I would definitely not have described my mother as joyous, no. When she passed, the funeral home offered a service where you gave them pictures and chose some music and they made a video montage. My brother had some friends come over to help us go through all the photo albums and it was hard finding pictures of her. The one friend commented "Your mom was not a happy child, was she?"
And I just found a notebook in some documents a couple of months ago, and it was memories she wrote down and she even said that her childhood wasn't a very happy one and she had no amusing stories from it. She just wasn't a very happy person.
My brother-in-law grew up Wisconsin Synod Lutheran. He wasn't allowed to be in organizations outside the church, so no Boy Scouts, 4-H or anything. School sanctioned or community sponsored sports were okay. When he and my sister got engaged his one set of grandparents were very angry at the thought of him not being Wisconsin synod anymore and said a lot of nasty things to him about changing to ELCA. They almost didn't come to the wedding, eventually they relaxed a bit. But to me that wouldn't be the type of church I would want to be involved in. I'm not trying to do any preaching of religion, but I think any religion that has such strict rules doesn't really focus on love and acceptance which I what I look for in faith and in just a general life philosophy.
I had never heard of Wisconsin Synod until I was in high school and met a girl through a summer program. But she didn't seem any more restricted than I was at home. Though I only knew her for a few weeks, so it's not like I knew a lot about her homelife.
When my mom told me church wasn't to be comfortable in I asked her what else it was supposed to be. Isn't the whole point of church about God loving us so much that he sent his son to save us? What's more comforting than that?? She really didn't like me having logical arguments that she felt made her look wrong/bad. She told me that she had already chosen for me and me choosing something different was a rejection of her. If I did something differently than she would, or didn't like the same things she did, it was saying her choice wasn't good enough for me, and therefore that SHE wasn't good enough for me.
So the fact that she told me I couldn't date until I was thirty, and I refused to obey her at 19 meant that I was rejecting her and her beliefs. If she went to visit someone in their home and they wouldn't let her smoke in their home, they were rejecting her. When you love someone, you accept everything about them, even their bad habits. Otherwise you are saying they aren't good enough for you. But the same didn't apply the other way around. You had to respect and follow her rules when you came to her house, because otherwise you were rejecting her. It was very hard to deal with her sometimes.
Just a quick note concerning my Daughters request for my wedding band (I gifted it to her already). I'm afraid to say that I was unaware that it was a thing. I knew that daughters usually wanted just the rings from their Mothers, that I understood, but that one surprised me. I'm glad to hear that it is kinda normal.
I have another "ring" problem though. I have made it a point of always trying my best to make sure that what I did for one of my girls, I did for both of them. Quick history that I think I already posted at some point. When I was around 12 (1960) or so, I bought a ring for myself. It was a large ruby birthstone ring in a gold setting. Not gaudy, just a large stone. I have worn that almost every day for the past 65 years. I had it reset a couple of times, that last time about 10 years ago. There is only one natural stone that is stronger than that and it is a diamond. There is a microscopic scratch that I possibly got when I brushed against my wife diamond. It isn't noticeable unless you look at it in a certain light and have really good vision. Enough background!
Anyway, as you might have guessed, both (at different times) have asked for the ring be left to them. One ring, two people I love wanting it. I had many thoughts about it since then. I thought about the possibility of having the stone cut in half and creating some type of jewelry that both could have. Sounded good on paper, but modifying the stone would lesson its value beyond what it would cost to have it done, and who would be able to take a rectangular, faceted, stone and make it not be weird looking? I have one grandson (24 years old now) that situations have made me closer too and if I thought for a minute that he might welcome it and take the same care of it that I have for 65 years, I would leave it to him. There would be a possible problem, but I won't be there to witness it and it won't look like I favored one daughter over another. Signed, Befuddled. Suggestions? Perhaps I could sell it and use it as a partial down payment on the Rolls Royce I always wanted. Actually it was a Maserati but getting in and out of that type of car would be an all day task at my age.
In 1960 I paid $50.00 for it, (on layaway for $3.00 per week of my lawnmowing money) until it was paid off. I had it appraised back when I had it reset 10 years ago and it was valued at about $2500.00.
