Hello my friends! I know. I know. I have gone MIA AGAIN with an unfinished TR from September, and as @fractal pointed out, I do owe you not 1 ½ , but 2 ½ TR’s!
And now it is soon to 3 ½ …
I know I should pick up where I left off and not skip ahead, but writing has always been therapeutic for me and the last several months have been surreal. I’m thinking maybe if I write about it, maybe I will feel a little better.
This past December, my folks came to stay with us for the holidays.
Right after Christmas, my mom decided that she did not want to go back to my brother’s house in NJ. She decided she wanted to stay with us in NY. I think she sensed something and wanted to be close to the area she and my dad were born and raised. Since January, my dad has spent 5 weeks in and out of the hospital. Finally, he said no more trips to the hospital. He made me promise him, so we called Hospice. Sadly, my daddy passed away last week.
He was at home with all of us around him. He missed his 90th birthday by just a week. I guess he knew Heaven would give him a grander party. I miss him. I don’t think I’ve really accepted it yet. It just doesn’t seem real.
This is us on my wedding day…
So that’s the shadows I feel around me.
The sunshine? Well that goes with the pomp & circumstance… Julia has graduated from Full Sail University with a Bachelors of Science in 3D Computer Animation. So proud of my girl! She had a bittersweet birthday last week losing her pop-pop.
We will be flying down to Orlando for her commencement on May 10th. And since Full Sail is only about twenty minutes from Disney, Julia asked to go to her favorite park (EPCOT) for a day. She also asked to eat at Morimoto and maybe sneak a few hours in at the Studios. We will be flying out on Tuesday and back to NY on Saturday. So many memories to make…
This will be the first time we will be staying off site. We are staying at a “good neighbor” hotel in Lake Buena Vista, but it will definitely be a different kind of trip for us. Actually, I feel a great deal of guilt leaving my mom so soon after my dad passed. My brothers will both be staying at my house with her, but she is so attached to me… I’m not sure how this is going to go. I can’t even be out of the house for more than an hour without her having one of my girls call me and make sure I’m coming home soon. My parents were married for 69 years!!! I can’t imagine the grief my mom feels.
While I feel all that guilt, I also can’t wait to board that plane, close my eyes and just BREATHE. It’s been quite a stressful four months.
So here is my attempt at journaling this time… filled with so many emotions… from joy and happiness to sorrow and pain. Our time of sunshine and shadows.
And now it is soon to 3 ½ …
I know I should pick up where I left off and not skip ahead, but writing has always been therapeutic for me and the last several months have been surreal. I’m thinking maybe if I write about it, maybe I will feel a little better.
This past December, my folks came to stay with us for the holidays.
Right after Christmas, my mom decided that she did not want to go back to my brother’s house in NJ. She decided she wanted to stay with us in NY. I think she sensed something and wanted to be close to the area she and my dad were born and raised. Since January, my dad has spent 5 weeks in and out of the hospital. Finally, he said no more trips to the hospital. He made me promise him, so we called Hospice. Sadly, my daddy passed away last week.
He was at home with all of us around him. He missed his 90th birthday by just a week. I guess he knew Heaven would give him a grander party. I miss him. I don’t think I’ve really accepted it yet. It just doesn’t seem real.
This is us on my wedding day…
So that’s the shadows I feel around me.
The sunshine? Well that goes with the pomp & circumstance… Julia has graduated from Full Sail University with a Bachelors of Science in 3D Computer Animation. So proud of my girl! She had a bittersweet birthday last week losing her pop-pop.
We will be flying down to Orlando for her commencement on May 10th. And since Full Sail is only about twenty minutes from Disney, Julia asked to go to her favorite park (EPCOT) for a day. She also asked to eat at Morimoto and maybe sneak a few hours in at the Studios. We will be flying out on Tuesday and back to NY on Saturday. So many memories to make…
This will be the first time we will be staying off site. We are staying at a “good neighbor” hotel in Lake Buena Vista, but it will definitely be a different kind of trip for us. Actually, I feel a great deal of guilt leaving my mom so soon after my dad passed. My brothers will both be staying at my house with her, but she is so attached to me… I’m not sure how this is going to go. I can’t even be out of the house for more than an hour without her having one of my girls call me and make sure I’m coming home soon. My parents were married for 69 years!!! I can’t imagine the grief my mom feels.
While I feel all that guilt, I also can’t wait to board that plane, close my eyes and just BREATHE. It’s been quite a stressful four months.
So here is my attempt at journaling this time… filled with so many emotions… from joy and happiness to sorrow and pain. Our time of sunshine and shadows.
