And I Think to Myself....What a Wonderful World with Magic Friends

[mpoppins76]

It's going well for the most part! I'm writing a kinda long post as we speak. I need some guidance...

Well, I'm here if you need to talk :kiss:

 

[cdunbar]

How are you doing Christa? How is your family?

I'm ok, the family well has been better. It seems that what happend to my niece isn't a crime because she's 17, and because of the fact that no charges will be filed DCF might find her mother fit enough to place her back in her care and on top of that my brother has been allowing the mother to have visits with my niece and it seems she's been promising her the world which she just can't fulfill so my niece is taking everything she says very seriously and it seems is possibly considering going back to her and if that happens my brother will be devistated on top of the fact that he's already spent $1K's of dollars he doesn't have to get custody of her for real. I know the money really doesn't matter and I don't want it to seem like that's the point because it isn't. She just doesn't seem to understand the whole situation and we try to explain it to her and she just seems annoyed by us talking to her. On top of that my brother is letting her drive to school and yesterday he told her he needed his truck back my 2:45 and she laid into him about how she's not a child and won't live by his time table and how he's so controlling which sound just like things her mother would say so that's what gave us the clue in that her mother is getting back into her head. And what I don't get is how she can be well, I hate this word but I'm gonna say it, stupid to place herself back in the situation. I just am sooooo furious that she is even considering hurting my brother like that, because the man has given up his life to raise her and I don't know how she could stand to do that to him. I'm not trying to sound mean but I just am the kind of person who puts everyone else before me, and I know that that's not always the best way to be but that's just who I am and all she cares about is what she'll get and obviously her mother is promising her something which more than likely won't work out.


Kat, I'm really sorry to spill all of this on you, I am just so frustrated.

 

[k.hunter30]

Okay guys... I need help. Or advice. Or just people to listen...

I'm beginning to be at my wits end. The stress of my job is beginning to be too much.

(blah blah blah)

So... I'm at a loss. I feel like I'm just rambling. I probably am.

(I'll most likely delete this in a bit... It's rather "raw" for a public forum)

 

[cdunbar]

Kat, have you thought about seeing if there are other opportunities out there, I mean it can't hurt to look. I am strong believer in the fact that one's enviroment has alot to do with well everything, and perhaps if you sought out a new work enviroment you might feel better...:shrug:

 

[mpoppins76]

I'm ok, the family well has been better. It seems that what happend to my niece isn't a crime because she's 17, and because of the fact that no charges will be filed DCF might find her mother fit enough to place her back in her care and on top of that my brother has been allowing the mother to have visits with my niece and it seems she's been promising her the world which she just can't fulfill so my niece is taking everything she says very seriously and it seems is possibly considering going back to her and if that happens my brother will be devistated on top of the fact that he's already spent $1K's of dollars he doesn't have to get custody of her for real. I know the money really doesn't matter and I don't want it to seem like that's the point because it isn't. She just doesn't seem to understand the whole situation and we try to explain it to her and she just seems annoyed by us talking to her. On top of that my brother is letting her drive to school and yesterday he told her he needed his truck back my 2:45 and she laid into him about how she's not a child and won't live by his time table and how he's so controlling which sound just like things her mother would say so that's what gave us the clue in that her mother is getting back into her head. And what I don't get is how she can be well, I hate this word but I'm gonna say it, stupid to place herself back in the situation. I just am sooooo furious that she is even considering hurting my brother like that, because the man has given up his life to raise her and I don't know how she could stand to do that to him. I'm not trying to sound mean but I just am the kind of person who puts everyone else before me, and I know that that's not always the best way to be but that's just who I am and all she cares about is what she'll get and obviously her mother is promising her something which more than likely won't work out.


Kat, I'm really sorry to spill all of this on you, I am just so frustrated.

Oh man, Christa. {{hugs}} Don't ever apologize for spilling here...we've all done it. It's one of the many great things about everyone here, we're always here to listen :kiss:

Okay guys... I need help. Or advice. Or just people to listen...


(I'll most likely delete this in a bit... It's rather "raw" for a public forum)

What would your other job options be, Kat? Have you thought of any possible alternative paths?

 

[k.hunter30]

I'm ok, the family well has been better. It seems that what happend to my niece isn't a crime because she's 17, and because of the fact that no charges will be filed DCF might find her mother fit enough to place her back in her care and on top of that my brother has been allowing the mother to have visits with my niece and it seems she's been promising her the world which she just can't fulfill so my niece is taking everything she says very seriously and it seems is possibly considering going back to her and if that happens my brother will be devistated on top of the fact that he's already spent $1K's of dollars he doesn't have to get custody of her for real. I know the money really doesn't matter and I don't want it to seem like that's the point because it isn't. She just doesn't seem to understand the whole situation and we try to explain it to her and she just seems annoyed by us talking to her. On top of that my brother is letting her drive to school and yesterday he told her he needed his truck back my 2:45 and she laid into him about how she's not a child and won't live by his time table and how he's so controlling which sound just like things her mother would say so that's what gave us the clue in that her mother is getting back into her head. And what I don't get is how she can be well, I hate this word but I'm gonna say it, stupid to place herself back in the situation. I just am sooooo furious that she is even considering hurting my brother like that, because the man has given up his life to raise her and I don't know how she could stand to do that to him. I'm not trying to sound mean but I just am the kind of person who puts everyone else before me, and I know that that's not always the best way to be but that's just who I am and all she cares about is what she'll get and obviously her mother is promising her something which more than likely won't work out. .

