[rick3236]

Our baby, now 2 1/2 has travelled with us on two cruises and he is fairly clingy with both of us. However, he absolutely loves the nursery on the Dream. It is the only place that he sleeps without one of us there.

 

[princessmommy]

I'm piggy backing this question. My 4yo will be 5 on cruise is somewhat clingy but is fine as long as her brother is with her. Will she and brother (8) be allowed to be together in the kids clubs?

 

[Master Yoda]

I'm piggy backing this question. My 4yo will be 5 on cruise is somewhat clingy but is fine as long as her brother is with her. Will she and brother (8) be allowed to be together in the kids clubs?

Yes. If I am not mistaken the age break ups are 3-12 for the kids activities, labs, etc.

 

[Zman-ks]

Yes. If I am not mistaken the age break ups are 3-12 for the kids activities, labs, etc.

Thats what I was thinking too...

 

[Gabe1]

So last night, I was talking to my older sister and brother-in-law who are looking to make a Disney cruise their first family vacation. They have 3 kids, 12 yo, 9 yo, and 2yo. However, the 2yo is very clingy towards my sister and violent towards others. My niece has to be with/by my sister at all times. She throw tantrums and will bite, scratch, or kick anyone. So my sister was throwing around the idea of leaving the 2yo at home or just not going for fear that if she attempted to place the 2yo in one of the childrens clubs, she would be difficult for them to handle or that they wouldn't be able to sleep comfortably as my niece must sleep by my sister! Has anyone ever cruised with a difficult/clingy child? Should she go without the 2yo or put the entire trip off until she's older?

Its sad, because they really wanted to go to WDW but with my niece being so attached to my sister, theres no way she could ride any of the larger rides. So my sister didn't feel like it would be worth the money...

I have been a board of ed member for many years and at first blush sounds like the paperwork that has crossed before me umpteen times for students being tested for behavioral disorders. Sis might want to have her tested as there are in most states public preschool, head start type programs for children with behavioral learning issues. That might help with training both the parents and child how to deal with outbursts to make trips (and life) more enjoyable.

Me, I'd try leaving the kid with Dad, more and more often, then maybe with a sitter an hour at a time at first while the 4 others go out. Local Universities that have colleges for education is a good place to start looking for a special ed major who needs some summer work. A bit more mature sitter, with some background in special needs might be good for the family and the child. Trying to get the situation more manageable before Disney World or Cruise might be a good step in the right direction. If not, sadly I'd leave the child behind, sounds cold, but subjecting other young guests to kicking and biting not so good.

 

[PrincessNelly_NJ]

I have been a board of ed member for many years and at first blush sounds like the paperwork that has crossed before me umpteen times for students being tested for behavioral disorders. Sis might want to have her tested as there are in most states public preschool, head start type programs for children with behavioral learning issues. That might help with training both the parents and child how to deal with outbursts to make trips (and life) more enjoyable.

Me, I'd try leaving the kid with Dad, more and more often, then maybe with a sitter an hour at a time at first while the 4 others go out. Local Universities that have colleges for education is a good place to start looking for a special ed major who needs some summer work. A bit more mature sitter, with some background in special needs might be good for the family and the child. Trying to get the situation more manageable before Disney World or Cruise might be a good step in the right direction. If not, sadly I'd leave the child behind, sounds cold, but subjecting other young guests to kicking and biting not so good.

Her outburst really only happen when my sister leaves her. When she was only 6 months old, if she ever heard my sister say "ill be right back" she instantly cried. She very clingy. And she only attacks when she can't get to my sister. She doesn't like when people hug my sister, or sit near her. Then my niece will attack! It's so weird. Could that be a disorder? My sister is convinced she will grow out of it... My sister tried leaving her with dad, aunts, uncles, grand parents... my niece acts out everytime, she is okay with her grandma, she still throws tantrums for about 20 minutes then calms down, unlike with everyone else. I watched her stand by the door and cry and scream for 30 minutes then she started to run around and throw stuff until my sister returned, she was all smiles then.

