The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

[Gabe1]

At least I take responsibility for my lame actions!

Oh, you would have gotten a kick out of him tonight. I had one of those nuked Rice-a-Roni cups of rice and cheese. I ate the entire thing, with the exception of maybe 1 grain of rice. which was stuck in the corner.

By accident, once I finished the cup, I dropped it on the floor for a second--and Jack came galloping in here and grabbed it. He fought with the cup for about 5 minutes, to get that ONE freaking little grain of rice down in the corner!

He succeeded. (There's now cup carnage all over the floor. Guess who gets to clean that up? )

Jack just rinsed the recyclable cup for you. He is a giver.

 

[Gabe1]

Lunch for two $12.29

 

[donaldtoo]

When I win the lottery, could you please design my house? I'll make you breakfast!

Sure!
We'll negotiate the size of the breakfast based on the square footage (or trapezoidal footage, whichever is greater - inside joke ) of the house...!!!

 

[donaldtoo]

View attachment 220838

Definitely one of my favorite Disney*Pixar movies...!!!

 

[Gabe1]

That is good about the Netherlands.
Speaking for myself (and those who have been here long enough have seen my posts about this before), and without going back into details, I was a VERY involved father. With the exception of giving birth and b r e a s tfeeding it was pretty much always 50/50. We agreed on that long before we ever had a family. We both worked full time, and I don't see how it could have been any other way. The parent doing all the care taking would be worn out, there would be animosity, etc. Especially, with 3 kiddos all so close in age, including one with special needs, it was like trying to herd cats so much of the time...!!! But, even with just one kiddo I would have been that way. I have always loved being a father...!
Funny thing is, I remember most other families dads my age that we interacted with being mostly the same way.
Although, I admit I probably don't pay much attention to how it is these days, as we're so far beyond those years.

This Mom had more than 50% of raising kids not to say Dad didn't help a lot. But he started work earlier than I did and worked later than I did which meant I got them up, dressed, fed, packed food an either to daycare, walked to school or bus stop. And when I got home I made dinner while trying to interact with the kiddos until Dad came home for our family dinner. None of that changed throughout their childhood. If a kid got sick at school, I got the call. I think he took one kid to a Doc on a Saturday once. Doubt he could even know the name of the Doc or phone number. It was just how it was. His boss was not tolerant of leaving work or the thought of staying home cause your kid was sick. He would have been fired. I took them to their sports games and of course Dad would meet up with us after he left work. Just how it all played out.

 

[Gabe1]

I know some people like it, but I personally thought pregnancy was the WORST. I hated being pregnant. People ask you personal questions about your private body parts, constantly tell you birth horror stories, make comments about your hips getting wider or other embarrassing things, you can't move fast or walk up stairs without completely losing your breath, I hated it. And when crazy things happen like your leg spasms uncontrollably or you feel like the baby is stabbing you with knives, or your hair starts falling out in clumps, all your mom friends look at you with a knowing smile and say "oh yeah, that's normal!!". But they never warn you ahead of time to get you mentally prepared. I mean..... I love my daughter more than life itself, but I have no desire to ever get pregnant again.

I hated being pregnant.

My thought initially was why would anyone do this twice to their body? We agreed before marriage to have 3 kids. I had one and I loved him dearly but it took me 5 years to have another child. As I was giving birth I wondered what the h*ll I was thinking doing this a 2nd time...and off to ICU she went....she was ultimately fine a few days later but a year later I looked at him and said I'm so done with that PREGO thing, not happening again. He smiled and ran off to make an appointment to have himself taken care of so it didn't happen again.

I still have zero happy memories about being pregnant or giving birth. I like how birds sit on their eggs as they develop. But Mommy Sea Horses got it right.

 

[donaldtoo]

This Mom had more than 50% of raising kids not to say Dad didn't help a lot. But he started work earlier than I did and worked later than I did which meant I got them up, dressed, fed, packed food an either to daycare, walked to school or bus stop. And when I got home I made dinner while trying to interact with the kiddos until Dad came home for our family dinner. None of that changed throughout their childhood. If a kid got sick at school, I got the call. I think he took one kid to a Doc on a Saturday once. Doubt he could even know the name of the Doc or phone number. It was just how it was. His boss was not tolerant of leaving work or the thought of staying home cause your kid was sick. He would have been fired. I took them to their sports games and of course Dad would meet up with us after he left work. Just how it all played out.

