When your parent (or any parent) ruins an experience for you

[KBLovedDisney]

Our solution for the extended family travel situation is to usually meet somewhere to eat, lunch or dinner, and then go from there. If they want to do exactly what we are doing or we want to do exactly what they are doing great. If not then it was great seeing them for the day and then we can all go our separate ways. We establish this agreement before we leave on the trip and no one gets their feelings hurt.

Good point! The only downside is my mother will guilt the heck out of me and my siblings to do what she wants...but we do have the power to say "No". She just makes it really really REALLY difficult.

 

[danyoung56]

If they want to do exactly what we are doing or we want to do exactly what they are doing great. If not then it was great seeing them for the day and then we can all go our separate ways.

This sounds incredibly wise!

 

[TXDisney]

Have you ever tried to get an overstimulated but incredibly tired preschooler to take a nap in a "quieter area" of the park? Even the long ride on the bus and trek back to the room is less torture than trying to get him/ her to fall asleep in the park. Sometimes it's not even just about getting the some sleep but allowing the child some time away from all of the stimulation the parks offer.

Like I stated if that's hard for a parent to do then I get that. But as someone with no kids that travels some trips with my family with kids, it's very rude to expect people without kids to "not do too much while your gone" to put a baby or child down for a nap outside of the park. Can't have the best of both worlds. If you don't want to miss out on stuff than don't leave the park to take a nap.

 

[Brad Bishop]

Another one:

Back when I turned 40 I met my mom, cousin, sister, and was supposed to take my daughter before my ex said she couldn't go met at WDW.

My sister and cousin? Completely OK. They get it. We'll do what we want to do and if our plans diverge then we'll just meet back up later.

My mom? Drove me freaking nuts.

A guy who's turned 40 knows how to dress himself. The entire time she'd look at me and ask idiot questions like, "Aren't you cold?," "Don't you think you should be wearing a jacket?," "Doesn't that shirt make you too hot?" Just that typically little nit-picky stuff that only mom's do.

She also wanted us all to sit at the train station all day and "people watch" and watch the parades. I flat out told her, "I didn't come to the MK to sit on a bench and watch parades all day - I'm going to go do stuff."

Also, she was slow as molasses while walking around. You may think, "oh, that's because she's old." Nope. As soon as the park was closed we all had problems keeping up with her on the race to the car. Each night was like that.

Oh, my mom also has the habit of showing up to eat and then shrugging her shoulders at the end with, "I can't afford this." Being the only guy in the group, I'm very upfront about saying, "I'm only paying for me. I'm not saying I won't buy you a sandwich or a drink from time to time, but it's up to you to pay for you." At the same time, had my mom just said, sometime beforehand, "Hey.. Dinner is coming up tonight and I can't afford it, can we switch our plans or can you cover for me and I'll pay you back?," I'd have said, "Don't worry, mom, I'll cover you," or, "Yeah.. We can just go to Subway - no biggie." To do it at the end of dinner and just shrug your shoulders at it isn't cool to me.

Not a good time.

I no longer go with anyone but my daughters, grandson, or maybe my sister.

 

[KBLovedDisney]

Not sure what is was with my parents, but we NEVER stopped for a parade and I love parades. Thank goodness my hubby loves Disney just as much as I do and we got to see one of the last MSEP performances in WDW, and now if there is a parade and we feel like we need a break, we stop and watch.

 

[danyoung56]

My mom? Drove me freaking nuts.

One of my fondest memories of my mother was a visit to DL, just her and me, about a year before she died. I decided at the beginning of the day that we were gonna take it slow, at her pace. She really wanted to ride Dumbo, and the look of her beaming face as the little elephant whirled her around is a memory I'll enjoy for years.

Sorry you had such a bad time, Brad.

 

[21stamps]

Every time we went to Orlando we went to some crappy amusement park like Fun Spot USA or Old Town instead of Disney or Universal because they're "Boring", (They could of easily afford to go if they wanted too.) Father and my 2 brothers never wanted to leave the house or do anything new at all, so at age 14 my Mom started taking Me, Her Sister, And the sister's daughter to Disney Every year. And then my Father accused my mother of replacing the Family vacation.

Let's just say there marriage wasn't successful.

