Sorry, to hear that. My Grandfather died when I was less then 1 year old. I had no emotion for that one. Then in 1963 I lost both my grandmothers. One in February and one in August. I could write a book on what happened during the 24 hours vigil at the February passing, that comes with the wake being at home. I was fifteen at the time and in spite of feeling a loss, the things that happened were so weird, especially by the time that the third night got here that we spent most of the time finding everything funny. Including one grossly overweight Aunt that went to every wake just go get the free food. It lasted that long because another Aunt had to get to upper New York State from Kansas via train. Talk about exhausted. Then my last grandfather passed away in 1981. Since then I have lost all my Aunts, Uncles, 4 cousins, my father, my mother, a number of friends and even a number of clients that lived in my nursing home, and my X-wife. The older one gets the more it happens and our feelings alter with every one, depending on our connection to them. However, with each one we start to understand more that death is the ending part of life and is natural. It is unavoidable and all that those of us still left behind can do is look up and continue on. Sorry for your loss.