ALl ENBURG
We pass a large billboard, welcoming us to this land. It reads: WELCOME TO ALLENBURG! YOU’LL NEVER WANT TO LEAVE! However, the second L in the word Allenburg has weathered away, so that it now reads ALI ENBURG. Meanwhile, the image of a typical suburban street with the sun setting in the background looks suspiciously like a flying saucer…
Slightly more conspicuous is the giant, robotic alien machine on top of the nearby municipal building. This robot occasionally sparks and sputters, with steam, hisses, and moving limbs.
This is Alienburg.
Inspiration
In the real Universal Studios Florida, this space is utterly wasted. It houses
Men in Black: Alien Attack!, a shuttered theater that is only used for Halloween Horror Nights, and a Coke Freestyle refill station. The former is admittedly a pretty good ride, in my opinion; it is better than the other shooting dark rides in Orlando, with real, actual, honest-to-goodness sets, and a spinning mechanic that is kind of fun. The easiest route to take with this area would be to just use it as an expansion pad of Diagon Alley. However, I decided to take this area as a challenge, keeping the aliens, but removing the World’s Fair/abandoned warehouse asthetic. I had initially planned to keep the Men in Black dark ride, reskinning it to fit a new theme, but I decided to be more ambitious about it. The thematic inspiration of this area is the sci-fi b-movies of the 1950s. I really love the hammy, low-budget quality of these films, and I decided to pair it with something equally fake, equally cheap, and equally American: a 1950s cookie cutter suburb, similar to the Levittowns.
A quick note: this area was in no way ripped off of Cosmic Crater from
@D Hulk ’s fantastic DisneySky. I had designed basically the entire area before reading that presentation, and had a bit of an “oh, crap!” reaction when I saw it. I think that there’s enough differences with my land, but I wanted to apologize and address that potential concern. As I designed this area, taking liberal doses of inspiration from various Meow Wolf projects, I also came up with a very involved backstory. This story would be hidden throughout the land, in newspapers, TV clips, books, blueprints, and exhibits in the library. However, since these details are hard to convey in writing without taking up an additional six pages, I decided to tell it here before we start the tour. While not necessary for enjoying the land, this backstory adds an extra layer of depth to this experience.
Backstory
In the late 1940s, a man named Martin Allen noticed that veterans returning from World War II needed a place to live. Many had started families, and were now searching for affordable housing. Allen quickly devised the Allenburgs, a place for families to live together, with all of the amenities one might need: top of the line housing! A local public library! Green, grassy lawns and public parks for the kids to run around in! His first location, in New Mexico, was a success, as people quickly flocked to the lure of affordable housing. Now flush with cash, Allen expanded into Florida second, building an even better Allenburg designed to be a perfect town, and then built even more throughout the rest of the country. Each Allenburg was bigger and better than the last. However, Allen’s empire came to a halt when he sadly died of a heart attack in 1956. His company was fortunately bought out by another corporation, and Martin Allen is still remembered as an honest and caring man who made American dreams possible. At least, that’s what the common knowledge is…
Martin Allen had always harbored an affinity for the strange and paranormal. His personal library contained volumes on magic, fantastic creatures, and ancient religions. He spent most of his life writing his Grand Unifying Theory of the cosmos: that humanity was chosen by a group of extraterrestrials to fulfill an ancient prophecy. According to his theory, these aliens gifted early humans with knowledge, and even built historical wonders such as the pyramids and Stonehenge to inspire them. Unfortunately, after these aliens departed the earth, they could not find it again in the vast and infinite cosmos. After all, aliens are very forgetful. Allen knew that there was only one thing for him to do: build a huge homing device for the aliens and hope that they found the earth, and him, its savior. Allen hid this giant device within his first town, exploiting the rhythms of the cosmos to amplify his efforts. The initial homing device did not seem to work, so Allen quickly built another with his new fortune: the Floridan Allenburg. This device did not seem to work either, so he continued to build more and more towns.
Unfortunately, while these devices did not seem to attract aliens, their manipulation of reality caused the fabric of space to bend. These bends and tears created wormholes and other disturbances. The government quickly began to investigate the source of these phenomena, eventually tracing it back to Allen. Allen fled to his original town, and, hoping to attract the saviors of humanity, turned his machine as high as he could. Luckily for Allen, the machine finally worked, and UFOs began to pour from the sky. Unluckily for Allen, and the rest of the town, these aliens were not the benevolent muses he had imagined. These aliens were angry, countless, and vicious. Martin Allen and the rest of his town were never seen again. The tragedy was quickly covered up by the government, with the town’s destruction spun as an earthquake. However, the paranormal activity continued. The aliens seemed to have retreated to outer space, satisfied with the damage they had caused… for now.