Watched a local Memorial Day parade this morning. Took a few photos, but none were any good. I was focusing on these 3 vets in particular, who were marching and carrying large flags. Do you think I could have gotten ONE decent photo?! It was slightly windy, and in every photo (about 8 of them), a flag moved and covered the face of at least one of the guys!
Watched a local Memorial Day parade this morning. Took a few photos, but none were any good. I was focusing on these 3 vets in particular, who were marching and carrying large flags. Do you think I could have gotten ONE decent photo?! It was slightly windy, and in every photo (about 8 of them), a flag moved and covered the face of at least one of the guys!
Did you watch the Memorial Day concert on PBS last night? It was well done as usual. I will say I don't always like all the music performances but the telling of the soldiers stories is always good.
Just a quick note concerning my Daughters request for my wedding band (I gifted it to her already). I'm afraid to say that I was unaware that it was a thing. I knew that daughters usually wanted just the rings from their Mothers, that I understood, but that one surprised me. I'm glad to hear that it is kinda normal.
I have another "ring" problem though. I have made it a point of always trying my best to make sure that what I did for one of my girls, I did for both of them. Quick history that I think I already posted at some point. When I was around 12 (1960) or so, I bought a ring for myself. It was a large ruby birthstone ring in a gold setting. Not gaudy, just a large stone. I have worn that almost every day for the past 65 years. I had it reset a couple of times, that last time about 10 years ago. There is only one natural stone that is stronger than that and it is a diamond. There is a microscopic scratch that I possibly got when I brushed against my wife diamond. It isn't noticeable unless you look at it in a certain light and have really good vision. Enough background!
Anyway, as you might have guessed, both (at different times) have asked for the ring be left to them. One ring, two people I love wanting it. I had many thoughts about it since then. I thought about the possibility of having the stone cut in half and creating some type of jewelry that both could have. Sounded good on paper, but modifying the stone would lesson its value beyond what it would cost to have it done, and who would be able to take a rectangular, faceted, stone and make it not be weird looking? I have one grandson (24 years old now) that situations have made me closer too and if I thought for a minute that he might welcome it and take the same care of it that I have for 65 years, I would leave it to him. There would be a possible problem, but I won't be there to witness it and it won't look like I favored one daughter over another. Signed, Befuddled. Suggestions? Perhaps I could sell it and use it as a partial down payment on the Rolls Royce I always wanted. Actually it was a Maserati but getting in and out of that type of car would be an all day task at my age.
In 1960 I paid $50.00 for it, (on layaway for $3.00 per week of my lawnmowing money) until it was paid off. I had it appraised back when I had it reset 10 years ago and it was valued at about $2500.00.
I think I got my pair of shoes figured out. I like Under Armour shoes, so I ordered a few different styles, but didn't like them in person. I finally found a pair I liked. However, my regular size (13) was too big. So then I had to exchange it for a 12. So now after all this, I have 11 days to break them in before Disney.
Did you watch the Memorial Day concert on PBS last night? It was well done as usual. I will say I don't always like all the music performances but the telling of the soldiers stories is always good.
Yes, I saw it. Watch it every year. I wasn't familiar with any of the singers they had this year. As you mentioned, the soldiers' stories throughout the event were compelling.
Also, it was good to see Gary Sinise hosting this again. He's had a few tough years with family illnesses, and had cut way back on his public appearances. I read that he continued to support veterans through his foundation, and felt that being of service to others, helped him through the loss of his wife and son (different years) due to cancer.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Joe Montegna (who has co-hosted this event since 2006), was unable to attend, due to a medical condition. As a late substitute, Esai Morales stepped in, and did a great job along with Gary Sinise.
Just a quick note concerning my Daughters request for my wedding band (I gifted it to her already). I'm afraid to say that I was unaware that it was a thing. I knew that daughters usually wanted just the rings from their Mothers, that I understood, but that one surprised me. I'm glad to hear that it is kinda normal.
I have another "ring" problem though. I have made it a point of always trying my best to make sure that what I did for one of my girls, I did for both of them. Quick history that I think I already posted at some point. When I was around 12 (1960) or so, I bought a ring for myself. It was a large ruby birthstone ring in a gold setting. Not gaudy, just a large stone. I have worn that almost every day for the past 65 years. I had it reset a couple of times, that last time about 10 years ago. There is only one natural stone that is stronger than that and it is a diamond. There is a microscopic scratch that I possibly got when I brushed against my wife diamond. It isn't noticeable unless you look at it in a certain light and have really good vision. Enough background!
