Ugh, any advice?

[lilclerk]

So I'm leaving for my first solo trip on Wednesday and I am SO excited to get the chance to explore the parks on my own (aside from one morning of the KttK tour.) I've kinda been keeping quiet about this trip as (I know, this is weird) I don't want to run into anyone I know down there and end up spending most of my time with them. This happened on my solo trip to Disneyland and, while it was nice to see an old friend, I had wanted to spend some time by myself.

Well, one of my boyfriend's co-workers caught wind that I'm going next week and he will be in Orlando with some of his friends. He just wrote on my facebook asking if I wanted to hang out at all.
I don't.
I feel so bad saying no, but at the same time I really just want to be by myself and not feel like I'm holding anyone up when I stop to take 100 random pictures. And it's not like I'll never see this guy again, I see him all the time.

Any advice for how to let him down gently? I'm thinking I'll tell him I have a lot of tours and reservations to work around (which I do) but maybe we can meet up for fireworks one night?

 

[Hakunamatata]

You could always try the reliable "meeting up for fireworks and then not finding him and his friends in the crowd" routine....

....and your cellphone went dead....

 

[Hakunamatata]

I've been considering deleting my facebook and this may be what does it for me :lol:

Anyway, he's not really a friend. He's my boyfriend's co-worker (who neither of us really likes that much, but hey we're nice people) and we chat when I drop off/pick the boy up from work (we share a car.) I don't want to make it awkward, but I also don't particularly want this guy and his friends to try to come hang out after the parks close as well.
I did tell him my days were pretty planned out but that we could meet up for fireworks. Let's see how this goes without him asking me to give him my cell phone number :lol:

Um, he is a friend of your BF who you dont really care for. I think "thanks but no thanks" would be an adequate response.

 

[tampabrad]

Grow a set and be honest. You have other things to do, you want to take it slow and take a hundred pictures, you want to be alone.

If you can't do that, then enjoy spending time with someone you say you don't really like cause you are nice people.

 

[amykissangel]

I absolutely think you have the right to do what you want - and think it's nice of you to say hi to a friend while there. Absolutely tell him the only night you have open is "insert fireworks night" and if he can make it, it would be great to see him then - otherwise you're booked. Good for you for sticking to your plans - have a blast!

 

[DABIGCHEEZ]

I think compromise is not the most appropriate word since there is no obligation what so ever to even acknowledge that this other person will be in WDW at the same time. You should not feel obligated to make arrangements to meet. But im one of those types of people who could care less what other people think of me......just the way Im wired.....:shrug:

I am with you on this Hakuna. Do what you want... it is your vacation.

 

[Ziffman]

If this person truly is a friend, then just be honest. Tell him exactly what you said out here on the forums:


"Hey, Bob, thanks for the invite; I appreciate it. I'm actually really excited about exploring the parks on my own. I need some down time. I really need some time by myself. How about meeting up after our trips?"

Do not feel badly about saying no. It's perfectly okay to tell someone "no thank you." Not to get all Oprah on you, but the sooner you learn to do this in life, the happier you will be.

Totally agree with this response! :sohappy:

 

[Jarissa]

I fourth the people who're advising you to give this guy neither a part of your trip nor an excuse (or trick, like "phone is off") for not taking him up on it. The heart and soul of manners is to not make a scene, so saying "Thank you, no thanks" with a follow-up if he presses of either "I have other plans" or "It just doesn't work for me" is the best route: you won't be leaving an imaginary door open for something that isn't going to happen, but you're not making that his fault or anyone's fault.

Since you already said you'd be willing to meet up for fireworks, I'd say keep your word ... but don't go a millimeter farther. He may not have your cell number, and if he asks for it, give him a VERY strange look and then change the subject. Like the look people gave the rude stepsister when toads and snakes fell out of her mouth every time she spoke.

Don't ditch him for the fireworks, though: he'll spend the entire show trying to find you, instead of enjoying it, and getting more and more frustrated or worried! If you're that uncomfortable around him, tell him NOW that you've gotten a closer look at your itinerary and meeting for fireworks just isn't going to work out, thanks anyway for the offer.

I've got a sibling that I have to do that sort of thing with. I love my baby brother, really I do, but if I give him an excuse like "weak signal" then he responds by giving me five ways to boost my signal. (Two of which will cost ME money, another one of which voids my warranty, a fourth of which adds bulk to my phone, and the last one consists of "drop what you're doing and make sure you're standing somewhere that DOES have service, so I can get hold of you between the hours of Blah and Blah O'Clock!".) He does this to other people, too: an excuse is just an obstacle to be solved. An unadorned "no" is all he can understand and not take personally.

And bear in mind, you owe this guy nothing beyond civil courtesy, no more than you owe any complete stranger. He's not your boyfriend, he's not your friend, he's not your colleague, he's just a stranger whose name you happen to know. Why does he want to spend time with his co-worker's girlfriend, anyway?

 

[UberPlannerMom]

I just realized that in my previous response I never pointed out that my point to him maybe inviting you to be nice is that he may not really WANT you to say yes. I am sure it will work out fine. If you are really looking for something that might help him understand you mean to be alone just plain tell him you won't be good company. No one spending 20 minutes taking 500 pictures of a Goofy statue is good company to someone not doing the same! Enjoy!