Layout and Attractions
(the two fives are a typo... sorry!)
Down the street from the library and sign is a row of suburban homes. Each is similar, but slightly different, built in the style of cookie-cutter Levittown homes.
On the surface, Allenburg seems to be a perfect town. However, there are signs of abnormality: the occasional strange plant, a large eye peering from a window, a tentacle winding through the flower beds. The windows of the furthest house down the street (2) have a strange glow emitting from them. Entering this house, we pass through a typical 1950s living room, with space-age furniture and a tv blaring famous clips from the 50s, but slightly altered. Is that a little green man hiding behind Marilyn Monroe? And why is a UFO hovering around Sputnik? Further in, the house seems to melt away, with the wallpaper and family portraits slowly fading into rock work. This tunnel culminates in a canyon, with rope bridges stretched overhead, and a crashed alien saucer in the center.
Crash Site Omega
Here, we see the clash between the crashed aliens and the government scientists seeking to study and contain them. The latter has set up camp around the central anomaly, with climbing towers and ropes crisscrossing above.
Operation Omega (3) is a ropes course similar to the one in Shanghai Disneyland, going all around this miniland, past a waterfall, and even inside of the caves off to the left, getting up close and personal with the rides inside.
Blastoff (4) is a small drop tower, rideable for both kids and adults. In this attraction, some of the younger aliens are attempting to go back home, but they are not very good at building rocket ships, so they are testing it on unsuspecting humans! The notes and blueprints of the aliens line the queue, written in a strange language, but decipherable thanks to pictures. Team members will thank some guests for testing the invention (hopefully it doesn’t explode this time!) but it’s all in good fun, and the rockets just hop up and down anyway, giving guests a brief view of the canyon at their peak. Oddly, most of the team members throughout the area seem dazed, like they have been hypnotized. If asked about anything out of the ordinary, they will insist that everything is normal, and isn’t the weather lovely today?
The Hatcher (5) is an experiment as well, but one done by human scientists. Their theory is that if they spin an alien egg fast enough, it might hatch, but first they must generate enough kinetic energy. This time, the notes and blueprints are in English. Here, we are loaded into a himalaya ride system, which rotates us faster and faster, until finally, with a burst of electricity, the ride slows to a stop.
This miniland can be exited back through the house, or through a tunnel through the hillside (not on the map) disguising the fully enclosed (but roofless) area from the rest of the land and park.
Now, we can circle back to this municipal building, which houses this land’s blockbuster:
Attack of the Invaders from Outer Space! (6) This title is written in dripping green goo over the entryway, underneath the ALI ENBURG carved into the overhead ledge.
Entering the building up the steps (or ramp), we first encounter the lobby, with a reception desk at center. On one wall is an exhibit commemorating the life of the venerable Martin Allen. A sign makes our role here clear: ALLENBURG HISTORICAL TOUR THIS WAY. The queue continues into the town’s archives, with wood paneling and bookshelves on all sides. Tables and armchairs dot the space, and we wind around open books and newspapers that convey some of the town’s history. Guests are dispatched, in groups, into the next room: the mayor’s office. We gather before a desk, behind which a window shows a view of the suburbs sprawling into the distance. Our tour guide, played by a team member, is here to greet us; bubbly and enthusiastic, they introduce themself as an intern for the Allenburg historical society, here to tell you all about the history of this fantastic town! They are barely able to begin when suddenly, the lights flicker, the sky darkens, and a radio on the desk suddenly blares to life.
“Come in! Come in! We are under attack. I repeat, we are under attack!”
Outside, UFOs suddenly swarm the town, firing lasers and warping the landscape.
The tour guide’s perkiness vanishes, replaced by complete and utter terror. Suddenly, the voice on the radio switches; now, it is deep and gruff. This is the voice of Fireman Burton, the chief of the Allenburg Volunteer Fire Department (after all, the town is so perfect that there is no need for any police officers!). He quickly gives us our orders: even though we are civilians, we must proceed to the special emergency vehicles owned by the town and attempt to shut down the homing device he has discovered deep underground. Hopefully, this will end the invasion and reverse the damage done by the attack. Our tour guide quickly sends us out of the room, down a corridor, and into an apparently secret metal bunker.
Here, rations and emergency supplies are piled high. Signs on the walls indicate that this is a nuclear fallout shelter. The cans on the walls have some very off putting names; who would want to eat “PICKLED MEAT CHUNKS”? We finally enter a garage, with flashes through the windows and booms in the distance, where special emergency vehicles wait for us. These vehicles look like period appropriate Ford Ambulances, but roofless, with the siren built into the hood instead.
