That’s so sad. I’ve read articles federal workers going to work have no more cleaning services for the bathrooms and offices because of DOGE cost cutting workersHello-
Yesterday, I did a plyometric workout and today I did a metabolic workout. I finally got out for a walk yesterday, since the rain stopped. It was very sunny, but also windy and chilly. I had to bundle up. I can't wait for the warmer weather to return.
I'm still getting used to seeing my husband only on the weekends. Everyone has to return to the office next week. They are no longer allowed to use the "hotel reservation" system for seats and computers. 150 people don't have seats. His manager asked for guidance and she was told to deal with it herself. There is also no more funding for things like toilet paper and office supplies, so I guess they are all going to have chip in for this stuff. What a way to treat public servants. I have a feeling there is going to be a serious discussion in this house this weekend. Ugh.
I am making slow cooker Thai chicken curry. It's a weird recipe and I think it's intended for people who don't have access to certain ingredients like curry paste. I am curious to see how it tastes. It uses salsa, peanut butter, coconut milk, ginger, soy sauce, lime and sugar. I might put fish sauce in there, too. It's not really Thai, but it's easy and I will get a few dinners out of it.
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working out for Disney
- Thread starter Figgy1
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Songbird76
Well-Known Member
That is so weird about your husband's work!! How in the world is that supposed to work? And what is the point in making them all come in to the office if they can't all work there at the same time because there aren't enough facilities? What....he goes in an if there's no computer available, he twiddles his thumbs for the whole day? And buying your own supplies? I mean, teachers have been doing that for decades, but teachers have also been severely underpaid for decades. This feels to me like they are TRYING to get people to quit at your husband's office so they don't have to be the bad guys by firing them, and also so they don't have to pay severance packages? And weren't a lot of the employees who were fired hired back after the firings were blocked? Maybe they are just trying to get around it by making it an untenable situation so people quit. In any case, very strange, and I'd be very wary...good luck with that serious discussion. Yikes.Hello-
Yesterday, I did a plyometric workout and today I did a metabolic workout. I finally got out for a walk yesterday, since the rain stopped. It was very sunny, but also windy and chilly. I had to bundle up. I can't wait for the warmer weather to return.
I'm still getting used to seeing my husband only on the weekends. Everyone has to return to the office next week. They are no longer allowed to use the "hotel reservation" system for seats and computers. 150 people don't have seats. His manager asked for guidance and she was told to deal with it herself. There is also no more funding for things like toilet paper and office supplies, so I guess they are all going to have chip in for this stuff. What a way to treat public servants. I have a feeling there is going to be a serious discussion in this house this weekend. Ugh.
I am making slow cooker Thai chicken curry. It's a weird recipe and I think it's intended for people who don't have access to certain ingredients like curry paste. I am curious to see how it tastes. It uses salsa, peanut butter, coconut milk, ginger, soy sauce, lime and sugar. I might put fish sauce in there, too. It's not really Thai, but it's easy and I will get a few dinners out of it.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
Yeah, my mom was very strict and it was hard to fly under the radar in such a small town. 1200 people and everyone knows everyone. There were times where we weren't even doing anything wrong and we'd come home and mom would know what we were doing and who we were with because someone had seen us and reported to mom. And we were the "good" kids. I actually found out I was engaged in my....sophomore year? I didn't even have a boyfriend, had never been on a date, but people thought I was engaged. Gossip in a small town, you know? And my mom demanded she always know where we were. We had to give mom a schedule of our classes so she knew exactly which class we were in when, and wherever we went outside of school hours, she had to know where we were, who we were with, and when we'd be home. We weren't allowed to go anywhere other than where we said we were going. If I went to Nikki's house and we decided to go for a walk, I had to call my mom and ask if I could go for a walk with Nikki, and I had to tell her WHERE we were going to walk and when we expected to be back at Nikki's. I got in trouble for sitting at the playground at the rec center in junior high because Nikki and I were hanging out there instead of walking, and we were talking to some other people who we encountered and my mom didn't know them. (They were new in town and starting at our school in the fall) She didn't want me to get a "reputation" for loitering. Because obviously, kids who aren't busy must be delinquents.
Yeah, it was like the boy who cried wolf. She had told so many bogus stories that when she WAS telling the truth, you couldn't tell.
Sans Souci
Well-Known Member
Yes, it's constructive dismissal. They are doing this before the RIFs come out, so they won't have to pay for severance if people can't tolerate the conditions. He's been helping his boss create a seating arrangement. Also, his travel credit card was reduced to $1, so he had to cancel the rest of his off-site examinations this year. HIs agency received a buy out offer yesterday, but he said the money is a bit better if you wait for the RIF. The buy out is really for people who were close to retirement. He seems to think he is going to be spared, but I am not sure. There is no rhyme or reason for dismissals and I think that's deliberate.
