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The Budget Cuts Joke Thread
- Thread starter Matt_Black
- Start date
slappy magoo
Well-Known Member
Well sure, they're taking up space other paying hairs might use and they're not even buying anything.
Goofyernmost
Well-Known Member
Due to budget restraints a visit to WDW will require:
Two year advance reservations including the requirement to stay in a Disney Resort.**
All payments are payable immediately, if not sooner.
As a Guest Service it has been determined that actually showing up on property is no longer allowed. As soon as your reserved time arrives, Disney will send a DVD showing all the attractions for all the parks. Footage will show long lines and have an attached system that generates heat and emit a strong armpit odor. Disney emphatically feels that by doing this they will save the Guest huge amounts of travel and wardrobe expense as well as helping balance the budget for P & R. By doing this you can visit at your leisure, no Fastpasses are required and you can eliminate the constant unpredictable meltdown created by over tired children and adults.
For a small additional fee, they will also include a short film film of the Food and Wine festival and scenes from Drinking around the world and, of course, the scent of vomit in the air.
** The FREE dining plan has been omitted, but, payment for the dining plan will be included in the cost at the time of reservation. Again for a small fee they will send you a list of items that your dining plan would include if you were allowed to be there.
Two year advance reservations including the requirement to stay in a Disney Resort.**
All payments are payable immediately, if not sooner.
As a Guest Service it has been determined that actually showing up on property is no longer allowed. As soon as your reserved time arrives, Disney will send a DVD showing all the attractions for all the parks. Footage will show long lines and have an attached system that generates heat and emit a strong armpit odor. Disney emphatically feels that by doing this they will save the Guest huge amounts of travel and wardrobe expense as well as helping balance the budget for P & R. By doing this you can visit at your leisure, no Fastpasses are required and you can eliminate the constant unpredictable meltdown created by over tired children and adults.
For a small additional fee, they will also include a short film film of the Food and Wine festival and scenes from Drinking around the world and, of course, the scent of vomit in the air.
** The FREE dining plan has been omitted, but, payment for the dining plan will be included in the cost at the time of reservation. Again for a small fee they will send you a list of items that your dining plan would include if you were allowed to be there.
Due to budget cuts your Disney Visa Rewards card by Chase is no longer accepted. Much like Disney Dollars, the Disney reward dollars are no longer accepted.
Only cash will now be accepted but it has a premium charge of 4 dollars to one for a "counting processing" fee.
Magic Bands will also not be accepted but look forward to five more color releases over the next 20 years as they become vinylmation carriers. Now you can show off your badly interpreted Disney character knick knacks wherever you go.
Only cash will now be accepted but it has a premium charge of 4 dollars to one for a "counting processing" fee.
Magic Bands will also not be accepted but look forward to five more color releases over the next 20 years as they become vinylmation carriers. Now you can show off your badly interpreted Disney character knick knacks wherever you go.
JohnHangen
Active Member
Due to budget cuts, the turkey leg will now be a turkey toe.
donaldtoo
Well-Known Member
^^^ LOL, all of these posts are too funny!
Due to budget cuts, there will be no celebration for Magic Kingdom's 45th Anniversary. Instead, we are giving you an amazing opportunity to purchase all of this special 45th Anniversary merchandise.
We even created this magical Youtube unboxing video, just for you -- at no extra cost.
Magic Kingdom 45th Anniversary's slogan: "You can just skip Disney World this year, if you don't plan on buying any of this *stuff*."
Due to budget cuts, there will be no celebration for Magic Kingdom's 45th Anniversary. Instead, we are giving you an amazing opportunity to purchase all of this special 45th Anniversary merchandise.
We even created this magical Youtube unboxing video, just for you -- at no extra cost.
Magic Kingdom 45th Anniversary's slogan: "You can just skip Disney World this year, if you don't plan on buying any of this *stuff*."
