Trip with our 3 year old, please help!

[DisneyDreamer08]

Hi everyone, first off, this is really long so I apologize in advance. I am looking for advice regarding a trip we currently have planned for our 3 1/2 year old daughter.
About a year ago, my husband and I starting talking about planning our daughters 1st trip. In our initial discussions, we were actually leaning towards Disneyland. It's smaller, less overwhelming, and we liked the idea of our hotel room being a quick 10 minute walk away (compared to WDW where you wait for a bus for 20 minutes, take 30 minute bus ride etc)
So last summer, we took a short 2 day trip to a local amusement park & stayed over night in a hotel. Our daughter was 2 1/2 at the time and she did AMAZING. She loved the rides, was great waiting in line and we had the best weekend. After that, we decided that she probably could handle a trip to WDW. We booked a trip for this November, our daughter will be almost 4.
Fast forward to this past weekend. We took a trip with our now 3 1/2 year old to the same amusement park. This time, she did terrible. The whole weekend was one meltdown after another. The biggest issue we had was after waiting 15 or 20 minutes for a ride, if she didn't get the color car she wanted, or didn't get to sit where she wanted, she threw an all out, yelling & screaming fit and refused to get on the ride. This happened several times despite us explaining that she did not get to choose. The whole weekend was just one disaster after another.
Needless to say, we are now regretting our Disney trip. I guess I am just looking for advice or encouragement. Our last Disney trip was 5 years ago so we are not one of those families that can afford to go every year. This is a special event that we have worked hard for. Our deposit is paid & our flight is paid.
Our choices are- stick with the plan & hope it goes well. Try to change our trip to Disneyland and hope the smaller scale will be less stress for all of us. Or, try to push the trip back. I'm really stressed & worried. Any help is appreciated. Thank you!

 

[wdisneyw2000]

Well i have taken both of my DD at that age & first off yuou will have meltdowns. I would stick to the trip, & my advise take a toy or play a game while speinding the time in line. Or try to get fast pass, that may help you not wait as long. Maybe youll have to take her to the room for naps also hard to tell. You mite also not have problems at all this time. Explain to her also sometimes you mite not get a specific color of the ride car, but it will be great to just experience the ride.depending when you go also i'd suggest if it's going to be hot, get a cooler spray fan bottle, my DS who is 20 mo. loved it when we was there in July. My DD's also loved them. So basicly find something that may keep her busy & maybe not notice the waits. Good luck

 

[MichWolv]

Both of our kids made multiple trips to WDW and DL before they were 5. They did great on every trip except that my older boy had one melt-down laden trip when he was 2 1/2. Didn't want to wait in line, was overwhelmed by the effects and sounds in dark rides, wouldn't eat, slept poorly, was scared of characters. It was a one-time event though. Every other trip, with either boy, at ages from 6 months to (now) 11 years, both were great, even on less sleep than usual, with more walking than usual, etc.

So hope for the best, but be ready to deal with the worst. That could mean a few days where you spend a lot of time at the hotel, just swimming. Or walking around DAK looking at animal (even on the bad trip, my guy was fine in the quiet sections of DAK), or taking in street entertainment at Epcot, or riding TTA over and over, seeing consecutive performances of Disney Junior Live on Stage, spending an inordinate amount of time Diggin in Dinoland or riding the Magic Carpets, or whatever it takes. It's hard to forgo the headliners when you don't get to go very often, but I have found that, in those trips where I go slower for a tired (but not crabby) child, I sometimes see things that I wish I had seen before. And there are so many different kinds of activities at WDW that you can eventually find something that fits your daughter's mood.

And Disneyland wouldn't be a great help, I don't think. That park is positively claustrophobic when it gets busy (less so DCA). And while lines at WDW often have something to do and look at (big change from local amusement park, I bet), lines at DL...not so much.

 

[CAPTAIN HOOK]

Only one experience with kids that young at WDW. One her first trip, my eldest at almost 5 enjoyed everything that she faced. Her sister on the other hand, at just under 2, enjoyed the few rides that she could do, but was scared silly whenever any of the characters came close.
Kids are like people - they either enjoy it or they don't. If they don't, they'll let you know in their own manner (no matter how annoying that may be)

 

[Jeannemccabe]

I have taken my DD3 every 6 months since she was 1-1/2. Bubbles have been my lifesaver while standing in line and light sticks at night. I have even brought her a small tambourine for waiting for the parade. The dollar store has a lot of cute things to keep them occupied. I would not cancel. It is a magical age to be at Disney. Good luck.

 

[Gomer]

My biggest suggestion to you would be to push any thoughts of how much it costs out of your mind (I know, at Disney prices this is difficult) and concentrate on enjoying what you can when you can. I’ve taken both my children when they were 3. One has autism, so if you imagine those quirks about getting particular car colors and having long wait times and amp them up to a multiple of ten, you will know what I was dealing with. And we had no major issues.

