Opinions Needed

[Goof-Man]

So as some of you may have read, I am in the midst of planning a January 2022 trip for my wife and kids. My plan was to surprise her on Oct 1; our 10th anniversary as we originally wanted to go on our actual 10th; but Covid had other thoughts.

But now she is having a hard time with the kids being out of school and various lock down measures being extended, her mental health is really being tested. She also has diagnosed anxiety and depression.

I am wondering if I should break the news to her as a means to cheer her up or should I hold true to my plan. Thoughts or experiences when dealing with a person with anxiety and depression are helpful.

 

[nickys]

So as some of you may have read, I am in the midst of planning a January 2022 trip for my wife and kids. My plan was to surprise her on Oct 1; our 10th anniversary as we originally wanted to go on our actual 10th; but Covid had other thoughts.

But now she is having a hard time with the kids being out of school and various lock down measures being extended, her mental health is really being tested. She also has diagnosed anxiety and depression.

I am wondering if I should break the news to her as a means to cheer her up or should I hold true to my plan. Thoughts or experiences when dealing with a person with anxiety and depression are helpful.

I would say tell her now.

It could take time for her to actually start looking forward to it, and October doesn’t leave a lot of time for that to happen. Especially with Christmas approaching.

The thought of a trip could even be a source of more anxiety at times when she’s low. But equally if she knows about it, she can use it to try and get her through some of the tougher times. So pick a time when she’s feeling more positive to tell her, since it might not have the immediate effect you’re hoping for. Don’t get despondent if that happens either.

Let her voice her fears about the trip, if and when she does. And then talk about how to alleviate them together.

 

[Queen of the WDW Scene]

Only you know the answer as to whether to tell her now or hold off.

I do know that mental health/anxiety/depression usually has a cause and just telling someone hey cheer up we are going to Disney in 6 months likely won't suddenly make her do a 180.

Personally I'd try to help her with the cause of the anxiety/depression before surprising her with a trip because then the news will likely make her more excited than telling her when she's not up to feeling happy/excited about it.

 

[Goof-Man]

Only you know the answer as to whether to tell her now or hold off.

I do know that mental health/anxiety/depression usually has a cause and just telling someone hey cheer up we are going to Disney in 6 months likely won't suddenly make her do a 180.

Personally I'd try to help her with the cause of the anxiety/depression before surprising her with a trip because then the news will likely make her more excited than telling her when she's not up to feeling happy/excited about it.

Thank you; yes I couldn't agree more. Thanks for weighing in.

 

[MissViv]

I would tell her. Something to look forward to and join in on the planning could be just what she needs. Everyone has had great issues with the lockdown but especially mom's dealing with children.

For me, I am older & retired, the planning is almost as good as going to WDW. I book months in advance and read the forums usually on a daily basis and the anticipation and excitement grows as the upcoming trip looms closer.

Good Luck and Best Wishes to you and your family!

 

[JIMINYCR]

YES...Certainly do so. Someone who you love is in need of a lift in spirits. Anxiety and depression has been rampant since covid began and many people who normally could cope are finding things overwhelming from the length of time this has gone on and the added stress this has caused in the home. Knowing a reveal at this time could give her a boost and something to look forward to, I wouldnt wait. It will give her an alternative to the pressure by allowing her to focus on a positive outlook on the future get away and help give her something favorable to plan for.
But at the same time you need to open communications with her and find out if she needs professional help or assistance dealing with her depression. Not everyone recognizes they need help until someone close to them confronts them and helps hem seek out the help they need. Also look somewhat at yourself and see if you can take on some of the burdens shes dealing with to ease the pressure on her shoulders. I know as a DH, I'll admit I sometimes dont pitch in as much as I could, sometimes just because I'm focused on myself.
The Disney trip is wonderful but try finding some other things you can surprise her with to let her know you are supporting her and understanding what shes facing every day.