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DisneyManOne
Well-Known Member
Due to budget cuts, we will be closing "Walt Disney: One Man's Dream". In its place will be a tribute to our current CEO, Bob Iger, and the entire team responsible for all these budget cuts. In addition, we will also be replacing the Partners statue with a statue of Bob Iger and Elsa. You're welcome.
Plus, I once saw this April Fools' Day article on Yesterland, and I'm pretty sure it's just one big "Due to budget cuts" joke. Read for yourselves: http://www.yesterland.com/disneyparks.html
Plus, I once saw this April Fools' Day article on Yesterland, and I'm pretty sure it's just one big "Due to budget cuts" joke. Read for yourselves: http://www.yesterland.com/disneyparks.html
IMFearless
Well-Known Member
A new all night up-charge behind the scenes tour overnight event starting in the former Wonders of Life Pavilion. Adults $219 (not including tax or gratuity) Children $239 (including souvenir vinylmation of Bob Iger)
Features of the tour will include:
7pm - An in depth question and answer session about all the latest rumours and news going on in the resort, led by a team of overseas bus drivers (who will be flown in especially for the event from Shanghai Disneyland). This is both to save on labour costs in the US parks and at the same time pay tribute to Walt's vision of a global community.
9pm - Guests will next have a chance to buy "limited magic" merchandise in celebration of the new overseas resorts exciting attractions. Guests will be encouraged to capture the magic of this once in a lifetime event by taking to Instagram using the #thanksshanghai
12am - But that's not all, after the shopping fun is over, for an additional fee of $29 guests can join the Janitorial Team working the third shift over at Typhoon Lagoon, to help clean the vomit covered beaches following the newly announced Grad Nite after party.
6am - Finally, you will head over to ESPN for an additional "extra time" magic preview in which you will get the chance to watch a team of Brazillian 'Service Dogs' practicing for a yet to be announced Canine Cheerleading Competition in the newly built ESPN cheerleading stadium venue. This includes a pastry of your choice for $14.95 extra.
Resort transport will not be running from ESPN following this magical event and so guests will be encouraged to pay a participants fee of $18 to jog back to their resort.
Places are limited to DVC Members booking 30 months in advance.
Features of the tour will include:
7pm - An in depth question and answer session about all the latest rumours and news going on in the resort, led by a team of overseas bus drivers (who will be flown in especially for the event from Shanghai Disneyland). This is both to save on labour costs in the US parks and at the same time pay tribute to Walt's vision of a global community.
9pm - Guests will next have a chance to buy "limited magic" merchandise in celebration of the new overseas resorts exciting attractions. Guests will be encouraged to capture the magic of this once in a lifetime event by taking to Instagram using the #thanksshanghai
12am - But that's not all, after the shopping fun is over, for an additional fee of $29 guests can join the Janitorial Team working the third shift over at Typhoon Lagoon, to help clean the vomit covered beaches following the newly announced Grad Nite after party.
6am - Finally, you will head over to ESPN for an additional "extra time" magic preview in which you will get the chance to watch a team of Brazillian 'Service Dogs' practicing for a yet to be announced Canine Cheerleading Competition in the newly built ESPN cheerleading stadium venue. This includes a pastry of your choice for $14.95 extra.
Resort transport will not be running from ESPN following this magical event and so guests will be encouraged to pay a participants fee of $18 to jog back to their resort.
Places are limited to DVC Members booking 30 months in advance.
IMFearless
Well-Known Member
Love the merchandise un-boxing video!
Is the comment about "oversized mugs" a sly nod to today's park guest?
Hard to believe they have the nerve to release videos like this!
Goofyernmost
Well-Known Member
I'm thinking that it is legit and that is what is going to be available for the 45th. Everything that was shown would be something that Disney would do, so, like I said, I think it is true and not a joke.
This is so hilarious! Gosh, everything is detailed and outlined so neatly to where it's believable. Like, I can totally see Disney doing this. LOL.
It is funny. I don't think this is the kind of reaction Disney was looking for. LOL.
And, those mugs are huge -- thanks for pointing that out because I totally missed that and the sly nod. LOL.
Yes, the video is 100% legit.