The key, is listening to what the child wants. If they are tired and cranky, go back to the hotel. Don’t think about how much every minute of park ticket is costing, just do it as the rest of the trip will be happier for it. If your kid loves the carousel, just embrace it and ride it 3 times in a row. Getting that sort of peak experience out of a no wait ride like that will make it easier for your child to enjoy whatever is next, and can act as a fall back to restore calm if they things start to go south.

If it’s hot, consider spending a half hour just sitting in the back of a quiet restaurant to reset your moods after a few hours. Sipping a juice box and eating a cookie at a back table at Pecos Bills has saved me more times than you can imagine.

These things may seem like a waste of money and time in an expensive theme park, but if overall enjoyment of the experience is improved, I say it’s worth it. You may only do 5 rides in a day instead of 15, but you’ll still have a great time and create wonderful memories.

 

[Nemo14]

I have taken my DD3 every 6 months since she was 1-1/2. Bubbles have been my lifesaver while standing in line and light sticks at night. I have even brought her a small tambourine for waiting for the parade. The dollar store has a lot of cute things to keep them occupied. I would not cancel. It is a magical age to be at Disney. Good luck.

You mentioned bubbles and I just want to say that I find that to be one of the most annoying things about waiting in lines. I don't appreciate it at all when they pop on my glasses or camera lenses. You might want to think of better ways to entertain your children. I know Sea World employees do this all the time, and I've seen some pretty upset guests remarking about it.

Just something to think about...

 

[Jeannemccabe]

We blow them down to our 3 year old, so they do not annoy adults. I too have glasses and an expensive camera. Thanks.

 

[DisneyDreamer08]

Thank you so much everyone for your responses. After letting it all sink in today, I do feel better. I realize this trip is going to be 100% centered around her. I am fine with riding her rides over and over. The meltdowns over her not getting her way was what was really upsetting. She would wait patiently in line for 20 minutes and then cry and kick and scream if she didn't get the color car she wanted. And then after she calmed down, she would want to get back in line and wait again. Only to take another fit. It was all just really disappointing. We still have a few months before our trip and she's starting school in a few weeks so hopefully she will grow up a little before we go
I greatly appreciate all the advice and personal stories so please keep sharing.
Thank you!

 

[LAM378]

It's tempting to worry but really, don't! WDW is a lot for a young child, just severely overstimulating, but the good far outweighs the bad. As other posters have mentioned, let her get enough rest. Pick a few things that are must-dos every day, schedule them for her best, most well-rested time of day, and consider anything else you get to see or do to be a bonus. Let her linger over little things that captivate her. Take her to the playground areas and let her blow off steam. There will be meltdowns, but have talks in advance with her about the things you think might set her off. Watch ride videos and act like it'll be a huge fun surprise to find out what color car you'll get to ride in.

My 4-year-old was very picky about things like car colors, characters, etc, but I had some luck telling him that we don't get to pick--Mickey picks. If he wanted to ride in a red pirate ship but we were given a blue one, well, Mickey wanted us to have that one. That worked most of the time.

I found that school stopped a lot of those meltdowns. All kids do that stuff, especially only children, but once they start school they learn they don't get their own way all the time, sometimes another kid gets their favorite color crayon, and you can't have a tantrum every time you don't get what you want. It becomes easier for you--and the child--to stop a tantrum in its tracks once they get used to being in a classroom full of kids who all want their own way, but don't always get it.

I wouldn't cancel the trip. It's awesome when they're young enough to really believe in the magic. Even knowing how hairy it would've gotten at times, I wish I'd taken my son when he was 2 or 3. The positives make the negatives more than worth it.

 

[stevehousse]

2 1/2 was the best age for my boys...it seemed when thy turned 3 they became scared of a lot of stuff. We still had a great time though...once my oldest hot 4, it was fine! My youngest is 3 1/2 when we go in Novemeber so I'm hoping he is ok...he seems to be afraid of stuff at his age just like his brother!

Just enjoy u trip and taking breaks when they r that young is the most suitable thing to do when on vacation at that age...

 

[gooftroop5]

We've taken our kids almost every year since they were 4 months old and our oldest is now 10. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to take the lead from your kids. That doesn't mean to do everything and anything they want. It simply means that if they are tired, take a break. If they are hungry, eat. If they wake up and are ready to go all out WDW, then head to the parks and tour away. We also never force our kids to ride any attraction that they don't want to. It can cause unnecessary stress and melt-downs.

Print out some maps and start talking about the attractions with your kiddo. Get them to pick what they definitely want to do before the trip. If they are excited before the trip I feel it makes the trip more enjoyable. You can Fastpass the must-dos and rider swap the ones she doesn't meet the requirements for or doesn't want to ride.

There is so much to do at WDW that you can always find something to make them happy.

One thing all my kids loved........when HS has evening EMH the Disney Jr. building has a dance party with many characters that mingle with the kids. We have several pictures of our kids dancing with their favorite Disney Jr. characters. It has always been a hit.

