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Most memorable Jungle Cruise joke.
- Thread starter CPT_Nemo
- Start date
Disneyowner182
Member
They're all memobrable to me.I love that ride.new :lol:
Brett
Well-Known Member
Probably the funniest thing I've ever heard on the ride was this time this guy was using really bad, but funny jokes. Then finally he just starting laughing and said, "Don't worry the lines are short and the jokes are bad today." I don't know why, I couldn't stop laughing after that one. 
castlecake
New Member
Were now entering a dark, scary tunnel, who knows where we will come out, but seeing as this is disney it will probably dunmp us out in a gift shop.:lol: :lol: :lol:
Look out, these snakes like to eat humanes, especialy(skipper to girl wearing a Goofy hat) little girls in goofy hats.:lol: :lol: :lol:
These butterflies grow from 12inches to 1 foot.
:lol: :lol:
Look out, these snakes like to eat humanes, especialy(skipper to girl wearing a Goofy hat) little girls in goofy hats.:lol: :lol: :lol:
These butterflies grow from 12inches to 1 foot.
:lol: :lol:
Tom Morrow
Well-Known Member
The funniest skipper I ever had was during my last trip in October. He basically took nothing of the ride seriously and made it hilarious! I mean it too, the whole boat was laughing. Some skippers can barely even get chuckles out of the passengers.. Well anyway, this guy would say stuff like:
"look over there! See those robots? They're moving. Cool. But you wouldn't even have noticed that if I hadn't pointed it out!"
at the scene where the gorillas are invading that house/campsite: "Thats Mr. & Mrs. Bananna. They're trying to move out of their house. Say 'Hi, Mr. & Mrs. Bananna!' " (If you look at it that way, the scene does look like Gorillas trying to move out of a house, and I found that hilarious.
Apon entering the ancient ruins, where broken columbs that resemble stonehenge are: "And here we have the world's first attempt at a monorail system! As you can see, they didn't get it right."
Those weren't even the funniest he said, but they're the only ones I can remember. Lets face it, nobody is ever going to take the Jungle Cruise seriously, so I think all skippers should be as sarcastic about the ride as possible!
"look over there! See those robots? They're moving. Cool. But you wouldn't even have noticed that if I hadn't pointed it out!"
at the scene where the gorillas are invading that house/campsite: "Thats Mr. & Mrs. Bananna. They're trying to move out of their house. Say 'Hi, Mr. & Mrs. Bananna!' " (If you look at it that way, the scene does look like Gorillas trying to move out of a house, and I found that hilarious.
Apon entering the ancient ruins, where broken columbs that resemble stonehenge are: "And here we have the world's first attempt at a monorail system! As you can see, they didn't get it right."
Those weren't even the funniest he said, but they're the only ones I can remember. Lets face it, nobody is ever going to take the Jungle Cruise seriously, so I think all skippers should be as sarcastic about the ride as possible!
Main Street USA
Well-Known Member
I think all of the jokes that consist of dry humor, bad puns, etc. are the best. Like the one someone wrote above: The butterflies grow form 12 inches to as much as a foot. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Pioneer Hall
Well-Known Member
But since they are on a script now they are careful as to what they say. Sometimes supervisors in plain clothes sneak on board and take notes on whats being said. And if they don't follow the script they can get in a lot of trouble.
One time I was waiting in line for The Great Movie ride and they let us in to the room where u get in to the cars, but there were too many people so we had to wait for the next set. We were talking to 2 CM's and one said to the other should we be talking to them...it's not in the script. They had a meeting about talking from what is outside the script. But the CM's on the ride still do. The tour guide there was pushing the Magical Moment's pin's on my backpack and so was the mobster who took over the car.
One time I was waiting in line for The Great Movie ride and they let us in to the room where u get in to the cars, but there were too many people so we had to wait for the next set. We were talking to 2 CM's and one said to the other should we be talking to them...it's not in the script. They had a meeting about talking from what is outside the script. But the CM's on the ride still do. The tour guide there was pushing the Magical Moment's pin's on my backpack and so was the mobster who took over the car.
DanStat
Well-Known Member
GAP, NJ!
1.) This kid had a GAP shirt on and the CM went um...you have a gap in your shirt...the kid wasn't listening and she was like...you need to get your shirt fixed sir, you have a big gap in your shirt!
