Sir_Cliff
Well-Known Member
I do get your point here, but I do wonder how much these purity tests are really an issue. Social media and the mainstream media seem to be on a feedback loop elevating people on the extremes of all debates and, in the former case, gathering them together to make them seem a larger group than they really are. So, I guess my question is whether many people out there on the ground are really getting angry at people who make a sincere effort to remember their pronouns but sometimes slip up?Oh, boy. Let's talk about pronouns.
Per usual, it's not simple.
Nobody in 1969 "had pronouns" in the context currently being used. Nobody in 2005 "had pronouns" like that. If someone had surgery in the last 20 years and became a she, then it's almost certain they used the pronoun "she." They didn't just pick one. It matched their gender.
Gay men (at least of a certain age) very, very often casually refer to each other as "she." That's not a chosen pronoun. It's familial. One guy talking to another guy about their mutual friend: "Oh, girl...you know she did the walk of shame dis mornin'!" Very common. Doesn't mean anything. They also often referred to their boyfriends (long-term or one-night) as "husbands." Underground cultures make up their own norms.
Today, as of *very* recently, people are picking pronouns. Fine. Don't expect me to remember your pronoun if I don't know you very well. (I probably won't remember your name until we've met several times LOL.) Don't get mad at me for accidentally calling you he when you want to be they. That's not fair to the vast majority of the population who are unaware unless you are wearing a pronoun name tag. I can barely remember Sam Smith and one of the former Disney actresses are now "they." Good for them. Seriously, whatever makes you happy. But I'll probably refer to Sam as "he" when talking with friends and probably "they" if I ever met them in person. That's just being realistic.
It's like getting mad at someone who says Merry Christmas and you used to celebrate Christmas but you don't anymore. Understanding goes both ways.
There is a difference between someone who says, "I will not respect your pronouns" vs. someone who makes a mistake, and no 80 year old woman should be held to the standard of Gen Z if she is making an honest mistake or forgot or whatever.
Get angry when people are trying to hurt you, not when they accidentally hurt you.
And don't Z-splain to me things you have only read about that I lived through.
I often encourage young people to watch TV shows from the 70's and 80's to get an idea and some perspective on what was "acceptable" back then. These things didn't age well, but they were definitely "norms." Watch Bo Duke talk about women. Watch the n-word being used by a white woman in the "North And South" miniseries (and many other shows - the point being it was not 100% forbidden yet.) Watch Judy Garland as a young teenager in blackface in a film where she was just doing what she was told and nobody objected. It was wrong, but it was also socially acceptable at the time. And we cannot go back and convict people of things they did wrong based on today's standards.
What I don't understand is we were taught that kind of empathy for racist grandparents who were "from a different time," but younger people today seem to prefer purity tests - which are tests they *will* eventually fail themselves, by the standards of future generations.
Where is the wisdom in that?
Again, I get your point as even if it is a small minority there can be real world consequences in terms of people being singled out for denunciation or harassment if they have made mistakes or hold certain views. Still, I just think Twitter in particular is really distorting our picture of the world in part because it provides the struggling traditional media easy access to stories about debates and controversies without actually having to go out and do reporting.
The angst around college-age people being political purists seems particularly like something that's not worth worrying about as that's what that period of your life is for! Overall, I think it's a positive that people stake out positions often from extreme ends of the spectrum as that introduces new ideas into the public discussion that ultimately push things forward.