Planning with Non-Disney Enthusiasts

[Fox&Hound]

So, as we all know, a trip to Disney World now means a lot of pre-planning in order to get the most out of your trip. But, how do you handle this when you go on a vacation with non-enthusiasts or people who generally don't comprehend that some things have to be planned in advance? My wife and I are obsessed with Disney and get excited about planning ADR's and rides in advance but trying to get my family to commit to anything is an excruciating process. We are going in November and we can't even get people to confirm they are going at all. This same thing happened last year and when they finally decided they wanted to join us, they expected us to change all of our dining reservations to accommodate them. Is it rude to remind everyone we can book in a few weeks and that they need to make some decisions and if not we will book without them? Has anyone encountered a similar situation? It is so much easier to go with just my wife and child then it is trying to wrangle indecisive people into making decisions. How can I word my request without sounding like a jerk or control freak? Thoughts? Help?

 

[Fox&Hound]

Sorry I should have explained more clearly. We are all staying together so while rides we can plan on our own we get lumped into the same group with them when it comes to making ADR. Therein lies the problem. First they won't commit to coming until three months before we go and if they do they spend more time saying what restaurants they don't like than the ones they do. They are my family and I love them but they are the people who don't want to plan anything but are the first to complain on the trip when they don't like a place that was picked.

 

[KikoKea]

Seen the scenario before. Here's my advice:

-Give them a deadline to decide if they are going to WDW and stick to it.
- If they choose to go, fine. If not, make your own plans. If someone changes their mind later, after you have ressies, ADRs, etc they can make their own. If they beg you to do their work for them, and you agree to do it, tell them if there is ANY complaints it will be the last time you ever do it again...and stick to that promise.
-Make a few ADRs for yourself & wife and let these be your special times. (Be firm on this- you'll need the sanity break) If they all say they want to a TS as a group, then offer make an ADR on different dates for the group at an easy to get place- just tell them that is all that is left available at so late a time.
-If you have tickets ahead of time and make FPs, let everyone make their own. Explain the process and give advice on how to best use the FPs available, then leave it up to them.
-Give them all the info they need, get them inside the front gate, and let them explore on their own.Tell them you do not want to slow them down or get in their way, so you and your wife and going about your own way since they may not enjoy what you guys plan to do. Make sure they know how to get back the resort or hotel on their own. You don't want to leave the park just to escort someone back to the room because they are tired, bored, or pouting.
-If you want, schedule a meet up time for lunch at a QS for anyone who wants to show up. Tell them you may or may not be there.

Main thing is to split up. Let those who wish to charge hard at rides press on at full speed. Let those who prefer to amble and shop mosey at their own pace. We went 4 days with our best friends and met twice for ADRs, otherwise we went our own way for 80% of the time and it was great. Everyone had fun, we are still best friends, and we are planning a DL trip for the Fall. Good luck!

 

[Weather_Lady]

I'm trained as a teacher and attorney, so my first inclination is to recommend handouts and paperwork! Circulate a dining questionnaire (with restaurant info., if your family is unfamiliar with WDW) about what restaurants (or types of cuisine) are considered "must-dos" or "dealbreakers," and any allergies or dining time preferences, with a disclaimer that you are making reservations for everyone at 180 days out, and that due to diminishing availability, changes, although possible, will become more difficult as time passes. People can speak now, or forever hold their peace.

 

[Fox&Hound]

Great responses. Thank you! I get so stressed when we go with extended family despite Disney being my "happy place". I wish we could all just do our own dining but people claim to want to all eat together but don't want to do the work beforehand....

 

[KikoKea]

Great responses. Thank you! I get so stressed when we go with extended family despite Disney being my "happy place". I wish we could all just do our own dining but people claim to want to all eat together but don't want to do the work beforehand....

Then simply tell them you'll work out ADRs for some of the nights, but not all, and not for every meal. Let each family unit be on their own for breakfast and schedule either lunch or dinner, but not both, for an ADR or QS meetup. You do not have to spend every moment or meal with them- really! Don't waste a trip to the World being miserable and stressed. Everyone is a grownup and will be fine.

 

[Stellajack]

Go ahead and take care of the plans yourself so that you can meet all deadlines. It's difficult enough to get plans made when everyone is cooperating; but, a nightmare when others drag their feet.

 

[Weather_Lady]

Then simply tell them you'll work out ADRs for some of the nights, but not all, and not for every meal. Let each family unit be on their own for breakfast and schedule either lunch or dinner, but not both, for an ADR or QS meetup. You do not have to spend every moment or meal with them- really! Don't waste a trip to the World being miserable and stressed. Everyone is a grownup and will be fine.

Excellent advice!

 

[PinnySmart]

I'm trained as a teacher and attorney, so my first inclination is to recommend handouts and paperwork! Circulate a dining questionnaire (with restaurant info., if your family is unfamiliar with WDW) about what restaurants (or types of cuisine) are considered "must-dos" or "dealbreakers," and any allergies or dining time preferences, with a disclaimer that you are making reservations for everyone at 180 days out, and that due to diminishing availability, changes, although possible, will become more difficult as time passes. People can speak now, or forever hold their peace.

I'm stealing, I mean borrowing this!

 

[Zipadeelady]

Sorry I should have explained more clearly. We are all staying together so while rides we can plan on our own we get lumped into the same group with them when it comes to making ADR. Therein lies the problem. First they won't commit to coming until three months before we go and if they do they spend more time saying what restaurants they don't like than the ones they do. They are my family and I love them but they are the people who don't want to plan anything but are the first to complain on the trip when they don't like a place that was picked.

Take me, i'll be your family

 

[Princess_AmyK]

I took a trip a couple years ago with a first timer that wasnt a huge disney fan. I learned one very important lesson from that trip. You are only responsible for your happiness and not theirs. You do what you need to do in order to feel good about the money you are spending and to get the most out of your vacation. Include them in questions but if they don't want to listen or be active in the conversation then do not force it and do not take it personally. As in life, we get out of our vacation what we put into it. If they do not want to put forth the effort needed and subsequently end up not enjoying their vacation, that is on them. you may want them to enjoy it just because they are family and you care, but so much is out of your control and thats ok. manage expectation, and take care of your end.

Nothing is worse than putting everything into impressing someone and trying to make their vacation perfect just for them to not be that excited about it. You cant make someone care who doesnt want to care.

I hope you enjoy your vacation! and remember, its just as much your vacation as it is theirs so dont be afraid to put yourself first sometimes!

 

[jaklgreen]

We don't travel with extended family for this reason. Vacation is supposed to be a happy, relaxed time. I think I would just give them a printout of my plans and let them figure out how to plan out their own vacation.

 

[Disvillain63]

For these very reasons mentioned, we take our grandchildren and not our DiL. We tried four trips with her (3 WDW and 1 DL). She found a way to be dissatisfied with every trip. We now make plans for trips without her.

 

[DManRightHere]

Sorry I should have explained more clearly. We are all staying together so while rides we can plan on our own we get lumped into the same group with them when it comes to making ADR. Therein lies the problem. First they won't commit to coming until three months before we go and if they do they spend more time saying what restaurants they don't like than the ones they do. They are my family and I love them but they are the people who don't want to plan anything but are the first to complain on the trip when they don't like a place that was picked.

We've dealt with this. It never ended well but we tried. We just booked ADR's for everyone and changed it to less people when we knew.

Try not to worry! Plan it your way and hope they'll join you!