2.) Where are you from?...New Jersey...I'm sorry?...New Jersey..I heard you, I'm just sorry.
3.)When you pass by that tribe the CM went "Looks like Brittany has lost her spears!"
1.) This kid had a GAP shirt on and the CM went um...you have a gap in your shirt...the kid wasn't listening and she was like...you need to get your shirt fixed sir, you have a big gap in your shirt!
2.) Where are you from?...New Jersey...I'm sorry?...New Jersey..I heard you, I'm just sorry.
3.)When you pass by that tribe the CM went "Looks like Brittany has lost her spears!"
Pioneer Hall
Well-Known Member
Best joke was probably in December when the CM said "Well if you want ride again look for me, I'll be here everday from 9-6 for the rest of my life." Just the way he said it with such an exhausted sound was SO funny.
Tom Morrow
Well-Known Member
Oh wait!! I just remembered my absolute favorite Jungle Cruise joke!!
Skipper: "So, how many of you woke up this morning, and the first thing you said was "Jungle Cruise!! Gotta do it!! ?"
A few guests raise their hand.
Skipper: "Really? So did I..." (its his job) :lol:
Skipper: "So, how many of you woke up this morning, and the first thing you said was "Jungle Cruise!! Gotta do it!! ?"
A few guests raise their hand.
Skipper: "Really? So did I..." (its his job) :lol:
Here we see the first law of the jungle, "survival of the fittest." We also see the second law of the jungle, "try not to be a zebra."
If you think you're still in the Amazon, well you're in de Nile.
[Inside the Temple, ancient plates are surrounded by cobras and other snakes] Plates, why did it have to be plates?
Some of the best are when boarding or exiting:
I get paid for the number of people I take out...not the number I bring back
Let's set one thing straight... if we start to sink, the captain will be going down with the boat. I'd like you to meet your new captain...What did you say your name was?
Everyone turn around and wave good-bye to those people on the dock. Come on folks, pretend like you're having a good time.
As you exit the boat, if your shoes quickly fill up with water, you've gotten out on the wrong side.
As you exit the boat, watch your step. And if you don't, well then watch your language.
Everyone rise like bread and don't loaf. I know this job isn't much, but it's the yeast I can do for the dough I make. Listen to me, I'm really on a roll.
As you exit the boat, try not to step on anyone's feet, you'll feel like a heel, we'll have to call a toe truck, and you'll have to foot the bill.
Please exit the boat the same way you entered, pushing and shoving.
Goodbye and please be sure to tell everyone about your trip on Jungle Cruise... it'll help keep the lines short.
Of all the groups I've taken on this Cruise, you're the most... recent.
After our cruise, you get to search for your car in our beautiful parking lot, be sure to watch the Irlo Bronson Street Electrical Parade, in thousands of sparkling tail-lights, and electrosynthemagnetic musical horns.
If you think you're still in the Amazon, well you're in de Nile.
[Inside the Temple, ancient plates are surrounded by cobras and other snakes] Plates, why did it have to be plates?
Some of the best are when boarding or exiting:
I get paid for the number of people I take out...not the number I bring back
Let's set one thing straight... if we start to sink, the captain will be going down with the boat. I'd like you to meet your new captain...What did you say your name was?
Everyone turn around and wave good-bye to those people on the dock. Come on folks, pretend like you're having a good time.
As you exit the boat, if your shoes quickly fill up with water, you've gotten out on the wrong side.
As you exit the boat, watch your step. And if you don't, well then watch your language.
Everyone rise like bread and don't loaf. I know this job isn't much, but it's the yeast I can do for the dough I make. Listen to me, I'm really on a roll.
As you exit the boat, try not to step on anyone's feet, you'll feel like a heel, we'll have to call a toe truck, and you'll have to foot the bill.
Please exit the boat the same way you entered, pushing and shoving.
Goodbye and please be sure to tell everyone about your trip on Jungle Cruise... it'll help keep the lines short.
Of all the groups I've taken on this Cruise, you're the most... recent.
After our cruise, you get to search for your car in our beautiful parking lot, be sure to watch the Irlo Bronson Street Electrical Parade, in thousands of sparkling tail-lights, and electrosynthemagnetic musical horns.
sillyspook13
Well-Known Member
"Unlike most of the animals here in the jungle that taste like chicken, these butterflies actually taste more like spam!"