Yep, all family dynamics are different.
Believe it or not, my hours at the firm were a bit more flexible than DWifey's at the insurance company, and then, of course, the day care. The partners were all starting families at the time. Hours could be made up during lunch or by working a little late. Maybe doing a coupla' hours on the weekend.
I got all 3 kiddos ready (no matter how well
we planned the night before, there always seemed to be at least one shoe missing the next morning...!!! ) in the morning and took them to school for seven straight years into middle school, and spent my Half-day Fridays at their schools helping out.
I definitely remember the name of all 3 kiddos Pediatrician (same for all 3), our 3 favorite NICU docs and nurses, the doc that saved DSs eyesite. DSs local eye docs name after he got out of the hospital, his pediatric neurologists name, taking his heart/apnea monitor to be downloaded and recalibrated every month for the first year of his life, etc., etc., etc.
I, easily, took DS to more eye doc and neurologist appointments than DWifey did.
Yep, you work it all the best ya' can, but, there has to be some serious teamwork involved, especially if you're both working full time.
We got it done!
And, of course, as I've posted many times, there were sooo many fun family things we did all through the years (and continue to do) besides all the day to day necessities...!!!

 

[donaldtoo]

OK gang, I'm a goner...!
Y'all be cool...!!!
Laterrrrrrrrrrr...!!!!!

 

[StarWarsGirl]

Just remember to stay awake! Our theater doesn't have recliners but if they did I'd probably fall asleep.

We were in the front leaned all the way back. If it hadn't been an exciting movie, I probably would have been asleep.

 

[Gabe1]

I can't quote everyone in the conversation, but this is an interesting concept:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/m-blazoned/the-default-parent_b_6031128.html

My husband takes care of our daughter and puts in a lot of effort, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't consistently feel like the default parent 75% of the time.

My kids are 20 somethings but I remained the default parent even through their college years and when they searched for careers. And as a result I was their go to parent, they were not told to do that, they just knew I was the one that handled things. Instinctive.

I was the one that met with the college adviser (mandatory there) when DS decided he wanted to try the Disney College Program. At the time he had to remain a full time student to remain on our Health Insurance (before National Healthcare your kid missed a semester the company could drop them from healthcare coverage forever, no going back even if they went to college a semester later) I was the one that knew what to purchase for college dorms, the misc sundries they would need. I filled out all the parent stuff, let me tell ya Fafsa isn't a fun way to spend New Years Day for 9 years. It was just how it was. I admire the men that genuinely did do the day care pick up and drop off, fixed dinner, fed the kids breakfast etc. In my little Hamlet it was rare to see a Dad unloading a Market Day truck at 2pm in the middle of a work day, picking a kid up from half day kindergarden or staying home with a kid on a teacher institute day. Demographically that might be different in other areas but not where I hail from.

And I have to say growing up the kids had a great Dad, he helped with Math homework, coached baseball, timed at swim meets. Anything that did not interfere with his work day he was all in.

 

[Figgy1]

At least I take responsibility for my lame actions!

Oh, you would have gotten a kick out of him tonight. I had one of those nuked Rice-a-Roni cups of rice and cheese. I ate the entire thing, with the exception of maybe 1 grain of rice. which was stuck in the corner.

By accident, once I finished the cup, I dropped it on the floor for a second--and Jack came galloping in here and grabbed it. He fought with the cup for about 5 minutes, to get that ONE freaking little grain of rice down in the corner!

He succeeded. (There's now cup carnage all over the floor. Guess who gets to clean that up? )

Poor starving Jack, somebody should report you to the ASPCA. Please feed him properly

 

[Figgy1]

My sister's dogs are gone!!!

We have been taking care of them for 18 days and they were really naughty this time. I couldn't wait for them to be gone. Thursday is going to be upholstery and rug cleaning day. It would be tomorrow but I have a day planned with a friend I haven't seen in awhile. Even Kapono is sighing with relief that they are gone!!!!

Wish I could like this more than once. How many more days of freedom do you have?

 

[Figgy1]

Definitely one of my favorite Disney*Pixar movies...!!!

Much loved here also. Thank Remy for James being able to make ratatouille, which he plans on making this weekend

 

[MinnieM123]

Sure!
We'll negotiate the size of the breakfast based on the square footage (or trapezoidal footage, whichever is greater - inside joke ) of the house...!!!