Omg I love Fun Spot though!!!!

Always have a great time there.. but seriously it's easily more expensive than an added day on a WDW ticket.. and if you add the Slingshot and Volmatron at Old Town, then you've far exceeded the cost of a one day ticket at WDW.

 

[Brad Bishop]

One of my fondest memories of my mother was a visit to DL, just her and me, about a year before she died. I decided at the beginning of the day that we were gonna take it slow, at her pace. She really wanted to ride Dumbo, and the look of her beaming face as the little elephant whirled her around is a memory I'll enjoy for years.

Sorry you had such a bad time, Brad.

Some people have great parents. Not everyone does. My dad was a jerk. Not to get into it here but when he died I didn't bother to go to his funeral. My mom is a PITA in another type of way. I get zero out of that relationship. There's not some great wisdom that she bestows upon me or some great motherly care. Dealing with her is just a barrage of guilt, nosiness, , etc. Instead of just being a mom who you'd like to hang out with she's a mom who expects you to "visit" which amounts to me sitting on the couch waiting for the weekend to end while she's in her bedroom on the phone with her friend whom she talks to everyday. She doesn't want to hang with me, she just wants me "nearby" for some inexplicable reason.

I've told her this quite a few times over the years that these are problems that need to be dealt with. Each time I'd call it was just more of the same. I finally stopped bothering with her. She's far worse to my sister (treats her like absolute crap) and my sister tries to help her out constantly. My sister and I've have spoken about it and we agree that we get nothing out of our relationship with her. It sucks. You'd like to think that you have a great relationship with your parents but, the reality is we (my sister and I) never did. She just feels an obligation to my mom and I arrived at: I don't care. If you were anyone else in the world without that thin strand of "mom" connecting us, I'd have nothing to do with you.. Eventually that strand was broken by her.

That's me, though. If you have a great time with your parents then, by all means, go do stuff with them!

Interestingly, my daughters (24yo & 31yo) have hung out and done a lot of things over the years - far more than I ever thought would happen (concerts, sporting events, hiking, local events, theme parks, etc.). I really thought that once they were out of the house I'd only be seen on obligatory holidays. At the same time, I try to do stuff with them and don't bother bugging them to come over "just to be there" (sit on my couch). If they're coming over we're having a cookout with beer! We're doing something. It's not obligatory, it's because they want to be there.

I've always told them: Never come over because you think you have to. That's going to suck for both of us. I don't want you there if you don't want to be there.

 

[KBLovedDisney]

Instead of just being a mom who you'd like to hang out with she's a mom who expects you to "visit" which amounts to me sitting on the couch waiting for the weekend to end while she's in her bedroom on the phone with her friend whom she talks to everyday. She doesn't want to hang with me, she just wants me "nearby" for some inexplicable reason.

I've told her this quite a few times over the years that these are problems that need to be dealt with. Each time I'd call it was just more of the same.

Your mother and mine would make good besties.

Sorry you have to deal with this, but please know that if she is unwilling to address her own issues, then she is not going to hear it from anyone else.

Swear you could tell her that she needed help until you were blue in the face but she isn't going to hear because she doesn't want to (I can relate)

 

[danyoung56]

Some people have great parents. Not everyone does.

I certainly wasn't trying to rub anything in your face. I had pretty cool parents. They're both gone now, but I was very lucky to have 'em.

 

[pilka214]

I feel so bad for some of your stories... I was really fortunate and my parents have always been great... They only have one running pet peeve which still irks me to this day. My family is notorious for sleeping in, and then my parents always have some work to do (my father is always on the phone with his office) before we go out, even on vacations. So we'll have days at disney where we won't leave our hotel till 1 or 2 in the afternoon and still need to get lunch, then everyone gets upset because we aren't able to get to everything we had planned. It happens on every vacation.

 

[KBLovedDisney]

I sincerely apologize if this topic has triggered a few here. Sometimes the past is very hard to bring up.

 

[KBLovedDisney]

I feel so bad for some of your stories... I was really fortunate and my parents have always been great... They only have one running pet peeve which still irks me to this day. My family is notorious for sleeping in, and then my parents always have some work to do (my father is always on the phone with his office) before we go out, even on vacations. So we'll have days at disney where we won't leave our hotel till 1 or 2 in the afternoon and still need to get lunch, then everyone gets upset because we aren't able to get to everything we had planned. It happens on every vacation.