Goodness, Christa. I'm so sorry. Even without really knowing the situation behind it all, it definitely does seem like a very difficult situation. And I totally understand that you are looking out for your brother and you don't want to see him get hurt or be taken advantage of. But, I suppose, this is his child and he probably wants to do everything he can to make sure he continues to have a (positive) relationship with her. Not being a parent yet, I don't know, but maybe sometimes parenting does take putting up (for lack of a better phrase) with difficulties with your children. :shrug:
Does your brother have full custody? Can he limit any more how much time his daughter spends with her mother?

Kat, I'm really sorry to spill all of this on you, I am just so frustrated.

Ummm... just look at my post right below yours. :lookaroun We all get to "spill" amonst friends.

 

[mpoppins76]

OT: Glee Madonna songs are up on iTunes! :sohappy: They're "Like a Prayer"...amazing!!!!

 

[k.hunter30]

Kat, have you thought about seeing if there are other opportunities out there, I mean it can't hurt to look. I am strong believer in the fact that one's enviroment has alot to do with well everything, and perhaps if you sought out a new work enviroment you might feel better...:shrug:

That's just the thing. I talk myself out of it. I know it's stupid. But I just guess I tell myself I won't get another job.

What would your other job options be, Kat? Have you thought of any possible alternative paths?

Yeah... I have. I suppose I just need to stick it out for another year or so. After everything with children is finalized, I might be able to do something else. (I just don't see it happening before then. ) I thought about taking a teaching position. But that could be a long shot. I'd have to apply to this program that lets people with 5+ years experience and a college degree in the same field get kind of a teaching license. But they are looking for people who have more education and experience in math and science than my field. So... it's far from a guarantee. I thought about working from home--freelance writing or something--but that scares me. And I don't know how to really get into it so that it actually brings in a decent amount of money.

I can wake up every day and come into this job because I have a goal set. But once we have our children, I don't see myself putting up with the stress when all I'll want to do is raise my kiddos.

OT: Glee Madonna songs are up on iTunes! :sohappy: They're "Like a Prayer"...amazing!!!!

:sohappy::sohappy: So excited for it!

 

[cdunbar]

Goodness, Christa. I'm so sorry. Even without really knowing the situation behind it all, it definitely does seem like a very difficult situation. And I totally understand that you are looking out for your brother and you don't want to see him get hurt or be taken advantage of. But, I suppose, this is his child and he probably wants to do everything he can to make sure he continues to have a (positive) relationship with her. Not being a parent yet, I don't know, but maybe sometimes parenting does take putting up (for lack of a better phrase) with difficulties with your children. :shrug:
Does your brother have full custody? Can he limit any more how much time his daughter spends with her mother?


Ummm... just look at my post right below yours. :lookaroun We all get to "spill" amonst friends.

He is in the process of going for full custody, and he tries to limit their time together but my niece basically throws a fit if he says she can't see her mom, I mean on top of that she has no respect for him like she went out the other night and he said she had to home by 9, it was a school night, and come 10 she wasn't home yet so he called her and she was like yeah I'll be home when I get there. If I spoke to my father like that I would have been a-afraid that I would have gotten my butt beat, and b-well I just wouldn't have done it. And I saw your spilling, at least we're spilling together....:lol:

 

[mpoppins76]

That's just the thing. I talk myself out of it. I know it's stupid. But I just guess I tell myself I won't get another job.


Yeah... I have. I suppose I just need to stick it out for another year or so. After everything with children is finalized, I might be able to do something else. (I just don't see it happening before then. ) I thought about taking a teaching position. But that could be a long shot. I'd have to apply to this program that lets people with 5+ years experience and a college degree in the same field get kind of a teaching license. But they are looking for people who have more education and experience in math and science than my field. So... it's far from a guarantee. I thought about working from home--freelance writing or something--but that scares me. And I don't know how to really get into it so that it actually brings in a decent amount of money.

I can wake up every day and come into this job because I have a goal set. But once we have our children, I don't see myself putting up with the stress when all I'll want to do is raise my kiddos.


:sohappy::sohappy: So excited for it!

Unfortunately I kind of agree w/ waiting it out until the adoptions stuff is finalized. I'm assuming having a steady job that you've had for awhile will help you in the screening process? Then once the kiddo/s are here, go from there.
{{hugs}}

 

[cdunbar]

Oh man, Christa. {{hugs}} Don't ever apologize for spilling here...we've all done it. It's one of the many great things about everyone here, we're always here to listen :kiss:

Thanks Stephie....