These vehicles, seating 3 rows of 4, are actually EMVs. They are shiny and white; after all, they have never had to be used! Local officials urgently load us into our vehicles. The safety message is played on loop from several radios throughout the space, in the gruff voice of Fireman Burton. Finally settled in our vehicles, we speed out of the garage and into the fray.
As we exit the garage, we immediately turn into a dark tunnel. The sounds of the battle outside are muffled. On our dashboard is a radio, which crackles with Burton’s voice.
“Ok, here’s the deal. You need to get to the farms on the outside of town, pronto. I’ll meet you there. This car is the only vehicle in town with enough horsepower to destroy that homing device!”
We emerge from the tunnel onto a street in the Allenburg suburbs. Explosions and lasers surround us, as we navigate the torn-up pavement. Moving up and down over huge bumps and around potholes, our siren sounds and lights up as UFOs zip above us. A nearby animatronic dog barks up at the spaceships, while a cat is being lifted up and away by a bright light- it is being abducted. We finally reach the end of the torn up pavement, and begin to accelerate, but a sudden explosion forces us to turn sharply, directly into a nearby house.
The invasion has not been kind to this house. A UFO has crashed through the roof, and the saucer’s dome has broken open. It is here that we see our first aliens: literal Little Green Men, running around the ruined house and causing mayhem. They are kind of cute, but also a bit offputting. One stares with its one eye at the TV, transfixed; another few rip apart a sofa; and in the kitchen, several raid the fridge while another looks through a drinking glass, making its eye appear huge. Some notice us and shout high-pitched gibberish, while others ignore us. We crash through the back wall of the house, and rush off to continue our mission.
We speed under an arch labeled TOWN POOL. Here, the aliens have really made themselves at home. Some chase each other around the pool deck, while another sits in a lifeguard chair. One rubs lotion on another’s back. However, the main visual of this scene is a bit more disturbing: the water in the pool is floating away, and swirling in midair, caught in the bright light of a UFO. More aliens notice us this time, and attempt to shoot us with laser guns, so we rush off once again.
The radio crackles:
“Come in! Hurry! Time’s running out! It’s spreading!”
We enter a farm on the outskirts of town. The barn has another UFO crashed into it, and cows are flying away. Stretched out in the distance is farmland, but it is covered in strange patterns- crop circles. Off on the horizon, huge alien robots, like the one on top of the municipal building, march along, firing lasers and destroying the countryside.
We round a corner, and there, off in the distance, is a human figure!
“You’ve made it!”
We accelerate towards Burton, when suddenly, a huge, physical, flying saucer descends from the sky. A hole opens in its center, and a bright light shines from it, as the ground we are on suddenly lifts up and into the saucer (an elevator lift!).
It is dark inside of the UFO. Suddenly, our vehicle jerks, falling to one side of the ship. Turning around, we watch through a window as the ship blasts off, leaving Allenburg and the rest of the earth, let alone Florida, far behind. As we continue to “zoom out”, we can see that the earth is completely covered in flying saucers, and more are on the way. Suddenly, we hear gibberish behind us. Spinning around, we see a group of little green men, standing next to the ship’s controls, shouting and firing their ray guns at us. The lasers bounce around the metal interior of the ship, rebounding and hitting a large computer behind them, which explodes in light and smoke. Spun around by the force of the explosion, we face the window again, now cracked (actually a second, separate screen) as we fall
towards earth this time, landing with a crash in Allenburg, burrowed deep underground by the force of the impact (another elevator adds to the falling effect)
We escape the smoking wreckage of the UFO to find ourselves in a large concrete bunker with a huge machine in the center. The homing device! Without a moment to lose, we accelerate towards it, crashing into it with a huge burst of smoke and flame. The machine destroyed, reality seems to glitch, with strange, colorful projections hovering in midair accompanied by a crackling noise. The room goes dark.
Suddenly, the lights come up, and we are in the garage where we started. This time, however, there are no alarms and no flashes… we are actually in an adjacent duplicate. A perky female voice comes through the radio.
“We hope you’ve enjoyed your tour of our beautiful city. Please remain seated until your tour vehicle comes to a complete stop. Thanks for coming, and visit us again soon!”
As we disembark, we can see that our vehicle is completely unscratched. Exiting through a gap in the hedges surrounding the municipal building, we can see that the town is exactly as it was when we entered the building. How is this possible? Did destroying the machine really work? And are the aliens gone, or are they still here, hiding in plain sight? The giant robot still on top of the municipal building answers that last question with a resounding
yes.
Shopping and dining coming soon!
it was a delight drawing for you!!
