Wilderness Lodge is by far the most relaxed Deluxe resort in WDW. I am biased to WL due to the fact that it is the only deluxe resort I have stayed at.
WL is also the only deluxe we have stayed at. We love it so much I am not sure we will ever try anything else. But if we were to try out another place, I am pretty sure it would be the poly.
Polynesian has the best atmosphere of any resort in WDW! Beach Club is very nice but my biggest reason for enjoying it is its proximity to Epcot World Showcase...