Tinkershelly said:
Learn to use Extra Magic Hours. Some people say to avoid that park, but I say that first thing in the morning and last thing at night are great times to ride the most popular attractions and see the characters. Do avoid that park if you can't be very early for early opening or stay very late for late closing.
I agree. The best thing to do might be to go to a different park that might be less crowded during the day, and then go to the park offering the extra magic hour after it has already closed.
Someone kind of mentioned this, but if your there for the fireworks, I found the best thing to do is just to relax and let most of the crowds leave the park, and then leave. I know in the MK MainStreet is open 40 minutes after the park closes, so you can stop at Casey's or the baker/ice cream, sit down and eat a snack, while the huge mob of people are fighting their way through crowds. Then once it dies down a little, go for the exit. So as long as your not in a hurry, that works out fine, because it's not like they push people out.
Use Fastpass. But you don't have to use it for every ride that offers it just because they have it. For example, get a fast pass for tower of terror, then get in line for Rock 'n' roller coaster, by the time you out it should be about time for tower of terror (depending on how busy it is).
And I agree, it is important to plan some time to relax. Spend some time down by the pool, relaxing in your room, or even just taking it slow eating dinner or something. Especially, since your wife has never been there, if everything is too stressful she probably won't leave with a great impression.
Well I hope my little comments helped a little. Have fun to your trip!