donaldtoo
Well-Known Member
Oh my, yes…very pretty…!!!

Indeed, I recall you shared this lovely photo of you and your dad, in the past. I loved your gorgeous flower arrangement as well !!
It's beautiful!! That's nice that you got to choose your own music. I was given a list with I think 5 pieces, to choose from. I walked down to Jesu Joy of Man's desiring and I THINK I left to Trumpet Voluntary in D. The traditional Wagner Bridal march was strictly forbidden, as was the traditional recessional by Mendelssohn. I think I could choose from Trumpet Voluntary, Jesu Joy, Pachelbel's cannon in D, and I think there were 2 others, but I don't remember what they were. And for something someone could sing, there was also a list, one of which was The Wedding Song, which I sang at a friend's wedding once and it's super boring...it's mostly one note. I knew I didn't want that one. And the list was very short....the one I went with was Oh Promise Me. I have no idea how the lists were compiled, but it seemed to be a denomination-wide thing. I'm sure there are pastors who are a bit more relaxed with the rules, but between my mom and the pastor, there was no bending of any rules much less breaking them.I walked down the aisle to a friend (Doug) playing acoustic guitar and singing James Taylor’s “You’ve Got a Friend”.
We picked that song because first and foremost we were, are, and always will be best friends.
I have no recollection of the recessional song. One of the Sisters on the organ, I’m sure.
I just took a quick look at my wedding album, it doesn’t look like we did any of the decorating. Everything was provided by the nuns. We were welcomed into their private chapel at the Motherhouse - definitely NOT often used as a wedding venue. We were honoured guests. Fresh flowers at the altar, yes; bows and ribbons, I don’t see any.
Google images of the building. It was deconsecrated and sold to a college in 2017.
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And yes, I have climbed to the top of that bell tower. Not on my wedding day, for obvious reasons.
Yeah, ELCA makes a huge difference. ELCA is usually quite a bit more relaxed. My understanding is that Wisconsin Synod is even more strict than LCMS, but I don't see how. I don't know what things they require, but I had the pastor from our home town do our ceremony in the chapel on campus at the university where I had just graduated. I had gone to church there sometimes, but I hadn't liked the pastor much. I had gone there every Sunday for a couple of months and he was still greeting me like I was new and he didn't know me. My mom was really angry when I stopped going there, and then demanded that I go to the LCMS church off campus, but I was quite lucky because a high school friend of hers was married to an LCMS pastor, and their son also went to university there and he refused to go to the campus chapel or the LCMS off campus as well, citing the same types of things I said. So since his father was a pastor and told my mom that HE wasn't going to church there either, mom backed down. She was still awful to me because I wasn't being obedient to her anymore, but at least she stopped harping on me not going to church there...or didn't harp as much.Not all Lutherans are that strict, I think it depends on the synod of Lutherans and the actual church/pastor. At our wedding we used my home church but a pastor friend of my husband’s did our wedding. We were really able to use the musician we wanted and organist We wanted as well. We used decorations on the pews, but we just couldn’t use any adhesive. And another rule about decorations was only live real flowers on the altar, but fake flowers could be used on the pews in anywhere else.. Now the brad. has done many weddings. He’s seen and allowed plenty of different stuff that wouldn’t be seen as strict as you describe. But our church is ELCA Lutheran so maybe that makes a difference.
Your mother was very religious, but she did seem to lack the “Joy of the Lord”.It's beautiful!! That's nice that you got to choose your own music. I was given a list with I think 5 pieces, to choose from. I walked down to Jesu Joy of Man's desiring and I THINK I left to Trumpet Voluntary in D. The traditional Wagner Bridal march was strictly forbidden, as was the traditional recessional by Mendelssohn. I think I could choose from Trumpet Voluntary, Jesu Joy, Pachelbel's cannon in D, and I think there were 2 others, but I don't remember what they were. And for something someone could sing, there was also a list, one of which was The Wedding Song, which I sang at a friend's wedding once and it's super boring...it's mostly one note. I knew I didn't want that one. And the list was very short....the one I went with was Oh Promise Me. I have no idea how the lists were compiled, but it seemed to be a denomination-wide thing. I'm sure there are pastors who are a bit more relaxed with the rules, but between my mom and the pastor, there was no bending of any rules much less breaking them.
My mother was extremely conservative, and when we went to weddings or funerals in other churches, she would refuse to sing the hymns or recite the liturgy unless they were ones that were used in the Lutheran Church as well. If we were on vacation and there was no Missouri Synod Lutheran church in town, we could go to an ELCA Lutheran Church, OR an episcopal Church as long as we did not sing any hymns that talked about what WE do for God, only what God does for us, and we couldn't not take communion. So she was adamant that we have no hymn singing at our wedding, because worshipping with people who believe differently is blasphemous. So we could have an LCMS singer (her cousin) sing a song from the approved list, or no music, and the church rule was that we HAD to use the church's organist and he could only play pieces from the approved list. No females were allowed to do readings. I THINK we may have had a friend who was also a pastor do a reading, but I'm not positive. I let my mom have WAY too much control over the wedding, especially considering she wasn't paying for it.
Your mom would have HATED the Church I grew up in.Yeah, ELCA makes a huge difference. ELCA is usually quite a bit more relaxed. My understanding is that Wisconsin Synod is even more strict than LCMS, but I don't see how. I don't know what things they require, but I had the pastor from our home town do our ceremony in the chapel on campus at the university where I had just graduated. I had gone to church there sometimes, but I hadn't liked the pastor much. I had gone there every Sunday for a couple of months and he was still greeting me like I was new and he didn't know me. My mom was really angry when I stopped going there, and then demanded that I go to the LCMS church off campus, but I was quite lucky because a high school friend of hers was married to an LCMS pastor, and their son also went to university there and he refused to go to the campus chapel or the LCMS off campus as well, citing the same types of things I said. So since his father was a pastor and told my mom that HE wasn't going to church there either, mom backed down. She was still awful to me because I wasn't being obedient to her anymore, but at least she stopped harping on me not going to church there...or didn't harp as much.
