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Calling all "RYANS"
- Thread starter Maria
- Start date
- Status
FantasiaBish
Member
OMG I'm like ROFLMFAO at y'all, I'm glad I stopped at my sister's to check on things...or else I'd have twice as many posts to read when I get home 
There was waayyyyyyyyy to much to comment on but let's say I'm really sorry I misssed out on this conversation cuz I would've had wayy too much fun with it 
See y'all when I get back home......
There was waayyyyyyyyy to much to comment on but let's say I'm really sorry I misssed out on this conversation cuz I would've had wayy too much fun with it See y'all when I get back home......
DisneyWorldGuru
New Member
Ok, here are a few jokes for all the ex-techies (stage crew) and those who are still techies:
Stage Crew (noun) - Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic.
__________________________________________________
A stage Manager, a Sound Technician and a Lighting Designer find a bottle in a corner of the theatre. One of them rubs it and a genie pops out.
"Since you all found me," he says "you each get one wish." The Sound Technician steps up and says, "I'd like a million dollars and three beautiful women." POOF! - The Sound Tech is gone.
The Lighting Designer steps up and says, "Well, if he can have that, I'd like TEN million dollars, and my own personal island with fifteen beautiful women!" POOF! The Lighting Designer is gone.
The Stage Manager steps up and says, "I'd like them both back in ten minutes."
__________________________________________________
How many lighting techs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's not a lightbulb, its a LAMP!!
------------------
How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nine...one to do it, and eight to stand around and say "I could do better than that"
------------------
How many sound engineers does it take to change a lamp?
"Can't we just turn all the other ones up a bit?"
-------------------
How many stage managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
I DONT CARE- JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________
Panic Guarantee....!!!
1/3 of the way through the opening show, very softly, no emotion, no sarcasm, not sure which headset it came from....
This comment is sure to put the Stage Manager in panic.
"....................................uh-oh"
___________________________________________________
Signs You've Been in the Theatre Too Much:
1. Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.
2. "Q" is not just a letter.
3. National holidays that fall on Monday seem pointless to you.
4. You know more than one theory for the origin of the name "green room."
5. You can only read from a light that is blue.
6. You consider the red part of the stoplight the "standby."
7. You can't remember what daylight looks like.
8. You feel naked without your keys attached to your belt loop, or your belt without your Maglite, Leatherman, and Gerber.
9. You know tie-line has several uses---shoelaces, belts, ponytail holders...
10. 95% of your wardrobe is black.
11. You watch the Super Bowl, waiting for intermission, not half-time.
12. You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you've done than what went smoothly.
13. You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop.
14. You know anything can be fixed with gaff tape, Mortite, sculpt-er-coat, a sharpie, tie-line, and a safety pin.
15. Your diet consists of fast food or microwaved food.
16. Your Halloween costume in some way utilizes running blacks and gaff tape.
17. Varying your diet means ordering the #2 instead of the #3 or eating with your left hand instead of your right.
18. You understand the jokes in Forbidden Broadway.
19. You insist on spelling "theatre" with an "re" not an "er".
20. People recognize you by the sound of your keys jingling down the hallway.
21. Going to a restaurant means ordering and sitting down in McDonald's rather than the drive-thru.
22. You'd heard of Mandy Patinkin before he was on Chicago Hope.
23. "Practical" and "flat" are nouns.
24. Instead of saying that you're leaving, you say you're "exiting."
25. At home, you "strike" your dishes to the kitchen.
26. If someone asks you what time it is, you respond with something like, "Half hour 'til half hour."
Stage Crew (noun) - Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic.
__________________________________________________
A stage Manager, a Sound Technician and a Lighting Designer find a bottle in a corner of the theatre. One of them rubs it and a genie pops out.
"Since you all found me," he says "you each get one wish." The Sound Technician steps up and says, "I'd like a million dollars and three beautiful women." POOF! - The Sound Tech is gone.
The Lighting Designer steps up and says, "Well, if he can have that, I'd like TEN million dollars, and my own personal island with fifteen beautiful women!" POOF! The Lighting Designer is gone.