The good news is the Treasury Secretary is creating policy to funnel fired federal employees to factory jobs. /s
Sans Souci
Well-Known Member
Good morning-
I did a low impact HIIT workout and then a quick circuit of back exercises. It was pretty sweaty, which makes me feel like I actually worked out.
My crock pot quasi-Thai chicken was ok. It's ok if you don't have things like curry paste or fish sauce on hand. It was just missing something. I think red curry paste has things like dried shrimp paste mixed in, so I think I was missing things like that. I don't think I would make it again, it was very peanut butter-forward. I was just having a hard time finding my preferred red curry paste. I don't care for the Taste of Thai brand curry paste. It might be me, too. I don't really have a "taste" for anything lately, so I struggle with meal planning. lol
Callie came in at 5 pm and my son had to kick her out after 1 AM. He gets the late night shift with her. He said he was tempted to let her sleep, but he was worried about her waking up early in the morning and freaking out. I really would like her to see a vet. It feels negligent not to get her help, but I am not sure how she would handle a visit to the vet. I would have to find a vet who does house calls and will treat a feral cat. I'd say she is semi-feral now. I have been doing things like picking her up very briefly and putting her down. So far, she seems to handle that pretty well.
I did a low impact HIIT workout and then a quick circuit of back exercises. It was pretty sweaty, which makes me feel like I actually worked out.
My crock pot quasi-Thai chicken was ok. It's ok if you don't have things like curry paste or fish sauce on hand. It was just missing something. I think red curry paste has things like dried shrimp paste mixed in, so I think I was missing things like that. I don't think I would make it again, it was very peanut butter-forward. I was just having a hard time finding my preferred red curry paste. I don't care for the Taste of Thai brand curry paste. It might be me, too. I don't really have a "taste" for anything lately, so I struggle with meal planning. lol
Callie came in at 5 pm and my son had to kick her out after 1 AM. He gets the late night shift with her. He said he was tempted to let her sleep, but he was worried about her waking up early in the morning and freaking out. I really would like her to see a vet. It feels negligent not to get her help, but I am not sure how she would handle a visit to the vet. I would have to find a vet who does house calls and will treat a feral cat. I'd say she is semi-feral now. I have been doing things like picking her up very briefly and putting her down. So far, she seems to handle that pretty well.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
That is just....wow. I don't even know what to say. What a circus!!
HouCuseChickie
Well-Known Member
That is certainly part of it. I grew up in what we'd consider a small town, but it's enormous compared to yours. I also grew up in a major metro area so there were tons of people. Word got around about a lot of stuff but probably not nearly to the same degree. I know my parents wanted to know where we were going to be but most places were OK and it was not uncommon for me to do something other than what I told them. They did follow me once and caught me, but for the most part, they backed off. I might get grounded for a week and do some extra work around the house without pay, but that was about it. It's also possible we could have had more to do...not that any of it was amazing (mainly movie theaters, restaurants, malls, nature areas, bowling, pool halls, etc.), but there were always options especially if we had someone with a car in the mix before we got our licenses. I was recently reminded of how our roller rinks turned into dance clubs at night and we had a legitimate night club in town that actually attracted people away from heading into the city. They had an under 18 night, although it was still frequented by pervy older guys who would hang out in other areas and try to lure in the minors. Shoot, we even had a small amusement park with indoor options in the winter. As long as I was doing well in school and was engaged in all of my extracurriculars...including my busy singing schedule, I could do a lot as long as I was home by curfew. Ultimately, the delinquents were the ones skipping school and getting into real trouble with the law.
Sad how that goes...but I guess it's why they teach kids that story.
StarWarsGirl
Well-Known Member
- In the Parks
- No
You can probably call a vet and let them know the situation. As long as they know what they're dealing with ahead of time, they can deal with it. Plenty of cats who are completely docile at other times are wild at the vet; vets are used to it.
Heck, mine has it on file for Jasmine (pictured) to have multiple vet techs because she's a strong girl. I took her in one time for an ear infection, and I heard her screaming in the back when they were cleaning out her ears. Then I heard the vet call "I need another tech!" I'm like, I tried to warn ya.