That would have driven me crazy!

 

[Brad Bishop]

Your mother and mine would make good besties.

Sorry you have to deal with this, but please know that if she is unwilling to address her own issues, then she is not going to hear it from anyone else.

Swear you could tell her that she needed help until you were blue in the face but she isn't going to hear because she doesn't want to (I can relate)

My sister wants me to call her just so my sister doesn't hear, "Have you heard from Brad?" everytime she deals with her. I tell my sister, "You don't have to accept that. You can tell her to bug off.."

Everytime I think about calling my mom I land on: My day will be better if I don't deal with her.

 

[Brad Bishop]

I certainly wasn't trying to rub anything in your face. I had pretty cool parents. They're both gone now, but I was very lucky to have 'em.

Oh, I didn't take it that way. I'm glad you, and other, have great parents. People should have great parents!

The point I was mainly trying to get across is that most people think their parents are great. It's ingrained into you as a kid. Not everyone has great parents, though. Some people realize that. Too many don't and put up with just needless crap and BS. I'm not talking about the odd mistake parents make. They're humans, not angels. I'm talking about parents that regularly make their kids' life worse. You (general) don't have to put up with that. You don't owe them anything.

To those of you with great parents: Enjoy them. Treasure them. They'll be gone one day but those memories will remain.

 

[hanwill]

My parents hover. I'm an only child and that is what they do. And they are talkers.... If you get in line with us, or in our car on the monorail, I'm sorry... If you are a warm body they will find something to say to you. Every year, my mom meets someone from England-Every freaking year... It's a riot. It becomes a joke. One year, we rode Soarin' while she waited (too wild of a ride for her,lol) and when we got out she had met one of Prince Charles' security detail. It was the icing on the cake... Another year, we came of space mountain and she was waiting inside on a bench. She was sitting next to this lady on a bench, and oddly enough, was not talking to this lady. When we walked away, I asked her why she wasn't talking to that lady... my mom was exasperated," She only speaks Portuguese!" We all laughed... Now, we have watched them enough to see how they are going to start talking and we try to head them off at the pass... We try- so sorry if you get next to my parents on the train.

 

[pupster]

I got screamed at for wearing flip flops to walk to the pool. because how dare I ruin £1 crappy shoes by using them for their intended purpose.

I also caught them laughing at me for being fat , when I got out of the pool to rinse under the shower. I was 14 I wish I looked that fat now

 

[Elfinko]

We never visited wdw as kids. We were pretty poor. I am taking notes though, so we don't put our kid through any of this craziness , lol.

 

[Brad Bishop]

I got screamed at for wearing flip flops to walk to the pool. because how dare I ruin £1 crappy shoes by using them for their intended purpose.

I also caught them laughing at me for being fat , when I got out of the pool to rinse under the shower. I was 14 I wish I looked that fat now

My dad used to regularly make fun of my sister for being fat. Calling her "Thunder Thighs" and all that.

 

[ImperfectPixie]

The only thing I recall from my first visit to WDW in 1989 is my mother and father complaining about my hair. Mind you my dad had a military cut and my mother's hair was so short that she looked like a man, but somehow my long, straight hair was an issue. I specifically recall waiting for Kitchen Kabaret to begin and my parents spent the whole time making fun of me, telling me I had no self respect due to the way I looked and that I was ugly. They told me I should stay away from them because I clearly did not care about myself. I sat there crying, trying to figure out why my parents would do something like that in public. People around us were telling my parents they were cruel and one lady put her hand on my shoulder and told me I was "beautiful" and to not listen to them. We spent three days at WDW and the only thing I can recall from that trip was the nonstop bullying I endured from the time I awoke until the time I went to sleep. I honestly do not recall riding any other ride on our trip other than Horizons where I heard I looked my "best" because we were in the dark. Now as a parent we take our children every year and I admit, only here, that I think about that 1989 trip repeatedly while there.

I want to shake your parents and ask what the hell is wrong with them! My mother is uber critical too, and that kind of stuff has a cumulative effect...she still has the ability to get under my skin like that sometimes. I'm so sorry they did that to you!