Missing_Aria
Active Member
Okay so my girlfriend and I are planning a December trip to WDW, tickets & hotel room are booked and everything (even got the free dining plan deal YAY!) but this year I've been dealing with a new friend... My cane. The cane is something I've been struggling with both literally and emotionally because I'm 32, still get along fairly quickly most days while using my cane, and I don't have anything visibly wrong with me.
I'm a former Air Force medic who served in Afghanistan doing convoys with the Army (101st cause who the heck hasn't at this point?) and before anyone goes thinking I got shot or blown up or something let me tell you my deployment was luckily largely uneventful. It was interesting and I got to experience a lot but, with the exception of one major incident in which I was completely unharmed, it was fine. However, my right side of my hip turns in and I've 'walked funny' my whole life with occasional problems here and there. It was never too bad unless I was tired or hurting for some reason though so I was able to join the service and start doing real damage to that hip and leg. The doctors don't really know what happened, if it was even just one thing, or what exactly is wrong. Right now they just assume moderate to high wear and tear on something that wasn't particularly strong to begin with. Lots of tests and imaging haven't really given us more than that. All we really know is that my right leg and hip are weak and frequently experience pain and locking up when faced with high levels or long periods of physical activity. All the running and walking I used to do? Nope, can't even walk a block without my cane without being in tears from the stabbing pain.
Problem is that, as a former military medic, I have a hard time thinking of that above paragraph as a good enough reason to have an ECV. I've never even used one in a mall or store. I've used a manual wheelchair once in IKEA and, while it definitely helped, I felt insanely stupid. The whole time I'm just sitting there thinking 'I can walk, what the hell am I doing? I need to stop being a baby!' It didn't help when an older couple (maybe 70?) who were clearly in excellent shape mobility wise started making snide comments about me being in a chair while in the elevator. Stage whispers of "young people these days are just so lazy" as they cut me off to get onto the elevator were followed by venomous glares the whole ride. Of course a huge part of my brain agreed with them, I really felt like I was just being lazy (even though it's harder to push a wheelchair that's far to big for you with your arms than it is just to walk if you're healthy). Mentally I couldn't reason with myself that I did need it, that it did help, that the fact that I didn't wake up screaming in agony the following night was an excellent indicator of just how much the chair actually helped, all that mattered was that I felt like a giant fake because I CAN walk. Logically I'm aware that line of thought is idiotic, but subconsciously these thoughts rule my mind, even when I'm just using my cane.
I definitely feel bad about the cane on a daily basis because I live in New York, and it's a daily thing where I'm too scared to ask for the seat I need on a subway or bus. I get trash talked or intentionally knocked around multiple times a week by people trying to prove some sort of point or something I guess. I have no problem with, and frequently end up, asking people to give up their seats for other disabled/elderly/pregnant persons but if someone offers me a seat I'm too embarrassed/ashamed to properly thank them half the time. I have bad anxiety & PTSD because of the military and all of it centers around social conflict and social interactions in general so, even when I can put on a tough front, I'm usually shaking when someone decides to be an about my use of a cane.
Which brings me to Disney World. Everything I've read online says that if you need a cane in your day to day life you really should rent a wheelchair or ECV. I don't want to put my girlfriend out by needing frequent breaks or needing to head back to the resort early. I also definitely don't want to wake up screaming due to extreme leg cramps because I pushed myself too hard for too long. But I also don't want to deal with some jerk making snide comments and making my anxiety flare up, or maybe having to deal with someone actually confronting me directly and causing me to shut down completely since I won't be bringing my ESA with me (because honestly I shouldn't need her for a week long trip and I hate people who abuse the ESA/Service Animal laws with a burning passion). I've seen a LOT of websites, forum threads, and reddits complaining about anyone in an ECV and I'm legitimately terrified that I'll run into someone who just wants to hate me for being on one if I choose to go that route. So I'm not sure what I should do.
Sorry I know this was really long. Basically I'm looking for some first hand accounts of people like me who are young adults who look healthy and use/have used ECVs at Disney World. What was it like? Do you have any tips? Should I just tough it out and plan out a bunch of breaks or get one of those canes with a chair built in (even though they're useless to walk with)? I've been thinking about this since I booked the trip in January and I'm honestly no closer to a decision.