She didn't bite or anything, just screamed and tried to escape. All cats are dramatic; she's just particularly dramatic.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
Some of the rules were pretty logical....like, we had NOTHING in our town except the rec center, where you could swim, play racquetball, Wallyball, or use the weight room, and then outside there were the tennis courts and a playground there. On the outskirts of town were a few baseball fields. And we did rent a wallyball court on the weekends a lot and get a group together to play. It was cheap. But if you wanted to go rollerskating, bowling, to see a movie, etc, you had to drive 40 miles to Gillette, so a lot of kids with cars did that. My brother was a year older, so he was driving before me, obviously, and I was allowed to go with him. His car wasn't the most reliable...he had a 63 plymouth, so it was old and tended to break down. Once I got MY car, he would ask to take it, and I was expected to let him, but I just made the stipulation that he could only borrow it if I got to go, too. But I wasn't allowed to get a group of MY friends and take my car. I could only go if my brother was going. But the rule was that we had to call my mom before we left Gillette to come home so if we didn't get home within the hour, she should come looking for us. She only had to come rescue us once, and fortunately we were able to call her because we had stopped at a gas station to get snacks and to call her from the pay phone to say we were coming home, and then the car wouldn't start. It was 11pm by that time....we had been to the movies. The ONLY thing open besides the gas station was Perkins, so we called mom back, said the car wouldn't start and we'd wait for her at the perkins, and we walked the couple of blocks to it and sat and waited for her to pick us up. That was a perfectly logical rule that we didn't mind following. My brother had fewer restrictions than I did anyway, and as long as I was with him, it was fine. She trusted him and his judgment and his driving where she didn't trust mine even though I had never given her any reason not to. I had never been late, never been where I wasn't supposed to be, never had a ticket, a warning, or an accident....it was just that he was older and a boy, so obviously he was more competent than I was. But people would just call mom to tell her where they saw us. I had asked my mom if I could hang out with Nikki, maybe go for a walk around town. Which we did....we walked from her house to the rec center. It had recently been remodeled and the entrance had been moved. The old entrance was a set of concrete steps that they left in place, but went nowhere. So we had run into some teens who we didn't know and Nikki and I were both empathetic, nice girls, so we welcomed the new kids in town and started talking to them. We sat on those concrete steps. Someone called my mom to tell her I was loitering at the rec center with some random kids. So I got in trouble when I got home because that wasn't "walking around town with Nikki." Really stupid....I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't have been. I don't think my mom really liked Nikki....for one, she was LDS....most of my friends were. LDS kids made up a significant portion of the population. But my mom was a staunch Lutheran who considered the LDS church a cult. But Nikki was also tall, thin, and pretty and very popular, and my mom didn't like that, because in her mind, popular seemed to be synonymous with "promiscuous". Boys noticed Nikki, and she was always very nicely dressed...everything was covered, but her clothes were flattering, which in my mom's opinion was provocative. No one should be able to see a girl's silhouette, that she had curves. That would attract boys, which was unacceptable. So while Nikki was a really nice girl, and very conservative, my mom did not consider her conservative ENOUGH. Our friend Amy was also LDS, but she was short, pudgey, and had glasses and neither of us were popular. So mom considered Amy much better company. We never did anything remotely questionable, but Nikki's appearance seemed to make my mother worried. She saw Nikki holding hands with her boyfriend once and was thoroughly scandalized and I got an earful about how she was all over her boyfriend and that was so inappropriate for public and she couldn't imagine Nikki's parents knew about it. (They did) I can't even imagine what my mom would have thought if I had been friends with one of the girls who *gasp* smoked. And there were a few who were known for drinking, smoking, skipping classes, being aggressive (though I don't ever remember any of them getting in trouble at SCHOOL for fighting....it was mostly rumors about altercations with teens in Gillette), but they were mostly older girls who would never have associated with someone like me. 2 of them were football cheerleaders with me, and they didn't like me.
I never really got in trouble at school, and my grades were always good. I got in trouble at HOME if mom didn't think my grades were high enough, like when I got the A- in social studies and she threatened to make me quit all my extra-curriculars until it was up where it belonged. Most of her rules were ridiculous. No rolling of pants legs. No feathering of hair. No makeup. No leather. No clothing with fringe. No stonewash denim. No large dangly earrings. Nothing tight fitting. No socialization with boys unless supervised by a parent. No going to someone's house if parents aren't present. No going to a boy's house, period. Curfew was when it STARTS to get dark, unless at a school event like play practice or a ball game. Mom could see the school from our house, so once cars started leaving the parking lot, I had about 10 minutes in which to call her for a ride, or to get home once I could drive. Some of them were reasonable...most weren't. Most were because she was absolutely terrified that something would happen to me or I would not make good decisions if she wasn't right there. Like I was incapable of saying no to smoking, or like I wasn't smart enough to know not to drive on icy roads, or what to do if my car got a flat tire. She really considered me incompetent and her rules were to prevent anything that I might have to rely on my own brains and skills to fix. Because of course the world would end if I had to fill up my car with gas and there was no one there to tell me how to do it.
My brother could figure stuff out, but...you know, I'm a girl, so....
HouCuseChickie
Well-Known Member
Start of week 18...
I got out for my walk a little on the early side this morning just to see if I could make it to one of my favorite viewpoints with enough time to get back. I literally walked in the door on the dot but may not choose to push it that much in the future. As much as I like my pre-work walk, I never intended for it to be much more than a 5k. Today's distance was 4 miles and I was pushed to a faster pace to get it done in time. With pacing, I'm really trying to find that sweet spot where it's a power walk, but not so much power that it becomes a stress inducing cortisol releasing event. I have been reading up on ideal walking speed for weight loss and found a couple of studies that showed a power walk in the 3.2-3.4 mph range to be more effective than those with higher paces. I guess my body was up for it though after getting in two long walks this weekend. I got in a solid 9 on Saturday and 7 on Sunday...along with over 10.5 miles of biking each day and gym work. I anticipate putting in an hour on the elliptical tonight at the gym as well as a leg day.