But I wasn't allowed to go to ELCA unless there was no LCMS, ALC was out of the question, and I wasn't allowed to take communion anywhere but LCMS. I went to a service at a different church....I don't remember which denomination, but I was just going to different churches trying to find one that "fit" and I remember they had a visiting pastor that Sunday, and in his sermon he said something about the Bible not being completely literal, and that the story of the tower of Babel being built in 3 days was a metaphor about the resurrection of Christ. My mom was furious at me when I told her about it and that I hadn't gotten up and walked out. Well, she was already angry at me for going to a church other than the LCMS one, but especially when she heard that I had not walked out when they were teaching heresy. She told me that I wasn't supposed to choose a church that "fit". That SHE had already chosen FOR me, and I didn't GET a choice. She had raised me LCMS and I had always BEEN LCMS and would always BE LCMS and I couldn't change that. Church is not to be "comfortable" in.
Your mother was very religious, but she did seem to lack the “Joy of the Lord”.![]()
Yeah, ELCA makes a huge difference. ELCA is usually quite a bit more relaxed. My understanding is that Wisconsin Synod is even more strict than LCMS, but I don't see how. I don't know what things they require, but I had the pastor from our home town do our ceremony in the chapel on campus at the university where I had just graduated. I had gone to church there sometimes, but I hadn't liked the pastor much. I had gone there every Sunday for a couple of months and he was still greeting me like I was new and he didn't know me. My mom was really angry when I stopped going there, and then demanded that I go to the LCMS church off campus, but I was quite lucky because a high school friend of hers was married to an LCMS pastor, and their son also went to university there and he refused to go to the campus chapel or the LCMS off campus as well, citing the same types of things I said. So since his father was a pastor and told my mom that HE wasn't going to church there either, mom backed down. She was still awful to me because I wasn't being obedient to her anymore, but at least she stopped harping on me not going to church there...or didn't harp as much.
But I wasn't allowed to go to ELCA unless there was no LCMS, ALC was out of the question, and I wasn't allowed to take communion anywhere but LCMS. I went to a service at a different church....I don't remember which denomination, but I was just going to different churches trying to find one that "fit" and I remember they had a visiting pastor that Sunday, and in his sermon he said something about the Bible not being completely literal, and that the story of the tower of Babel being built in 3 days was a metaphor about the resurrection of Christ. My mom was furious at me when I told her about it and that I hadn't gotten up and walked out. Well, she was already angry at me for going to a church other than the LCMS one, but especially when she heard that I had not walked out when they were teaching heresy. She told me that I wasn't supposed to choose a church that "fit". That SHE had already chosen FOR me, and I didn't GET a choice. She had raised me LCMS and I had always BEEN LCMS and would always BE LCMS and I couldn't change that. Church is not to be "comfortable" in.
Your mom would have HATED the Church I grew up in.![]()
My kids were good with 3 out of 4 of those rules.
Yeah don’t read my newspaper!
I remember that rule breakingMy kids were good with 3 out of 4 of those rules.
We had a few things happen on our wedding day that were a bit…not great…?!![]()
It drizzled the whole day. But our reception was across the parking lot from the church in our PAC (Parish Activity Center), so very close by.
A groomsman showed up late. Our video was taken by one of Carolyn’s cousins, and his battery died shortly after our reception started, and he didn’t have a spare, or recharge it. Fortunately, he recorded the whole ceremony, and I had it transferred to dvd years ago.
Other than those few, silly things it was an awesome day, and we’re still happily (as far as y’all know) married after almost 37 years…!!!!!
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You both looked very nice. I also love the flowers in Carolyn's bouquet.
May is an excellent month to get married, and apparently lends itself to similar coloured bouquets, no matter the year!!
May is an excellent month to get married, and apparently lends itself to similar coloured bouquets, no matter the year!!
39 years ago on May 3. Sunny day, but very chilly! This is a very romantic pose but we were shivering on the campus of the College of Mt St Vincent
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Coincidentally, this years calendar is identical to 1986, so our anniversary was on Kentucky Derby Day, same as when we married!
Forgive the poor image, I took a picture of our framed wedding portrait with my phone.
I love that all three of our headpiece/veils are similar!
When my mom passed in November of 2011, my brother Terry asked if he could have her wedding rings, and I said that as the oldest child and only girl, they should technically go to me. Besides what are you going to do with them? (I did not want them going to his longtime girlfriend of the time!)My wedding ring has been off for 25 years now and I can still see the ghost of where it was on my finger. I can see it but my camera didn't have enough dimensions to have it visible. You'll have to take my word for it.
It struck me as odd, but one of my daughters asked if she could have it as a keepsake. It surprised me, but was a very warm and happy emotional thing for me. I still don't completely understand what significance it had for her. Until then the ring to me was just a symbol of a failed marriage but now spending time with my very adult children it is a feeling that maybe that marriage had at least two very positive outcomes plus lot of laughs and wonderful memories.
When my mom passed in November of 2011, my brother Terry asked if he could have her wedding rings, and I said that as the oldest child and only girl, they should technically go to me. Besides what are you going to do with them? (I did not want them going to his longtime girlfriend of the time!)
He said he would wear them on a chain. So for Christmas that year, I had them cleaned, a tiny diamond replaced, all the claws tightened, and then bought a chain and gave it to him for Christmas.
He cried. I was always going to give them to him, I just didn’t want Diane to have them. (They were so wrong for each other. They ended up breaking up a few years later for the second and final time, so I was right.)
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