I saw this and thought about your offer to work for breakfast --

 

[MinnieM123]

Poor starving Jack, somebody should report you to the ASPCA. Please feed him properly

"Starving" Jack just had his dinner about 5 minutes prior to that. It had nothing to do with him being hungry; Jack has always leapt on any crime of opportunity. It's what makes him roll . . .

 

[Figgy1]

Poor Jack needed some steak to go with his dinner roll

 

[MinnieM123]

Poor Jack needed some steak to go with his dinner roll

If there was steak, I wasn't sharing!

 

[Figgy1]

If there was steak, I wasn't sharing!

When i had a dog he got my steak, just part of being a mommy

 

[DryerLintFan]

I was gonna say, get a dog--that would round out the family nicely. (But I think you already have a dog--you beat me to it! )

We have two!!

I get that advice all the time. I have nothing against animals, in fact, they all seem to take to me immediately, however, I have gotten very selfish in my old age. I have spent my life taking care of people and things, I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to have to go out and "walk the dog" or "find a place for a litter box" or "take them to the vet to have them put down" or "spend a fortune to keep them alive". I think twice about spending money to keep myself alive, I don't trust me with that responsibility again. I've been there and done that way to many times and I just don't want to do it again.

I soooo understand this. We're going camping this weekend and we aren't bringing the dogs with us. We used to take them backpacking all the time, but in backpacking you're walking most of the time and they love that. They're SUCH a pain in the camp ground though, always tangling their leashes with the tent strings, or barking at the kids going past on bikes. I love my dogs so much, but they are so much work.

 

[DryerLintFan]

This Mom had more than 50% of raising kids not to say Dad didn't help a lot. But he started work earlier than I did and worked later than I did which meant I got them up, dressed, fed, packed food an either to daycare, walked to school or bus stop. And when I got home I made dinner while trying to interact with the kiddos until Dad came home for our family dinner. None of that changed throughout their childhood. If a kid got sick at school, I got the call. I think he took one kid to a Doc on a Saturday once. Doubt he could even know the name of the Doc or phone number. It was just how it was. His boss was not tolerant of leaving work or the thought of staying home cause your kid was sick. He would have been fired. I took them to their sports games and of course Dad would meet up with us after he left work. Just how it all played out.

My kids are 20 somethings but I remained the default parent even through their college years and when they searched for careers. And as a result I was their go to parent, they were not told to do that, they just knew I was the one that handled things. Instinctive.

I was the one that met with the college adviser (mandatory there) when DS decided he wanted to try the Disney College Program. At the time he had to remain a full time student to remain on our Health Insurance (before National Healthcare your kid missed a semester the company could drop them from healthcare coverage forever, no going back even if they went to college a semester later) I was the one that knew what to purchase for college dorms, the misc sundries they would need. I filled out all the parent stuff, let me tell ya Fafsa isn't a fun way to spend New Years Day for 9 years. It was just how it was. I admire the men that genuinely did do the day care pick up and drop off, fixed dinner, fed the kids breakfast etc. In my little Hamlet it was rare to see a Dad unloading a Market Day truck at 2pm in the middle of a work day, picking a kid up from half day kindergarden or staying home with a kid on a teacher institute day. Demographically that might be different in other areas but not where I hail from.

And I have to say growing up the kids had a great Dad, he helped with Math homework, coached baseball, timed at swim meets. Anything that did not interfere with his work day he was all in.

My husband cooks all our meals, does housework, the dishes, laundry, etc. He does the nighttime routine and bath times for our daughter, and takes her on adventures for a few hours on the weekends so I can have some "me-time". Even with all that, I still feel like the default parent a lot. I'm the one expected to take time off work when she's sick, and go to her parent teacher conferences, and get her ready for school in the morning, and I'm the one who takes her to gymnastics and swimming and the zoo, etc. We seem to have a 50/50 balance in our house of the effort and work we put into it, but his is more geared towards running the house, and mine is more geared towards keeping the kid happy and healthy, if that makes any sense. It just shook out that way.

That said, he carried the diaper bag and still changes most of her diapers. I'm really grateful to have him in my life, and so grateful he's such a good dad. Even if I am the default parent. Every household finds the balance that works for them