This also starts the second week of being more mindful of my caloric and protein intake. I haven't started adding protein powders or anything like that, but looking to more protein rich foods to feed the work I'm doing with weights. I really hate weighing and measuring out portions but there is a certain dose of reality and honesty in it. A certain husband of mine also pointed out my large dinner portion last night and noted that it was an awfully big plate of pasta. I guess this is for me pointing out his portions. The differences...1. I had eaten lighter earlier in the day. 2. It was edamame fettuccine and not regular pasta. 3. It was topped with lighter and well portioned ingredients (baked completely plain boneless skinless chicken breast, steamed broccoli, measured half portion of unsalted roasted sunflower seeds, a measured portion of kalamata olives, a few sprays of light cooking spray, and a little salt and pepper to taste). I also decided to try Halo Top for a lighter sweet treat and picked up a bag of Lily's chocolate chips to see if they are worth all of the raves. So far...impressed with both and I think they're going to help quiet some of the food noise I'm starting to experience. I was down another 4 pounds last week, so I am just trying to keep the progress going...although, I am starting to get anxious about making this all work while we're on the road this summer.
I got out for my walk a little on the early side this morning just to see if I could make it to one of my favorite viewpoints with enough time to get back. I literally walked in the door on the dot but may not choose to push it that much in the future. As much as I like my pre-work walk, I never intended for it to be much more than a 5k. Today's distance was 4 miles and I was pushed to a faster pace to get it done in time. With pacing, I'm really trying to find that sweet spot where it's a power walk, but not so much power that it becomes a stress inducing cortisol releasing event. I have been reading up on ideal walking speed for weight loss and found a couple of studies that showed a power walk in the 3.2-3.4 mph range to be more effective than those with higher paces. I guess my body was up for it though after getting in two long walks this weekend. I got in a solid 9 on Saturday and 7 on Sunday...along with over 10.5 miles of biking each day and gym work. I anticipate putting in an hour on the elliptical tonight at the gym as well as a leg day.
This also starts the second week of being more mindful of my caloric and protein intake. I haven't started adding protein powders or anything like that, but looking to more protein rich foods to feed the work I'm doing with weights. I really hate weighing and measuring out portions but there is a certain dose of reality and honesty in it. A certain husband of mine also pointed out my large dinner portion last night and noted that it was an awfully big plate of pasta. I guess this is for me pointing out his portions. The differences...1. I had eaten lighter earlier in the day. 2. It was edamame fettuccine and not regular pasta. 3. It was topped with lighter and well portioned ingredients (baked completely plain boneless skinless chicken breast, steamed broccoli, measured half portion of unsalted roasted sunflower seeds, a measured portion of kalamata olives, a few sprays of light cooking spray, and a little salt and pepper to taste). I also decided to try Halo Top for a lighter sweet treat and picked up a bag of Lily's chocolate chips to see if they are worth all of the raves. So far...impressed with both and I think they're going to help quiet some of the food noise I'm starting to experience. I was down another 4 pounds last week, so I am just trying to keep the progress going...although, I am starting to get anxious about making this all work while we're on the road this summer.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
What is a halo top?
I went and got myself a bagel from bagels and beans for lunch today. Sooooo good. I had a vega love on a whole grain bagel with chive "cream cheese". (I don't know what they make their cream cheese from, but I know they do vegan cream cheese there. The vega love is eggplant, zucchini, red bell pepper, pesto, sunflower seeds, and parmesean flakes (which I think are also vegan). There may be some other veggies in there, but that's what I've been able to figure out. For a while they had a pulled toadstoel one that was like pulled pork, but it was all mushroom stuff, and that one was also delicious, but they changed the menu and that one was taken off. But I love the Vega love one. And I walked to the centrum to get it, so I got my steps in, too.