Anyway, as you might have guessed, both (at different times) have asked for the ring be left to them. One ring, two people I love wanting it. I had many thoughts about it since then. I thought about the possibility of having the stone cut in half and creating some type of jewelry that both could have. Sounded good on paper, but modifying the stone would lesson its value beyond what it would cost to have it done, and who would be able to take a rectangular, faceted, stone and make it not be weird looking? I have one grandson (24 years old now) that situations have made me closer too and if I thought for a minute that he might welcome it and take the same care of it that I have for 65 years, I would leave it to him. There would be a possible problem, but I won't be there to witness it and it won't look like I favored one daughter over another. Signed, Befuddled. Suggestions? Perhaps I could sell it and use it as a partial down payment on the Rolls Royce I always wanted. Actually it was a Maserati but getting in and out of that type of car would be an all day task at my age.
In 1960 I paid $50.00 for it, (on layaway for $3.00 per week of my lawnmowing money) until it was paid off. I had it appraised back when I had it reset 10 years ago and it was valued at about $2500.00.
You said you already gifted the wedding ring, right? Who got the wedding ring? It seems to me that you could only give that to one of them as well. So whomever got that ring should understand the other getting this one. That way, they each got a ring, correct?
You said you already gifted the wedding ring, right? Who got the wedding ring? It seems to me that you could only give that to one of them as well. So whomever got that ring should understand the other getting this one. That way, they each got a ring, correct?
I understand, but it isn't all that simple. My daughters, although both are good people, have massively different personalities. The one that I gave the wedding band to actually said, "if you can give me that, then your other ring should go to my sister". The problem is that I seriously don't feel that her sister would care about my ring at all once she got it and would really not have any emotional bond for it at all. I just want someone that I know would really feel that it is an everlasting part of me and my very being and treat it that way. I just am not convinced that she would. Seems like a simple thing, but my mind isn't processing it that way and I somehow need to get the issue resolved in a way that I would feel good about. I guess it could be said, why do I care? It is just an object that I own and I'll be dead and will not know what happened to it anyway. I suppose since at one point she did actually request that I leave it to her, that I really don't have any solid reason to think that it wouldn't mean something special to her.
There are a lot of things that I hate but the biggest one is when I cannot seem to make a decision about something that, at its core, really doesn't matter at all. I know it all sounds foolish. It's just a ring but, again, it isn't all that simple. I consider myself to have been a success in spite of not having any early direct goals. I supported my family the best I could. There was always a roof over our heads and we never went hungry. I found a way to get both my daughters to graduate from well known colleges. One in Colorado Springs and the other in New Orleans while their Mother was also a full time student in Boston. We made a lot of trips to WDW and lived a middle class life. I don't have massive semi-castles to leave behind, or any stunningly large cash reserves (refer to the trifecta of college attendance) so all I have of any real value to me is this stupid ring and for some reason it seem important.
I understand, but it isn't all that simple. My daughters, although both are good people, have massively different personalities. The one that I gave the wedding band to actually said, "if you can give me that, then your other ring should go to my sister". The problem is that I seriously don't feel that her sister would care about my ring at all once she got it and would really not have any emotional bond for it at all. I just want someone that I know would really feel that it is an everlasting part of me and my very being and treat it that way. I just am not convinced that she would. Seems like a simple thing, but my mind isn't processing it that way and I somehow need to get the issue resolved in a way that I would feel good about. I guess it could be said, why do I care? It is just an object that I own and I'll be dead and will not know what happened to it anyway. I suppose since at one point she did actually request that I leave it to her, that I really don't have any solid reason to think that it wouldn't mean something special to her.
There are a lot of things that I hate but the biggest one is when I cannot seem to make a decision about something that, at its core, really doesn't matter at all. I know it all sounds foolish. It's just a ring but, again, it isn't all that simple. I consider myself to have been a success in spite of not having any early direct goals. I supported my family the best I could. There was always a roof over our heads and we never went hungry. I found a way to get both my daughters to graduate from well known colleges. One in Colorado Springs and the other in New Orleans while their Mother was also a full time student in Boston. We made a lot of trips to WDW and lived a middle class life. I don't have massive semi-castles to leave behind, or any stunningly large cash reserves (refer to the trifecta of college attendance) so all I have of any real value to me is this stupid ring and for some reason it seem important.
