Kids and Shows

[maggiegrace1]

Well you must do what you feel comfortable with, and it may be that the first year (when she was 2) she was too young to understand completely your reassuring words. Now that she is three, she knows what you are telling her. Every child is unique.

Encouraging irrational fear under any circumstances is very damaging to your child, and will limit their abilities and experiences as adults. In my personal opinion, and I hope you don't take this wrong or become offended, you aren't really putting what's best for her or her feelings first by doing that. You are validating to her that she has a reason to be fearful. She is too young to make her own decisions or understand her feelings in regards to that.

Kind of like...We force are kids to go to school, why? Well it's the law but we also know how important education is. Do they know that? No, of course not, but it is our responsibility to make them go anyway whether they like it or not.

They may hate you when their small for forcing them to go to school, but when they grow up they will be so thankful you made them. The same thing goes in this case .

I'm curious to know what happened to you that makes you so scared of birds if you don't mind sharing?..of course you don't have to if you don't want because that's your personal business and I do understand that.

She does know what we are telling her yet no matter what we say she is still scared...all the love and bribery still does not work so we can not just sit there and force her to do something she is scared of..

If she never goes on Space Mountain or watch a scary movie..something I will not do because I am scared...then she just never does those things..Does not mean that she will always think everything is scray or be scared of everything..I know that there is no boogeyman or that Freddy Krueger is not real..yet I am still SCARED to death of them and any scary movie..so I can not listen to them or watch them..yet my sisters and brother who were raised with me love them..

Some people have fears of irrational things and thats just the way it is..

As for the bird thing..my parents say that I have been scared of them since I was small and saw them..nothing ever happened I am just petrified of them.

So, when I was small my parents never made me go into the bird house at the zoo..or anywhere where there were birds flying around me..and when we bring Maggie to the zoo my husband will take her in the bird house while I stay out..no big deal and I do not have to be near them.

I turned out pretty good without being forced to do something I was scared to do..and feel that Maggie will be fine also if I never make her go on rides that she say are scary..or in dark places that make her scared and make her cry..that is me protecting her and letting her know that I will not force her to do something that upsets her.:shrug:

I do not think that I am limiting her abilites and experiences as an adult..as I do not think that my parents limited mine for me..the fact that I do not go near or around bird exhibits or watch scary movies is not something that has hindered my life as an adult.

I think that Maggie will do pretty okay as an adult, even if she is scared of some things..she has been through some scary things since born and I choose not to put her through anything else that will upset her..

 

[thrupaytonseyes]

Maggiegrace1, I could not agree more!!!! And I find it rather insulting by the insuation that I am not a good parent or my children are not going to be well adjusted because I refuse to make them do something that they don't want to do or allow them to ruin an experience for those around them with their crying.

I am an educator with a college degree and partially through another one who has a huge fear of heights. Even with that fear I am well adjusted and successful. I have tried getting over my fear by going on high things(example those huge slides at amusement parks) and all it has left me is hyperventilating and happy to be on the ground once again. As a child I tried to go up higher than equipment at gymnastics and the jungle gym at school or climbing the next branch of the tree when I was halfway up with my dad(and older brothers) right there encouraging me to go higher but just couldn't. Now if they tried to make me as I was crying, I would resent them and severely lose trust in them(especially if I fell)!

 

[maggiegrace1]

Maggiegrace1, I could not agree more!!!! And I find it rather insulting by the insuation that I am not a good parent or my children are not going to be well adjusted because I refuse to make them do something that they don't want to do or allow them to ruin an experience for those around them with their crying.

I am an educator with a college degree and partially through another one who has a huge fear of heights. Even with that fear I am well adjusted and successful. I have tried getting over my fear by going on high things(example those huge slides at amusement parks) and all it has left me is hyperventilating and happy to be on the ground once again. As a child I tried to go up higher than equipment at gymnastics and the jungle gym at school or climbing the next branch of the tree when I was halfway up with my dad(and older brothers) right there encouraging me to go higher but just couldn't. Now if they tried to make me as I was crying, I would resent them and severely lose trust in them(especially if I fell)!

Thanks..:wave:

I agree with all you have said..

 

[Brioli]

Maggiegrace1, I could not agree more!!!! And I find it rather insulting by the insuation that I am not a good parent or my children are not going to be well adjusted because I refuse to make them do something that they don't want to do or allow them to ruin an experience for those around them with their crying.

I am an educator with a college degree and partially through another one who has a huge fear of heights. Even with that fear I am well adjusted and successful. I have tried getting over my fear by going on high things(example those huge slides at amusement parks) and all it has left me is hyperventilating and happy to be on the ground once again. As a child I tried to go up higher than equipment at gymnastics and the jungle gym at school or climbing the next branch of the tree when I was halfway up with my dad(and older brothers) right there encouraging me to go higher but just couldn't. Now if they tried to make me as I was crying, I would resent them and severely lose trust in them(especially if I fell)!

I just have to say that heights is a totally different thing especially if you are climbing stairs etc...

You CAN get dizzy and fall. I was referring to situations where it's impossible to be hurt.

 

[happymom52003]

Always teach this with encouragement, reassurance, and love and never with aggression or punishment.

I'm a bit confused here....are you saying that forcing a frightened, screaming child onto a ride is an encouraging, reassuring, loving, and non aggressive thing to do? :shrug:

 

[GenerationX]

I'm a bit confused here....are you saying that forcing a frightened, screaming child onto a ride is an encouraging, reassuring, loving, and non aggressive thing to do? :shrug:

Yes, and it is completely safe. There is no chance that a child having a breakdown/panic attack will do anything on a moving ride that will endanger themselves or others.

Personally, I love when a shrieking kid is on a ride. I don't get to enjoy the actual ride, but I get to dwell on how wonderful that the parents are teaching that kid a lesson. The lesson being that the shrieking child is the center of the universe, and all others, including myself, can be damned. I'm sure the 100 others on the ride are thinking the same thing.

 

[Brioli]

I'm a bit confused here....are you saying that forcing a frightened, screaming child onto a ride is an encouraging, reassuring, loving, and non aggressive thing to do? :shrug:

No, I'm just saying that children usually trust their parents and if you use the right encouraging words for your child's developmental age and provide security usually they will go on and ride the ride. AND...they will feel better about themselves afterwards (if you know they will like it).

I really have no experience with my children kicking and screaming, because truthfully I have never tolerated that sort of behavior. It is not an effective communication technique.

Well I mean, before 3-years-old of course they behaved that way some (which is normal for that age and before, but truthfully it's hard to put it on an age.... every child is different. This was the case with my two.)....but between age 3 and 4 I began teaching my children they were not going to get my attention behaving in that manner (so we talk and don't throw tantrums for the most part).

I meant this more for the person whose child throws a fit crying and screaming and they immediately just give up and move on to a different ride. I know I didn't make this very clear, so I did in my other thread that says, "Is your child scared of rides?...Read this"

 

[Brioli]

I'm a bit confused here....are you saying that forcing a frightened, screaming child onto a ride is an encouraging, reassuring, loving, and non aggressive thing to do? :shrug:

You know technically, there are different levels of a child being upset. I know that children will kick and scream if they can get their way, and sometimes that way is not what is best for them.

It's like I know that if "MY TWO KIDS" were to be kicking and screaming about a ride...that THEY DEFINITELY don't want to ride....I would not make them.

The reason is, that my children don't kick and scream over everything so that means this is a BIG DEAL!

It all depends on the child, and only the parent can judge that....

 

[thrupaytonseyes]

The OP was merely asking about a child's attention span during shows, not fear of a show. This has completely gone off topic!