HouCuseChickie
Well-Known Member
Some of the rules were pretty logical....like, we had NOTHING in our town except the rec center, where you could swim, play racquetball, Wallyball, or use the weight room, and then outside there were the tennis courts and a playground there. On the outskirts of town were a few baseball fields. And we did rent a wallyball court on the weekends a lot and get a group together to play. It was cheap. But if you wanted to go rollerskating, bowling, to see a movie, etc, you had to drive 40 miles to Gillette, so a lot of kids with cars did that. My brother was a year older, so he was driving before me, obviously, and I was allowed to go with him. His car wasn't the most reliable...he had a 63 plymouth, so it was old and tended to break down. Once I got MY car, he would ask to take it, and I was expected to let him, but I just made the stipulation that he could only borrow it if I got to go, too. But I wasn't allowed to get a group of MY friends and take my car. I could only go if my brother was going. But the rule was that we had to call my mom before we left Gillette to come home so if we didn't get home within the hour, she should come looking for us. She only had to come rescue us once, and fortunately we were able to call her because we had stopped at a gas station to get snacks and to call her from the pay phone to say we were coming home, and then the car wouldn't start. It was 11pm by that time....we had been to the movies. The ONLY thing open besides the gas station was Perkins, so we called mom back, said the car wouldn't start and we'd wait for her at the perkins, and we walked the couple of blocks to it and sat and waited for her to pick us up. That was a perfectly logical rule that we didn't mind following. My brother had fewer restrictions than I did anyway, and as long as I was with him, it was fine. She trusted him and his judgment and his driving where she didn't trust mine even though I had never given her any reason not to. I had never been late, never been where I wasn't supposed to be, never had a ticket, a warning, or an accident....it was just that he was older and a boy, so obviously he was more competent than I was. But people would just call mom to tell her where they saw us. I had asked my mom if I could hang out with Nikki, maybe go for a walk around town. Which we did....we walked from her house to the rec center. It had recently been remodeled and the entrance had been moved. The old entrance was a set of concrete steps that they left in place, but went nowhere. So we had run into some teens who we didn't know and Nikki and I were both empathetic, nice girls, so we welcomed the new kids in town and started talking to them. We sat on those concrete steps. Someone called my mom to tell her I was loitering at the rec center with some random kids. So I got in trouble when I got home because that wasn't "walking around town with Nikki." Really stupid....I wasn't doing anything I shouldn't have been. I don't think my mom really liked Nikki....for one, she was LDS....most of my friends were. LDS kids made up a significant portion of the population. But my mom was a staunch Lutheran who considered the LDS church a cult. But Nikki was also tall, thin, and pretty and very popular, and my mom didn't like that, because in her mind, popular seemed to be synonymous with "promiscuous". Boys noticed Nikki, and she was always very nicely dressed...everything was covered, but her clothes were flattering, which in my mom's opinion was provocative. No one should be able to see a girl's silhouette, that she had curves. That would attract boys, which was unacceptable. So while Nikki was a really nice girl, and very conservative, my mom did not consider her conservative ENOUGH. Our friend Amy was also LDS, but she was short, pudgey, and had glasses and neither of us were popular. So mom considered Amy much better company. We never did anything remotely questionable, but Nikki's appearance seemed to make my mother worried. She saw Nikki holding hands with her boyfriend once and was thoroughly scandalized and I got an earful about how she was all over her boyfriend and that was so inappropriate for public and she couldn't imagine Nikki's parents knew about it. (They did) I can't even imagine what my mom would have thought if I had been friends with one of the girls who *gasp* smoked. And there were a few who were known for drinking, smoking, skipping classes, being aggressive (though I don't ever remember any of them getting in trouble at SCHOOL for fighting....it was mostly rumors about altercations with teens in Gillette), but they were mostly older girls who would never have associated with someone like me. 2 of them were football cheerleaders with me, and they didn't like me.
I never really got in trouble at school, and my grades were always good. I got in trouble at HOME if mom didn't think my grades were high enough, like when I got the A- in social studies and she threatened to make me quit all my extra-curriculars until it was up where it belonged. Most of her rules were ridiculous. No rolling of pants legs. No feathering of hair. No makeup. No leather. No clothing with fringe. No stonewash denim. No large dangly earrings. Nothing tight fitting. No socialization with boys unless supervised by a parent. No going to someone's house if parents aren't present. No going to a boy's house, period. Curfew was when it STARTS to get dark, unless at a school event like play practice or a ball game. Mom could see the school from our house, so once cars started leaving the parking lot, I had about 10 minutes in which to call her for a ride, or to get home once I could drive. Some of them were reasonable...most weren't. Most were because she was absolutely terrified that something would happen to me or I would not make good decisions if she wasn't right there. Like I was incapable of saying no to smoking, or like I wasn't smart enough to know not to drive on icy roads, or what to do if my car got a flat tire. She really considered me incompetent and her rules were to prevent anything that I might have to rely on my own brains and skills to fix. Because of course the world would end if I had to fill up my car with gas and there was no one there to tell me how to do it.
The reality is that I'm sure there were probably some moms like yours in our midst as well. There were kids we'd see at school who were nice enough and not relegated to the socially inferior (but still social) groups. So, I can only assume that they weren't allowed to be out and about like the rest of us. We also grew up in very different parts of the country. There were no LDS kids in our mix to the best of my knowledge. My town was predominantly Italian, with a ton of Roman Catholic families. The next highest concentration were Jewish kids, like me. Being NY metro, it was one small town right after another that eventually fed into more urban areas leading into Newark, Jersey City, and all of NYCs boroughs. There was more farmland and undeveloped areas the farther south and west you went, but it's nothing like the wide-open spaces you see in Wyoming.
