Where in the World Isn't Bob Saget?

Arthur Wellesley

Well-Known Member
So today I start major house cleaning - anyone want to help?
You know, I am actually going to accept your offer this time. The dawn of a new year has made me realize that we are put here on earth to make it a better place. And what better way to make it better than to assist our fellow man, woman, and child in times of need. So yes, I will gladly help you clean your house this day. At the infancy of 2016, I have awakened as a new man, eager to do my best and give my best. A man of service; of selfless ambitions; who aims to put others' needs before my very own. Your lasting friendship shall not go unrewarded, dear fish of orange. This day you will see your undying kindness and good deeds returned in fashion of house-cleaning frenzy by yours truly. No table will be left unpolished. No shelf left undusted. No crumb upon thine floor. Once I am finished, your place of dwelling shall look as immaculate as it was the day you purchased it. Rest easy, friend. Today you and your spouse shall seek solitude, leisure, and tranquility as I do the tough chores in preparation for your upcoming hiatus. Prepare yourselveses for a job-well-done like no house in need of cleaning as ever seen in days past. I am here for you. I am always here for you. Nothing will ever change that!

At least you're not Arthur Wellesley.
You can clean your own dang house.
 

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