The Stage Manager steps up and says, "I'd like them both back in ten minutes."
__________________________________________________
How many lighting techs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's not a lightbulb, its a LAMP!!
------------------
How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nine...one to do it, and eight to stand around and say "I could do better than that"
------------------
How many sound engineers does it take to change a lamp?
"Can't we just turn all the other ones up a bit?"
-------------------
How many stage managers does it take to change a lightbulb?
I DONT CARE- JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________________
Panic Guarantee....!!!
1/3 of the way through the opening show, very softly, no emotion, no sarcasm, not sure which headset it came from....
This comment is sure to put the Stage Manager in panic.
"....................................uh-oh"
___________________________________________________
Signs You've Been in the Theatre Too Much:
1. Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.
2. "Q" is not just a letter.
3. National holidays that fall on Monday seem pointless to you.
4. You know more than one theory for the origin of the name "green room."
5. You can only read from a light that is blue.
6. You consider the red part of the stoplight the "standby."
7. You can't remember what daylight looks like.
8. You feel naked without your keys attached to your belt loop, or your belt without your Maglite, Leatherman, and Gerber.
9. You know tie-line has several uses---shoelaces, belts, ponytail holders...
10. 95% of your wardrobe is black.
11. You watch the Super Bowl, waiting for intermission, not half-time.
12. You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you've done than what went smoothly.
13. You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop.
14. You know anything can be fixed with gaff tape, Mortite, sculpt-er-coat, a sharpie, tie-line, and a safety pin.
15. Your diet consists of fast food or microwaved food.
16. Your Halloween costume in some way utilizes running blacks and gaff tape.
17. Varying your diet means ordering the #2 instead of the #3 or eating with your left hand instead of your right.
18. You understand the jokes in Forbidden Broadway.
19. You insist on spelling "theatre" with an "re" not an "er".
20. People recognize you by the sound of your keys jingling down the hallway.
21. Going to a restaurant means ordering and sitting down in McDonald's rather than the drive-thru.
22. You'd heard of Mandy Patinkin before he was on Chicago Hope.
23. "Practical" and "flat" are nouns.
24. Instead of saying that you're leaving, you say you're "exiting."
25. At home, you "strike" your dishes to the kitchen.
26. If someone asks you what time it is, you respond with something like, "Half hour 'til half hour."
WDWFREAK53
Well-Known Member
I drive perfect!
WDWFREAK53
Well-Known Member
Ali, I'll let you "shift"
WDWFREAK53
Well-Known Member
Well, when you left...THAT conversation stopped...(there was nobody left)
Lhriangel
New Member
I go away and look what I miss. Icks.. just to think what I'll miss all week *sniffles*.
Ali.. I wouldn't be so sure you could take me.. lets just say I have a 6 ft. 240 lb brother and I've had to learn how to keep him from hurting me!!!! (although at the moment he's koncked out cause he doesnt feel good).
*sniffles at Brian* I see how it is.. you just want Ali.. That's okay I"m a real Angel. *shows off her pretty halo*.
Also if you read back a few thousand posts you'd see I know how to keep a man happy hehe....
Ali.. I wouldn't be so sure you could take me.. lets just say I have a 6 ft. 240 lb brother and I've had to learn how to keep him from hurting me!!!! (although at the moment he's koncked out cause he doesnt feel good).
*sniffles at Brian* I see how it is.. you just want Ali.. That's okay I"m a real Angel. *shows off her pretty halo*
.Also if you read back a few thousand posts you'd see I know how to keep a man happy hehe...
.
darthdarrel
New Member
:dazzle:
FantasiaBish
Member
Wow y'all got quiet in here and for once I didn't kill Ryan :lol:
WDWFREAK53
Well-Known Member
(I was gonna not reply...so that you in fact WOULD have been the one to kill Ryan...but I couldn't resist)
FantasiaBish
Member
I know how to stop that!!!!! I just won't post anymore :drevil:
chit too late
chit too late
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