Your list of attire restrictions makes up most of my regular wardrobe. Makeup was also a must. It's really too bad (about it as a whole) because that kind of restrictiveness can lead to all kinds of issues. It's so hard to loosen the reins, but if you've prepared them and it's done gradually, they can stumble a bit and learn while they still have a safety net. It reminds me of Finding Nemo where Marlin talks to Dory about wanting nothing to happen to Nemo and she remarks that it's funny...like how is anything going to happen for him (implying the good as well) if he doesn't let anything happen.
HouCuseChickie
Well-Known Member
Halo Top is a low calorie ice cream. The pint is equivalent to three servings, but it's designed so you don't wreck your nutrition if you eat the whole thing. The birthday cake flavor I got had 300 calories in the entire pint. So, 100 calories per serving. That's less than one scoop of the plain vanilla real ice cream David buys for himself.
There's a brand of bagels called Royo that I want to try...low cal and low carb. It's only 70 calories per bagel on average. With the exception of that Halo Top, I've been avoiding most dairy since it's a trigger for me and may be to blame for my lipoma issues. I tried vegan ones for a while, but I still have restraint issues.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
Yes, we definitely grew up in wildly different environments. In my school, if you didn't have friends who were LDS, you probably didn't have many friends. Almost all of my best friends were LDS. And then the other group was ranch kids. Most of our town is really conservative. The LDS families were brought in by the coal mines, and the ranch families had mostly lived there for a few generations. My grandpa homesteaded there. The town was named after some other homesteaders. So it's not a very diverse area. If you look at the demographics, it's 95% white. There were a couple of hispanic families, an Asian family, and one black man when I was growing up. I remember when one of the hispanic families moved there....I think I was in 3rd or 4th grade, and there was a boy in the grade below me who didn't speak a word of English. He learned pretty quickly, I think....I was friends with him in high school and he was fluent by then in any case.
But it's kind of weird that my mom was so afraid of me having a social life. She was from Chicago area. Yes, her town was small and largely German population, but they weren't far from Chicago and she and her friends used to go into the city to watch musicals and such, so I know she was exposed to diversity and she HAD a social life up until she married my dad and moved to Wyoming. Why wouldn't she have wanted that for me? And she always compained about parents not teaching their kids to think and to be independent, but she tried so hard to keep me on a really short leash so I would never have to make a decision myself or experience anything that would require me to think, because....what if my thoughts weren't in line with hers? So it was pretty hypocritical, and I don't think she really realized it. I think she honestly believed that I did the things I did because I agreed with her that that was the right thing. But then at the same time, she thought I was completely incompetent and wouldn't be able to make it on my own without her telling me what to do. It was so strange.
HouCuseChickie
Well-Known Member
There's no great story of how I ended up growing up where I did...well, aside from all of the bouncing around we did before that between GA and OH, before my parents got us back to their home state of NJ (my dad took a job in Atlanta a few weeks before I was due and moved us from NJ to GA). Ultimately, I grew up in NJ where I did because it had a great school system and wasn't a bad commute for my dad. The demographics and resources were just sort of what went along with it. My mom grew up about 30 minutes south/southeast of there and my dad grew up in a more southern part of the state that was closer to Philadelphia. So, there were no great ties to our town and many people often moved away after their kids graduated. That's great that the boy learned so fast! To be honest, I don't think we ever had anyone (that I knew of) come in that didn't speak English. They had some relatives that didn't...especially all of the nonas who would come over from Italy for part of the summer.
They say sometimes that parents who themselves were more socially active tend to be stricter with their children. Like they see how it was for them with all of these freedoms and experiences and it sends them into overdrive to protect their own from the hurt and mistakes of their past. Unfortunately, some can go overboard with this protection to the point of stifling and stunting. Fear is a powerful motivator. Of course, I know some moms who went overboard for other reasons. I have one friend whose mom sort of used and abused her growing up...almost like she was slave labor. I think she was so resentful of how she was treated that she smothered her children. That smothering, to her, probably seemed like the love she never got but instead it was so protective that her kids were never allowed to do anything on their own. If they were invited to a party (like even more formal ones with plated meals and true head counts) or there were any kind of school activities/trip...she had to be present. Imagine hosting your child's nice sweet 16 and having a mother insist on being added to the guest list so she could be there to monitor her child. In both college and adulthood, her daughter rebelled and pulled away significantly to the point that they have a really strained relationship. It also kept her from dating and learning warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. She's safe now, but I strongly suspect her lack of experience as a teen helped lead her to an abusive relationship as a young adult. It restricted her son's ability to make friends, to the point that he never gained the social skills he really needed. He got a full ride to college just to fail out because he didn't know how to be around other people and literally fell apart. He ended up living at home for a while but became suicidal. He's improved since then and is adjusting, but her need to control them and protect them from having anything happen really messed them up as adults. Kind of like your mom, I don't think my friend ever really realized or would admit that her extreme love (i.e. overprotection) ended up being harmful.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
We had a few families come in where the kids didn't speak English, but most of them didn't stay long. I remember a girl named Holly coming in when I was in 3rd grade, but I don't even think she finished out the year there. And then when I was in high school, there was a family with 3 kids, none of whom spoke English. The mom from one of the hispanic families was called in to act as a sort of aid/translator for them, and she knew I had a good reputation, so she asked me to watch out for them at lunch when she wasn't with them. I had only taken 1 year of Spanish, so I couldn't really communicate well with them, but I at least tried to be a friendly face. A lot of the kids in our school were not very welcoming, and especially to people of other ethnicities. It was fine if you were an exchange student, although I did notice it depended on where they came from. The Mexican kid hung out with my friend group, as did one of the German girls, and the Swiss guy (because his host family was one of my good friends), but the Mexican guy was not always treated kindly by other kids. But I don't think those 3 Mexican kids were there by the end of the year....I just don't remember.
