The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
DD had a few groaners to add here:

A termite walks into the bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii.
What do you call a camel with no humps?
Humpfree.

What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner's on me.

What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dinosnore

Playing Ketchup. Yesterday was a big huge craft fair and I took DD to it. We had a great time and I needed it. Friday was a sucky day. I pulled a stupid...DS's new school is awesome, but they have a different schedule that I'm not used to yet. Wednesdays and Fridays are half days, and for some reason I had 12 in my head instead of 12:30. So I left my house at 11:20 so I would get there about 10 minutes to 12. I get halfway there and I realize my mistake and normally I bring a book with me so I have something to do while I wait, but since I thought I was only going to be there 10 minutes early, I didn't bother. So I'm right by the city center, berating myself for the mistake and thinking where I should go for that half hour, and a woman on a bike turned right in front of a car...I didn't see her at all until she flew over the hood of the car. I actually thought it was a kid because I thought what I saw flying over the car was a backpack...but it was the woman. I called an ambulance and I wasn't the only one, or even the first, but someone was doing CPR and someone else jumped into the street to direct traffic...there must have been about 20 other people who saw it. And then the ambulance came...well, actually 3 or 4 showed up, and they called for an airlift. They ended up canceling the airlift...it was too late. My husband had to come home from work to pick DS up from school. I was SOOOOO glad it wasn't on the way BACK, that HE didn't witness that. When I got home, I was still so shaky I ended up pouring myself a large shot. I hardly ever drink, but that called for some booze. The policeman I gave my statement to was really nice, though. He asked me how I was handling it and told me to ask my doctor for help if I needed someone to talk to. Really nice guy. So that was my Friday. Well, and I worked, but at least that was a good distraction.
 
MySmallWorldof4

MySmallWorldof4

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
DD had a few groaners to add here:

A termite walks into the bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii.
What do you call a camel with no humps?
Humpfree.

What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner's on me.

What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships

What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dinosnore

Playing Ketchup. Yesterday was a big huge craft fair and I took DD to it. We had a great time and I needed it. Friday was a sucky day. I pulled a stupid...DS's new school is awesome, but they have a different schedule that I'm not used to yet. Wednesdays and Fridays are half days, and for some reason I had 12 in my head instead of 12:30. So I left my house at 11:20 so I would get there about 10 minutes to 12. I get halfway there and I realize my mistake and normally I bring a book with me so I have something to do while I wait, but since I thought I was only going to be there 10 minutes early, I didn't bother. So I'm right by the city center, berating myself for the mistake and thinking where I should go for that half hour, and a woman on a bike turned right in front of a car...I didn't see her at all until she flew over the hood of the car. I actually thought it was a kid because I thought what I saw flying over the car was a backpack...but it was the woman. I called an ambulance and I wasn't the only one, or even the first, but someone was doing CPR and someone else jumped into the street to direct traffic...there must have been about 20 other people who saw it. And then the ambulance came...well, actually 3 or 4 showed up, and they called for an airlift. They ended up canceling the airlift...it was too late. My husband had to come home from work to pick DS up from school. I was SOOOOO glad it wasn't on the way BACK, that HE didn't witness that. When I got home, I was still so shaky I ended up pouring myself a large shot. I hardly ever drink, but that called for some booze. The policeman I gave my statement to was really nice, though. He asked me how I was handling it and told me to ask my doctor for help if I needed someone to talk to. Really nice guy. So that was my Friday. Well, and I worked, but at least that was a good distraction.[/QUOTE
I loved dd’s joke!
I cannot believe the other story. How absolutely dreadful. Thank goodness ds did not see that.
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Gabe1

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
CIA fires Officer LuLu the bomb sniffing dog in training 'cause she just wants to play. She now lives with her handler and his previously retired dog.

lulu-cia-dog-750x500.jpg

photo: cia

Now Lulu enjoys her days playing w his kids & a new friend, & sniffing out rabbits & squirrels in the backyard.
DMczjfEXUAQ97aV.jpg:large

photo: cia
 
Gabe1

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
FutureCEO said:
Remember when Disney wasn't obsessed with big names and the Christmas parade was actually good, I can't stand the current main street Christmas decorations.


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I don't mind the decorations however since there is no longer filming for the parade segment at WDW for Christmas Day I'm kinda over it. A lost era.

When CBS aired the parade until around the mid 90's it was a live Christmas Parade! Both of my kids were able to see that parade on Christmas morning.

Then Disney bought ABC and the parade was filmed over several days and then became a hard ticket event with the commitment to be there for 2 days and wear the same outfit. Think filmed in November right after the decorations went up.
Since ABC took over it is just one very long infomercial for Disney Parks around the world and their timeshares.

I get a $40 gift card if I listen to a 20 minute spiel about DVC. Not overly interested in listening to one on Christmas morning.
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
MinnieM123 said:
Going to a huge Christmas craft fair (it's once a year at the MA World Trade Center). I usually don't buy much of anything, but I just like to putter around and gawk at stuff. (I probably spend more at the food concession for lunch, than buy from vendors. ;) ) Pain in the butt to get there, with connections via 2 buses and 2 trains though. But, I felt like doing something different this morning.
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Is there an admission fee? I don't usually go to the Christmas markets because you have to pay to get in and then pay for whatever you buy. The thing I went to yesterday cost something like 12 Euros to get in, but DD is free because she's under 13, and it's not just Christmas stuff. They also have workshops and such. We only did one workshop yesterday, which was odd...usually we do a few. It ends up being really expensive with Train tickets, admission, food, workshops, craft supplies...but it's a lot of fun!!
 
Songbird76

Songbird76

Well-Known Member
donaldtoo said:
Yes, I'm quoting myself... :oops:
I forgot to add, way back when in the mid-80's, because of that economic downturn, I worked at a quick oil change place for about 3.5-ish mos.
It was when, I believe Nissan, had the talking cars. Whenever I was doing "car care" and had a door open, the voice would keep repeating to me "A door is ajar." "A door is ajar."
I always used to think to myself... "No, a door is a door and a jar is a jar...they're not the same thing!" Darn, missed the opportunity to invent that joke..!!!!! :hilarious:
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I didn't just think it, I said it out loud. Guess I missed an opportunity too!
 
Pixieish

Pixieish

Well-Known Member
donaldtoo said:
Yes, I'm quoting myself... :oops:
I forgot to add, way back when in the mid-80's, because of that economic downturn, I worked at a quick oil change place for about 3.5-ish mos.
It was when, I believe Nissan, had the talking cars. Whenever I was doing "car care" and had a door open, the voice would keep repeating to me "A door is ajar." "A door is ajar."
I always used to think to myself... "No, a door is a door and a jar is a jar...they're not the same thing!" Darn, missed the opportunity to invent that joke..!!!!! :hilarious:
Click to expand...

I had a 1985 300zx that did that!!!

EDIT: Favorite car EVER. I miss that thing.
 
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Figgy1

Figgy1

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
I went and got some of my Christmas shopping done today, but they didn't have the Hogwarts robe in DD's size. They had like 15 of them, but all of them were a size small. Every. Single. One.
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I'm a mean mommy!!! If my guys want robes they have to order the emblem and pick up the fabric. No way I'm spending money on one:oops: BUT!!! You my friend get a sympathy like you already have too much on your plate to make them.
 

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