 

[Master Yoda]

Her outburst really only happen when my sister leaves her. When she was only 6 months old, if she ever heard my sister say "ill be right back" she instantly cried. She very clingy. And she only attacks when she can't get to my sister. She doesn't like when people hug my sister, or sit near her. Then my niece will attack! It's so weird. Could that be a disorder? My sister is convinced she will grow out of it... My sister tried leaving her with dad, aunts, uncles, grand parents... my niece acts out everytime, she is okay with her grandma, she still throws tantrums for about 20 minutes then calms down, unlike with everyone else. I watched her stand by the door and cry and scream for 30 minutes then she started to run around and throw stuff until my sister returned, she was all smiles then.

I am going to go out on a limb and say yes. Using my psychology degree from Google, I am going to say that it sounds like a manifestation of separation anxiety. It is something that your sister needs to speak with a professional about sooner rather than later. Crying is one thing, but acting violently can and will have some serious repercussions when she reaches and age where she has to be away from her mother (eg school).

 

[PrincessNelly_NJ]

I am going to go out on a limb and say yes. Using my psychology degree from Google, I am going to say that it sounds like a manifestation of separation anxiety. It is something that your sister needs to speak with a professional about sooner rather than later. Crying is one thing, but acting violently can and will have some serious repercussions when she reaches and age where she has to be away from her mother (eg school).

Mmmm... Ill have to get me one of these Google degrees lol. Ill defintely mention all of this to my sister

 

[wdwstateofmind]

I'd be concerned the 2 yr. old would get physical with other kids at the clubs if they have gotten physical with kids they have seen a few times before and have an attachment to another. If it is separation anxiety you don't exactly want to leave him in a kids' club full of strangers, esp. with a past of aggressive activity towards others (they even know) in this situation.

Think about anxiety in general. We don't know what a 2 yr. old is thinking if it is anxiety, but we do know what adults think due to research (maybe not what triggers it). We'd have to believe adults do get it just as bad as 2 yr. olds and I'm not a doctor but the lady has had two anxiety "episodes". The first time we went to the hospital, she she was out of it she didn't really know what was going on. Leaving her there with anxiety and strangers was the worst thing I could have done and I think only made her anxiety worse for a short period of a few days. Remember, not all humans are lucky as most of us in controlling emotions other than general happiness, sadness, love, etc...The second time it was much more personal and lasted only a week

Granted I'm not saying the kid has nervous breakdowns, but seeing what an adult with severe anxiety goes through I can only imagine what the child must be feeling when he has his episodes. I'd just personally avoid it until the anxiety gets away from separation and aggression if they are indeed the cases.

 

[Gabe1]

Her outburst really only happen when my sister leaves her. When she was only 6 months old, if she ever heard my sister say "ill be right back" she instantly cried. She very clingy. And she only attacks when she can't get to my sister. She doesn't like when people hug my sister, or sit near her. Then my niece will attack! It's so weird. Could that be a disorder? My sister is convinced she will grow out of it... My sister tried leaving her with dad, aunts, uncles, grand parents... my niece acts out everytime, she is okay with her grandma, she still throws tantrums for about 20 minutes then calms down, unlike with everyone else. I watched her stand by the door and cry and scream for 30 minutes then she started to run around and throw stuff until my sister returned, she was all smiles then.

Me, <------ I'd have her evaluated to just to know what they are dealing with, especially since she causes harm to other people and is destructive to get what she wants at such a young age. Yeah, she could outgrow it or it can become worse, the bigger and stronger she becomes, objectively I'd take the odds of it becoming worse. If it is a disorder where she can only be calm in certain situations (some kids it is with a dog alongside always, their security) or a parenting issue where parents adapt their entire family life to give into the tantrums of the child and the child is in charge. I'd hope they would get some guidance from professionals on how to gain some control over their family life whether it is a disorder or a smart child dominating the adults. Either way, at first blush, doing nothing and saying she will out grow it is going put so much tension in that household for the other 4 people. I think I'd be taking the two older kids on vacation, give them a break along with the Mom and Dad.