I'm not sure about my grandma's parenting...mom's dad died when she was 2, so she mostly didn't have a father. But her 2 brothers were teenagers, so the oldest filled that role a bit before he went off to fight in WWII. But being the 50s when my mom was a teenager, I don't think she really had much freedom until she was an adult. But her mom got cancer and my mom was her caregiver until my grandmother died, and my mom was in her 20s. I think most of her parenting was just a result of the time period in which she was raised. Girls were supposed to be polite, conservative, mild mannered. I wouldn't say she was a proponent of arranged marriages, but I think she thought parents should definitely have the final say in whether a couple could get married. And I think she thought at least with a daughter, the girl should live at home and her parents would have authority until the woman got married and her husband took over that role. It was just a very old fashioned view. But since both of her parents had passed by the time she was in her 20s, she never really had to answer to a parent, and I don't think it occured to her that I wouldn't answer to her if she were still living. She saw it as her right as my parent to have authority over me, even if I was an adult. My high school math teacher predicted that I would go wild in college, partying and drinking all the time, possible failing out, because I was so sheltered in high school. That didn't happen. I think I went to a total of 2 parties given by my friends in my 5 years of college, one of which I went into a bedroom and took a nap. I just wasn't a partier and I don't like most alcohol. But I think my mom was parenting out of fear. She was scared of what "could happen to me" as a girl. She had different rules for my brother, because she said not as much could happen to him. I disagree with that, but I think it was just an irrational fear she had, that she just got incredibly anxious when I was out of her sight. So her rules were meant to keep me as unattractive to predators as possible, and keep me from being exposed to anyone who could ever mean harm. I'm sure she did it out of love, but it wasn't rational, nor was it remotely reasonable.
HouCuseChickie
Well-Known Member
I always think it's interesting how I grew up in NY metro and had far less diversity in my school than someone living in a small town in Wyoming. Mind you, there was lots of diversity nearby in more urban areas that fed into some of our activities but not so much in our little bubble.
There's definitely something to be said for different people and personalities. I remember seeing people around us during my dorm years that had no interest in parties, bars, etc. I don't know if any grew up with parents like your mom, but it was just so foreign to me...and I didn't have those kinds of parental restrictions. Whatever her reasons, at least you were able to break free and find what was best for you.
HouCuseChickie
Well-Known Member
So, I guess this is the start of Week 19.
I still haven't strayed from my weekly weigh in or basic scale. Last week I was down another 6 pounds though. So, I am guessing making the shift to measuring and tracking calories is behind a lot of this recent success. I guess there is a lot of truth to not just eyeballing things. I also invested in a couple new pairs of compression exercise leggings. While everything I own still fits and isn't falling off of me, it now has to be hiked up so high that it's right at the bustline. The new ones are a size smaller and hit me more at the waist, as they should.
I was worried about weather and gym hours, so I made yesterday my break day. I still got in a nice and casual 4 mile walk to remain active. Gym days are progressively becoming more intense. Most days I'm pushing myself to five sets of everything vs. three. Many days I'm boosting my reps from 10 to 12 or 15. I'm also trying to push myself each time to lift a little bit more. In some cases, I can only handle a little bit more but in others, I've found that I can go an extra 20-40 pounds if I put my mind to it.
I'm also dealing with some tummy issues again this week. I tried that Halo Top again even though I suspected it impacted my tummy last week. I have been a wreck today after eating it yesterday. So, I think that's a solid no-go going forward. It's too bad as it was a nice low cal treat but it's not worth this discomfort. David seems like he's getting fed up with my eating even though we went out for his birthday on Friday and I was able to find a good option that also kept me on track. I'm honestly getting fed up with him not caring about himself. As much as I appreciate that he's never been the kind of guy to pull away when I've gained weight, I think his refusal to do anything healthy and his high tendency to mock me for trying is part of my problem. He made a roast for Easter and in one breath, he's telling me it's super lean...in the next he's talking to Sam about all of the grease in the gravy due to the high fat content of the meat. He mocks what I'm eating, saying at least he consumes tasty food, yet he's got numerous days per week where he's consuming 4000-5000 calories with minimal physical activity. He is hitting the gym a few days a week but not doing anything even remotely close to make up for his poor diet. I'll spare you some of the other ick factors and annoyances for me, but I'm trying to stay strong and do this for me while tuning out his toxicity in the process. Ugh!