I'm a former Air Force medic who served in Afghanistan doing convoys with the Army (101st cause who the heck hasn't at this point?) and before anyone goes thinking I got shot or blown up or something let me tell you my deployment was luckily largely uneventful. It was interesting and I got to experience a lot but, with the exception of one major incident in which I was completely unharmed, it was fine. However, my right side of my hip turns in and I've 'walked funny' my whole life with occasional problems here and there. It was never too bad unless I was tired or hurting for some reason though so I was able to join the service and start doing real damage to that hip and leg. The doctors don't really know what happened, if it was even just one thing, or what exactly is wrong. Right now they just assume moderate to high wear and tear on something that wasn't particularly strong to begin with. Lots of tests and imaging haven't really given us more than that. All we really know is that my right leg and hip are weak and frequently experience pain and locking up when faced with high levels or long periods of physical activity. All the running and walking I used to do? Nope, can't even walk a block without my cane without being in tears from the stabbing pain.
Problem is that, as a former military medic, I have a hard time thinking of that above paragraph as a good enough reason to have an ECV. I've never even used one in a mall or store. I've used a manual wheelchair once in IKEA and, while it definitely helped, I felt insanely stupid. The whole time I'm just sitting there thinking 'I can walk, what the hell am I doing? I need to stop being a baby!' It didn't help when an older couple (maybe 70?) who were clearly in excellent shape mobility wise started making snide comments about me being in a chair while in the elevator. Stage whispers of "young people these days are just so lazy" as they cut me off to get onto the elevator were followed by venomous glares the whole ride. Of course a huge part of my brain agreed with them, I really felt like I was just being lazy (even though it's harder to push a wheelchair that's far to big for you with your arms than it is just to walk if you're healthy). Mentally I couldn't reason with myself that I did need it, that it did help, that the fact that I didn't wake up screaming in agony the following night was an excellent indicator of just how much the chair actually helped, all that mattered was that I felt like a giant fake because I CAN walk. Logically I'm aware that line of thought is idiotic, but subconsciously these thoughts rule my mind, even when I'm just using my cane.
I definitely feel bad about the cane on a daily basis because I live in New York, and it's a daily thing where I'm too scared to ask for the seat I need on a subway or bus. I get trash talked or intentionally knocked around multiple times a week by people trying to prove some sort of point or something I guess. I have no problem with, and frequently end up, asking people to give up their seats for other disabled/elderly/pregnant persons but if someone offers me a seat I'm too embarrassed/ashamed to properly thank them half the time. I have bad anxiety & PTSD because of the military and all of it centers around social conflict and social interactions in general so, even when I can put on a tough front, I'm usually shaking when someone decides to be an about my use of a cane.
Which brings me to Disney World. Everything I've read online says that if you need a cane in your day to day life you really should rent a wheelchair or ECV. I don't want to put my girlfriend out by needing frequent breaks or needing to head back to the resort early. I also definitely don't want to wake up screaming due to extreme leg cramps because I pushed myself too hard for too long. But I also don't want to deal with some jerk making snide comments and making my anxiety flare up, or maybe having to deal with someone actually confronting me directly and causing me to shut down completely since I won't be bringing my ESA with me (because honestly I shouldn't need her for a week long trip and I hate people who abuse the ESA/Service Animal laws with a burning passion). I've seen a LOT of websites, forum threads, and reddits complaining about anyone in an ECV and I'm legitimately terrified that I'll run into someone who just wants to hate me for being on one if I choose to go that route. So I'm not sure what I should do.
Sorry I know this was really long. Basically I'm looking for some first hand accounts of people like me who are young adults who look healthy and use/have used ECVs at Disney World. What was it like? Do you have any tips? Should I just tough it out and plan out a bunch of breaks or get one of those canes with a chair built in (even though they're useless to walk with)? I've been thinking about this since I booked the trip in January and I'm honestly no closer to a decision.