 

[PrincessNelly_NJ]

I'd be concerned the 2 yr. old would get physical with other kids at the clubs if they have gotten physical with kids they have seen a few times before and have an attachment to another. If it is separation anxiety you don't exactly want to leave him in a kids' club full of strangers, esp. with a past of aggressive activity towards others (they even know) in this situation.

Think about anxiety in general. We don't know what a 2 yr. old is thinking if it is anxiety, but we do know what adults think due to research (maybe not what riggers it). We'd have to believe adults do get it just as bad as 2 yr. olds and I'm not a doctor but the lady has had two anxiety "episodes". The first time we went to the hospital, she she was out of it she didn't really know what was going on. Leaving her there with anxiety and strangers was the worst thing I could have done and I think only made her anxiety worse for a short period of a few days. Remember, not all humans are lucky as most of us in controlling emotions other than general happiness, sadness, love, etc...The second time it was much more personal and lasted only a week

Granted I'm not saying the kid has nervous breakdowns, but seeing what an adult with severe anxiety goes through I can only imagine what the child must be feeling when he has his episodes. I'd just personally avoid it until the anxiety gets away from separation and aggression if they are indeed the cases.

Thats exactly why the idea of leaving her behind came up. when my sister leaves her, she will get very violent with anyone. I think my sister just feels like it wont be a "family" vacation if one of the members of her family arent there thank you for your input

 

[Sumrdog]

Thats exactly why the idea of leaving her behind came up. when my sister leaves her, she will get very violent with anyone. I think my sister just feels like it wont be a "family" vacation if one of the members of her family arent there thank you for your input

This sounds terrible for your sister and her family! I can't imagine having to consider going on a family vacation without one of my children ...And who could she leave her with? It sounds like she might be quite a handful for whoever is left caring for her (you used the word violent). Of course It might be a nice needed break for your sister and her husband, her older children would no doubt really enjoy having their mother's undivided attention on the vacation, but I wonder if your sister could truly enjoy herself without the youngest one, I think if it were me, my inner mommy would feel guilty.

One of my favorite things about the cruise was doing the crafts, trivia or playing board games as a family. My children are 5 and 10. I think that a 2 or 3 year old is too young to enjoy those kinds of activities, and her behavior sounds like it may exclude her from being left at the children's clubs. So that leaves your sister stuck caring for her 24hrs a day and not really getting to enjoy a lot of the benefits of being on a cruise; like the freedom to go off and do adults only activities while the children are safely ensconced making flubber in the Oceaneer's Lab. If it were me, I would pick another vacation that's not quite so expensive and wait and do the cruise when the little one is older and hopefully her anxiety over being away from her mom improves.

It sounds like a tough situation without any easy answers. Good luck to you!

 

[Joshua&CalebDad]

Her outburst really only happen when my sister leaves her. When she was only 6 months old, if she ever heard my sister say "ill be right back" she instantly cried. She very clingy. And she only attacks when she can't get to my sister. She doesn't like when people hug my sister, or sit near her. Then my niece will attack! It's so weird. Could that be a disorder? My sister is convinced she will grow out of it... My sister tried leaving her with dad, aunts, uncles, grand parents... my niece acts out everytime, she is okay with her grandma, she still throws tantrums for about 20 minutes then calms down, unlike with everyone else. I watched her stand by the door and cry and scream for 30 minutes then she started to run around and throw stuff until my sister returned, she was all smiles then.

Wow, thats a tough situation to be in. You know there are two sides to this issue. On the one side your sister is starting to look at a family cruise with an unruly child, which either a. she will leave behind, or be. the child will be able to join the family and possibly cause issues on the cruise. However, on the other side, it sounds like your sister has some time to address the issue in time so that the child can go with them and everyone can have a good time.

I'm not tryin to be overly judgemental but it sounds like your sister is going to have to get into hard parenting mode to deal with this situation. Unfortunately your sister has let this issue with her daughters drag on for 2 years and the now the child has the upper hand. It is probably going to take some time and major commitment on the parents part but there is no reason that your sister can't address this situation so that everyone can enjoy a great family vacation.

I'm not saying that there are not some other underlying issues there but either way, your sister is going to have to make a major commitment to work on this. Good luck, Im rooting for her.