I still haven't strayed from my weekly weigh in or basic scale. Last week I was down another 6 pounds though. So, I am guessing making the shift to measuring and tracking calories is behind a lot of this recent success. I guess there is a lot of truth to not just eyeballing things. I also invested in a couple new pairs of compression exercise leggings. While everything I own still fits and isn't falling off of me, it now has to be hiked up so high that it's right at the bustline. The new ones are a size smaller and hit me more at the waist, as they should.
I was worried about weather and gym hours, so I made yesterday my break day. I still got in a nice and casual 4 mile walk to remain active. Gym days are progressively becoming more intense. Most days I'm pushing myself to five sets of everything vs. three. Many days I'm boosting my reps from 10 to 12 or 15. I'm also trying to push myself each time to lift a little bit more. In some cases, I can only handle a little bit more but in others, I've found that I can go an extra 20-40 pounds if I put my mind to it.
I'm also dealing with some tummy issues again this week. I tried that Halo Top again even though I suspected it impacted my tummy last week. I have been a wreck today after eating it yesterday. So, I think that's a solid no-go going forward. It's too bad as it was a nice low cal treat but it's not worth this discomfort. David seems like he's getting fed up with my eating even though we went out for his birthday on Friday and I was able to find a good option that also kept me on track. I'm honestly getting fed up with him not caring about himself. As much as I appreciate that he's never been the kind of guy to pull away when I've gained weight, I think his refusal to do anything healthy and his high tendency to mock me for trying is part of my problem. He made a roast for Easter and in one breath, he's telling me it's super lean...in the next he's talking to Sam about all of the grease in the gravy due to the high fat content of the meat. He mocks what I'm eating, saying at least he consumes tasty food, yet he's got numerous days per week where he's consuming 4000-5000 calories with minimal physical activity. He is hitting the gym a few days a week but not doing anything even remotely close to make up for his poor diet. I'll spare you some of the other ick factors and annoyances for me, but I'm trying to stay strong and do this for me while tuning out his toxicity in the process. Ugh!
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
Did you have so little diversity then? Like....less than 5% other than white? That's wild to me if that's true. Obviously I don't know exactly where you lived, but I guess I think of our tiny little town as having no diversity. It wasn't until I got to college that I was exposed to any real diversity. There was no one in my town who was "out" for example....not when I lived there anyway. There were no Muslims as far as I know, and I don't even know if there was anyone Jewish....it was pretty much Christian, and largely LDS as far as that goes. We HAD other churches, but they were all pretty small, and for the most part, people just joined whatever was available that was similar to what they grew up with. There was no Lutheran church, and my mom had grown up Missouri Synod Lutheran, so she actually started an LCMS church in our town. When it started, it was a handful of families that met at someone's house every week because there was no church building and the congregation was too small to afford its own building. When I was around 3 or 4, they bought a trailer house and we had services there, and then I don't remember when they broke ground on the building they had built. They ended up selling that building to the Episcopal church several years ago because there weren't enough LCMS members left to keep it going, so they all travel to Gillette now. But that's the extent of the "diversity".
Well, E is a lot like me. She's not interested in partying or drinking, doesn't drink even when she gets together with her friends who are drinking. I'm not at all like my mom. I've always told her that of course we'd rather she not get in trouble for drinking under age, we understand peer pressure, and we trust her to be responsible if she DOES drink. Don't drive if you even have only one drink....call us and we'll come get you. Don't get in a car with anyone who had been drinking. If at any time you feel unsafe, for ANY reason, call us, we'll come get you. And the only time she ever felt unsafe that she really wanted to leave was when she was in Italy on the exchange week and there was no way we could go get her. (Her host sister was not happy that she wanted to leave. She was a huge partier.) Her friend group never had alcohol at their parties until they were over 18, except one, and he held 2 birthday parties....one for the drinkers and one for the non-drinkers, so no one ever felt pressured to drink. So E has always had the freedom if she wanted it, but it's just not her thing. Her student organization at university does events with parties and she just doesn't go to those.
Songbird76
Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry that the ice cream is a no-go. Do they sweeten it with Maltitol or whatever it is? I have sugar free chocolate and gummies sweetened with that and you really have to limit your intake because it can upset your stomach a lot, but if I only eat a little, I'm fine.
That's really mean to ridicule you for your diet!! Is he jealous of your dedication or progress? Is he trying to sabbotage it because he's not as good at it? I think that's a pretty common thing. I get upset that I work so much harder than my husband, but it's so much easier for him to lose weight. My husband doesn't exercise at all. So when I'm walking a few miles every day and also eating low carb and he's eating a less healthy diet than me and not exercising but he still maintains his weight, or he loses a ton by just cutting down a LITTLE, it's really frustrating. But I try not to sabbotage him and I don't comment on what he's eating. I'm sorry you have to tune all that out.