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Wilderness Program Application Essay Feedback

Pongo

New Member
Original Poster
I don't normally do this, but this is really important to me, so why not...

I'm applying to a program at the University of Montana called "Wilderness and Civilization," that is basically a program where I learn about nature and ecology in a classroom, and then for 50+ days I go out into the wild and experience it all for myself. It's a year long. They only accept 25 students into the program.

It's also EXACTLY what I want to do with the rest of my life. The field work and ecology stuff, I mean. So it's really important to me.

I have to write three essays for the application, and I just want to run them by you all and ask, if you were on the board of people who reads applications, would you accept me? They pretty much accept people based solely on these essays...

Anyway, the first one asks the question, "Why do you want to participate in the Wilderness and Civilization program and what do you hope to gain from the experience?"

The essay:

There are many practical reasons why I would like to participate in the Wilderness and Civilization program, the most obvious of which being that it will prepare me for what I hope to be my future career. My interests lie in wildlife conservation, focusing on megafauna found in northwestern North America – elk, moose, wolves, and bears, for example. The Wilderness and Civilization program would not only prepare me for graduate-level field research, but it would also reassure my aspirations of becoming a tent-living, nature-loving conservationist. The days spent in the field would mimic the work I am pursuing as a career, and this foretaste of the rest of my life whets my appetite so fiercely that I feel as if the program was tailor-made for my future.

The writing aspect of the course also excites me, because, as a double major in Zoology and English, I wish also to become a writer specializing in the various aspects of nature. I want to write scientifically (for research journals and the like), but I’ve also noticed that I have a penchant for natural creative nonfiction in the style of Annie Dillard or Ed Abbey. If given the opportunity, I know that the Wilderness and Civilization program will hone and refine my ability to accurately portray nature and the environment as a separate identity worth learning about, caring about, and protecting.

But I don’t just want to portray nature as a separate identity in my writing; I also want to see nature as a separate identity in my everyday life. Most people today take nature for granted and don’t appreciate her as she should be appreciated. I do not want to be one of those people. In order to save nature, I need to have a deeper connection with nature. Attending a school in one of the nation’s largest cities doesn’t allow that. Living, studying, and working in the wilds of Montana – an area where I hope to spend the rest of my life – would open my eyes to the nature all around me and help me to feel that deeper connection with nature that I so desperately crave and so crucially require.




I haven't written the others yet. It took me a long time to write this one (the essay could only be one page long and I have a SERIOUS problem with essay limits). But when I get the others written, I'll put them up as well.

Thanks, everyone!!! :D
 

hcswingfield

Active Member
This looks good. I would change the first sentence, though, from:

"There are many practical reasons why I would like to participate in the Wilderness and Civilization program, the most obvious of which being that it will prepare me for what I hope to be my future career."

to:

"There are many reasons why participation in the Wilderness and Civilization is important to me. Most notably, this program will help prepare me for the career I plan to pursue upon completion of my education."

By the way, have you read "Prodigal Summer" by Barbara Kingsolver? I bet you would love it.
 

Pongo

New Member
Original Poster
This looks good. I would change the first sentence, though, from:

"There are many practical reasons why I would like to participate in the Wilderness and Civilization program, the most obvious of which being that it will prepare me for what I hope to be my future career."

to:

"There are many reasons why participation in the Wilderness and Civilization is important to me. Most notably, this program will help prepare me for the career I plan to pursue upon completion of my education."

Thanks :D

By the way, have you read "Prodigal Summer" by Barbara Kingsolver? I bet you would love it.

Nope. I'll add it to my reading list!
 

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