Another piece of advice.......look at menus before your trip and find places that serve your kiddos favorite foods. Food has a way of making things better.

 

[IWantMyMagicBand]

She's at that age, that's all. I went with a 5, 3 and 1 year old. I rushed it and tried to cram everything in as we, like you, cannot afford to go all the time. We are going again this year and the kids are now 8, 5 and 4. My just turned 4 year old is going through the similar phase (it's my world and it revolves around Me and only Me lol). We have scheduled a lot more downtime this year, the first full day we are there we are not leaving the hotel, we are adjusting to being away. Your best friend will be FP+, air conditioned restaurants, shade and rest. Our most magical times last time were just walking through the parks and watching shows.
And please, no bubbles. Ever had one pop in your eye while wearing a contact lens? Ouch!

 

[DisneyDreamer08]

2 1/2 was the best age for my boys...it seemed when thy turned 3 they became scared of a lot of stuff. We still had a great time though...once my oldest hot 4, it was fine! My youngest is 3 1/2 when we go in Novemeber so I'm hoping he is ok...he seems to be afraid of stuff at his age just like his brother!

Just enjoy u trip and taking breaks when they r that young is the most suitable thing to do when on vacation at that age...

So funny you should mention fears- we are going through that too! Last summer when she was 2 1/2, she was super excited for all the kiddie rides & even some big rides she was tall enough for. This year at 3 1/2, she was much more hesitant. She tried everything we asked her too but there were a few she told us she didn't want to ride again. She's like that with other stuff now too. Like we have a pool and last summer she would jump in & swim on her own. This year, she always wanted us to hold her. I think when they are little they don't know how to be afraid. Good to know the regression is normal!

 

[DisneyDreamer08]

These are all wonderful tips, thank you everyone!
Just out of curiosity, how is Disney when it comes to accommodating children on certain rides? My husband and I were talking last night and I told him that in the past, we have made certain requests, like the front row on Soarin'. Obviously if the CM said no we wouldn't freak out His response was, well that makes the ride better. And I said, well for her, getting the purple car would make the ride better. Is it crazy to request certain things? We will just have to explain to her that if a CM says no, she has to accept it. So I don't know if that would just make it worse. I feel like it would save a lot of meltdowns though.

 

[stevehousse]

They should be more than accommodating for u. Asking for front row or the red pirate ship on Peter Pan is more than fine!

 

[Weather_Lady]

I say go on you vacation as planned, keep your daughter well-rested (with daily naps, even if she doesn't take them at home), well-exercised (giving her a chance to do some walking outside, so she's not stir crazy or hyper), well-fed (nutritious food on her regular schedule), and well-disciplined (meaning that expectations and consequences are clearly communicated ahead of time, and consistently enforced, both at home and on vacation) and then relax, because you'll have done everything possible to help your daughter be at her best.

Hers is a tough age, and I don't know how well she'll be able to adapt her behavior in the face of unpleasant consequences or calm herself down voluntarily in the event of a meltdown, but here's what we did with my 4 and 6-year-olds on their first WDW trip. We made it clear ahead of time that if there was any bad behavior (e.g., meltdowns), they would: (1) first, miss out on any attraction at which they acted inappropriately -- in other words, if you have a meltdown in the queue, one of us will remove you from the situation and you don't get to go on the attraction with everybody else; (2) if inappropriate behavior was repeated, they lose the right to choose a souvenir (otherwise, each was promised one at the end of our trip); and (3) if inappropriate behavior persisted after that, they would be taken back to our hotel room and would lose out on the itinerary for the rest of the day (or if it was late in the day, the next day), staying in the hotel room with a "Kids' Night Out" sitter -- I kept the phone number for KNO, a reputable local babysitting service, in my pocket at all times and had set aside a "sitter fund" just in case -- while the rest of us continued to have fun in the parks.

We had a little family meeting before we left to make up a simple "rules" chart (the kids got to volunteer their own rules, as well) and we all signed a "contract" agreeing to abide by the rules, or face the consequences. It worked very well, and there were no meltdowns on our trip (except maybe one by me).

 

[MotherofaPrincessLover]

I say go. My daughter was about 3 1/2 on her first trip and she did great. Your daughter may just have had an off day when you visited the amusement park. Disney is more magical than regular amusement parks so I'm sure your daughter will get swept up in the magic!

 

[MickeyisMyBestFriend]

My family took on the challenge of bringing a 2 and 4 year old and it was AWESOME, I would suggest not to change the trip or go to Disneyland. There will be meltdowns but if you explain stuff to her ahead of time and help her know what to expect I am sure it will be alright. Also, remember Disney is so magical hopefully her brain will be too overloaded with it she hopefully wont even focus on the lines. In lines, you can always bring a game or toy ( as suggested above) but maybe try to talk to her about what rides she wants to go on next or what she would like to do. Hope it helps

 

[stevehousse]

Another good thing to do is to show her videos of rides and characters to meet! That way she is somewhat aquainted with what will go on during the trip!