This is just Disney taking a page out of the Apple playbook. But, they really need to look at what happened to JCPenney. I don't shop at JCPenney -- however, an Apple CEO almost ruined that store, it was all over the news.
The Apple guy took away all of the affordable value coupons and catalogs. He removed all the central registers in the newer stores and the clerks would walk around with the portable check out phones like at the Apple store. The problem with that is JCPenney is a huge department store and people could never find the clerks and search up and down to find one. I also heard some stores were changed into Apple white with a couple of garments laid out on the counters like cell phones. JCPenney lost a ton of money so they had to let him go.
The Apple guy didn't understand that JCPenney does *not* have a cult following like Apple. You will not find *anyone* lined up for days and sleeping outside on the curb for the latest pair of Arizona Brand jeans.
Disney has a cult following much like Apple but this is a vacation not a freaking cell phone. With that said, I bet this 45th Anniversary stuff is already on back order. LOL.
IMFearless
Well-Known Member
The problem with Cult followings is they often run out - never expect a craze to last because it inevitably won't.
Apple has been a very well managed craze since iPhone but they're riding the crest of a wave in my opinion.
I think Walt Disney World has also been very popular in the last decade with guests who have never been before, I think the issue for me is the conversion ratio from visitor:fan. Going back to the 80's and 90's everyone who visited pretty much loved it and wanted to return. I'm not sure such a high percentage fall in love with the place in the same way now.
Walt said it right with this quote...
“Well, I think by this time my staff are convinced that Walt is right. That quality will win out. And so I think they’re going to stay with that policy because it’s proved that it’s a good business policy. Give the people everything you can give them. Keep the place as clean as you can keep it. Keep it friendly, you know. Make it a real fun place to be. I think they’re convinced and I think they’ll hang on after… as you say… well… after Disney.” – Walt Disney
In my view while the standard of newly opened themed areas is as good as it has ever been, there is room for improvement in today's park management - maintenance, cleaning, operations, organisation, attention to show
This is where the company needs to return to a higher level, the previously unthemed Main Street Bypass went on for years as Standard Operating procedure, this was a disgrace in my opinion.
Anyway, I've high jacked the thread enough!
Hi @IMFearless! I really like your username, lol. Anyway, this is very well said and I totally agree.
What made me fall in love with Disney in the first place was their effortless ability to always under promise and over deliver in anything. Disney used to surprise me at every turn -- but a lot the unique stuff has been cut because everyone would find out about it and then make demands -- so all of the unique special stuff became unfeasible. With that said, there is still a lot of things at Disney World that I have yet to discover
The first time I rode Hollywood Tower of Terror I was totally blown away. I was excepting it to be like Cedar Point where you just go and down or something like that. I was not expecting the scenes in the dance hall and the theming all throughout which is amazing. Same thing with Splash Mountain -- after the big horrifying drop, I thought the ride was over. So, I was totally surprised by the extra part at the end. And Space Mountain too -- my favorite part is the end, I love seeing the robots, lol.
Okay, back to the topic. Right now, I am all budgeted out. Having to budget all the time is so miserable and exhausting, lol.
IMFearless
Well-Known Member
Thanks for your comments.
I agree with you 100%. I got quite offended once when I heard someone refer to Splash Mountain as "a log flume". To be honest, this is the difficulty upper management themselves face, they need to be aware of what makes "Splash Mountain" different to "a log flume".
If investors or those who are financing things need to be convinced, they should go back to the old system of imagineering going with a concept and the finance guys/girls working out how to fund it. The way Walt and Roy worked although risky was the reason we even have a Walt Disney World.
If Walt had taken advice he would not have gone ahead with Disneyland, the feedback from all involved was that it would be an epic fail.
BiffyClyro
Well-Known Member
Guys it's fine, the sickening car park pricing will make up for lost $$$ 
ShoalFox
Well-Known Member
- In the Parks
- Yes
What about AP holders who get free parking?Guys it's fine, the sickening car park pricing will make up for lost $$$