I think I got my pair of shoes figured out. I like Under Armour shoes, so I ordered a few different styles, but didn't like them in person. I finally found a pair I liked. However, my regular size (13) was too big. So then I had to exchange it for a 12. So now after all this, I have 11 days to break them in before Disney.
My heart is torn. I want to believe that my daughter cares enough about me to have an attachment bond that makes it important to her as well. I want to believe that since she did request it for after I have gone that she sees it as something important to her emotional well being. I want to believe that and on a certain level I do and that is the way I'm leaning at the moment. I guess I'll just have to make the choice and hope that it is a long time before it leaves my finger.
My hand isn't really that big but it is as old as it looks and my gracious, you can see the scratch.
It's at that point in the school year where I come home and work more. Every night this week I've been adding the day's photos into our class video that I put together each year. Tonight I put together their end of year gift. I take a selfie with each student and put it in a picture frame. Then I'll end up putting the QR code to the class video on the back. I also filled all the spray bottles for our Splash Day tomorrow. We were supposed to do it today, but the weather didn't cooperate... too cool. Tomorrow's high is only 70, but there's no other option beyond that, so hopefully there isn't much wind.
It's at that point in the school year where I come home and work more. Every night this week I've been adding the day's photos into our class video that I put together each year. Tonight I put together their end of year gift. I take a selfie with each student and put it in a picture frame. Then I'll end up putting the QR code to the class video on the back. I also filled all the spray bottles for our Splash Day tomorrow. We were supposed to do it today, but the weather didn't cooperate... too cool. Tomorrow's high is only 70, but there's no other option beyond that, so hopefully there isn't much wind.
0.5 days left with students for me. Tuesday we had our service learning day (which I help coordinate) and today was the reward trip for passing students to Valleyfair (a regional amusement park). Our service learning day went well and so did today. The trip to the amusement park is a long day, I just got home a little while ago, and today it was drizzling a lot of the day and a little cold. This has been a school year with a lot of ups and downs, I'll be sorry to see the 8th graders go I really enjoyed them the last two years. The 7th graders are fine too but there are just a lot of favorites of mine now in that 8th grade class.
0.5 days left with students for me. Tuesday we had our service learning day (which I help coordinate) and today was the reward trip for passing students to Valleyfair (a regional amusement park). Our service learning day went well and so did today. The trip to the amusement park is a long day, I just got home a little while ago, and today it was drizzling a lot of the day and a little cold. This has been a school year with a lot of ups and downs, I'll be sorry to see the 8th graders go I really enjoyed them the last two years. The 7th graders are fine too but there are just a lot of favorites of mine now in that 8th grade class.
As I've shared before, I'm more than ready to end this year. I would say multiple students had the biggest behaviors I've had. Once I got one student figured out, another picked up. I've been running on a month and a half straight of being yelled at, tables kicked, lamps knocked over, for giving simple instructions like "draw a picture".
There are some good kids, but they're vastly overshadowed by the major behaviors and high needs. I almost wasn't going to do the end of year pictures because I didn't want to spend money on this class after what they've put me through, but then I remember those few good ones.
I'm hoping tomorrow goes well. It's our Spirit Day with bouncy houses, and then our Splash Day. Spirit Day is always fun, and I participate in the obstacle courses, too. Splash Day has been my favorite day of the year since I've been doing it. I think this will be my fourth year. I let students bring swimsuits to change into if they'd like, and we play games with sponges, water balloons, and spray bottles. Honestly, they just love the novelty of wearing swimsuits at school. I could probably just let them do that, and they'd be thrilled. But at the end I just let them take spray bottles and spray each other. Then all the extra water I take and dump on them. They love it. I love it. It's a lot of fun. I just hope behaviors don't get in the way. I've already told them that I'm coming to school tomorrow to have fun, and if they can't handle the fun, they won't be participating and taking away the fun from me and their classmates.
Friday is a half day, and we'll do an end of year slideshow at an assembly. Then I'll show my class video and give them their gifts. We won't do much else other than kill time.