That's just the thing. I talk myself out of it. I know it's stupid. But I just guess I tell myself I won't get another job.


Yeah... I have. I suppose I just need to stick it out for another year or so. After everything with children is finalized, I might be able to do something else. (I just don't see it happening before then. ) I thought about taking a teaching position. But that could be a long shot. I'd have to apply to this program that lets people with 5+ years experience and a college degree in the same field get kind of a teaching license. But they are looking for people who have more education and experience in math and science than my field. So... it's far from a guarantee. I thought about working from home--freelance writing or something--but that scares me. And I don't know how to really get into it so that it actually brings in a decent amount of money.

I can wake up every day and come into this job because I have a goal set. But once we have our children, I don't see myself putting up with the stress when all I'll want to do is raise my kiddos.

It's hard to deny a steady income stream especially right now with the whole adoption thing and the fact that it's sooo expensive I do understand that Kat, I just hate that you have to put yourself through that everyday.

 

[k.hunter30]

He is in the process of going for full custody, and he tries to limit their time together but my niece basically throws a fit if he says she can't see her mom, I mean on top of that she has no respect for him like she went out the other night and he said she had to home by 9, it was a school night, and come 10 she wasn't home yet so he called her and she was like yeah I'll be home when I get there. If I spoke to my father like that I would have been a-afraid that I would have gotten my butt beat, and b-well I just wouldn't have done it. And I saw your spilling, at least we're spilling together....:lol:

True! :animwink:
I wish I had a good answer for you guys...:kiss:
Maybe one of our amazing moms on here will have some insight.

 

[cdunbar]

True! :animwink:
I wish I had a good answer for you guys...:kiss:
Maybe one of our amazing moms on here will have some insight.

Yeah thanks Kat! :kiss:

 

[k.hunter30]

Unfortunately I kind of agree w/ waiting it out until the adoptions stuff is finalized. I'm assuming having a steady job that you've had for awhile will help you in the screening process? Then once the kiddo/s are here, go from there.
{{hugs}}

Exactly. It's important not just for the income, but the "screening process" and court, as you said. So, yeah. I just need to stick it out and have faith that an answer will come when we get to that point. In the meantime... I don't know. I guess I just need an attitude adjustment. :lol:

We're hoping DH gets a promotion. (He sure deserves one!) That could help some too.

Thanks Stephie....


It's hard to deny a steady income stream especially right now with the whole adoption thing and the fact that it's sooo expensive I do understand that Kat, I just hate that you have to put yourself through that everyday.

Thanks. Me too.

 

[cdunbar]

Exactly. It's important not just for the income, but the "screening process" and court, as you said. So, yeah. I just need to stick it out and have faith that an answer will come when we get to that point. In the meantime... I don't know. I guess I just need an attitude adjustment. :lol:

We're hoping DH gets a promotion. (He sure deserves one!) That could help some too.


Thanks. Me too.

Ehh no attitude adjustment is needed you're just an individual who is not 100% happy with their job, unfortunately it's rather common, trust me I would know!:animwink::lol:

 

[nibblesandbits]

((Hugs)) to those who need them.

 

[cdunbar]

((Hugs)) to those who need them.

Thank you Nibbs, I appreciate it.

 

[nibblesandbits]

Thank you Nibbs, I appreciate it.

To me, it sounds like she's being a teenager...pushing the boundaries of stuff. While what she's doing isn't smart...she's pushing the boundraries because she knows she can. My brother did similar stuff, as is my co-worker's son right now. Oh and my best friend was like this for a while too.

It sucks because this isn't what your family needs right now...but if she's anything like my brother, unless she gets a swift kick in the rear or wakes up a bit on her own with it, she'll continue this path for a while.

 

[cdunbar]

To me, it sounds like she's being a teenager...pushing the boundaries of stuff. While what she's doing isn't smart...she's pushing the boundraries because she knows she can. My brother did similar stuff, as is my co-worker's son right now. Oh and my best friend was like this for a while too.

It sucks because this isn't what your family needs right now...but if she's anything like my brother, unless she gets a swift kick in the rear or wakes up a bit on her own with it, she'll continue this path for a while.

Well my brother thought that I should talk to her because I'm only 5 yrs older than her, but she thinks that I know nothing, and I know that you're right that she is trying to push her boundries but like you said right now is not the chocie time to be doing so...

 

[nibblesandbits]

Well my brother thought that I should talk to her because I'm only 5 yrs older than her, but she thinks that I know nothing, and I know that you're right that she is trying to push her boundries but like you said right now is not the chocie time to be doing so...

That is the case, yes. My best friend, who is now out of whatever odd stage it is...tried to talk to my brother. They are good friends and she had hoped he would listen since she made some of the same mistakes...but alas, he wouldn't. He is just now coming out of this stage...So I understand why she wouldn't listen to you. You're almost too old to understand. She wants to do it all on her own.

If she's like my friend and my brother, expect this to last a while....both of them where in their low 20s before they woke up. Around 22 actually. It's gonna be a bumpy ride for you all for sure.